How not to be a hypocrite to yourself

A hypocrite is a cunning and insincere person. He pretends to be kind and enjoys the trust of others.

Such a person is sincere with some people, but laughs evilly at others. Likes to gossip behind one's back.

Hypocrite - who is it?

Ostentatious simplicity is subtle hypocrisy.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

1. How can you tell if you are a hypocrite?
2. How to react to a hypocritical person?
3. How to deal with hypocrisy within yourself?

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What does "hypocrite" mean?

The etymology of the word is immediately clear: “trying on faces” means hiding one’s real face. In ancient Rome, this was the name given to actors who actually wore and changed masks with grimaces painted on them. Today, a hypocrite is an insincere, two-faced person who does not say what he really thinks, for the sake of achieving some of his goals or unconsciously. In other words, hypocrisy is a discrepancy between words and actions and true judgments and feelings.

Hypocrite

Characteristics of a Hypocrite

The pretender discovers the weaknesses of the partner (interlocutor), after which he uses fears and pain points to his advantage. He often changes his views, revises moral norms and values for the sake of momentary gain. Two-faced people hide insincerity and hypocrisy under the guise of goodwill.

This is an instinct that has allowed humanity to survive, but not everyone has such an ability to become dominant. Every person at least once in his life did something different from what he said he would do. After such actions, many admit the mistake and try to correct it. A two-faced person does not experience pangs of conscience. Being a subtle psychologist, he regrets his action only when the game is revealed.

How to recognize a hypocrite?

Intuitively, we all have a good sense of who hypocrites are, but there are a number of signs that instantly indicate the insincerity of the person in front of you:

Tendency to gossip . If a completely friendly interlocutor at some point begins to say nasty things about mutual friends, know that he will say the same thing about you behind your back. What kind of sincerity are we talking about here?
Ingratiating yourself with those in power . As soon as someone influential, popular or higher in rank appears in the field of view, does the acquaintance's behavior change to servile and flattering? Probably such a two-faced person seeks to gain some benefit from someone else’s status.
Unkept promises . You can easily and quickly win the favor of others by promising them all sorts of benefits. Having received momentary recognition, the undertaken obligations must be fulfilled. This is what hypocritical politicians often do.
A strained smile and tension in the voice . Feigned friendliness can be seen in a smile, in which only the lips smile, but not the eyes.

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Understand yourself

Think about what kind of person you see yourself as.
Make an internal portrait and try to be as honest with yourself as possible. Write down all the qualities that you observe in your character, and indicate exactly how this or that trait manifests itself. Examples are necessary to protect you from the temptation to embellish your own personality a little. When you're done with your self-portrait, start composing another image. You will be here too, only not as you see yourself from the inside, but as you think those around you perceive you. See how different the compiled images are. If you have not been disingenuous to yourself during this exercise, the images will certainly differ. After all, an individual living in society cannot fully open up to others and bare his soul to strangers, sometimes indifferent people. To do this, you need to have great internal freedom, and this is not given to everyone.

Admit to yourself that you want to appear better to members of society, and think about what goals you are pursuing. Be open when talking to yourself and don’t be afraid to demonstrate a desire to please others at any cost just because of vanity, the desire to satisfy your exorbitant ambitions through work, but not to realize yourself as a person. Honesty will benefit you. This way you will understand yourself better and make plans for the future.

Why are people so hypocritical?

You may have noticed that you behave differently in different conditions: at work you are limited by office rules, at home you are relaxed, and with friends you joke and show off. It is natural to adapt to the situation, but some people, when adapting, lose their principles and beliefs for the sake of profit. A two-faced hypocrite is ready to go over his head, change his views and rhetoric, just to present himself in the right light at the current moment.

However, lying and pretense do not always indicate an evil nature or a conscious desire to deceive. It happens that hypocrisy, as a moral quality, forms a kind of protection from the outside world. Insincerity arises in response to the fear of not being accepted, not meeting other people's expectations, not fitting into generally accepted norms. Hypocritically presenting yourself as someone you are not is the only way out.

What is hypocrisy?

The word “hypocrisy” first appeared in the era of Ancient Rome. In those days, it was used to refer to stage actors who literally put on masks (faces) to portray various characters on stage.

In the modern interpretation, hypocrisy is the behavior of a person in which his words and actions do not correspond to his true beliefs and feelings. Synonyms of this word in Russian are lies, duplicity, hypocrisy, pretense, slyness, falsehood.

Nowadays, the characteristic “two-faced” is applied to an insincere person who hides his malicious intentions and negative attitude towards others under the mask of external goodwill.

According to psychologists, a modern hypocrite is a skilled manipulator who perfectly senses the weaknesses of his interlocutor and plays on his pain points, fears, and prejudices.

In simple words, this is insincerity in views and judgments. A hypocritical person often changes his views and positions depending on immediate gain. Hypocrisy is based either on fear or on the desire to be better than other people.

Every person (who is this?) has the ability to adapt to the situation . In different situations you need to behave differently. This is a natural instinct and it is this line of behavior that allowed the generation to survive. There's nothing you can do about it.

But the hypocrite raises this natural ability to its apogee and uses it one hundred percent for purely selfish purposes. On the other hand, every person has been two-faced at least once in his life in order to avoid some unpleasant and difficult situations. The main thing is that this does not become your prevailing line of behavior.

Where does hypocrisy occur?

You can encounter hypocrisy anywhere, for example:

In trade . Advertising, marketing gimmicks, online sales and pyramid schemes are all filled with hypocrisy. Convincing the consumer that your product is very necessary and the best on the market is a talent that has little to do with sincerity.
In politics . They say that there is no place for principles in this area; only momentary interest rules there. The struggle for voters in the election race and the neglect of their needs after the elections clearly show us who the hypocritical politician is.
At work . Intrigue and the struggle to move up the career ladder with feigned friendliness - who is unfamiliar with this?
In the immediate vicinity , unfortunately. An insincere person can also be found among loved ones, having been admitted there through negligence. Such people provide us with bitter experience, but also teach us not to make mistakes in the future.

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How to deal with hypocrites?

In order to protect yourself from disappointment, do not expect sincerity from the hypocrite. Realizing that this is a cunning person in front of you, beware of opening your soul to him or sharing your professional plans. When hypocrisy is unconscious, there is a chance to break through this armor: ask your interlocutor sudden questions of a personal nature - from surprise, truthful answers break through and complexes that provoke insincerity and hypocrisy become obvious, amenable to correction. Catching a deceiver in a lie is also an effective method of protecting against his further attempts to deceive.

How to expose a hypocrite?

A person who lies but knows the truth is by default in tension, trying to adhere to the legend. In this state, he can easily be driven to slips of the tongue that reveal insincerity. Psychologists advise using the following techniques for this:

increase the voltage . Ask to retell a story you doubt about backwards, ask about the smallest details, or start questioning while the other person is concentrating on something else (for example, driving a car). The brain, already stressed by lies, will not cope with the additional load and will produce contradictory information.
Talk a liar out . Create a relaxed atmosphere, start a conversation on abstract topics, make sure that the mask of the hypocrite falls off, and then take on the questions of interest. It's hard to lie in a relaxed state.

How to stop being a hypocrite?

It’s easy to judge others, but sometimes you end up catching yourself in systematic insincerity. Is there any reason to believe that others consider him a hypocrite and label him a “hypocrite”? It's time to reconsider your attitudes and be conscious of your own behavior:

Allow yourself to be who you think you need to be, and push other people's expectations away.
Determine which stereotypes interfere with freedom and work through them, perhaps even with a specialist.
Think about how you can achieve your goals without resorting to lies.
Find out what “hypocrite” means, and understand whether you really want to be like that?

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How to become a hypocrite?

The easiest way to become a hypocrite is to put on the crown of a moralist and go teach others not to lie, using yourself as an example. Life is not black and white, there is a place for white lies, misfires of good people, noble deeds of scoundrels. Calling yourself a model of piety while denying the possibility of your own wrongness is nothing more than hypocritical behavior. Focus on self-improvement and do not rush to call your neighbor a hypocrite without understanding the context.

How to Deal with Hypocrites

I want to give some tips on how to communicate with hypocrites in order to protect yourself as much as possible from possible consequences:

Don't discuss other people.
Maintain a clear position when discussing an issue. Feel free to express your opinion.
Practice self-improvement. Let every new business you do be better than the previous one.
When speaking, look your interlocutor straight in the eyes.
Resist the temptation to engage in dubious activities that are contrary to moral principles.
Don’t let anyone find your weak points - don’t be frank with everyone!

From time immemorial, hypocrisy has been condemned by society and leading religious denominations, but it has never been possible to completely eradicate this evil. Perhaps this is the human essence - not to be “straight as a rail” in relationships with people. We show flexibility, sparing the feelings of our loved ones, but omissions are also a sign of hypocritical behavior. We will never tell a friend that we saw her husband with another woman, but we can let slip about his behavior among friends.

Let's discuss this sensitive topic together on my blog page. Therefore, I do not say goodbye to you, but say: “See you soon!”, my dear readers.