How to get rid of alcoholism: psychological dependence

“Tell me who your friend is, and I will tell you who you are,” is an old, hackneyed wisdom, but it will always be true, just as it was thousands of years ago. We all live in society and interact with others. Unwittingly, each of us adopts other people's habits and opinions, in turn influencing those around us.

Experts clearly understand that alcoholism is not just a serious disease, but a serious psychological and social problem. If only the heart of a particular person suffers from coronary disease, then a pathological addiction to alcohol necessarily affects relationships in the family, among friends, and in the work team.

The role of loved ones in the treatment of alcoholism is very important. The patient receives help in the clinic, but then returns to society. And he encounters the same people, life situations, and problems. Will he be able to find his place in this life or will he again try to “correct” reality with the help of alcoholic drinks? Much depends on the environment.

Here are some tips from psychologists for those who are constantly around someone with alcohol addiction.

Drunkenness

If we talk about alcohol as a habit rather than a disease, then it is more logical to call it drunkenness. It precedes alcoholism.

Drunkenness is the systematic but situational use of small doses of alcohol or the rare use of large volumes. This is a hobby, a habit that is traditional or ritual in nature. In fact, “drinking on holidays or weekends” is drunkenness. Or as it is also called, domestic drunkenness.

There is an expression “drink in moderation” or “culture of consumption”. In fact, you can either drink or not drink. In this case, there is no third option. So people are divided into non-drinkers, those who drink on holidays (they call themselves non-drinkers), and those who drink (they admit that they have this habit).

Among people who drink, it is customary to distinguish:

• withdrawal symptoms (drink 100 g of wine 2-3 times a year);
• casual consumers (from once every 2-3 months to 1-2 times a month, 50-150 g of vodka or another drink identical to this amount of vodka);
• moderate consumers (1-4 times a month, 100-300 g of vodka or similar alcohol);
• systematic drunkards (1-2 times a week, 200-400 g of vodka or similar alcohol);
• habitual drunkards (2 times or more during the week, 300-500 g of vodka or similar alcohol).

Well, the next stage is alcoholics. There is its own classification of stages. Alcoholism itself is included in the international classification of diseases. He is being treated by a narcologist and a clinical psychologist. For us, the psychological side of the issue is of interest: alcohol as a means of gaining psychological comfort and relieving mental stress.

Among those who understand and admit that alcohol on holidays or weekends is a habit, there are two more categories of people: those who are ready and those who are not ready to fight this habit.

People who drink, but are not alcoholics, do not experience cravings, do not wait for a new reason, and are not fixated on alcohol. They work productively all week and return to work after feasts without problems. But, naturally, even rare drinking sessions have their own risks and dangers. The body is also poisoned and damaged. In addition, a person often experiences mental anguish or “sorts out” the consequences of the weekend.

By the way, the feeling of shame caused by the consequences of everyday drunkenness can provoke the development of alcoholism. What does the dialogue from the famous work “The Little Prince” sound like: “Why do you drink? - Ashamed. - For what? - Because I drink. - And what are you doing? - Drink. - Why? “Because it’s embarrassing.”

This is actually why people decide to quit drinking. As in the case of smoking, dissatisfaction with one's behavior must reach a peak, something completely out of the ordinary must happen, or many small problems rooted in alcohol must accumulate.

As a rule, this is the stage of transition from drunkenness to alcoholism. We can talk about addiction when a person loses a sense of proportion and situation, loses control over alcohol; cannot stop, wait, return to work mode.

Interesting fact: only 2% of the population are non-drinkers. In medicine, non-drinkers are people who do not drink alcohol at all or who drink up to 100 grams of wine 2-3 times a year.

How to live with an alcoholic in the same apartment if he has recently become addicted?

If you want to save your relationship and family, then you don’t need to leave your husband. We need to help him. How? You need to burden him with household chores and not do his work. If the wife constantly goes shopping for groceries herself, picks up the children from kindergarten or school, and so on, then the husband will get used to it and will think: “How wonderful everything is. I can drink, my wife does everything for me.”

To avoid frequent drunkenness, you should load your husband with household chores.

Under no circumstances should you take on his responsibilities. If the husband has a task - to pick up the child or go to help the parents, then you should not take the initiative into your own hands. You need to trust him and if he is not yet a completely reckless person, then he can learn to control himself.

How to deal with your alcoholic husband? Advice from psychologists

1. Do not give in to your husband’s provocations, do not give him money, learn to say no. If your husband asks for money, arguing that he needs to repay a debt, and you understand that this money will be spent on drinking, then do not give it to him. Let him go and earn it himself. To earn money, he will have to work. And a drunk employee will be quickly fired, so the husband will have to go to work sober.
2. You can’t give in to your husband’s blackmail or threats. This is how husbands test the boundaries of acceptable behavior and the degree of blind love and endurance of their wives. If a husband tells his wife to pour him a glass of vodka, otherwise he will quit his job, then there is no need to follow his lead and do what he orders. Let him try to quit, but then he will have to look somewhere for money for the next bottle.
3. You cannot make concessions, exceptions, pamper him. If the spouses have an agreement that the husband does not drink at home on weekends or holidays, then there is no need to buy alcohol on such days, as if it were a sign of a kind gesture. This will be a reason for him to start drinking again.
4. There is no need to focus only on living with a drinking person. Each woman has her own preferences, desires, circle of friends and acquaintances. You need to learn to abstract yourself and take time for yourself. The more problems a wife solves with her drinking husband, the deeper she delves into this difficult situation. It becomes very difficult for her to comprehend what is happening, she begins to get nervous over trifles, quarrel with other relatives or acquaintances, and become depressed. By completely immersing herself in the problem of her husband’s alcohol addiction, the wife prevents him from receiving his own life experience, the truth about himself and the life he lives. If you start paying more attention to yourself, your husband will learn to rethink his existence, understand that he needs to live differently, look not into the bottle, but at the things that are happening around him.
5. You should not be afraid of the emotional state of a sick person, his aggressive and inappropriate behavior. The more the spouse sympathizes with, scolds, or fears her husband, the more likely it is that the husband will continue to drink.

Individual and personal characteristics of alcohol addicts

People who are addicted or drink frequently have the following characteristics:

• impulsiveness;
• extroversion;
• suggestibility;
• restlessness;
• deliberate masculinity;
• low gender identification;
• hostility;
• psychopathy traits;
• poorly developed ego;
• negative self-concept;
• fear of death;
• hypochondria;
• hypersensitivity;
• passivity.

The risk group includes people with hyperactivity syndrome, aggressiveness, a tendency to rebellion and risk-taking, impulsivity, poorly developed self-control, alexithymia and a locus of external control. Each of these components accelerates the process of addiction formation.

Herbs for alcohol addiction

A drinker can get rid of addiction without the help of quite expensive drugs. There are quite a few folk remedies that can eliminate the discomfort associated with withdrawal symptoms and quickly return to a sober lifestyle. Some traditional healers note: when you need to figure out how to live without alcohol, drink infusions and decoctions of such medicinal herbs as:

• Leuzea safflower;
• walnut earrings;
• peony root;
• bearberry;
• sauerkraut juice;
• lemon.

When a person consumes these herbs and botanicals, they experience a significant reduction in withdrawal symptoms. Since it is quite difficult to quit drinking without coding, you need to pay attention to drug charges. They have a powerful effect and allow you to achieve a pronounced effect in a short time. A good effect is achieved by combining the herb bear's ears, wormwood, and barberry fruits in a ratio of 2:1:1.

Leuzea safflower

In China, since ancient times, to treat drunkenness, they used a remedy that included approximately 100 g of candy tree and the same amount of ginger in combination with green tea, ginseng root and mint leaves, which should be taken in 50 g each. To prepare a healing infusion, approximately 3 tbsp is taken. l. of this herbal mixture per 1 liter of boiling water. The composition should be left overnight in a thermos, and then drunk before meals with honey and lemon instead of tea and water.

Why do people drink

Alcohol is one of the easiest ways to escape reality. Each person has his own reason to take a glass:

• lack of courage and self-confidence;
• resentment, shame, pain and other negative feelings and emotions that corrode from the inside;
• internal conflict;
• non-acceptance of oneself.

In addition, people use alcohol as a means of communication and a leisure option. But this is not something to have fun with. Yes, alcohol reduces fears and anxieties, instills confidence in one’s own strength, but all this is due to the death of neurons and poisoning of the body. A person’s intellectual boundaries narrow, his perception of the world changes, and his sensitivity to social factors and norms decreases.

Those who take it for fun (hedonic attitude, desire to improve a positive attitude) are less susceptible to addiction. And people who try to get rid of fears and anxieties with the help of alcohol (the desire to get rid of a negative mood) are more susceptible to addiction. However, often both the first and second motives are combined in the behavior of one person.

Some people talk about the benefits of small doses of alcohol (read the article “13 myths about alcohol”). Yes, at first efficiency, creativity, and activity increase, but gradually this goes away and addiction forms. To drink or not is everyone’s personal choice. But it is everyone’s responsibility to know all the risks and take responsibility for their choices.

Motives for alcohol consumption

Most often, people drink out of boredom, lack of love and joy in life, social skills, or fear of losing communication with someone. Alcohol is a destructive way of self-realization.

Self-realization, to put it simply, is the development of personality through the satisfaction of its actual needs. If it is impossible to achieve a need, a person experiences a state of frustration, which he overcomes either with the help of protective mechanisms of the psyche or through conscious coping strategies.

The earlier you get stuck in the pyramid of needs, the worse your self-realization. Satisfaction of lower needs (food, safety, sex) gives a feeling of comfort and peace, but not the happiness, peace, pride, delight that comes with the satisfaction of higher needs. Excessive consumption of food, alcohol, drug addiction, sexual promiscuity - simplified and flawed self-realization. These are attempts to achieve higher feelings through habitual lower means.

In general, the following motives for drinking alcohol can be identified (classification by V. Zavyalov):

• Socio-psychological (traditional, submissive, pseudocultural). This includes drinking on holidays, submitting to someone else's authority, and cultivating alcohol as a value in a particular group.
• Personal (hedonic, ataractic, hyperactivation). This means drinking for a feeling of lightness and euphoria, relieving stress, overcoming boredom or fear.
• Pathological (hangover, desire to “drink out of spite,” pathological attraction). We are no longer talking about habit and hobby, but about addiction and other related pathologies.

Motives for abstinence

Motivations for drinking alcohol are better understood, probably because they are more general. But the motives for abstinence are private. However, the most popular ones can be named:

• Physical rejection: deterioration in health at the time of administration and after, depressive mood instead of euphoria, immediate signs of poisoning.
• Conscious abstinence: for reasons of faith, because of moral standards, social prohibitions, personal motives.

dietary supplements

They can act as auxiliary drugs in the treatment of alcoholism. For example, they can alleviate the symptoms of alcohol poisoning, thereby reducing the desire to “hangover”. At the same time, it is worth remembering that dietary supplements are not drugs and are closer to food products. [3] Registration of dietary supplements has a simplified scheme, not as strict as for drugs, and does not require research or testing. Most drugs sold on the Internet for the treatment of alcoholism do not have proven effectiveness and are not properly studied for safety and side effects. All this leads to the fact that some manufacturers use toxic or poorly studied components or combinations thereof when creating dietary supplements.

If you decide to try this drug, we recommend:

• carefully study the composition, analyze whether the price for this remedy for alcoholism is adequate, or whether there are more affordable analogues;
• read reviews, focusing on negative ones, as positive ones may be part of an advertising campaign;
• consider the purchase, weigh the pros and cons. Often on such sites you can see signs that encourage purchases, for example, “only 10 bottles left” or “only 26 minutes until the end of the promotion.” These tricks are used to make you hurry up with your purchase and not have time to critically study the drug.

We do not recommend using dietary supplements without consulting your healthcare professional.

The effect of alcohol on the body

Alcohol is absorbed into the blood within 5-10 minutes, resulting in:

• deterioration of mental abilities;
• weakening of memory;
• insensitivity to new information;
• lack of coordination;
• decreased emotional sensitivity.

At the moment of intoxication, self-control weakens, instincts and true needs take over.

In total, according to the reactions, 2 phases are distinguished: in the first, the blood vessels dilate, the person feels warmth and a surge of strength; the second phase quickly begins, in which vasoconstriction occurs, and as a result - rapid heartbeat, increased blood pressure, pain in the chest and head, and loss of coordination.

The nervous system suffers more than others from the influence of alcohol. As a result of systematic alcohol consumption, serious mental changes occur:

• irritability is noted;
• sleep disorders;
• mood swings;
• rapid fatigue and low performance;
• decreased intelligence;
• psychoses;
• degradation and disintegration of personality;
• maladaptation (decreased performance or loss of work, isolation, conflicts);
• loss of previous interests;
• change in character (optional, infantile, denial, irresponsible);
• getting stuck in illusions, dreams, lies;
• other individual and personal problems.

You can't change an alcoholic without changing yourself

A person's ability to effectively influence another person is very limited. Significant changes can only be achieved by influencing indirectly, i.e. changing your own behavior. By changing ourselves, we inevitably change the world around us, and, consequently, the subject of our increased attention. This is especially clearly observed in intrafamily relationships, where the format of relationships is quite diverse, and relationships include the financial, spiritual, and emotional spheres. An analogy with a clock mechanism, in which everything happens strictly in accordance with a well-established scheme, is appropriate here. All individual parts of a complex watch mechanism work in a rigid relationship and are not able to “overcome” this dependence.

In the human world, the family is the same clockwork mechanism and the chances of “influencing” a malfunctioning gear are higher, the more members in the family are critical of the pathological hobby.

How to stop drinking

Some people try not to quit drinking, but to reduce doses or switch to weak drinks, but this does not get rid of the habit. If you are determined to get rid of alcohol, then the only option is to stop drinking altogether. Yes, this will not be easy to do, since for some reason this particular type of leisure is very much promoted in our country. Household drunkenness is the norm in our society.

1. Find an end goal and strong motivation. Write down on a piece of paper why you want to quit drinking. Write down why you drink. Where are there more points? If the reasons for getting rid of the habit are, then you are ready to fight with yourself and society.
2. Get a support group. It would be nice to get rid of this habit together with someone from your previous social circle. However, at the same time, be prepared that without alcohol, many relationships will lose their meaning.
3. By the way, write down when and with whom you drink. Imagine the same thing, but without alcohol. Is this possible? If not, how to solve this?
4. Alcohol is often a sophisticated form of self-realization. Think about it, is this your case? What real need is hidden behind alcohol?
5. Analyze your feelings and emotions at the time of drinking alcohol, before and after. Where does drinking usually begin? Are you happy? Are you happy or sad? Maybe you feel resentment, shame or guilt? Are you bored?
6. Often alcohol acts not only as entertainment or a means of communication, but also as a pain reliever. But it doesn’t solve problems, it temporarily masks and creates new ones.
7. It follows from this that internal problems need to be solved. But they require an individual approach.

You should always start by identifying the internal cause of craving for alcohol. The most popular types of motivation are:

• relieving discomfort, anxiety, sadness and melancholy;
• inability to refuse people (disrespect; when visiting, you must drink to the health of the owner of the house);
• hedonistic attitude towards alcohol;
• increasing self-esteem and activity;
• demonstrative drinking as an option to compensate for an inferiority complex (usually accompanied by a demonstration of income, expensive drinks, beautiful establishments or accessories, good taste);
• curiosity.

Thus, you can get rid of the habit by adhering to several strong points:

1. Don’t forbid yourself to drink so as not to disturb your subconscious (the forbidden always attracts). You can drink, but you don't need to. And in order to decide for yourself that this is not necessary, describe the personal harm of alcohol and the benefits of quitting. Collect a knowledge base about alcoholism, examine the issue from different angles.
2. Engage in active self-discovery. Understand yourself. To do this, it is better to visit a psychologist. The individual himself is not always aware of the true motives of alcoholism or the needs falsely satisfied by alcohol.
3. Activity and activity. It is important to correctly self-realize through activity. But you can’t leave one thing, for example, work. This is dangerous for the development of workaholism. It is recommended to combine interesting, satisfying work, hobbies and social activity. Fill your life with what interests you and is truly useful.
4. Change of social circle and system of interaction with the world. First, learn to value yourself and give up alcohol without feeling guilty. Secondly, give up people who hinder your personal growth. It will probably turn out that there are many drinking buddies, but few friends. Connect the previous point and this one.
5. Get into good habits. Learn to enjoy, for example, sports or reading books, active recreation.
6. Keep a diary. Virtual diaries have become popular lately.
7. Don't be afraid of breakdowns, know how to overcome them. Be prepared for worry, anxiety, tension, confusion, resentment, depression.

Changing your usual lifestyle, your way of interacting with the world and people will inevitably cause a feeling of “something is wrong”, “I don’t know what to do with myself”. Expanding your comfort zone and changing your usual way of life is never easy. It is at such moments that you want to drink again. Don't be alone with your thoughts. The environment is the main factor in the formation of habits. Take care of the environment that develops you.

Patient behavior

Only in the family of an addict they know what it means to fight the “green serpent.” The behavior of a person looking for alcohol or already drunk is unpredictable. The family of an alcoholic suffers from constant outbursts of anger and aggression. At the same time, many of his relatives find it difficult to hold on. What is needed here is psychological help for relatives rather than for the dependent person.

Many alcoholics make their relatives worry so much that it is difficult for them to resist leaving him forever, leaving him alone with his misfortune. The behavior of an alcoholic in the family suggests such thoughts. But you need to throw them away and pull yourself together in order to gradually achieve the desired result.

How to live with an alcoholic if he often does not appear at home, spending the night in the yard under the trees or at the police station? How many terrible thoughts haunt his wife or mother during these hours? What to do with an alcoholic? Be patient and have a heart-to-heart talk.

There is no need to despair or be sincerely surprised that many of the relatives do not share the aspirations of the wife who lives with an addict. The main thing is that relatives do not indulge the sick person’s desire to drink.

Afterword

It is difficult for a person with alcoholism, psychological and physical dependence to independently rebuild the course of life. But a person with a drinking habit can do this. It is enough to realize that he is following a destructive, erroneous and simple path. Achieving higher needs involves contacts with people, advancement in work, and the search for love. In general, activity in all its manifestations. Yes, setting goals, making plans and achieving them is not easy, but it is a healthy way to gain self-satisfaction, feel joy and delight.

Considering that drinking is a conscious choice (not taking into account advanced cases of alcoholism), we can say that this is a variant of an inadequate coping strategy. Gradually, it becomes a model of behavior and a way of life, and a little later, along with the development of physical dependence, it becomes a way of self-realization.

Drinking alcohol is a reflection of the reluctance to take responsibility for life, build a system of values ​​and attitudes, and follow it. A person is afraid of failures, so he decides not to even try to fully realize himself.

How to deal with an alcoholic: is it necessary to deal with the alcoholism of a loved one?

Many relatives (children, spouses, parents) try in every possible way to save their loved one: they take him to doctors, light candles in church for his health, hide money, and forbid him to drink alcohol at home. But such a struggle makes no sense. Because if a person himself does not decide to stop drinking, then no amount of effort from his family will help.

Alcoholism is a mental illness that can only be cured by specialists - narcologists and psychiatrists.

Symptoms

An alcoholic's behavior does not change immediately. In the initial stages of alcohol addiction, a person does not see the threat, but the stronger the craving for alcohol, the more he hides it. The addict experiences a feeling of guilt and shame: he does not want to admit that his body requires alcohol and hides this need by any means. The alcoholic becomes secretive, distant, and untalkative.

Those people who have lost their life guidelines become dependent: against the backdrop of difficulties, a person begins to drink, and because of drinking, he misses opportunities to save himself and develop. Personality degradation is a common symptom of addiction. Intellectual abilities deteriorate, ability to work and stress resistance decrease.

Psychological changes

The basis of addiction is a fixation on one action, which does not allow a person to escape the vicious circle. He drinks to reduce his anxiety and then suffers from bouts of guilt and remorse. The method of calming becomes a factor that only worsens well-being. A person with a clouded consciousness is a threat to himself and others. A gradually increased dose of alcohol affects the ability to perceive reality. The next morning, the alcoholic does not remember what happened while he was in an unconscious stupor or showing aggression.

Drunkenness is a situation where a person cannot stop. He has no sense of proportion, no understanding of the consequences.

An alcoholic always finds excuses for loved ones and strangers. Over time, against the backdrop of developing addiction, the drinker becomes aggressive and embittered: he cannot fully pay attention to his own addiction, and the family becomes a hindrance.

Physiological changes

The addict exhibits physical symptoms. He is constantly tired and exhausted. The more an alcoholic drinks, the worse his daily routine: he sleeps poorly, and because of fatigue he wants to sleep constantly; eats less or overeats - food intake is disrupted, which leads to diseases of the internal organs.

People who drink quickly lose weight, their skin becomes thinner and looks pale and sallow. Due to large doses of alcohol consumed, a person's face swells (swelling is especially noticeable). Booze does not have time to be eliminated from the body, so a person is always drunk: he staggers and feels sick. Constant dizziness and headaches appear.

The role of the family in treatment

Chronic alcoholism develops differently in married and single people. Family is the biggest support and support, a system in which difficulties will not be allowed to drag on. Children react especially sharply to their parents' alcoholism: their opinions and concerns should be listened to, even if they are groundless.

A family brings an alcoholic for treatment. Most visits to a narcologist are the initiative of those close to them, and not the alcoholic himself. Friends and family are a connection to the outside world for those undergoing treatment in a clinic or at home. These are people who know the strengths of an alcoholic. They can properly support the addict and find suitable words for him for further motivation.

Causes

Why does such dependence arise? Drinking, like psychotropic drugs, which are also addictive, affects the perception of reality. It clouds the mind, changes the undesirable picture of what is happening, so a person finds peace in a glass. He no longer feels pain or other corrosive feelings.

Brain fog is a kind of escape from reality. An attempt to temporarily forget about the causes of constant internal tension.

Common sources of alcoholism:

• difficult material and social living conditions;
• severe psychological trauma;
• suffered a tragedy, loss, death of a loved one - an event that greatly shocked;
• weakened psyche (a person suffers from constant stress, phobias, and cannot relieve internal tension);
• lack of motivation in life - a person does not develop.

If for a healthy person with a strong psyche, drinking is a negative factor that does not allow you to control yourself and your actions, then for a weak person, it is a real salvation, a way to reduce anxiety.

The development of alcoholism directly depends on a person’s well-being. Mental disorders contribute to addiction, which quickly turns into a constant need for a new dose.

Moral preparation

The support of loved ones is a driving force. It is difficult for an alcoholic to admit his own helplessness, so he rejects support until the last moment or neglects it. Deep down, an alcoholic does not feel worthy of help; he has resigned himself to such a life, created a comfort zone in which it is safe and does not hurt.

How to properly mentally prepare a family member for consultation with a narcologist:

discuss how the meeting will go and what questions the doctor will ask - most of all, an alcoholic is afraid of the unknown;

talk in advance about what worries the alcoholic, what confuses him about treatment;

communicate that regardless of the addict’s decision, the family will love and support him.

Moral spirit is what will unite the family against alcoholism. You cannot raise your expectations from a meeting with a doctor or promise an alcoholic a quick cure.

An alcoholic is an adult and should be taken seriously. A future patient of a drug treatment clinic should know what he is agreeing to and what stages of treatment await him.

Consequences of secret treatment

Treating a patient without his consent is not only ineffective, but also dangerous. An alcoholic does not comply with the conditions of drug treatment due to ignorance and unwillingness to be treated. It is worth remembering that the patient is lying about the amount of alcohol he drinks and the frequency of taking it, so it is very difficult to calculate the daily dose of the drug.

The safest consequence of secret treatment is a missing result. The body of an alcoholic suffers more heavily from intoxication, withdrawal symptoms, and aversion to alcohol. He is not ready either mentally or physically. Self-medication can harm the addict, bring his body to exhaustion or even death.