It’s not so easy to find a list of topics for conversation - here 3 secrets of the psychology of general, universal, interesting and non-standard questions to your interlocutor that bring people together will come in handy. Of course, you can communicate about completely different things, but it’s better to do it correctly.
Knowing what to talk about will be useful when communicating with colleagues at work, with the opposite sex, with children, teenagers. Such a list would certainly be useful in conversations with parents and older people.
The matter is complicated by the fact that each person is unique and inimitable. Each of us has a huge inner world, our own passions and interests. And for each specific person, in fact, you need your own list. Add to this completely different situations in which you can communicate with him, and for each you will need more than one such list.
In this article, you will learn how to actually get a list of topics to communicate with a particular person. And how to make the most of this list.
You need to communicate, without it it’s simply impossible to live, at least happily ever after. And, of course, you need to understand what to talk about. Therefore, without delay, let's get down to the first secret.
The Key Secret to Defining a List of Conversation Topics
I would like to warn you once again that there is simply no universal list of topics for communication for all occasions. There is no such universal list of questions that are suitable for any person.
In addition, the matter is complicated by the fact that in different situations, when communicating with different people, different topics will be relevant for this particular person. It’s one thing to have a love date, and another thing entirely to communicate, for example, in a military structure.
The key is to communicate with this person on topics that are appropriate for him. At the same time, it is productive to do this, achieving the goal. The key to this is your interest in this person. Your sincere, it should be noted, interest.
If you don’t care about this person, then no list, no cunning phrases - they will not help you really establish communication with him. Therefore, if you want to find out a list of topics for communicating with some person for evil, harmful, dishonest purposes, then this article will not be able to help you. Just forget this site, go with God - learn to live honestly.
And if you need this list of topics in order to find a truly honest understanding with another person, in order to really make strong friends with him, in order to build good, warm relationships, then this information will be useful to you.
The most important thing is genuine sincere interest in this person. This person must really be interesting to you, then you can get this very list of topics.
The main thing is to decide to go to the reception
In order for a specialist to truly help resolve an existing problem, it is important for the patient to understand how to behave with a psychologist. And first you need to decide to meet him in person. After all, it is impossible to express over the phone what can be explained well in words using eye contact.
Usually, thinking about whether to visit a psychologist can take too much time, which will be irretrievably lost. In this case, the problem may worsen, and it will be much more difficult to solve it for both the doctor and the patient. Experts say that people are often ashamed to talk about it because they are afraid of being misunderstood. However, before visiting a psychologist, you need to get unnecessary thoughts out of your head, otherwise the specialist will not be able to help his client.
There is no need to be afraid to talk about what causes fear and anxiety. Moreover, it must be remembered that severe emotional disorders do not go away on their own.
How to find questions for communication easier
To become interested in a person, pay attention to the good things in him. For example, on a cool button, on long eyelashes, on the timbre of your voice. Find something about this person that you like about him.
Depending on the situation, you can even tell him about it. This will be the best topic for communication. Tell the person what you like about him: “You are so strong, you have such muscles” - the guy will be pleased to hear this or the man nailed a shelf for you:
“Wow, how cool you hung it, your hammer drill is so powerful, how did you handle it, it’s so loud, it knocks so much, you took it so easily and drilled these holes and the shelf now looks so good, and the wallpaper is intact. You are a true master of golden hands.”
You know how this will bother any guy. Any Russian man must simply do something with his own hands, and when he does it, tell him what you liked about it. Or he didn’t even do it to you, but somewhere he bungled something good - well, praise him for it. This is a great topic for conversation.
And you liked the woman, you walk along the path and in front of you is a beautiful girl: the figure is garbage! She turns to you. Well, you glare at her, she will feel it 100% and will definitely want to know who admires her so much. So she turns around, and, can you imagine, she’s also damn cute.
Tell her this: “Girl, you are simply beautiful.” Maybe she won't kiss you on the cheek right away, maybe she won't jump into bed right away, or maybe she never will. But you will give her a good, cool day with a bright mood: she will walk and glow with happiness.
And you yourself will feel like a man, simply because you gave a compliment to a woman - you weren’t afraid to do it. You know what a joy it is to do it like a man, boldly. You said honestly what you saw for yourself.
Class hours on the prevention of juvenile delinquency
Under normal social and psychological conditions, a teenager will never become a criminal. We must not forget that juvenile delinquents are ordinary children who, as a result of improper upbringing and bad example, became delinquents.
View the contents of the document “Class hours on the prevention of delinquency among minors”
One of the most important tasks of the state as a social institution is the creation of a strong, stable society capable of active life and reproduction. Hence the increased interest of researchers in studying the current problem of the modern state (as well as society itself), on the one hand, and the search for more advanced measures to prevent crime and combat delinquency among minors, on the other.
What are they entitled to and what are they not entitled to? Without a clear answer to these questions, life turned into a complete nightmare and confusion. And people took on the solution of these Main Questions in ordinary conversations among themselves, with the help of various
We continue to be secretive
Tell the person they are awesome. What exactly is he so wonderful about - find it and tell me. And your life will turn upside down. And then you can also find something good in yourself and say: “I did it really well, I’m good at it” or “Well, I’m not that scary, I’m still wow.”
Well, do it, do you know when? Praise yourself after you find something good in another person and tell him about it. And be sure to praise yourself for it! In fact, this is the coolest topic for communication - it melts any ice.
It may seem that you can only like certain physical characteristics in another person. This is absolutely not true. The ability to think, a sense of tact, support from him, a kind look, various talents and abilities - all this can not only be liked, but also admired, and how!
Then ask how things are going for him in general: How is your life? What do you hear? How are you feeling today? Most often, at first they answer something standard: “Fine” - in a dead voice. Or he comes happy, all glowing, but also says: “It’s normal.” And it’s clear from the emotions that things are going well.
If you are just interested in this person. At work, for example, you have a guy who knows how to do something great, so ask: “How do you do it?” Well, it will make you worse if you find out. Or: “How did you manage to learn such skill?” He will be happy to tell you this.
Topics of conversations on the prevention of delinquency among minors
It is better to come to various kinds of youth gatherings (parties) not alone, but with close, trusted friends. You have to leave with them, no matter how great the desire to dance and have fun. In the old noble etiquette there was a recommendation “not to give a reason.” This recommendation today constitutes the first condition for a girl’s safe behavior.
Topics of conversations on the prevention of delinquency among minors
Under the influence of alcohol, first of all, such personality qualities as restraint, politeness, the ability to adapt personal desires to the requirements of the team are lost, rudeness and disregard for generally accepted norms of behavior and morality appear. Alcoholic excesses of minors are also ways of “adult” self-affirmation, leisure time, and free communication. Among teenagers, gang crimes are becoming increasingly common. They definitely need spectators, an audience, actions in front of it and this constitutes the essence of group alcoholic excess. The need for “adult” self-affirmation encourages participation in group alcoholic excesses, which can result in crimes.
September Kl. leaders 3 Monitoring the attendance and progress of these students, examining their living conditions. during the year Cl. leaders 4 Individual conversations with students prone to crime.
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Common topic of conversation in Russia
Just be interested in the person. In fact, these topics are not just a list, there are a billion of them for each specific person. Just take an interest in him, his life, childhood, youth, school, college, army: how he got out of the army, how he served in the army. Or, for example, his family, his children. Wow, children... Children are a fantastic number of topics!
For every Russian person, even if his nationality says something different in his passport, but if he speaks Russian, then he really is Russian. Russian is a language, a culture, and a society - it is a whole worldview. Who was the grandfather of Pushkin, the great Russian genius? The Negro is Peter the Great's arap.
For him, children, his child, are the most valuable thing in life. Ask about his children. Carefully, of course, because maybe he doesn’t have children yet or something else. But if there are kids, and he doesn’t mind talking about them, then it’s a bomb.
How can you make a list? Talk to him about his children: “What kind of child do you have: a boy or a girl?” And if he has several children, then it is not clear what question to ask.
What to talk about with a specialist
How to behave with a psychologist so that the meeting is most fruitful? Usually, under such circumstances, everything turns upside down in the head, fear, excitement and anxiety overcome. In this case, you just need to calm down.
In addition, every person should remember that a competent psychologist will ask him the right questions. Therefore, you should not go over the dialogue with a specialist in your head in advance.
If, after the first session of communication with a doctor, a person felt that he could not understand him and, moreover, the conversation simply did not work out, then he should seek help from another specialist. Because in practice it often happens that not every psychologist with a higher education diploma is a professional who can help people solve their problems. This must be remembered, and the first failed attempt should in no case stop a person.
Psychology of questions that bring people together
But if you really want to understand this person, find out without any hidden things, and then use this to collect information - this, of course, is vile. And if you really want to live in peace with people, you want life to be better: both yours and his, another person’s, then just take a trivial interest in his life, in himself.
You, too, can tell a lot of things about yourself - how long you have lived in the world, how many different situations there have been, because someone wants to tell about them. It’s not always possible for someone to listen to you, but you want to tell and you also want to open your soul to someone.
Being a loner is hard, and it’s not the Russian way. Our country is strong because we know how to find a common language with a variety of people, with a variety of nations. We live on this part of the land together, amicably. Well, how friendly, because when a husband and wife live, they sometimes quarrel, but, nevertheless, they still live together and love each other.
There are a lot of different peoples in our country and Russians understand everything, for some reason. Wherever you go, in Ukraine they will understand you perfectly in Russian. And so on anywhere in the vastness of the USSR. Why? Because people know how to be friends. They value the fact that they can communicate with each other.
Our different peoples have different inclinations in terms of professions: they like to do something more, something less. They have their own tricks, skills, abilities, talents. It’s cool when there are a lot of cozy cafes, for example, in the city - someone has to be able to run them. If this is passed down from father to son and beyond, great.
Human behavior
Even those people who agree to go for a consultation with a specialist may stop only because they do not know how to communicate with a psychologist. Here it is important to tune in so that the doctor behaves as freely and comfortably as possible. You can talk about yourself standing or sitting down. Sometimes psychologists even suggest lying on the sofa in their office and relaxing.
The most important thing is that you should not be embarrassed to tell a specialist what you want, what seems very important and exciting. You need to be yourself.
In certain situations, a person can even remain silent if it is easier for him, or directly say that he does not know where to start his story. Usually, in this case, the psychologist himself begins to ask him questions to which he would like to receive answers. This helps to find the key to solving a complex problem.
When lists are no longer needed
It is the interest in a specific person that gives rise to an understanding of what to talk to him about. Well, for example, parents - what to talk about with elderly parents? I worked with one guy, a very cool specialist, and in general a person who had seen a lot of things.
He told such wisdom: when the son is still a child, then for him the father is so strong, he can do anything. Then he becomes young, fills with strength, the sea is knee-deep to him and he begins to look at his father completely differently: what he was able to achieve in life - nothing at all.
And then, when he himself has children, the children grow up... He begins to look at his father completely differently, he understands that my father is, damn it, he is strong, he’s crazy, how much good he has done in life. He's already starting to see what's what.
And what to talk about? How did you live in general, what was good and what was bad? What happened then, and why? You begin to understand this person a little. How did you meet your mother, dad? And suddenly your loved one, your dear loved one, opens up to you. And he suddenly begins to be even closer to you.
Or, for example, you have some classmate, classmate - you can really become friends with him if you just take an interest in him, his life, hobbies, family. Usually people are happy to tell.
And then the most interesting thing happens: then people also begin to be interested in you. Bang, and suddenly he starts asking about you. And here communication begins not just one way, this is already full-fledged communication - the locomotive has started moving.
Then no lists of questions or topics for communication are completely needed. You have already begun to understand this person, you have already gotten on his wavelength. And he's on yours. You have already begun to communicate as human beings, experiencing genuine interest in each other. Cool, keep doing it.
Conversation between a teacher-psychologist and students in grades 6-7
Conversation on the topic: “Empathy is the basis of interaction” (for students in grades 6-7)
Goal: development of tolerant communication skills. Objectives: 1. Develop empathy skills. 2. Create conditions for the formation of the desire for self-knowledge. 3. Contribute to the development of communication skills, the ability to listen, express your point of view, come to a compromise solution and understand other people. Equipment: forms for drawing up a “rainy day” memo, pencils, album sheets cut in half, a drawing of a tree, paper leaves of a tree according to the number of participants, glue.
Organization of space: Children sit at a round table. Progress of the class hour.
I am glad to welcome you all!
To make our communication today successful, prepare a good mood, a desire to speak out, and a positive attitude towards each other. Now let's play a little. The guys are invited to play a very simple game. You need to count to ten. But the whole group must do this. The first participant says “one”, the second says “two”, etc. There is only one problem - if the participants say the number at the same time, the group starts over. During the entire game, any conversations are prohibited. Discussion: • how did the game start? • what did everyone want at first? • why didn’t anything work at first? • how did you manage to count to ten? • did a leader appear in the group or did order form on its own? • what does this game teach us? 2. Reading a Chinese parable about patience
A class is a small family.
And I would like peace, respect and mutual understanding to reign in our family. What is needed for this? Listen to the parable and you will understand everything. The ruler turned to the famous hermit sage with a request for advice on how to achieve universal happiness and prosperity. He promised to answer after a while. A month later, he told the emperor's envoys that the answer was not ready. The same thing happened six months later. A year later, the angry ruler ordered an answer or the execution of the sage for mockery. The hermit gave the tablets, and they were brought to the emperor. The same word was written on them 365 times. The angry emperor ordered the sage to be taken to the palace and asked: “Why only one word and why did it take him a whole year to write it all.” The sage replied that it took him a year to understand what was written, and for the emperor to be able to read his advice. • What word did the sage write? (PATIENCE). • Raise your hand if you think you have this quality in abundance. • Give examples of when you have demonstrated it. • How did you feel? • Is it easy to be tolerant? 3. The psychologist invites the children to complete the phrases:
• Forgiveness is... • When I am denied my request, I... • When I am forced to refuse someone’s request, I... 4.
“Who praises himself best or a reminder for a “rainy day” “
The psychologist starts a conversation about how each person experiences bouts of blues, a “sour” mood, when it seems that you are worthless in this life, nothing is working out for you.
At such moments, you somehow forget all your own achievements, victories, abilities, joyful events. But each of us has something to be proud of. There is such a technique in psychological counseling. The psychologist, together with the person who contacts him, draws up a memo in which the merits, achievements, and abilities of this person are recorded. During attacks of bad mood, reading the memo gives vigor and allows you to evaluate yourself more adequately. The psychologist invites the children to do similar work. Participants are given forms with tables in which they must independently fill out the following columns. “My Best Traits”: In this column, participants should write down the traits or features of their character that they like about themselves and constitute their strengths. “My abilities and talents”: abilities and talents in any area that a person can be proud of are recorded here. “My achievements”: this column records the participant’s achievements in any area. The psychologist, at his own discretion (depending on the level of trust in the group), invites group members to read their notes. The completed reminders remain with the children. 5. “A piggy bank of grievances”
What to do with “current” grievances?
It is important to be able to express your grievances. But you cannot take revenge on other people: this does not solve the problem, but aggravates it. How should you treat the offender? Students discuss and come to the conclusion that they need to be able to forgive insults. The children are invited to draw a “Box of Grievances” and put in it all the grievances that they have experienced before. After this, a discussion is held: what to do with this piggy bank? The psychologist talks about the futility of accumulating grievances. Self-pity is a bad habit. (The piggy banks go into the trash bin.) 6. Drawing up rules of communication.
We often offend others, but not because we want to offend them, but because we do not always understand their actions or thoughts.
Therefore, in communication you should adhere to certain rules: Children independently formulate and write down the rules on pieces of paper in the form of tree leaves, and then attach them to an image of a tree placed on the board. Sample answers: 1) Talk about others only when asked. 2) When talking about your feelings for another person, talk about what his words and actions caused them, do not talk about the person as a whole. 3) Speak in such a way as not to offend or offend the other person. 4) Don't give ratings. 5) Don't give advice. Words: “If I were you...”; “You must...” is prohibited. 7. Reflection.
Practical tasks for discussion in groups (3 groups). Using the rules of tolerant communication, give a constructive answer to your interlocutor.
Situation 1 . A friend refuses to comply with your request. Situation 2. Your friend doesn’t return the book, but you really need it now. Situation 3 . Your neighbor accuses you of leaving rubbish. Situation 4 . While communicating with classmates, a friend unexpectedly interrupts and starts a conversation on a different topic. Situation 5 . A classmate used your mobile phone without permission. Situation 6. A friend is rude and refuses to discuss a family problem with you. 8. Exercise in the “Impulse” circle
The psychologist invites students to remember a situation when each of them experienced a feeling of resentment and disappointment.
He invites them to return to this state, then join hands in a circle. Through a handshake in a circle, a “light of support” comes to everyone. This support is addressed to everyone and comes from everyone. 9. Summing up.
Today we learned to be patient and forgive insults. I hope that you will use the knowledge gained in today's lesson in your everyday communication. Thanks everyone! See you again! Literature 1. Devina I. You and I are of the same blood // School psychologist - 2009.-No. 20 2. Ostapenko A. Stubbornly darning the riddled fabric of goodness // Educational work at school. - 2009. - No. 4. 3. Soldatova, G.U. Living in peace with yourself and others: tolerance training for teenagers / G.U. Soldatova, L.A. Shaigerova, O.D. Sharova - M: Genesis, 2000. 4. Shchurkova N.E. Classroom guide: game techniques. – M.: Pedagogical Society of Russia. 5. Rozhkov M.I., Bayborodova L.V., Kovalchuk M.A.. Cultivating tolerance among schoolchildren. Yaroslavl, 2003. 6. Soldatova G.U., Shalgerova L.A., Sharova O.D. Living in peace with yourself and others. Tolerance training for teenagers. 7. Training for the development of life goals. Program of psychological assistance to social adaptation. St. Petersburg, 2001.
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