Man and woman. Sex, sleep, food – and romance: what to whom?

Gender holidays in February and March set the mood for romance. And now it’s not enough for a woman that a man simply exists in her life - she suddenly dreams again: “so that he doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke,” and so on down the list. What should you really expect from the stronger sex? And what words should we use to express these expectations in order to get at least something? What do men and women want - and how can these desires be reconciled?

Why are we so different? Why do psychologists, philosophers and even film directors constantly strive to find out what the opposite sex wants and thinks? Yes, the basics are clear to everyone. We are controlled by different hemispheres of the brain. Men are rational, women are emotional (however, of course, there are exceptions to this rule).

An experiment conducted in mixed training groups is very indicative. The psychologist says the word “lemon” and asks about the associations that arise. 90% of women see a picture or taste it, and men see a ticker with the word “lemon” appear before their eyes.

Men are comfortable living according to plan, distributing everything point by point. The word that terrifies them is “guess.” They don’t know how (and sometimes don’t want) to guess; it’s easier for them to get a list of your wishes.

Women's tears are also a real punishment for them. Why do tears make them angry? Because there is nothing rational about them! When a man sees a woman’s tears, he has two options: rush to save (but you still have to find someone to save from, and women don’t always have this anti-hero) or get angry.

What irritates the “weaker sex” in men? The first point is completely irrational: women want romance, lightness, emotionality - that is, everything that, if given to men, is only during the period of an “altered state of consciousness,” which sometimes includes the period of intense love, when a woman needs to be conquered.

Secondly, women want their partner to be able to quickly change from the role of breadwinner and conqueror to a respectable family man: he comes home and immediately becomes “kind and fluffy.” But the rational hemisphere does not give men the opportunity to instantly switch; they need a pause.

That, in principle, is all the secrets. No, just kidding: of course, there are a little more of them.

What is rationalism in its classical sense?

There is a question and an answer to it. A problem and its solution, which can be found with the help of reason. There is nothing immaterial or not created for understanding in this world, since the entire Universe is material. This is roughly how rationalism can be described. This is a kind of installation for a follower who evaluates the surrounding space solely as questions and answers. He tries to comprehend what is happening, guided by his mental consciousness.

Also, rationalism is the predominance of the arguments of reason over naked conviction. In fact, this idea is at the origins of philosophy, designed to explain to a reasonable person how the world works. Rationalism often manifested itself in the nature and behavior of great mathematicians and physicists, who are precisely engaged in dividing and systematizing the surrounding space, making it possible to understand and accept it.

Example of Stoic Thinking

Marcus Aurelius is a great Roman emperor. The last of the "five good emperors". He spent most of his reign on the borders of the empire, protecting it from enemies. Went through two major wars. Despite many problems, he led the empire with dignity and did not lose his mind in the most difficult situations. Stoicism helped him in this. Marcus Aurelius perfectly illustrated the theme of rationalism in his Meditations:

From Apollonius, independence and calmness before the game of chance; so that even for a moment you don’t look at anything except your mind, and always be the same - in acute pain, or having lost a child, or in a long illness.

How can you be calm in such terrible situations? Let's take a closer look at the quote. An important point is “calmness before the game of chance.” It actually answers our question. Everything that happens around is a chain of events, fate, if you like. We as humans have no control over these events, so why worry about them? We can only control ourselves and our attitude towards these events. If something bad is still likely to happen or has already happened, isn't it wiser to maintain rational thinking rather than give in to emotions?

If we are talking specifically about stopping worrying (and therefore acting unreasonably) in routine life, then preparation is necessary. That is, you need to be prepared for any vicissitudes of fate. Then there will be no “surprise”, which means that emotions will remain under control.

In the morning, tell yourself in advance: I will meet the vain, the ungrateful, the impudent, the cunning, the greedy, the unsocial. All this happened to them out of ignorance of good and evil.

Of the many philosophical trends, it is Stoicism that is most applicable in everyday life. With its help, we can learn to control our minds and make informed decisions in difficult situations. But this is the basis of rational thinking.

The essence of rationalism

A rational person is not a fanatic or a follower of a cult. The movement itself does not have the characteristic features of an idea suitable for forming a circle of followers. It can be said that rationalism is a course that a person can choose consciously. True, one who is convinced of the reign of reason over the irrational desire to give this or that thing an intangible and inexplicable nature is able to do this.

You should not attribute negativism to rational thinking, because this is not the case. A supporter of this worldview does not deny the fact, but tries to find an explanation for it using reason. Rational and irrational people are avid opponents in debate. Some supporters of the second camp even point to Kant, mistakenly believing him to be a rationalist who accepted the fact that the inexplicable exists. However, irrationalists should not be confused with ordinary fanatics.

What is rational thinking

Rational thinking is different in that to process information a person uses only facts and their chains, logical conclusions. This form of thinking is simply irreplaceable in the field of finance, politics, law, economics, analytics and many other areas.

What characterizes a rational way of thinking?

• Clarity of thinking.
• Logical conclusions.
• Fact-based generalizations.
• Sequence detection.
• Analysis.
• Thinking through the steps and only then taking them.

In the rational way of thinking, everything is subject to strict logic. There is always cause and effect, there is a connection confirmed by facts in everything.

What do rationalists think they are?

Often these are people whose activities are directly related to the thought process. The characteristics of a rational person are an open mind, an inquisitive mind, a willingness to learn new things, and a passionate desire to gain knowledge. They are skeptical about the truisms imposed by society and question any fact that has not been proven, for example, by a mathematical theorem, that is, in a way that can be repeated.

Often rationalism awakens in perfectionists, since both of them are not satisfied with a certain object, or rather its nature, in the existing picture of the world. In an attempt to restore their balance, they strive at any cost to characterize the object, which sometimes causes misunderstanding among more creative people who perceive the environment as it is, without asking questions.

Why is rationality needed?

A rational person throughout his life tries to look for optimal solutions to problems. That is, find options that do not require large financial investments, physical and moral strength. To do this, he uses personal experience, calculations, logic and the possible final result in each of the options.

If we consider rationality as a quality of personality , then it manifests itself during the agreement of the mind with the information received, the decision made, the analysis of the adoption of a suitable option, the constructed logical structure and the validity of the option.

For example, we can cite bankers who constantly risk money due to insufficient information about their clients. Moreover, all their actions can be called a reasonable risk. In order to minimize monetary losses due to possible risks, bankers use methods that have been proven over the years, analyze markets, and calculate the potential of their clientele.

What defines rationalism?

There are several key factors that determine whether an individual belongs to a given idea of ​​​​viewing the world. A rational person is a researcher, he is open to new ideas and considers any knowledge to be a key goal of human development. In his understanding, skills and information cannot be good or bad; they exist to concretize and clarify the world. Those who are constantly thoughtful tend to be rational. From the point of view of this idea, thought determines consciousness and the material environment, and therefore is dominant. A rational person is a person with a huge horizon, who is ready to comprehend new things, regardless of circumstances and his own age.

Rational consumer behavior

Consumption is the acquisition and use of goods and services to satisfy needs. A consumer is a citizen who purchases and uses various goods for personal needs. Rational economic behavior of the consumer consists in thoughtful actions to achieve maximum benefit under existing restrictions. Every person has desires, needs, goals - these factors are primary in his economic activity. The rational behavior of an individual includes the following stages:

• awareness of your need for acquisition;
• studying information about it;
• analysis of various options;
• choice.

In his choice, a person is guided by the right to freely dispose of financial resources, which is called consumer sovereignty. A number of other factors influence consumer choice:

• desires and preferences;
• fashion;
• rarity of goods;
• period of use of the product;
• moral, cultural, religious norms.

A person is always in a situation of a limited amount of available resources, which determines the need to make a choice. Consumer freedom is also limited by the prices and range of goods and services. A rational person is able to:

• to goal setting;
• to cost-benefit analysis;
• to achieve maximum benefit.

There are 2 types of rational consumer behavior:

• subordinated to personal interests, taking into account benefits and costs;
• dictated by a momentary goal, occurring immediately at the moment of choice.

The basis of rational economic behavior is control over expenses and their correlation with income. Consumer spending is divided into mandatory and discretionary. The first ones are intended for basic human life support: buying food, clothing, medicine, paying for transport, etc. The latter go towards acquiring goods without which a person can exist. The income of an individual is cash or material assets received as a result of his activities. The ratio of mandatory and discretionary expenses with available income determines the standard of living of people in the country. A person’s standard of living depends not only on the size of his income and savings, but also on how reasonable and consistent he is in his spending.

Principles of rationalism

The movement is largely formed thanks to certain cornerstones laid by its researchers and founders. In the case of rationalism, such a foundation is its principles:

• Knowledge is obtained by reason. Any information or skill must be comprehended by the human mind. In fact, knowledge is a product of the study of a particular object by the thought of an individual. It's priceless. It is knowledge that is the main value of supporters of rationalism.
• The world is material. Rationalists believe that the entire world around us is material and suitable for knowledge. Objects distant from humanity are only things hidden from thought, but they can be recognized by using new knowledge. Thus the cycle of knowledge is closed. Therefore, some people call rationalism an endless race for knowledge for the sake of information itself, and not for a higher goal.
• Science comes first. Everything in this world can be identified and studied using scientific instruments. Rationalists put science as the only possible way to understand ourselves and the world.
• The “spiritual” does not exist without the material. In this case, spirituality means, for example, a sense of beauty or good taste. They are a product of human mental perception, which, in turn, is based on the thought process, the mind, which is material in nature.
• Morality is a product of the material, since it is designed to prohibit and prevent damage to an object capable of generating thought.

Rational people are often disciplined and rely heavily on their reason. You should not expect support from them in spiritualism or occultism; a supporter of this movement simply will not understand the speaker. However, as mentioned earlier, rationalists are open to new knowledge.

The role of rationality in our lives

The way we think is the same way we structure our actions. If our thoughts are chaotic, so will our actions. Irrational fears give rise to panic, which takes over all thoughts - and we act based on these fears, and not on facts that may indicate something completely different.

Example. A person can look great, have a well-spoken speech and excellent diction, be able to speak in public - and be terrified of twisting his ankle when going on stage. Although he had no previous such experience and his physical condition does not suggest anything like that. This is irrational thinking.

Why does one person achieve success, while another fails in everything he undertakes? Oddly enough, the secret is in thinking.

The ability to think rationally is simply necessary for a successful business. What will help you move up your career ladder is not chaotic actions based on signs and fears, but clear planning, observation, the ability to draw conclusions from observed facts, and viewing the situation from different angles.

Important

A rational approach allows you to more accurately and deeply understand the world around you, the people in it and the processes taking place.

Thoughtful, concentrated work, a comprehensive assessment of the problem, calculation of the situation will make your business successful, protected from most destructive accidents, you simply will not give them a chance, having rational thinking!

Flow Basics

Most researchers agree on where exactly rationalism appeared. Its founder was Socrates (approximately 469-399 BC, Ancient Greece), who called for knowing yourself before exploring the world. Although he was not a convinced supporter of the worldview, he nevertheless formed its foundations. Later, the idea of ​​rationalism was brought to its logical conclusion by scientists Descartes, Leibniz, Spinoza, supporters of the exact sciences and who introduced a certain factor of orderliness into their fields. The Age of Enlightenment is considered the period when rationalism came to the fore. Man gained the ability to think about the sublime and engage in research, since he was no longer in a constant search for food or trying to survive. This paved the way for science.

Irrational thinking

“That guy has an eye for money.” What kind of “sense” is this? Well, he intuitively understands how to make money. After reading the previous chapter, we think rationally, and this explanation does not suit us. We'll figure it out ourselves.

Intuition itself can be understood as an unconscious guide to facts. This is the main difference from rationalism. Irrational thinking covers the surface, barely looking deeper. The mind does not indulge in florid reasoning. This is done unconsciously, and therefore it often seems to a person that he is acting “on instinct.” This kind of thinking is often called feeling. It is emotions, not logic, that become the driving force of thought.

We often think that a person performs some actions without reason or logic. Such a person is labeled “irrational.” However, nothing happens easily, and everything happens for a reason. It’s just that an “irrational person”’s thinking operates superficially, in express mode. Because of this, reasoning and logic can become distorted. But since this is done unconsciously, it is not always possible to understand these tricks of consciousness.

Contrast with empiricism

Despite the fact that the ideas of rationalism and empiricism cannot be opposed in their primary form, supporters of these two worldview ideas often enter into confrontation regarding the methods of understanding the world. So, for example, rationalists advocate giving an object a qualitative characteristic based only on the thought process, while an empiricist must touch, try, experience it. The opposition of thought to experience is illogical, but it still occurs. Leibniz himself directly notes in his work “Monadology”:

“We are all three-quarters empiricists.”

This indicates that proponents of rationalism are often empiricists and vice versa.

How to check the degree of development of rational thinking in yourself?

The role of thinking in cognition
Usually, it is not difficult to check how developed rational thinking is. There is no particular need to check it, but this will allow you to get a more accurate and reliable result. You can take several tests yourself. Standard surveys from Eichenk, Raven, Vanderlik for development and others are suitable for this.

There are also several more specific techniques.

• Definition of objects . Any real objects are suitable for the method. For example, even a pen. That is, whatever comes to mind. Next, it is assessed which of the properties more accurately characterize the object and distinguish it from others. Highlight everything essential and exclude the unimportant. You should have a unified system. After classification, create a complete concept and check it in the dictionary. If you get the result without any difficulties, then you definitely have well-developed rational thinking.
• Logic tests . There are a huge number of them. In addition, you can solve logic problems. There are not very few of them either. It is best, of course, to do this all under the supervision of a specialist. An excellent way to diagnose is a conversation in which you need to argue your own opinion. You can approach the question differently and write an essay.

Kant's contribution

Supporters of Kant's ideas are probably aware that this philosopher began as a rationalist. Later, he transformed the classical idea of ​​knowing the world through thought and experience into something unified - transcendental idealism. In his understanding, determining the nature of an object using reason and experience are complementary concepts that serve a single purpose - the search for knowledge. He created the definition of “thing in itself,” which means an object that cannot be defined and characteristics cannot be assigned to it. Moreover, such a subject should not be studied. He believed that the work of the mind begins when thought reaches the threshold of the known.

Love is like a miracle

The happiness of those who believe in love as a miracle will be completely different. Or as in divine providence. In this case, it does not matter whether a person is suitable for me or not in terms of his habits, interests, or even temperament. Something else matters, something else, unknowable, we connect with a person forever. It has no statute of limitations and cannot be changed. This is the great secret of love.

In such relationships there are more feelings, more joy simply from the fact that a loved one exists in the world, but there is always more pain, in them both participants are infinitely vulnerable and open to sadness, sadness, and despair to a much greater extent. These are the relationships about which you can sometimes hear: “It’s better to be with her/him like this, with conflicts and torment, than with someone else without conflicts.” When people encounter such love, they often think that it alone can lead them to true happiness. And they often lose it, because to stay in such a relationship and not be destroyed, you need a lot of personal maturity.

This love does not think about how to get more from a partner, does not measure its feelings on scales. It is directed at someone else.

This love has a rather bad reputation because it is often confused with love addiction. But the difference is significant: when you are in the grip of addiction, you cannot stop the relationship, even if there is no respect in it, even if the partner repeatedly violates your psychological or physical integrity. You don't leave because you can't live without the other. Love works differently: if you love a person who brings you a lot of pain and your vitality is running low, you can leave him, and this does not mean that your love is over. “I love you and that’s why I’m leaving you, taking my love with me,” sometimes this happens. Only love can do this.

Understanding the Worldview

Becoming a rational person is not so easy. You need to work hard for this. The result largely depends on the individual’s acceptance of the worldview of this category of people. The signs of a rational person are not height, weight or temperament type. It is also important to understand that this is not a cult - a rationalist, for example, can be a teacher, a miner, a businessman, or even a janitor who reads works on biology at night. These people do not seek recognition; their true Grail is the understanding of all things, infinite knowledge, the characteristics of all objects. It is extremely difficult to learn this; in addition, the process involves abandoning previously accepted truths. A rational person is one who questions everything, including his own knowledge.

Marriage of convenience - a socio-economic union

But in fact, throughout the existence of marriage as a social and economic institution, people married for love quite rarely. If, during all these millennia, men and women started families solely out of love, out of the very love that books and songs taught us to dream about, we would have died out long ago.

As soon as people began to acquire property and register it “according to the law,” marriage appeared as a form of economic and economic cooperation between two families. In this situation, love in marriage, of course, was not condemned and was completely accepted. But no one paid any special attention to her. “If you endure it, you will fall in love,” our ancestors said. Bearing in mind, among other things, that love in marriage, in a family is the result, the result of coexistence, and not its source.

And this is the happiness of a rational approach to love. When a person is committed to this approach, he does not wait for epiphanies, a sudden fateful meeting forever. He is ready to try different relationships, is ready to look at the chosen one with a sober look, trying to understand what will be good in living together with him, and what will not be so good, what can be put up with, and what positions are better not to give up.

Men are emotional, women are rational

When we deal with any data, our gut instincts, life experiences, common sense and stereotypes often lead us to false conclusions. We must be able to change our minds based on evidence.

We have somehow become accustomed to the fact that women are more emotional and less rational than men. But based on the behavioral data we've been studying lately, it's men who are more emotional and more likely to be swayed by brand messages that promote self-love.

Women, on the contrary, are more practical and pay attention to price. (The data examines people's buying behavior when it comes to purchasing overpriced consumer goods.)

Rational inference?

So we can conclude that men are more emotional than women? Of course not. But we also cannot say the opposite.

These findings lift the lid on human behavior and show that behavior is complex and varies across time and context. Modern life is complex and unpredictable. There are no easy answers, and there are always more questions.

This data is like a torch in a large, dark room. This data sheds light on the problem, but at the same time it can lead to misinterpretation and, moreover, it is impossible to understand the overall picture of the cases due to its complexity and the huge number of small details and hidden depths.

But it is still much better to go into this dark room of human behavior with a torch in hand than blind instincts.

Of course, instincts can also be useful if they are “trained”. Instinct represents repeated behavior in a repeating situation, which has already become a habit and the behavior has become automatic. Instincts work well in an environment that does not change significantly. But instincts can be dangerous and misleading in a rapidly changing, unpredictable environment. Like the modern world: unpredictable, often random, extremely complex.

Data helps you make hypotheses

To succeed in today's world, you need to use data to formulate hypotheses and then test those assumptions, and constantly change and evolve them based on new data.

We need a new type of thinking where the focus is on “how” to learn something, rather than “what” to learn. It is impossible to have an idea of ​​everything. Instead, we should strive to have the means, methods and contacts of others to get answers, knowing that the right answer to a question today may not be so right tomorrow.

The danger for all of us is that our knowledge and instincts, acquired through past life experiences, can serve as obstacles to a clear understanding of the present. Forget about the future. Those who try to predict the future are fools trying to find even greater fools to believe them. At best, we can have a rough idea of ​​the general direction of affairs, and we must be prepared to continually adapt our understanding as circumstances change.

Over the course of your life, you will learn that what you confidently accepted as truth is not true at all. True wisdom lies in accepting your ignorance and accepting new facts, and not rejecting them just because it contradicts your usual thinking. The gold mine of our time is data, and the data seekers and interpreters are the people who will pave the way to the future.

Free translation of the article Men Are Emotional, Women Are Rational from CMS Wire

What will you choose?

This version of love is not in high esteem these days. It is compromised by novels, romances, pop songs and, in general, the entire culture. We don’t like to suffer, we don’t want to live for the sake of someone, we want more comfort and happiness for ourselves. And to tell the truth, such love is quite rare. How rare is everything that requires talent. Not everyone who loves to draw and even becomes a professional artist is a genius. So not every one of us, capable of warm and trusting relationships, is capable of that love that endures everything and expects nothing in return.

Two types of love - two ways to be happy next to another person. Both can (and often do) lead to happiness. And all we need is to understand what we are looking for, what kind of love is ours. And don’t complain about fate if our love is not the same as it is shown in novels, and not the same as it is described in psychology textbooks.