We made a cult out of things
Lamborghinis on Wall Street, celebrity bags from Louis Vuitton, mansions where successful people live. The list goes on.
We fool ourselves into thinking that the only thing that determines happiness is the make of our car or the number of zeros in our bank account. We put financial success on a pedestal and convinced everyone to share these beliefs.
In a society that idolizes material values, life turns into a useless, endless journey.
The key to happiness is not spending money and time on things. The key to happiness is investing money and time in your life experiences.
MasterCard speaks the truth: "There are some things you can't buy."
How to avoid the influence of other people's negative experiences
Unfortunately, you won’t be able to completely distance yourself from other people’s negative experiences, because... Every person has both positive and negative experiences. By the way, most people tend to concentrate on the negative aspects of their lives.
The only way to avoid the harmful influence of other people's negative experiences is to change your attitude towards other people's opinions. Never prove anything to anyone, because... This is your opinion and your life, and each person has his own. Today it is especially important to be yourself and not adopt the way of thinking of other people.
Our experiences define us
In December, while on a trip to Hawaii, I attended a ten-day meditation course. It was the hardest yet most enlightening experience I've ever had; I've never felt such a close connection between my mind and body before. More importantly, it pushed me to change my life and fulfill my dream of leaving the company I joined last year and moving to New York.
Every experience brings with it a mistake or a triumph, as well as an understanding of one's own personality. Experience helps us sort out our thoughts, understand what kind of people we want to be around, and ultimately find what makes us happy.
At the end of the journey, it doesn’t matter how many days there were in your life. What matters is how much life there was in your days.
Abraham Lincoln, American statesman, 16th President of the United States
We live in a society where material things are the highest value. We love being able to hold what we buy in our hands. This happens because things are linked to a currency, which dictates its value in the market.
It is impossible to physically feel the experience of cliff diving on a Sunday afternoon. The situation is exactly the same with our first experience of fighting with partners: we cannot sell it.
If we could sell our own experience at the price we got it for, we'd all be millionaires.
Abigail Van Buren (Pauline Phillips), 20th century American journalist and radio host
We accumulate everything we have ever seen, heard, tasted and felt. This is an experience that teaches us not to count hours in a tiny office, but will lead to a breakthrough business idea.
In other words, experience brings with it life lessons. Material assets do not bring anything, but they bill us.
A person becomes more complex over time. He reads, travels, communicates with people. All this leaves an imprint and changes your attitude towards life. I imagine an optical device in which a new lens is added every year. Half a century later, the world is seen through him differently than in childhood. A person gains life experience - a precious substance.
Many people have no life experience. It is there, but passive, which itself is formed during aging. You can imagine a house that you built from what you found under your feet.
Every new book, lecture, trip, article, conference, music record, every new unusual activity increases your life experience. This is an inevitable and uncontrollable process. We pinch off whatever we like and add it to ourselves. Thus, as a person grows up, he becomes the sum of everything he loved in life.
When entering the School of Trainees, the Gorbunov Bureau is asked to familiarize itself with professional books. If the applicant reads them, he will change in the right way and will be ready to study. In Samuel Delaney's novel Babylon 17, earthlings studied an alien language. This language developed thinking, but turned a person into an ally of hostile aliens.
Rich life experiences don't just show up in interesting stories or blog posts. It influences everything a person does. An experienced designer, store clerk, airplane pilot, or editor does work differently than an inexperienced one. It's not even a matter of direct professional skills, honed by practice. Life experience gives a special philosophy, a special attitude to business. An experienced person is resistant to criticism; he perceives failures differently and sees more opportunities for development. In his head is a set of tools that he stole from a bunch of places. It was bad to steal, but he himself did not know that he was stealing.
When they say about a person that he is good in bed, they do not mean the speed of movements of the buttocks or the ideal halos of the nipples. They mean some special magic: a sparkle in the eyes, a sense of humor, facial expressions, and something else that cannot be described in words. You can’t learn all this in courses; you can only live up to it, grow over time.
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There are ways to organize life's baggage. But if there is no luggage, then there is nothing to organize. So it is with the text and editing. There is an informational style, but it will not help a person without life experience. Aspen trees will not produce oranges.
Here, for example, is the release of the Megaplan newsletter about the ability to listen.
I must admit that such an unconvincing release is an exception for the Megaplan newsletter. Unsuccessful articles can be counted on the fingers of a turner.
This is a good text. It is well structured, all safe words are on a short leash. The writer controls the reader's attention. But I don't believe this article. I don’t feel the author has enough life experience to teach me. Why should I listen to him?
If the author lacks life experience, the reader will sense it. In this case, it is better to rely on someone else’s (for example, a book).
And here is an essay by Maria Stepanova about the phenomenon of Vladimir Vysotsky.
Such text cannot be repeated, copied, or written based on motives. It’s just not possible, my little soul is too short. In addition to letters, it also contains thousands of books read and years of a richly lived life.
This is fifteen minutes of concentrated reading torture. A canvas of text, thinly diluted with callout blocks of quotes. Inside there is some unknown mechanism made of letters, it moves, breathes and lives its own life. This article cannot be understood the first time; only after the fifth attempt do you barely begin to understand what is written here.
However, this is a wonderful text, it is like dark Swiss chocolate. It is written by a life-experienced author for a life-experienced reader. The author did not even think about simplifying and editing it, because it is not necessary here.
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Information style is a wonderful thing. With its help, anyone can create a concise text that will show the benefits and will not distract. However, in infostyle, an editor with life experience will write a better text than an editor without it. It’s the same with a designer, journalist, PR person, and indeed any person in any business.
If you want to do your job well, develop as a person. Read, travel, watch and listen to the most different things. Don't be shy to meet new people, even those who seem uninteresting.
Paustovsky was right:
When you wander, you grow rapidly, and everything you see is reflected even in your appearance. I recognize people who have traveled a lot from thousands. Wanderings purify, intertwine meetings, centuries, books and love.
Experience stays with us
What are our most pleasant memories? I remember not the gifts I received for the holidays, but the guests who came to my birthday, or the smell of hot chocolate on Christmas morning. I remember my first cycling lesson with my brother and my first date, which, by the way, went horribly. This is what brings a smile to my face to this day.
The main disadvantage of investing in things is their limited shelf life.
When we buy a thing, not only does its value on the market decrease, but after a while we cease to feel its value. The situation is completely different with experience. It is emotionally durable and can be multiplied as we develop throughout our lives. At any moment, the experience remains with us.
According to research, more than 80% of people more often remember their mental purchases than those actually made. This means that experience brings us happiness not only at the moment we acquire it, but also when we simply think about it.
The only experience you need
Training by Yuri Burlan “System-vector psychology”
is a way to see events through different eyes - not only through your own understanding, but also through the perception of other participants. And this means the ability to forgive and let go, stop focusing on past experiences and start a completely new life.
Understanding yourself and others changes your perception of reality. It's very simple! Literally at first glance, a person with knowledge of system-vector psychology can give the most accurate description of this or that person, describe his characteristics, desires, his way of thinking, type of intelligence and even type of sexuality.
What are his thoughts? What desires? How will he behave in a particular situation? How and what to talk to him about? Is it worth building a long-term relationship with him? Or is it better to be on guard to avoid getting into trouble? A person who has completed Yuri Burlan’s “System-Vector Psychology” training can answer these and many other questions literally at the first meeting or even virtual contact.
By accumulating experience in recognizing the vector set of others, a person stops making mistakes, and therefore stops accumulating bad experience. Uncertainty, stiffness, and shyness dissipate like smoke. False expectations will fall into oblivion. Scandals and misunderstandings will gradually fade away.
The training participants left more than 21,300 reviews, almost all of them about the acquired skill of living among other people:
“For the last year and a half I have lived in constant tension, with suicidal thoughts, constant fears, anxieties, panic attacks, not even knowing what it is and what to do about it... I tormented my man to such an extent that he left..
After I studied the free material, found Yuri Burlan and his website... after all the first level classes... Jealousy now no longer devours me from the inside, the fear of betrayal no longer controls me, grievances due to injustice do not spoil evenings with my loved one, understanding not wanting to have children does not make me a “strange” or normal woman anymore.. Yesterday I worked for the first time in a long time with an incredible “buzz”, completely immersed in the process. And I no longer felt terrible doubts and fears that my man might be cheating on me at this very moment.”
Yana F., Rome, Italy Read the full text of the result
How to gain experience
We give three tips that will help you give up things in favor of impressions.
Change your financial priorities
If we want to have a real experience, we must set priorities to adjust the budget to the adventures that lie ahead of us. It's as simple as saving up for a TV instead of going to South America.
Think about what you really need and what you need seriously and for a long time. In reality, we need very few material things to enjoy life. Learn to be rational when buying things: one day saving change will help you gain an experience that will change everything.
Say yes more often
As we become adults, we learn to make decisions, calculating risks, and thinking things through carefully. If we want more experience, we will have to push these principles into the background. The best adventures begin when you least expect them. Constantly telling yourself “what if” is a sure way to spend your entire life lying on the couch watching other people’s adventures.
Start saying yes. Learn to live in the present. The next time you have an opportunity to gain experience, ask yourself a simple question: “Will I regret if I don’t take advantage of this opportunity? Tomorrow, next week or next year? If the answer is yes or maybe, the adventure should also answer yes.
The future is uncertain. But you can manage it by thinking less and doing more.
Start with small (and cheap) adventures
Are you one of those people who watch the same movie several times in a row, walk the same paths to the same office, eat in the same restaurants?
You need a break from your daily routine. Be open to new experiences. Instead of going to your usual Italian restaurant near your office, try somewhere new.
The most valuable experience does not cost much. He's nearby. You just need to find it.
There are many negative reviews about everyday advice sites, but you will find such resources useful. Personally, I've tried everything from salsa dancing ($15 for ten classes) to medieval dinner cooking classes ($39) to flying lessons ($88). Coupon sites are the cheapest way to have incredible adventures with friends or on your own. Start taking a little risk. You'll be surprised how quickly it will grab you.
One day we will all die. But before that, let’s ask ourselves questions:
- Did I live?
- What do I regret?
- Did I experience everything I wanted to experience?
Only you can decide what is most important: the brand of car or adventure and freedom. But try to invest in things that will give you experiences, not bills. Your assets may be minimal, but your experience is rich.
Features of life experience
What does life experience give to an individual? First of all, the ability to always have a choice. Having a certain life experience, a person has enviable freedom: he decides for himself when and how to act. This is a wonderful advantage, because only a free person can be called fully accomplished and mature. In the absence of life experience, the individual will become lost and seek support from others. But the older we get, the easier it is to make decisions. Gradually, the individual gets used to taking responsibility and thinking about the consequences of his steps. What is included in the features of life experience? Let's take a closer look.
Personalized experience
One person's life experience is his indisputable truth. It does not always correspond to the ideas and worldview of other people. If for one the greatest value is family and children, then for another, career and growth through the ranks are extremely important. It would be wrong to blame your opponent for not meeting your expectations. The problem of understanding between people is that they do not want to give in to each other or accept a point of view different from theirs.
Life experience is the greatest good, spiritual wealth, which must be treated with extreme care. This treasure requires close attention and respect. Only a small percentage of people know how to appreciate what they actually have, and these are truly happy individuals. Life experience always contributes to the formation of a certain view of the world. This opinion is made up of those events that evoke a specific emotional response in the soul. Individualization of life experience emphasizes a person’s core values, how he makes decisions, and what kind of environment is around him. Individual people will derive different impressions from the same events and form individual life experiences.
Dependence on vivid impressions
In the process of learning about the world, we accumulate various impressions, which subsequently teach us to recognize information and divide it into components. This is facilitated by the presence of life experience. The habit of assessing current events is determined by certain life experiences. If since childhood a person has become accustomed to receiving kindness and warmth from loved ones, and has been surrounded by attention and affection, he will develop a positive attitude towards the surrounding reality. Otherwise, he will be forced to spend his entire life fighting imaginary “monsters” that exist only in his head.
Life experience creates dependence on impressions. Positive images have a positive effect on the individual: she learns to trust close people and the world as a whole. Life experience is necessary to form priorities. The attitude towards people and events around you also completely depends on life experience. The most important thing is to be able to accumulate a sufficient amount of bright and pleasant emotions in your heart. The more intense and positive they are, the more interesting the life experience itself will be.
