How to find your calling on your own in 7 days

Read: 5 min.
The best reward in our lives is the opportunity to do something that is worth it.
Theodore Roosevelt

Life's work, calling, purpose - is it just a good job? Or something different? What do we look for when we look for a calling? In this article you will find tools for finding yourself, advice from a psychologist, 10+ questions that are important to answer in order to find yourself, and 3 high-quality free tests that will help you find your calling.

In finding a calling, it is important to start looking. Go!

How to help yourself find your purpose in life

What do you think is the most important thing in finding purpose?
Find out what interests you. Ask yourself what you would be willing to do, even for free, or what you would continue/do if you no longer had to work. It is in this area that you need to find your way. Start by looking at what you can do right now to get closer to it and what can help you turn it into income. How easy is it to find your calling and a job you like? There is a golden formula for finding a calling: I can + I want + I need. I can – these are your abilities, skills, abilities and knowledge (including potential). I want - these are your interests, that is, inclinations. It is necessary - this is what is in demand in the professional market right now. Moreover, you can analyze both the all-Russian or international market, as well as the market in a specific region or city. This again depends on your abilities and capabilities, for example, your willingness to move somewhere.

If the first two elements are more or less stable and are inherent in us from birth, then the last element is dynamic. Some professions are losing their relevance, while others are gaining popularity, and new types of employment are appearing. I can’t help but note the growing number of Internet professions and the opportunity to work remotely. All this is also important to take into account. In fact, modern people are in no way limited geographically in choosing a profession and finding a job. The restrictions apply only to manual and physical labor.

How can you help yourself understand these components? Make several lists:

in-demand professions (study the market that suits you best);
what is interesting to you, including what was interesting once in your childhood, teenage years or youth (write down everything that comes to mind, even what seems crazy);
what you hate or what is not interesting to you is not clear (for example, my brain works exclusively in the humanitarian direction - there is no other option, which means that all sorts of “chemists” and “physics” will be included in this list).

There is another interesting approach to finding vocation and purpose. A person feels fulfilled and his life meaningful only when it has three key criteria: competence (self-confidence as a professional), autonomy (independence and freedom in choosing work tasks, workplace, etc.) and involvement (unity with a certain group of people).

Carrying out your responsibilities makes you feel like you belong

Choose a field of activity in which you will feel like a fish in water. Then you won't have to make an effort to demonstrate your professionalism. In particular, natural extroverts find energy in social situations, but not everyone does. If Bill Clinton comes alive on stage, drawing energy from the audience, an introvert feels terrible under the spotlight. Public attention sucks all the energy out of him. Such people need a lot of effort to overcome themselves and perform on stage, or give a speech at a gala reception. They prefer privacy, one-on-one conversation. Each of us manifests himself most fully in different conditions and circumstances. Some people need full houses and applause, others can concentrate only when left alone. A career develops new skills, but does not change character. Perhaps you will learn to speak publicly, and public activity will become familiar to you. But the craving for solitude will still remain.

Reasons why it is difficult to find your purpose

Some parents, without knowing it, suppress their child's potential. For example, they themselves choose a child’s hobby, and in the future, a profession. Or they force you to stop “being foolish” and choose a “normal” job. Let's consider the most popular barriers in the search for calling and purpose.

No understanding of your abilities

Not all parents and teachers have enough knowledge, skills or desire to help their child realize his abilities. Someone imposes their interests, for example, trying to make a musician out of a child, since the mother failed to become one. Someone runs after fashion, for example, sends their child to learn a popular dance style. Some people are not interested in the child at all. So a person grows up who does not know his abilities.

How to understand what you are capable of and what is completely not yours? For example, study the 8 types of intelligence and determine those that are most present in you. Did you even know that in addition to IQ, there are also bodily-kinesthetic, visual-spatial, logical-mathematical, musical, linguistic, existential, interpersonal and naturalistic intelligence?

Made the decision for you

Authoritarianism and overprotection lead to one thing - childishness of the child. In the first case, he is strictly told what to do. In the second case, everything is unobtrusively decided for him. Although both there and there there is total control and an abundance of prohibitions. The child grows up and still expects someone else to tell him what to do.

Required good grades in all subjects

Our education system is far from perfect. In short, there are two things that parents should pay attention to: you cannot evaluate a child by grades and you cannot demand A's in all subjects.

The mark does not reflect the student’s true knowledge and does not in any way help the development of abilities. You can get a good grade by cramming, cheating, or other tricks. But there will be no benefit from this.

It's impossible to be the best at everything. It is much wiser and more useful to identify as early as possible what subjects the child is interested in, what he has abilities for, and focus on this. It is better to send your child to a school with a special focus or to one where you can choose subjects. However, not all parents have this opportunity. In this case, you need to at least talk to the child yourself and convey to him that the content of the study is more important, not the result. In those subjects that the student clearly does not need, C grades are enough to issue a certificate.

Did your parents insist on a profession that you don’t like?

Some parents try to live their lives again through their child or force the child to continue the family business. And some choose what, in their opinion, is profitable and in the future will be able to provide a decent standard of living not only for the child, but also for them. One way or another, all this leads to the fact that even during training the child develops an aversion to what he is doing, and at the same time the joy in life disappears.

Obstacles that prevent you from realizing yourself

Before setting out on the path of a fateful search, I propose to consider the main reasons why people do not live their own lives. Once you realize them, you will already have taken the first step in the right direction.

Ignorance of self

Unfortunately, not all talents are destined to be discovered in childhood. It happens, for example, that a child with perfect pitch is born into a non-musical family and is not even aware of his abilities.

It is good if parents are attentive to the inclinations of their child and try to develop him comprehensively. If this is not your situation, then you should not be upset and offended by them. You need to take everything into your own hands and start getting to know yourself from a variety of sides on your own.

Feel free to sign up for clubs, attend master classes and training courses. It's never too late to start singing, dancing, cross-stitching or painting. If this is truly your occupation, you will find a way to realize yourself in it.

Fear of change

The more time we live a life that is not our own, go to a job we don’t like, do things we don’t want to do, the more the swamp of routine drags us down. At a certain point, the sticky quagmire begins to seem cozy and comfortable, and everything beyond it begins to seem hostile and frightening.

Don't stay in your comfort zone!

You need to accept the fact that any change is stressful. That it will take a long time before you can catch and ride your wave. In the meantime, you need to prepare to endure the hardships and difficulties of leaving your comfort zone.

False stereotypes and beliefs

“You won’t achieve anything without a higher education”, “You can’t earn big money honestly” - how many more of these things are stored in your heads? It's time to get rid of this psychological junk and open up to new possibilities.

Read the biographies of famous actors, successful businessmen, and politicians, and you will see that they smash common stereotypes to smithereens. Why are you worse? Don't let the limitations in your mind affect your reality.

Reluctance to take responsibility

It is impossible to achieve success in life while remaining in an infantile position all the time. Until you take the steering wheel into your own hands, you will continue to live according to someone else’s scenario. If in childhood the parents decided everything for a person - how to dress, what to do, who to be friends with - he can retain this pattern for the rest of his life. So he will look for an imaginary nanny on whom he can rely morally, emotionally and financially.

If you recognize yourself in this description, you urgently need to grow up. Look for support within and strive for maximum independence. When you stop depending on anyone, you will find true freedom. No external voices can drown out the call of the heart and prevent you from finding your purpose.

Perfectionism

Striving for excellence is a good quality. But only if it motivates you to work, and not vice versa. It happens that you start doing something exciting, achieve the first results, but don’t feel any joy. The achievements of colleagues in the shop who have been working in this field for a long time and persistently flash before your eyes.

Competition should motivate, not frustrate.

If, looking at them, you give up and all your efforts seem in vain, this is a bad sign. You urgently need to lower the bar of aspirations, otherwise the road to apathy and frustration awaits you. Accept the fact that someone will always be better than you at something.

But this is not a reason to give up doing something you like. So you can endlessly try yourself in a variety of roles and only experience disappointment. Don't expect sky-high results right away and stop comparing yourself to others. Remember: you can only compare yourself today with yourself yesterday.

Dependence on other people's opinions

“You can’t make a living from music”, “all this is self-indulgence”, “stop doing nonsense” - many of us have heard something like this more than once. A person who decides to follow a lonely overgrown path rather than a wide, smooth highway will always be looked at askance.

You should not follow the lead of pessimists and bores. If your hobbies do not correspond to the ideas of a “normal” job, do not rush to give them up. The modern world gives us simply limitless opportunities for self-expression and development. Those who are able to think more broadly and see perspectives win the competition.

Frustration

It happens that no activity brings pleasure to a person. In addition to watching TV series and computer games. I don’t want to do anything; any activity takes a lot of energy. This condition is called frustration and is the first and main symptom of developing depression. There is no time for searching for purpose anymore.

Under no circumstances should this situation be left to chance. It is useless to sit and wait for something to interest you, light you up, inspire you. It will not happen. You need to literally grab yourself by the scruff of the neck and pull yourself out of the swamp before it’s too late. Advanced depression can only be dealt with through drug intervention in hormonal processes. It shouldn't come to this.

You shouldn’t wait for inspiration to strike you and a desire to do something. Rely on the saying “Appetite comes with eating.”

Start doing something productive through “I don’t want.” At first it will be difficult, unpleasant, boring, energy-consuming. And then you will slowly get involved, get the first results and your rusty energy pendulum will begin to slowly swing. Don't demand a lot from yourself at once, act gradually. Over time, it will be possible to connect other activities. Only at this stage does it make sense to start thinking about purpose.

How will your life change once your purpose is found?

How can you determine that your calling and purpose in life have been found? You will feel that the level of anxiety has decreased, psychosomatic diseases have disappeared, sleep has improved, harmony has appeared within and in relationships with the outside world, fears have disappeared, especially fear of the future.

What else happens when you find your calling? Mondays will no longer be hated, there will be no “suffering from bell to bell” attitude, getting up in the morning will be easier, etc. You will begin to live and breathe deeply, all areas of life will automatically improve and improve.

Note! Some people believe that you can find and discover your purpose in life using astrology or numerology. I don't believe in it and I don't specialize in it. Therefore, in the article we will not cover this side of the issue - we will only analyze psychology and determine its relationship to this problem.

Steps to finding yourself and your purpose in life

Let's look at 5 steps to find yourself and your purpose in life.

Listen to your soul

Choose a time and place, retire, turn off communications. Imagine or draw, write down, speak your future. Give free rein to your imagination. What are these images? Find among them what your soul desires.

Turn on your mind

Think about how you can make what you envisioned into reality. We will talk about this more in the section “Tips for finding a calling at work.”

Create Awareness

Awareness is living here and now, experiencing as much as possible what you want to do. A calling is something that gives pleasure at the level of thoughts, feelings and body.

Get into the right state

Prepare yourself to solve problems. Convince yourself that you can handle difficulties if they arise. But the main thing is to convince yourself that you need to solve problems as they arise.

Take action

Make a step-by-step plan to make your dreams come true. For example, if you understand that you lack knowledge of the English language, then you can sign up for courses right now. Many people justify their inaction by saying they don’t have time or money. In fact, this means one thing - there is no desire. Start with free video lessons, lectures, or reading articles and books.

Free up your time by eliminating unnecessary scrolling through social networks and watching TV too often. Or start getting up earlier and going to bed a little later. Set aside at least half an hour or an hour a day for your dream, and within a month the result will appear.

Where can you find out your ancestry by last name?

To simplify the process of independent search and drawing up an action strategy, you should familiarize yourself with some divisions of historical state archives:

In the archive of socio-political history you can obtain information about participants in youth movements and organizations.

The Naval Archive should be consulted for data from the Navy Ministry dating back to 1827.

In the archive of recent history you can find out information about members of the Communist Party.

The military archive contains information about military personnel from 1920.

The military historical archive contains information about the military of the pre-revolutionary period from 1797.

Archive of Ancient Acts - contains information about the life of people in Tsarist Russia.

The departmental archive contains information about the merits and awards of the Soviet people.

Don't forget about regional libraries and city museums. In these authorities you can also find out information about your ancestors, which will help you create a family tree.

Tips for finding your calling at work

How to find your calling in the profession? What is this anyway? This is the highest readiness for a specific job. What does it depend on? From natural inclinations, characteristics of temperament and body constitution.

There are four degrees of professional compliance:

unsuitable - your characteristics do not correspond to a specific profession;
suitable - you can do work according to algorithms and templates, but this is unlikely to bring satisfaction and happiness;
capable - psychological characteristics correspond to a specific profession, if you wish, you can become a successful specialist and do your job with pleasure;
vocation - every part of the psyche, body, soul corresponds to a specific profession (you can become the most talented and even brilliant person in this field).

My experience of finding my purpose in life

I am a psychologist-copywriter. From the 8th grade of secondary school (if not earlier), I knew that later I would go to study as a psychologist. As I now understand, my choice was dictated by a not very happy childhood, a desire to understand myself, my parents and my whole life. Before studying and during the first years of university, the only person I wanted to help was myself. This stage can hardly be called a search for a calling, but it was part of it.

I would like to note that psychology interests me in all its forms. I can't even watch a movie in peace. Firstly, I love something “tricky”, and secondly, I constantly study heroes. So I still didn’t make a mistake with my profession, no matter what dictated my choice.

Almost immediately after graduating from university, I realized that working with people directly was difficult for me. Firstly, due to temperament, it is difficult to communicate a lot and be in company. Secondly, due to developed empathy, it is difficult to sort out other people’s problems - I burn out.

For some time I was completely confused and didn’t know what to do. What happened: I love psychology and want to do it, but I don’t want to contact people (no matter how strange it may sound). And I also wanted to work from home. The idea came up to look for work on the Internet. I tried all sorts of ways to make money, including copywriting (rewriting). At the beginning of my journey, I had to write on different topics, which I clearly didn’t like. Later, I was able to allow myself to choose and look for projects only in psychology or close to it.

What do I end up with? In my opinion, writing expert articles (for example, articles on how to find your purpose) is also helping people, but less energy-consuming for me. Although even in this work there are topics that are difficult emotionally, but not as difficult as direct interaction with people. And despite the difficulties, fatigue and so on, what I do brings pleasure and money. Everything the doctor ordered.

Interests, skills and abilities

This is what you know how to do and love to do. You drive a car, greet guests, skillfully set the table, decorate windows, ride a bike well, have calligraphic handwriting, are an accountant, get along with technology or, on the contrary, love animals, and so on.

This also includes interesting activities and your desires. You like kayaking, you want to learn how to drive a motorcycle, you plan to start drawing, you want to teach people, start making websites or something else.