An arrogant person: what does it mean and how to deal with it

Definition of the concept

Arrogance implies a need for dominance, a person’s excessive confidence in his own abilities, strength, and credit for success. By and large, arrogant behavior serves as a compensation mechanism for self-distrust and lack of self-confidence. Arrogant behavior has synonyms, namely pompous and arrogant.

An arrogant person is one who behaves exaltedly, exalts himself over other people, considers himself more valuable and important, as a result of which he treats others with disdain. Such an individual wants to be admired, to be respected for the presence of certain qualities or accomplished actions.

Arrogant behavior is characteristic of almost all people in a certain life situation or in the presence of special circumstances. As for individuals who are characterized by constant arrogance, for them this is a stable pattern of behavior.

Arrogance is a character trait of an immature personality. A mature person understands that development has no limits and realizes that in any business there can be more and less successful people.

It is necessary to understand that society exists due to the fact that some individuals complement others, those who have achieved greater success teach the less successful, and do not ridicule them. Arrogant behavior gives rise to discrimination, hostility, and aggression. At the personal level, pompous behavior can take on extreme forms, causing harm to a person’s life and health, because, trying to prove his superiority to others, an individual can work, thinning his body. And this will lead to the destruction of personality.

How to love yourself?

Give up all your everyday routine and prepare for yourself... a fragrant bath.
Use essential oils, foam, incense sticks with your favorite scent, candles. A glass of good wine will also come in handy. Lie in the bath, relax, pamper yourself. Before going to bed, it is recommended to spray the room with an unobtrusive perfume that has a pleasant, subtle aroma. Enough for a bottle of perfume to gather dust on the nightstand, waiting for the right opportunity.

Place a small bouquet or just one flower on the bedside table. Even the most simple one can lift your mood immediately after waking up. It is from such little things that this woman’s love for herself begins.

It is necessary to learn a simple truth: a woman who treats herself poorly cannot, a priori, be truly loved by those around her.

First of all , learn to truly love yourself . You should not treat this feeling as nonsense or another woman’s whim. And you shouldn’t let others think that way!

Possible reasons

Arrogant behavior begins in childhood.
There are two main groups of reasons that influence the development of arrogant behavior. The first is a defensive reaction of the human psyche, which is overcompensation for personal shortcomings, the second is the emergence of arrogance as a result of real-life successes. It follows from this that the causes of arrogance may be the following factors:

self-doubt and low self-esteem;
feelings of inferiority;
egocentrism and selfishness;
the baby is a favorite in the family, growing up, he gets used to this role;
inflated self-esteem and self-esteem, even if there are real achievements;
cultivating a number of family values, in particular the situation when a child grows up in a family where there is a high social status, and gets used to the fact that he occupies a more advantageous position in society than other people;
a person will become arrogant if others flatter him and try to please him.

Characteristic manifestations

Arrogant people always want to be the center of attention, pointing out their superiority

Pomposity can manifest itself in a number of ways.

Consumer attitude. A person expects universal recognition from others, expects that they will begin to praise him, that everyone will respect him. There is a belief that everyone has a responsibility to meet his needs. Such people are in awe of individuals who admire them and despise those who refuse to show them respect.
An arrogant person does not know how to cooperate with anyone. He cannot come to terms with the fact that they will begin to compare him with someone, equate him, because he is better.
Depreciation. This individual will not recognize someone else's individuality; he does not care about the desires and feelings of another person. If he hurts someone, he ignores this fact.
Puts himself in the highest position. He believes that he occupies the top stage of evolution. Such a person will prove that he is right, read lectures, make comments, sticking his nose into things that are not his own. He easily criticizes those who do not meet his standards, pointing out their weaknesses and failures. Constantly searches for other people's mistakes in order to point out the person's weaknesses, thereby exalting himself above him.
Always declares his own achievements. Such a person wants to talk as much as possible about himself, about what is happening to him, what he has achieved, what he has acquired, because it is important for him to be in the center of attention.
The first impression can be a pleasant one. Having met an arrogant person, you may be charmed. Such a person at the first meeting is characterized by extroversion, charisma, and sociability. However, the control data is superficial and lasts for a short period of time. In fact, it is characterized by the presence of a low degree of empathy, selfishness and contempt.
Shows off his personality, attracting everyone's attention. Such an individual can speak loudly, click his heels, put on special makeup, and do everything to hide his own insecurities.
Difficulty creating relationships. An arrogant individual scares away people around him. Who wants to be next to someone who exalts herself above others? It is also worth considering that arrogance characterizes a person as self-sufficient, therefore, such an individual does not need someone’s company. In fact, forced isolation provokes the development of serious discomfort.
Has a negative attitude towards criticism. Such people are absolutely confident that they know exactly how to act in a given situation; no one can tell them, much less tell them that they are wrong.
It is extremely difficult for such a person to ask for forgiveness; he is completely convinced that he cannot do anything bad and always does everything right. In addition, he usually blames other people for all his troubles.
He communicates only with those who “deserve his attention.”

Arrogance Arrogant

Arrogance as a personality quality is the ability to create a false impression of one’s importance through detachment from all affection, coldness and inaccessibility in relationships with others.

In other words, an inflated soap bubble, wanting to appear important, distances itself from possible collisions and declares its inaccessibility and coldness to those who want to touch it. He knows the consequences of collision and contact. Interestingly, arrogance has the root dm - to blow. So an arrogant person is an inflated person.

Arrogance, like the Snow Queen, with its coldness stops any desire to get closer, share your feelings and emotions, “cry into your vest,” and repent. The coldness and icy inaccessibility of arrogance completely discourages the desire to communicate with her. Feelings, emotions, affection and especially love are forbidden words in the vocabulary of arrogance. She hides them behind seven locks. In the manifestation of feelings and emotions, a person’s individuality and originality are revealed. From this to sympathy and affection there is one step. Fearing disappointment, arrogance distances itself from all attachment and does not allow itself to be contacted or touched. In arrogance, a person finds a safe haven from the lack of skills to behave with others directly, naturally, affably and favorably. Arrogance is the cure for shyness, shyness, awkwardness and constraint. What will be left of arrogance if she begins to be interested in others, ask them stupid questions, pay attention to them, and stops evaluating and criticizing? Zilch.

A person clearly understands that by putting on a mask of arrogance, that is, by overcoming stiffness and awkwardness, one can easily solve the issues he needs. Let us remember what impression the arrogant appearance of Kisa Vorobyaninov made on the future members of the counter-revolutionary organization “Union of Sword and Ploughshare”: “Ostap pointed his hand at Vorobyaninov: “Who do you think this powerful old man is?” Don't say, you can't know. This is a giant of thought, the father of Russian democracy and a person close to the emperor. Ippolit Matveyevich stood up to his full beautiful height... He stood with his chin raised to the ceiling, in the pose of a man preparing to march through a ceremonial march. Elena Stanislavovna sat down on a chair, looking at Ostap in fear.” After some time, Ostap Bender approached Kisa - That's it, dear patron. It seems to me that you understand me. You will have to spend an hour as a giant of thought and a special person close to the emperor. - What should I do? - Ippolit Matveevich groaned. - You must remain silent. Sometimes, for the sake of importance, puff out your cheeks. - But this is... deception. - Who is speaking? Is this Count Tolstoy speaking? Or Darwin? No. I hear this from the lips of a man who just yesterday was planning to break into Gritsatsueva’s apartment at night and steal the poor widow’s furniture. Don't overthink it. Keep quiet. And don’t forget to puff out your cheeks.”

Arrogance does not lecture anyone, does not stress anyone, and does not force anyone: “Do as I do.” It is not her intention to force something on anyone. “Go your way, just leave me alone” is her rule. She rejects another not out of disdain or contempt, but, most often, because of her mask of cold inaccessibility, behind which hides an insecure person. The warmth of people can only melt the icy wall of detachment and inaccessibility, behind which her own imperfections, weaknesses and carefully hidden feelings will appear in nakedness.

How does arrogance work? Let’s listen to Teodoro from Lope de Vega’s play “Dog in the Manger” and everything will become clear to us: Steel obeys obediently, it is flattened by the hammer. She is thrown from a fiery forge into the freezing cold. And in this torture, and in this torture, and in this repeated torture, a damask blade is born. This is how they torture my heart, inflame it with a tender gaze. But as soon as the heart gets hot, the arrogant ones are cooled down with cold.” In other words, the specificity of the impact of arrogance on other people is a “chilling coldness,” an insurmountable detachment and inaccessibility from them. For this reason, the sisters of arrogance are pretentiousness, stiffness and mannerism.

Arrogance is far from the desire to humiliate another person. Her coldness and detachment can sting, cause harm, cause indignation and indignation, but there is no conscious humiliation in arrogance. Cold is destroyed by heat. Ice is afraid of fire. A weak person will react to the external attributes of arrogance and retreat - offended and offended. A man who is a flame, melting the ice of arrogance, will only strengthen his self-esteem. Strong personalities sometimes lose their self-control because of female arrogance, it drives them crazy, excites their imagination and becomes the heroine of dreams. Faced with arrogance, a person involuntarily feels the desire to melt its icy bastions, enter its icy house and, having reached the heart, see it alive, spontaneous and interested. Behind the arrogance of the “crown of creation” of the marvelous Diana lies love: “Love, why are you torturing me? After all, I was ready to forget you, Why does your shadow come again? Cruel pain will execute my soul, Love, why are you torturing me?”

Arrogance is the masquerade costume of the false ego at the ball of life. If you look closely at her, you get the impression that she lives within herself according to her own laws. She doesn’t need anyone, she is independent from anyone - she’s just a self-sufficient person, and that’s all. Arrogance is characterized by straightforwardness, lack of obsequiousness, flattery and fawning in speeches. These are undoubtedly her strengths, which cannot clearly outweigh her weaknesses: swagger, pomposity, bragging and immodesty. The false ego of arrogance does not humiliate anyone, but, nevertheless, it verbally and non-verbally demonstrates to others that they are not equal to it, that, they say, keep your distance from me. The ego shows with all its appearance that it does not intend to bend to anyone, and does not intend to get close to anyone.

Do you think arrogance doesn’t want communication? I still want to, but at the slightest attention to her, the false ego turns on. It instantly scans another person for their social status. If he does not arouse interest in the false ego, it raises a voice: “Attention is not given to me, but is presented to me by an “unworthy” person.” Arrogance, listening to its ego, either ignores or puts the “unworthy” in its place with demonstrative coldness. No words are needed for this, it’s enough to cast a disgusted glance at him or not look at him at all, raise his eyebrows, turn up his nose, stand up and, without listening to the end, walk out with a leisurely gait. Arrogance prefers to do without words. It is a great honor to enter into dialogue. She resorts to the power of words as a last resort, when the richest arsenal of nonverbal signals of contempt does not help.

The evil riot of ego arrogance can grow to such proportions that a person will withdraw and neglect God. In Ps.9:25 it is written: “In his arrogance the wicked despises the Lord: “he will not seek”; in all his thoughts: “There is no God!” These extreme manifestations of arrogance associated with pride evoke harsh educational lessons from the balancing forces of the universe. The Bible says, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

Petr Kovalev 2013 Other articles by the author: https://www.podskazki.info/karta-statej/

How to resist arrogance

Set a goal for yourself. Why do you need to get rid of arrogant behavior? After all, you must have a clear motivation indicating the need to free yourself from arrogance.
Communicate with people, listen to their opinions, learn to evaluate not only your point of view, but also the thoughts of others.
Ask yourself, are you really as good as you think? Take a piece of paper, write down your positive and negative traits, analyze what you wrote. You can also write down different areas of activity and imagine whether you can succeed in each of them. Surely not. And this will indicate that you are not the strongest, best and smartest person in the whole world.
It is possible that you are an excellent specialist in your field. But think about it, perhaps there is an individual who is stronger. Remember that there are no irreplaceable specialists. Today it is very easy to find a replacement for any employee. It is necessary to understand that, having achieved success, taken a certain position and stopped developing, you will not continue to remain the best. Only that person will achieve real success who will listen to the criticism of other people, constantly engage in self-improvement, and do not sit in one place.
Learn to see your mistakes and analyze them.
If you have offended someone, ask for forgiveness. Be aware of other people's feelings, put yourself in their shoes, try to feel what they are feeling at the moment.
Stop focusing everyone's attention on yourself. Look at other people, evaluate their interests and problems. During a conversation, it is unacceptable to point out your superiority or show disdain for your interlocutor.
Ask your relatives and work colleagues to point out your shortcomings, as well as your strengths. Analyze what you heard, accept the fact that everyone has shortcomings and weaknesses.
Start playing board games, such as checkers or chess. By losing games, we learn humility, which means we lose arrogance.
Try to pay attention to other people, learn from them, and don’t forget to share your knowledge. Don't resort to envy.
Be polite, don't be afraid to say "please", "thank you", "sorry", and give people compliments.
Try to praise people from your surroundings as often as possible, begin to truly respect those who are close to you.

Be prepared for the fact that this path will not be so quick and easy, that it will take a lot of time to change yourself and your type of thinking.

Causes

Problems from childhood

Which means, arrogance also originates precisely from some unfinished development tasks. And it happens like this: a small person who has mastered some skills, for example, going to the toilet and not going to the potty, eating with a spoon on his own, experiences ambivalent feelings about his growing up.

On the one hand, I really want spontaneity and freedom in manifestations, which is forgiven at a younger age. On the other hand, there is the need to be like adults, who seem to be powerful and all-knowing figures.

And against the backdrop of this conflict, the little man is stuck between two poles - with whom to relate? It seems that he is no longer so stupid and helpless, but at the same time he has not mastered the necessary knowledge and skills that are characteristic of adults. Therefore, there is shame for the fact that it seems that recently I was so stupid, and also for the fact that I have not yet learned everything that more mature individuals can do.

To get rid of this unbearable shame, they resort to a mask of arrogance, mocking the weaker. Wanting to prove in this way how far they are from them in development, taking, as it were, the position of an adult. But then you get the feeling that you are out of place, so for fear of exposure you have to defend yourself and not let others get close to you. What if they realize how imperfect and primitive it is?

A way to gain recognition and understand how to behave

Now I have no desire to read a completely uninteresting book, the sun is shining outside the window, the yard boys are kicking a ball, and I really want to run to them, have fun, shout. But I need to finish my lessons. And the regulator of behavior is precisely arrogance.

What pops into my head is: “I’m better than them, because I’ll prepare for tomorrow’s topic and get a good grade, and they’ll remain stupid,” or something similar in meaning. Doesn't recognizing yourself motivate you to sit and do uninteresting things? Parents will praise you later, the teacher at school, and classmates will be jealous...

Trying to cope with growing up

In adolescence, there is a need to recognize one's difference from others. For example, what is smarter or more beautiful, stronger or better at dancing? I want to stand out, be noticed, admired, and respected.

But self-esteem may be low, and there may be a lack of knowledge about one’s personality, character and resources. Why do you have to go to extreme measures - to really stick out some of your peculiarities, even far-fetched ones, so that they will certainly notice and appreciate it. But the realization that such behavior, on the contrary, is repulsive, does not come, so such a person decides that they are simply jealous of him, and so they react incomprehensibly.

A way to defend your values

There are situations when boundaries are violated, and a person is unable to defend them, so he chooses a position such as withdrawal. Let's say you find yourself in conditions without hygiene standards. And if you yourself are a fairly clean person, then, accordingly, you will experience disgust and a feeling of disgust.

But people living in such conditions are satisfied with everything, and then they begin to accuse you of being just an arrogant person, which is why you don’t even want to sit at the same table with them. And the more often similar situations arise when a person fails to defend his space, he will increasingly develop a pattern of behavior that repels violators. The only problem is that the wall will be equally strong both for those for whom it was originally created and for everyone else.

Rules for communicating with an arrogant person

If you notice that there are arrogant people around you, learn to communicate with them correctly so as not to get on the nerves of yourself or those around you.

If you hear something offensive from such a person, you don’t need to remain silent, be sure to respond. It is necessary to understand that an arrogant person is extremely focused on her person; she does not even realize that she can offend with her words.
Tell the pompous individual that this is only his opinion and that other people may think completely differently. What he says is not the absolute truth.
If a pompous person interrupts and starts talking exclusively about himself, then say, “I apologize for having to interrupt you, but I would like to tell you something about myself.”
If a person begins to speak arrogantly about himself, tell him directly that he is exalting himself. You need to talk about this carefully, for example: “You feel like you said that too arrogantly?”

Be patient with an arrogant person; they may not know how to behave differently.

Now you know the definition of arrogance. As you can see, this character trait can manifest itself in different ways. There are many reasons that can provoke the development of arrogance. If you notice arrogant behavior in yourself, start changing. If there is a pompous person in your environment, learn to communicate with her correctly, taking into account the recommendations outlined in this article.