Hopelessness is a feeling that has complex mechanisms of formation, belonging to the negative layer of experiences, the basis of which is the subjective perception of the picture of the world as hopeless, since there is no objective unsolvability. It is born when faced with insurmountable obstacles or the impossibility of correcting what happened, i.e. borders closely on hopelessness, despair, and a feeling of one’s own powerlessness.
A feeling of hopelessness appears when faith and hope for a different outcome of the situation disappear, actions become meaningless and a person realizes the impossibility of changes in the desired direction. The inability to see ways of achieving exactly what you want gives rise to a feeling of hopelessness, since the irreversibility of the desired and pleasant consequences, which will also be impossible to prevent, will cause a feeling of joy and slight euphoria. There is also a version that hopelessness arises with the goal of protecting the nervous system from overload, and a person from wrong actions, being a defense mechanism against the wrong path. Those. It’s easier for the body to cut off the supply of energy to something that the subconscious has already assessed as unpromising than to try to reverse the uselessness.
What is a state of hopelessness?
The state of hopelessness , in its extreme manifestations, comes on its own very rarely. As a rule, the individual himself actively participates in this, emotionally driving himself into a corner, cutting off possible solutions, losing faith and giving up.
Facts about the state of hopelessness:
- Hopelessness is not biologically fixed as a model of reflexive behavior (which may include pleasure, fear, a sense of security).
- The feeling of hopelessness can be regulated by a person himself if he analyzes the meaning of situations, actively seeks a way out of them, and stimulates faith in the best.
- The feeling of hopelessness is a critical point in the perception of oneself in this world, which can serve as a starting point for changing the value and semantic space of perception.
- A person immersed in hopelessness sees everything in a negative light, does not see a way out of anything, loses the desire to act, goals and guidelines, does not see the meaning in daily actions, and, perhaps, in his entire life.
- The loss of illusions about achieving what you want can reorient a person towards other goals, or can awaken the desire to go into a dead end, stop and freeze one’s own life, and go into a state of hopelessness. The feeling of the impossibility of further movement in order to find a way out of the situation - hopelessness, in its extreme manifestations pushes people onto the path of alcoholism and drug addiction.
In this context, they are perceived as ways to escape reality. In some cases, extreme hopelessness pushes a person to suicide. This is a critical perception of a given experience that gradually penetrates and covers most areas of life, like metastases in the last stage of oncology.
*Therefore, it is especially important not to miss the first persistent symptoms of negative perception of the environment, the possibility of solving the problem, loss of hope and faith in a good outcome. Without these internal supports, it is impossible to overcome hopelessness.
Problems in life and hopelessness as a consequence
Problems in the life of every person arise from time to time, some of them, especially complex ones, can provoke hopelessness, like a feeling:
- irreversible loss of health,
- major financial loss
- dismissal from a promising job,
- unhappy love, child's illness,
- and a lot of other examples that can exist both as everyday problems and as rare difficult circumstances from which it is difficult to find a way out.
The most difficult moments of complete despair, a state of hopelessness, come when a combination of several significant factors occurs for one specific person.
Moreover, personal significance in the formation of such a feeling as hopelessness is paramount, because the death or problems of strangers (even a large number of them) are unlikely to affect your system of worldview with the same intensity as the death of one relative or loved one.
And uncritical negative experiences, but in large quantities and in relation to different areas of life, can lead to the feeling that there is no way out, due to their multiplicity.
Two feelings of hopelessness
In terms of the spectrum of sensations, hopelessness is two different feelings : one is a reaction to the acute negative impact of a problem that has arisen in an important area of life, the other is a feeling of the permanent meaninglessness of life itself.
The severity of the perception of critical moments and hopelessness intensify when several negative factors are combined, and even more so if one of them is basic in the value system.
Seeing the permanent destruction of his own hopes and needs, a person loses faith in the best and the strength to overcome difficulties, loses the ability to think objectively and does not see alternative solutions, that is, he decides for himself that there is no way out.
This inability to analyze new meaning and find ways is caused by a significant number of negative experiences, the instinctive perception that with active action big problems come.
When a person is in a state of chronic hopelessness, not only the will and mood manifestations of a person are destroyed, hopelessness affects his personality as a whole, and also leads to some somatic manifestations.
Frequent physiological reactions to a feeling of hopelessness are: decreased immunity, a feeling of weakness, stooped posture, bronchitis, pneumonia, neurological problems, tics, tremors of the limbs, insomnia, nightmares.
*The longer a person feels hopelessness, the more the range of existing disorders worsens. If in the initial stage it is possible to solve problems by regulating psychological perception, then later, when immersed in the situation, it is necessary to treat the physical ailments that arise.
How to overcome feelings of hopelessness?
How to overcome feelings of hopelessness? – The question is difficult, because in a person’s life there are situations when he experiences tension and the feeling that there is no way out. Everyone experiences such moments in their own way.
If one person vitally needs the support of loved ones, then another prefers to be left alone with himself, solving his problems on his own. In both cases, it is necessary to find the true cause of the problem and eliminate it.
Hopelessness is a depressing state of consciousness in which a person cannot find a positive way out of the situation. He tosses around inside himself and feels like he can't do anything. A person believes that he is weak in the face of circumstances and there is no way out.
The state of hopelessness can be caused by anything : fear of the future, concern for one’s health, worry about loved ones, anxiety and panic attacks, loss of meaning in life, etc.
Dealing with hopelessness
Psychological work with hopelessness, apparently, can be built in various ways. The most obvious and tested is to find the reasons, disassemble hopelessness into its components and work with these elements, weakening and eliminating them, while simultaneously strengthening the person’s volitional capabilities.
Another way is to work with the phenomenon as such, gradually changing established habits. For example, inviting a person, first a little, then more, to come into contact with people. It helps some people. Although, I believe that it is necessary to combine different methods.
Why does a person feel hopeless?
The reason for the feeling of hopelessness is the inability to cope with the current situation and the feelings that arise as a result.
At the root of the feeling of hopelessness is the fear of circumstances that a person cannot overcome. A person is afraid that something will happen to him that he cannot survive. This fear weighs on him from within. The situation is perceived by him as so critical that the person is sure that there is no way out.
On the other hand, he is weighed down by the feeling of being unable to do anything. As a result, the person rushes from one negative thought to another. They lead him to a dead end, not allowing him to see a positive way out and solution.
*It is necessary to remember that in any current situation you can find a way out, as a result of which a person will feel relief, calm and safety. Often all you need to do is ask for outside help.
What happens to a person during a state of hopelessness?
During experiences against a background of strong fear, emotions consume the mind and the person becomes unable to soberly assess the situation. He sees her as terrible. A person’s morbid fantasy is capable of inventing something that does not exist in reality. By instilling thoughts about negative events that will never happen, a person puts himself into idle panic.
An emotionally traumatized person cannot look at the situation adequately. The emotion of fear consumes him so much that it leads him into a state of hopelessness. Any person who experiences fear sees reality as distorted. “Everything is lost”, “nothing can be returned”, “this is the end!” - similar thoughts swirl in the head of a person who is in a state of depression.
How to overcome hopelessness?
The problem experienced by a person as a drama may not be as great as it seems. It may be greatly exaggerated or completely absent. It is the traumatized mind, fear and fantasies with a negative connotation that make you see the situation as hopeless. Even the realization that “my brain came up with all this out of fear” already helps to get out of the depressed state.
The first thing you need to do is to “wake up” your consciousness and understand what is happening to you now. Depression and hopelessness. You need to take good care of your condition. If you cannot cope on your own, tell another person about your problem.
It can be:
- People who are part of a circle of trust.
- People who managed to get through this.
- Best friend.
- Any other person.
You can intuitively turn to the person to whom the soul itself is drawn. It is important to be honest and frank. Any person who finds himself in a difficult situation needs an outside perspective.
In many situations, a third-party look at experiences will help you instantly see the cause and way out of the situation. Your interlocutor will be able to realistically assess how big the scale of your problem is. The fact is that a person in a state of severe anxiety may feel the problem is much more dramatic than it really is.
Ways to solve problems and eliminate internal discomfort
If you can’t share your problems with anyone, you can take a piece of paper or a personal notebook (if you don’t have one, create one) and talk about what’s happening, honestly describing everything you feel inside yourself. Even just describing your state of hopelessness can feel some relief.
Important:
- Write what you feel in every detail (even if it’s embarrassing). Paper will endure anything.
- Now you need to understand yourself and your feelings.
- Reduce the importance of the event.
- Ask yourself a few questions. Think about it, is what happened so terrible? Or did it not happen? How do you really feel when all this happens?
- What are you afraid of? Could it be that what you fear will never happen?
- Write down 10 possible positive ways out of a problem when your situation was resolved positively.
Whatever the degree of hopelessness, it is important to know that:
- In 99% of cases, fears do not come true.
- The expected event does not occur.
- The way out of the situation often appears on its own.
- Rest assured that everything will be fine.
The simple methods mentioned above will help you understand yourself and independently understand the scale of the “tragedy” and find a way out of the situation, up to the complete resolution of the problem.
When is a psychotherapist needed?
There is no way out - in cases where you feel that you cannot cope on your own, and the feeling of hopelessness begins to be long-lasting, you need to urgently consult a psychotherapist.
Prolonged experience of hopelessness can lead to psychosomatic disorders and health problems.
Do not bring the situation to a critical point; you must contact a qualified specialist. It will help relieve anxiety, find a way out, resolve problems and completely restore peace of mind.
*In addition, you can make your worries a little easier by sharing them on our mutual help site. Perhaps someone has already been in a similar situation to yours and can suggest a solution to the problem. Don't be distant - leave an ad and people will definitely come to your aid!
Despair and hopelessness
In the life of every person, events can occur that will plunge him into a state of despair and hopelessness, and it will be very difficult for him to get out of this state. Yes, sometimes life drives a person into a dead end and hits him with all his might, knocking him down and forcing him to suffer. And only a few of us, finding ourselves in an extremely difficult situation, in a dead end, can find the strength to get out of it with dignity. Many, unfortunately, in difficult situations lose heart and fall into despair. But despair and hopelessness, fear and pain, loss of spirit and loss of faith in the best and in oneself - these are the tests that each of us must go through in our lives. And so that you know, dear readers, how to get through these trials, how to find a way out of even the most hopeless situation, I suggest you carefully and thoughtfully read this article, in which I will not only give you the knowledge necessary to overcome any difficulties in life, but and I will charge you with positive energy that will allow you to apply this knowledge.
A person who experiences a feeling of hopelessness and despair, and does not see a way out of the situation that is bad for him, in which he finds himself by coincidence, is under the power of extremely negative emotions. It seems to him that there is, in principle, no way out of his situation, although in fact he simply does not look for it, because he cannot look for it, because for this he needs to get rid of his dark emotions and start thinking, but emotions are very strong and they they don’t let go - they rule over him. Emotions, especially negative ones, in a difficult situation are a person’s main enemy. Being in a calm state, you all, I am sure, just like me, believe that there is always a way out of any situation, no matter how difficult it is. And looking at a person who finds himself in a difficult situation from the outside, you can give him a lot of correct advice on how to get out of this situation. But once you find yourself in a similar situation and feel hopelessness in your own emotions, you also won’t know what and how you need to do to cope with yourself and your problems. When we fall into despair, we do not see what we usually see when we look at the same situation from the outside, without experiencing negative emotions. Of course, not all problems can be solved by us, even in the most calm state, since for this we still need to have the necessary knowledge that allows us to solve this or that problem. But in order to at least find the right direction in which to move in order to solve their problems, it is important for a person to remain in a calm state, because without calm we are not able to control ourselves, we are not able to fully understand what is happening to us. Therefore, I will tell you how to come to calm and begin to think constructively, because as you can see, the solution to the problem we are considering depends primarily on this.
What happened? Who is to blame for this? Where will all this lead? And what should you do to solve your problem? These are the questions that we have to answer when we fall into despair and feel hopelessness, when we are scared and we do not see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes these questions pop into our heads on their own, and sometimes we need to pose them to ourselves in order to understand what is happening in our lives. I suggest you, dear friends, answer these questions in reverse order in order to answer them correctly and generally answer them, and not leave them in limbo. So, what to do in a situation in which you experience a feeling of despair and hopelessness, as well as a number of other negative feelings that poison your life? It is obvious that you must first calm down and get rid of all the emotions that overcome you, regardless of the situation in which you find yourself. Being under the influence of negative emotions, you will not be able to solve your problems even with the help of a specialist, because you simply will not listen to him and understand what he is telling you. Therefore, by the way, experienced psychologists, before advising anything to their clients, try to calm them down, and only after the person calms down do they begin a thoughtful discussion with them about their problems. So how can you get rid of negative emotions and start thinking constructively? To do this, you need to abstract yourself from the reality that is unpleasant for you, you need to look at it and at yourself from the outside. This is not easy to do, but it is possible, and most importantly, necessary.
You need to have a good imagination to be able to look at yourself, at your despair, at your fear, anger, resentment, at the imaginary hopelessness of your situation, from the outside. This is easy for some, difficult for others, but everyone, I assure you, everyone can abstract themselves from their problems and the emotions associated with them. Therefore, you need to try to do this in order to calm down. After all, what does hopelessness mean? It means hopelessness when a person is convinced that there is no way out of the situation in which he finds himself! But is this possible in this world? Do hopeless situations even exist in it? Of course not. There is always a way out of any situation. But to find it, you need to look at your situation from the outside in order to see what we do not see when looking at it from the first person. So, in order to abstract yourself from your problems and the emotions associated with them, you need to talk and think of yourself as a third party whose problem you want to solve. Don’t consider the problem you have as your own, consider it someone else’s – the person in whom you are used to seeing yourself. It is not you who find yourself in a difficult situation, but he, the person with whom you associate yourself, who finds himself in a difficult situation, and your task, and you are pure reason, first of all is to get this person out of that emotional state , in which he resides and which blinds him. And then, together with him, you will be able to get him out of the difficult situation in which he finds himself. Think about this possibility of solving problems that arise in your life, accept into your life, into your consciousness, this scenario of your actions in order to use it in stressful situations. After all, the problem with abstraction arises much more often among those people who have no idea at all about a similar state of their own consciousness, in which a person speaks and thinks about himself in the third person and in this state solves, and very effectively, all his problems. Some people even criticize those who practice this way of solving their problems, and argue that a person who talks about himself in the third person is some kind of abnormal person. Don't attach any importance to this point of view. She is unfaithful! Abnormal is the person who cannot solve his problems due to his lack of control over his own emotional state, and the one who, God forbid, comes to the conclusion that his life is meaningless and begins to think about interrupting it. That's what's abnormal, that's what's scary! People who fall into depression and stay there for many years, depriving themselves of the opportunity to fully communicate with the outside world - these are the ones with whom everything is really not all right, these are the ones who are abnormal, and who clearly need help. And the one who tries to calm himself down in order to solve his problems by speaking and thinking about himself in the third person is a very normal and mentally healthy person. So be sure to resort to the technique I suggested for working with your own consciousness in order to get rid of negative emotions and help yourself in the same way as you could help another person, looking at him from the outside, who finds himself in a difficult situation and has fallen into a state of despair and hopelessness. Forget about the fact that what is happening to you is what is happening, and think about how you would help a person who found himself in a similar situation, what advice would you give him, what would you suggest he do to solve his problems? Well, therefore, just listen to your own advice and solve your problems.
In addition to the above, friends, you need to include in your circle of concepts the idea that the Universe is multivariate, and each situation can have an infinite number of solutions. These decisions can be anything, good or bad for you. Perhaps it is difficult for you to believe this or you do not want to believe it, preferring to see yourself in a hopeless situation, in a dead end from which there is no way out, but so far, human experience indicates that this is exactly the case. Consequently, the situation in which you feel a sense of despair and hopelessness has a scenario in which you will feel like a happy person and everything will be fine with you. And in general, any situation has a lot of positive scenarios for the development of events, even if in the current state this situation seems catastrophic and there is no way out of it. You don't need to argue with this or think too much about this theory of a multi-probability future, for now I'm just asking you to include it in your circle of concepts. Accept the possibility that this can happen, and that even a situation in which there is no way out, which is simply terrible for you or for someone else, can end for you and for this person in the most favorable way. Either your brain will work on this theory, trying to help you overcome a difficult emotional state - an emotional crisis, so that you find a solution to your problems, or this theory will be used in working with you by a psychologist to whom you turn for help. The main thing is that you understand that hopeless situations do not exist in our world. In our brain, yes, they can exist, but in the world, in the Universe known to us, no. So no matter how hard it is for you now, or for someone else whom you want to help - know that all this is a temporary feeling of despair, hopelessness, doom, fear, anger and other negative emotions and feelings that poison the mind and soul of a person . With certain actions on the part of the person experiencing these emotions and feelings, they can immediately leave him. What specific actions can cause this to happen? More on this below.
So, the last and most important thing I want to tell you, dear readers, and what I would like you to focus all your attention on is your desire to help yourself. You may not believe me, but I, as an experienced person, say, because I know it, that many people simply do not want to help themselves, and they do not want others to help them, and therefore do not look for a way out of those difficult situations in which which life takes them. They like to be in these situations, they like to be a victim and suffer. For example, and this has been proven by many scientists, which you yourself can find out on the Internet and in the relevant literature, many hopelessly ill people, in their thoughts, which they may not even realize, do not want to get better, and therefore die. And vice versa, those hopelessly ill people who not only believe, but sincerely want to recover, are cured even from the most incurable diseases. These are not miracles, this is one of the laws of the Universe, which has not yet been fully studied by people, but exists and works. And this law tells us that, if not everything, then a lot depends on our desires. And first of all, it depends on our desires whether we will be happy people or suffer. When you find yourself in a difficult life situation, you should think about how much you want to change it. After all, if you like to suffer, then no one will be able to help you solve your problems, and even more so you yourself will not be able to help yourself. There are people who really like to tell everyone how terrible their life is, how bad everything is and how they suffer. They look for and find negativity in everything and then twist, twist, twist other negative thoughts onto it, driving themselves into an even darker state. They constantly whine, constantly complain about their unhappy fate, constantly talk about their suffering, often repeatedly exaggerating their significance and seriousness. Such people, of their own free will, fall into a state of despair and hopelessness and do not want to get out of it. Why do they need this? They want to suffer, they want to take pleasure in pain and suffering, just as people take pleasure in hurting themselves through alcohol and tobacco. I will not go deeper into this topic now, since it cannot be described in a few words, so we will leave it for other articles. But you should know that without a sincere desire to get rid of negative emotions and feelings, a person will not get rid of them.
In my work, I constantly come across people who don’t want everything to be good for them - they want to suffer, they like it. And when, after long-term communication with them and attempts to help them, I understand that they resist me and do not want to accept my help, I ask them a direct question - why don’t they want everything to be fine with them? I don’t ask this question to everyone, because not everyone is morally ready for it, many people don’t even realize that they like to suffer, that they like to see the hopelessness of their situation and the meaninglessness of their life. But those people who, from my point of view, are ready for this question answer me that they do not know why they do not need either my or their own help. They don't understand why they don't want to be happy, but want to suffer. And from this moment, we begin a completely different work with them. That is, you must first understand why you cannot do what you need to do to solve your problems. After all, it’s all about a person’s desire - he decides whether to be happy or suffer.
As for you, dear friends, you need to thoroughly understand yourself and your life in order to try to find in it the pattern of what happened to you. I don’t say one hundred percent, but I admit the possibility that you yourself have driven yourself, perhaps without even realizing it, into the state in which you are now. Despair and hopelessness are not independent phenomena in this world, they are just one of the states of our mind and our soul. And this state, if you remain in it, even if it did not become the result of your unconscious desire, then in any case, thanks to your already fully conscious desire, it can leave you. This requires that you desire it, and then show the will to bring yourself out of this state. And now that I told you about this, you can return to my words that the Universe is multivariate, that your future has a lot of possible options, both good and bad, and it depends on you what scenario it will develop according to your future life. Agree, now it is much easier to believe. Now that you know how powerful your desire can be, your faith begins to acquire the healing power for which it is famous. You know that if a person believes in the best, then the best will come? But in order to believe in something, you need to want it, because without a person’s desire, faith is powerless. In addition, you will not be satisfied with faith alone; it is always followed by specific actions that need to be taken in order to get to where you want to be. Believing is easy, but not always effective. But understanding what your faith is based on and what its meaning is - this is a more effective approach to solving your problems.
What your emotional and spiritual state will be like and how your future life will develop depends on your desires, dear friends. You don’t need to think about any specific scenario that would completely suit you, just decide for yourself what you want - for everything to be good for you, or for everything to be bad. And try to explain your choice to yourself. And only after your desire is conscious and accepted by you, begin to search for the scenario in which your future will be the way you want it to be. I assure you, you will definitely find this option. This means that the feeling of despair and hopelessness will be replaced by a feeling of joy and happiness, based on which you will take all the actions required of you to fulfill your desire.
