How to choose your goal in life?

What makes you get up in the morning and start getting things done quickly? What motivates you to overcome obstacles and achieve your goals? Why do you glow with happiness and why do your eyes begin to sparkle? Many people can easily answer these and other similar questions, and begin a conversation about their goals, dreams, plans for life and what they want to achieve. But, at the same time, there will be people who will think hard about the answer, but will not be able to say anything. The difference between these categories of people is that some are clearly aware of their purpose and have specific life goals, while others seem to be striving for something, however, both the meaning of their life and what they want to achieve look rather vague even for themselves.

Here we are not talking about such “goals” as earning money to provide yourself and your loved ones with everything you need, covering mandatory monthly expenses, new household appliances for your home, etc. All this is the urgent need of almost every person; his so-called vital necessity; something without which his life and everyday life will not satisfy even the most minimal requirements. Here we are talking about something more global; the fundamental direction of all actions performed in life; about what makes you grow, develop, work, work and achieve, despite any obstacles, and do it with pleasure, enthusiasm and inspiration. We are talking about specific life goals.

A little about not having a life goal

The desire to find your purpose and life purpose is inherent, perhaps, in all people. But often, under the influence of various factors and circumstances, such as, for example, upbringing, the worldview of parents, the influence of the environment, imposed beliefs and ideals, the promotion of a certain lifestyle, way of thinking and everything that you need to have and want to have, lead to that people just lose themselves in all this. They seem to fall asleep, their whole life becomes unconscious and mechanistic, and their thinking becomes stereotyped and standardized. As a result, all questions concerning the meaning of life lose their relevance, fade into the background or are completely discarded as unnecessary.

If a person is still concerned about such topics, and he has not completely lost his individuality, selfhood and the feeling that he needs to strive for something or at least look for it, the answers to the questions posed above are often difficult to find, which often significantly darkens existence , creates a feeling of purposelessness of existence, becomes the cause of apathetic or depressive states.

The lack of a life goal has an extremely negative impact on a person’s life. This is the inability to fully reveal your personal and creative potential, and the duality of thinking and behavior, and the loss of interest in activities and in life in general, and real happy moments can be counted on one hand. You can endlessly analyze this topic piece by piece, but this is not what is important at all, but what is needed, and most importantly, you can come to an understanding of your true purpose and determine specific life goals.

Tools for achieving goals

Countdown

List the key steps in order from last to first. The question “What is needed to..?” will help with this. Determine the approximate deadlines for each stage so that you can check the plan later.

Example

Goal: October 2020 - housewarming in my own house, which I will build.

What do you need to celebrate a housewarming in the house that I will build? Interior decoration (September 2020).
What is needed for interior decoration to appear? Bring up communications (May 2020).
What is needed to carry out communications? Cover the roof (April 2018).
What does it take to cover a roof? Build walls (March 2018).
Lay the foundation (September 2020).
Select a construction contractor (June 2020).
Order a project (April 2020).
Find an architect (tomorrow).

So we come to the first step: write a post on social networks tomorrow and ask to recommend an architect.

Action every day

Take at least one action every day to achieve your goal. Even if you only have enough energy for one microtask, let it be done: decide on the color of the curtains, call the architect and discuss the date of the meeting.

Creating an Environment

Fill the air. Subscribe to thematic resources, meet and communicate with experts and experienced people, read, watch. This contributes to the accumulation of knowledge and helps not to forget about the goal.

It is ideal if loved ones support, encourage, and help. Specialists and experienced people can also provide moral support, not limited to just expertise.

Self-tuning

A method for those who do not deny that thought is material. Put yourself in the image you want. This could be a visualization of the goal: someone draws a goal, someone makes collages from their photographs and photographs of the goal. Someone practices the principle “Live as if you have achieved it”, models and cultivates the feeling that you have what you want.

Why do you need to look for your life purpose?

The question of finding a life goal, just like the previous one, is very voluminous and multifaceted. But despite this, it is always viewed exclusively in a positive way. When a person has a clear life goal, he lives with the understanding of what his time is being invested in, that he is on the path to realizing what he wants, and this path is the right one. The goal fills his entire existence with meaning, which means there is a place for harmony and happiness in life. Having a goal, a person knows specifically in which direction to move. Making any choice in everyday life becomes easier, it becomes much easier to separate the important from the unimportant and discard the latter without regret. There is always motivation, you don’t need to force yourself to do anything. And if efforts are made to overcome your weaknesses and correct your behavior, then this is training that allows you to develop willpower and become stronger, and certainly not violence against yourself, as happens when you do everything while gritting your teeth.

A life goal is something that fills both a person and his life. This is what allows a person to walk through life with a firm and confident gait with his head held high even in the most difficult moments. And this is what allows him to come to the meaning of his existence and see even the most familiar life in a completely new perspective, as well as change it.

But reasoning is reasoning. They are, of course, good, but they may remain just a theory. And this, unfortunately, is the worst thing that can happen to a person looking for his destiny. To avoid this, you should use several recommendations that not only facilitate the transition from thoughts to actions, but also greatly simplify the search for your purpose and goals to which you can safely devote your life.

Parable "About two wolves"

Once upon a time, an old Indian, sitting by the fire, revealed one vital truth to his grandson:

- You see, baby, there is a struggle in every person. This fight is very, very similar to the fight between two wolves. One wolf represents evil: envy, jealousy, regret, selfishness, greed, lies, and other bad qualities of a person... The other wolf represents good: peace, love, hope, care, kindness, loyalty, truth... And other good qualities of a person.

The little Indian, touched to the depths of his soul by his grandfather’s words, thought for a long time, and then asked:

- Grandfather, which wolf wins in the end? Bad wolf or good wolf?

The old Indian, smiling faintly, replied:

- Remember: the wolf you feed always wins.

How to realize your purpose and find life goals?

Without lengthy introductions, let's move straight to the consideration of these recommendations.

First, analyze your interests and hobbies. Approach this issue consciously and seriously. Determine what interests you most: what kind of literature do you prefer to read? Are you interested in documentary films and if so, what kind? What do you enjoy learning more and more about? It is likely that the answers to these questions will be able to set the right direction for subsequent searches. If you don't think you have any special interests, you will have to make an effort to find them. Your life's work is 90% related to your interests.
Analyze your free time activities: what do you do, what do you like to do, what do you want to do when you think about your free time? What would you do if you had more of this time? Surely your leisure time, unless, of course, it is “stupidly” watching television series or idle chatter on social networks, may be associated with your subconscious aspirations, talents, predispositions and goals. If you managed to find something like this, then think about whether there is an opportunity to somehow develop it and derive practical benefit from this activity?
Try to observe yourself, namely: observe what you notice around you. For example, you may often pay attention to other people's appearance or health, or you may be able to pinpoint the cause of a car breakdown. Perhaps with a keen eye you notice flaws in construction or repairs made in someone else’s house. What if you, without the appropriate education, easily find various errors in texts and know how to write and express your thoughts correctly, although you have never studied this? By observing yourself, you will most likely discover something in which you, without having deep knowledge, can be an expert. What is your activity now? Develop this idea further.
Make a list of 50 wishes. Include everything that comes to mind. Seems simple? Surprisingly, many people, after listings like: house, apartment, car, renovation, vacation, wedding, child, salary increase, new phone, new furniture and something like that, become confused. As a result, at most you can write 20-25 wishes. If you have the same situation, do not despair and write further - this will activate your creativity and the work of the subconscious. If you can easily write 50 wishes, increase the list to 100. It is the last and most “difficult” wishes that will largely reflect your global goals and life aspirations.
Monitor your conditions. In everyday life, a person is from time to time “covered” by waves of seemingly causeless inspiration and enthusiasm. Track these moments in your life and try to understand the reasons for their occurrence: some thoughts, actions, people. In many spiritual practices, inspiration is considered a sign that you are on the right path. Look for such signs constantly - they can lead you to the right “road”.
Practice meditation. Meditation is one of the most powerful spiritual practices. During meditation, the chaotic running of thoughts calms down, a feeling of calm, well-being and inner silence appears, which is perfectly suited for connecting with the subconscious. And, as you know, the subconscious knows and can do everything. As you practice, ask yourself questions without trying to answer, using your rational mind. Answers can come even after meditation - it could be an insight, a thought or image that came from somewhere in your head, a sensation in your body, a meeting with a person, or a book that “accidentally” fell at your feet. Strive for self-knowledge.
Visualize your future. Choose a quiet and peaceful place where you will not be interrupted for at least 30 minutes. Turn off phones, Skype, ICQ, Internet, etc. Sit down and take a comfortable position. Close your eyes, relax. Try not to be distracted by extraneous thoughts. Now begin to imagine your life in every detail, for example, in 5 years: where are you, where do you live, what kind of people are next to you, what are you wearing, what surrounds you at this moment, what do you have? Strive to keep your thoughts flowing calmly. There is no need to impose something on yourself and think in templates. Just surrender to the flow of your thoughts - where will it take you? The sharper and clearer the picture is, the closer you will be to finding a way to achieve its materialization. Do this procedure at least once every two days and over time you will begin to understand what you want and what you really need.

What more can be said? In fact, I would really like to continue to develop this topic and bring new ways of finding one’s purpose and life goals. A whole book could be written. But for obvious reasons, it is not possible to do this in this article. So all that remains is to summarize: the process of finding your life purpose and your purpose depends entirely on you. To find answers to the questions that concern you, you must find yourself, and this is a difficult, lengthy process, but very interesting and exciting. As has already been said, strive for self-knowledge, engage in spiritual practices, read interesting books and watch educational TV shows, be alone with yourself, listen to your inner voice, develop intuition, etc. You can combine all this, or you can do it separately.

And always remember that our only real enemies are despair, laziness and unwillingness to see beyond our own nose. Believe in yourself and your strengths, and also in the fact that your life goals are already very close to you!

You can comprehensively study this issue, better understand yourself and use the acquired knowledge for the purposes of self-development in the “Self-Knowledge” course. Join us!

We also recommend reading:

Storytelling
Where to start self-development?
Life strategy
15 Questions to Help You Find Purpose in Life
Finding your life mission
How to find your calling
3 Steps: How to Set a Goal and Achieve It
6 Creativity Killers
The system of human life values: types of values and formation of the system
How to review your progress over the past six months
How to find your calling and change your life for the better

Key words:1Self-knowledge

Wrong target

What does the concept of “incorrectly chosen goal” mean? It happens that you want to achieve a goal because it is the desire of other people. Or are you doing it to impress.

How to find your purpose in life?

Sometimes another indication of the wrong goal is the fact that you do not think about whether you will be able to achieve it. You can't just repeat another person's goal either.

Reading books.

It is difficult to think of a greater storehouse of information and experience than books. This universal source of knowledge does not lose its relevance even in the era of all kinds of gadgets and devices. Perhaps it is changing a little, keeping up with the trends of the time. Audiobooks, videos, and various mobile applications are appearing. But their essence remains unchanged - the accumulation and transmission of wisdom. Each person in one of the books will definitely come across a hint on how to find a goal in life. Which one exactly? It is impossible to answer. The more books you read, the faster the answers will be found. True, this will also raise new questions.

Solitude in nature.

City noise and bustle are bad helpers for a person who has decided to put his thoughts in order. To better understand yourself and understand how to find your purpose in life, it is often necessary to retire. It is advisable to do this somewhere in nature, at least outside the city limits. The location can be any, from a lake to a forest clearing. The main thing is that the environment is conducive to a leisurely train of thought and a clear dialogue with your inner voice. Why is this so important? The fact is that in the “concrete jungle” a person is surrounded on all sides by social stereotypes, norms, and rules. This fetters his personality and prevents him from becoming himself. A natural setting helps to remove the “mask” and penetrate the subconscious, which contains answers to all important life questions.

Stepping out of your comfort zone.

Sometimes, the lack of understanding of how to find a goal in life is due to the fact that it is outside the world known to man. To learn about it, you need to get out of your comfort zone and try something new and unusual. For example, sign up for a section, go to a training session, or get another job. Only by expanding the horizons of his worldview does a person learn to better understand himself. Let's say surfing is suitable for someone. And one of his goals in life will be to conquer the waves in all the oceans of the world. If he doesn’t try this activity, he will never understand what his calling is about.

The fight against commercialism.

Another important piece of advice in the search for purpose is to give up materialistic motives. Many, growing up, betray their interests and dreams in order to make money. They try on the roles imposed by society, gradually moving away from their own. A simple way to find a purpose in life is to imagine your favorite pastime if the issue of money did not exist at all. Let's say someone inherits a billion dollars. What will he start doing if he no longer has to go to his unloved job every day? The answer to this question will give you a hint in finding your life goals.

Among all the recommendations on how to find a purpose in life, it is impossible to choose one that is the most universal. Each of them is useful in its own way. You should try all the techniques. The larger their arsenal is used, the higher the chances of finding a goal that will inspire a person, give his life meaning and open the path to success.

Take the test: optimist or pessimist

What to do if the goal is achieved or not achieved

Regardless of the result, analyze it. What hindered you in achieving your goal, what helped? What inspired you, what provoked procrastination? What should you consider or improve next time?

Analysis and adjustment:

The goal was not achieved within the desired period. Review the deadlines and adjust them in accordance with the input data.
The goal is irrelevant. Perhaps interests, values, or life situation have changed. Adjust the goal or abandon it.
The goal is relevant, but priorities have changed. Life has made adjustments to plans; other issues require attention. Review the goal and timeline.

Don’t regret, don’t criticize yourself, analyze, look for cause-and-effect relationships, draw conclusions. Accept a situation that cannot be changed. It will be easier if you give your all along the way and enjoy the process. Even if things didn't work out, at least you had a great time. What's next on the list?

Overcoming complexes and phobias.

Society brings both benefits and harm to a person. Socialization is beneficial for the individual in terms of its development, but taboos, prohibitions and prejudices are definitely harmful. Fears and complexes arise in response to the negative influence of public opinion. It is during the period of suppression of the interests of the individual by his environment that a person runs the risk of becoming confused and going astray. Even after many years, having moved to a completely different place, he will still be carrying the yoke of his previous experience. To find a purpose in life, he will need to get rid of his “cockroaches in his head” and only then, having carried out a general “cleaning” in the subconscious, understand what he really wants.

Intuition.

One of the tools that the inner voice uses when trying to give a hint to a person is his intuition. If you listen to it, many things become clear, including how to find a purpose in life. This skill is present in every person, but the degree of its development differs. The good news is that the sixth sense can be trained and becomes stronger with regular use. Thanks to intuition, you can learn to predict events, feel other people, and at the peak of its development, also clearly understand your purpose. A person with developed intuition will enter exactly those doors behind which he is most expected, setting himself the most pressing tasks.

Take the intuition test