What is a phobia?
In psychiatry, this concept is usually understood as an uncontrolled manifestation of a fear reaction, which is observed for a long time, is intrusive and prevents a person from living a normal life. As a result, the phobia haunts the individual, which leads to avoidance of certain situations or objects. In the case of pregnant women, this may be the fear of giving birth to a sick child.
Fear of childbirth
This program item is outside our main list, but it would be wrong to discount it. This is indeed a very big problem in modern society. This is even evident from the statistics of my blog - the article on fear of childbirth is one of the most visited on the blog. So I won’t rant too much and will immediately give you a link to it:
Three insights that helped me get rid of the fear of childbirth
Well, dear readers, have I managed to convince you that having children is not so scary? Let's discuss this in the comments. If you are afraid to have children, that’s normal, because it’s a serious matter! Write what scares you most? What would you like to ask me, as a person who is on the other side of the crossing? ))
Why is there a fear of giving birth to a sick baby?
Anxious feelings appear in pregnant women for various reasons:
- awareness that if a pathology is diagnosed, the mother cannot influence the course of events in any way;
- sad experience when the mother has already encountered some problems while carrying a child (miscarriages, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth);
- in your social circle (friends or relatives), neighbors have children with genetic disorders;
- frequent illnesses of one’s own first and second child;
- poor health of the mother or father, the presence of chronic diseases;
- presence of bad habits before pregnancy (or while carrying a baby);
- genetic diseases in the family;
- age (mothers over 35).
All this causes fear and fear in the pregnant woman of giving birth to a sick child.
You become socially isolated after having a baby
And again - yes and no. The situation in which you have nothing to talk about with your childless friends (and your children with children are simply too busy to hang out) is typical. This doesn’t upset me very much, since I have been moving frequently for many years, changing jobs, due to which my social circle often changes. I’m used to finding new social circles and don’t see any problems in this.
It seems to me that a healthier social circle is formed around your interests and activities than in the sandbox. Although this is probably cool too. It just doesn't work very well for me. But I know that now there are a lot of local communities of mothers where you can find a company for walks, for example.
If you lead an active lifestyle, are interested in something, have a job or hobby, go to some sections, participate in charity or some social and political projects - that is, lead a full lifestyle, then isolation is for you definitely not a threat. Another question is that when you are with a child, this full-fledged lifestyle is no longer given to you as easily and naturally as before.
Why did pathology become widespread?
Pregnant women tend to dramatize the situation and take everything to heart. They begin to say “I’m afraid to give birth to a sick child” if they do not observe any signs during pregnancy (movement, proportional increase in weight, abdominal circumference). It happens that the doctors themselves intimidate the mother, telling her that if she did something wrong, the baby will be born with disabilities. As a result, fear is formed before childbirth for the health of the child.
There are cases when, during an ultrasound, mothers are told about suspicion of some pathology, but the baby is born absolutely healthy. But during pregnancy, a woman is haunted by a phobia.
Fears imposed by society also play a role. Many people are radical and condemn mothers who smoke and drink. Yes, the chance that the child will have abnormalities is higher, but this does not mean 100% that he will be sick.
Negative effects of nicotine in the second trimester of pregnancy
If the child develops without defects and ultrasound data confirms this, we can say that the mother is lucky.
The older the fetus, the less negative effects nicotine has on it. All systems and organs have already been formed, the child only has to grow. The placenta begins to suffer, it no longer provides normal nutrition, it becomes thinner, and areas of dead tissue appear. The child develops chronic hypoxia, receives less nutrients, and as a result, doctors diagnose intrauterine growth retardation. Of course, modern drugs and treatment methods can minimize the harm from smoking, but they are not always effective. Throughout the entire period of pregnancy, the risk of premature birth, oligohydramnios and weakness of labor remains. And although these conditions are pathologies of pregnancy, the child can also suffer. With pronounced oligohydramnios, for example, the bones of the fetus are often bent. In the third trimester, there is a high probability of late gestosis, which is fraught with placental abruption, emergency delivery and intrauterine fetal death. Complications during childbirth occur 2 times more often; in women who smoke, the uterus contracts worse, and bleeding occurs more often during and after childbirth.
Interesting Facts
According to statistics, 2,500 children with Down syndrome are born in Russia every year. 8 out of 10 children end up in orphanages because parents mistakenly believe that such children are incapable of development.
The baby in the womb is a passive smoker; the mother lives in an apartment where someone smokes. Thus, 1-2 packs of cigarettes per day, smoked in the presence of a pregnant woman, lead to the detection in the child’s urine of the amount of nicotine contained in 2-3 cigarettes.
Exposure of a pregnant woman to more than 100 units of X-ray can lead to miscarriage or serious fetal pathologies.
Fear of responsibility for a child
Many women are afraid of not coping with their maternal responsibilities. Mother and child are completely dependent on each other: the baby will not live without the mother’s care, and the mother will be forced to adapt to the child’s needs. Many are afraid that they will not be able to tolerate sleepless nights and children's crying.
In fact, everything is not as difficult as it seems. First of all, you won't be alone. Responsibility for the baby’s health falls on the shoulders of both parents; your beloved man will help you. There are also grandparents who are just waiting for an invitation to babysit the baby. There are doctors who visit and monitor the child’s condition and give advice on care and development. Yes, your baby will cry sometimes, but you will quickly learn to recognize the reasons for the crying and meet your baby's needs. Waking up for night feedings is difficult only in the first days, then your body will adapt to the baby’s periods of sleep and wakefulness, and you will not experience discomfort.
Many people are afraid that they will not be able to be good mothers. They will not be able to raise them with dignity and ensure a happy childhood. To become a good mother, you just need to love your child; this love will help you do everything to make your child happy.
How to deal with mental illness
What should a mother do if she admits: I’m afraid that the child will be born sick? How to deal with a phobia? Here are some tips:
- Don't cost any groundless guesswork. If you do not have any suspicions, indications or research analyzes confirming the presence of pathology, then drive negative thoughts away.
- Learn more about the course of pregnancy and the condition of the baby in the womb: visit a doctor, undergo routine examinations, take tests. Ultrasound, screening studies, Doppler measurements - all these procedures make it possible to identify deviations in the early stages and correct them.
- Assess your health status; if there are problems in you or in your family, tell your doctor. As a last resort, he will prescribe amniocentesis for you. Coordinate your medication intake with your healthcare team.
- Do not believe in folk omens, they are not confirmed by anything.
- Stop saying: I'm afraid that the child will be born with disabilities. Think positively.
How to remove the fear of childbirth yourself
There are several more tips that will help remove fear without the help of psychologists. To begin with, you can ask the doctor to agree on a partner birth. They may be attended by a mother or husband. Relatives will help you overcome fear during contractions and the birth process itself. You can agree with the doctor whom the woman trusts to deliver the baby.
It is recommended to enroll in special birth classes. They will tell you how to breathe correctly to reduce pain during contractions. A month or a little more in advance, you need to prepare a bag for the hospital, where everything necessary for the child and mother will be packed. This way the woman is insured in case labor starts a little earlier than expected. It is not recommended to take sedatives. Pregnant women are contraindicated to take the pills without a doctor's prescription.
Frequently asked questions and expert answers
I’m afraid to give birth to an unhealthy child because my relatives have children with disabilities, what should I do?
The presence of disabled people or children with any genetic diseases in the family inevitably creates a fear in a pregnant woman of giving birth to a sick baby. First of all, you need to find out what the probability of deviations is in your case. If you are still at the planning stage, then research your family and in-laws, contact a geneticist. If there is no reason for concern (ultrasound and screenings of the pregnant woman are good), then devote yourself to preparing for birth, do not think about the bad.
There are smokers in my family, I myself have this bad habit, so I am afraid of giving birth to a sick child due to smoking.
Your fears are not in vain. Indeed, when the mother smokes, the organs of the embryo experience oxygen deficiency. Also, mothers who smoke often give birth to low-weight children who lag behind their peers in development. Under the influence of chemical compounds and nicotine, it can change the genetic material, and this can be detected both after the birth of the baby and several years later, even in your grandchildren. It is believed that children of parents with bad habits are more likely to become drug addicts and alcoholics. But we must remember that each case is individual. Monitor your health during pregnancy, visit your doctor and follow his instructions.
Babies are sure to cry at night
No, not necessarily. This can be avoided by putting your baby to sleep next to you in the parent's bed. Future parents usually doubt whether it is safe for the child? The answer is yes, it is safer than sleeping separately.
Firstly, because nature does not provide for the baby to sleep separately from its mother. After all, at night the baby needs to suckle milk, warm up and feel protected. If he is deprived of all these things, the child will most likely cry, thereby giving an adequate signal for help.
Secondly, it has been scientifically proven that such a terrible scourge as sudden infant death syndrome threatens to a lesser extent those who sleep with their parents. While the fear of running over a child in a dream is not supported by statistics - such cases, if they exist, can only be associated with severe alcohol intoxication, for example.
As for my daughter Eva, who is now almost two years old, she has never cried at night, that is, not at all, not a single night in her life. I 100% attribute this to the practice of co-sleeping.
A parent's nightmare. Why does a child cry at night?
