Slava Profina 06/20/2018 no comments
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In the 21st century, human life is subject to stress, so it is full of various phobias. We constantly have to face problems and the need to solve them not only at the everyday level, but also at school, at work, and in society. To find a way out of controversial issues and conflicts, it is necessary to find a balanced and rational approach. One of the most common fears of humanity is decidophobia.
Possible reasons
- The parent’s desire to provide help to the child even where it is not required.
- Excessive guardianship, organizing life in such a way that the adult himself solves all the problems of his child. Painful fear of overly caring for the child.
- Dictatorship, parental demand for unquestioning obedience, imposition of opinions and their views on life, prohibition on choosing an activity (an adult himself chooses a hobby or a group of interests without taking into account the child’s opinion).
- Excessive criticism for mistakes and nagging, as a result of which children lose the desire to act.
- Labels: “you can’t do anything”, “you can’t handle it”. Over time, the child accepts such attitudes and believes in them.
- Encouragement to accept the majority opinion.
The development of will is also influenced by the general atmosphere in the family. If, due to life circumstances (divorce, death of her husband), the character of the child’s mother has changed dramatically, from an affectionate woman she has turned into a demanding parent, the baby experiences severe stress. Being confused, not understanding what is happening and not knowing how to act in unfamiliar circumstances, the child may prefer silent submission to the elder.
Other causes of decidophobia
A persistent fear of choice can also be observed in people with normally developed will. Pathologically
How to stop being afraid of making wrong decisions?
It's no secret that action is one of the most important steps to success in any business, no matter how difficult it may be and no matter how dangerous it may seem. But in order to take action, you need to make a decision. For some people, this is actually easy: they make decisions and take action. They make mistakes, but they continue to act, again and again, until they succeed and find the right strategy or path.
For most other people, taking the step from thinking to making a decision, especially if their fate depends on this decision, does not seem to be the easiest task - they are faced with the fear that their decision will turn out to be wrong. So they begin to fear making decisions. Although in reality, no one is afraid of making a decision, as such, we are afraid that it will turn out to be wrong.
We never know what awaits us around the next corner, we are afraid that the next turn may be fatal for us, and we are literally frozen in place when faced with the need to make a decision about which way we will turn at the next intersection. It seems that sometimes it is much easier to wait until the current itself takes us in the right direction. But it doesn’t always take you where you need to, and not where you would like.
What to do? Constantly trusting fate? Or take our life into our own hands and begin to create in it the things that we want for ourselves, begin to attract into it the kind of people with whom we enjoy communicating and being around? Again a choice, and again the need to make a decision, but mentally you already know what you will choose. All that remains is to get rid of the fear of making decisions so that there are no problems with this in the future.
First of all, let's define that the fear of making a decision can be real and far-fetched. So, some fears really have their reasons, for example, if the decision being made may turn out to be fatal and involves a risk to life - in this case, you should think a thousand times before deciding to take a risk.
Most of our fears associated with decision-making are irrational. It is our imagination that paints us pictures of the gloomy future that awaits us if we commit this or that act. Although, nothing like this may happen, and most likely everything will be exactly the opposite - your decision will turn out to be correct, and you will take another step towards your success. Let's look at a few tips that can help you overcome your decision-making fears.
How to stop being afraid of wrong decisions?
1. Calculate the risks.
When faced with the need to make an important decision, we usually begin to experience a lot of fears: “What if we don’t burn out?”, we think. Or, even worse, we imagine negative images of more serious consequences for ourselves. But, most of our fears, in this case, are not based on real threats and do not have a solid foundation, which means that we can dispel them, at least by simply calculating the risks. Take a deep breath and try to take a sober look at the situation and calculate all the possible risks associated with making a particular decision. In most cases, you will find that the decision you make poses no real threat to you.
2. Develop positive thinking.
If you are bothered by an intrusive stream of negative thoughts whenever you are faced with a decision, you should consider developing positive thinking. You need to teach your mind to see life in brighter colors and in a positive light, change your beliefs about yourself and the world around you. Make yourself believe that you are able to cope with any, even the most difficult tasks and that, having set a goal, you will definitely achieve it, and nothing will stop you on this path. Inspire and inspire yourself to new victories and boldly make a decision.
3. Expand your comfort zone.
Each of us has our own comfort zone - this is the area of places, situations and people in which we consider being in and communicating with as a safe activity. Everything that is outside this zone is less safe or dangerous for us, therefore, being behind them, we experience fear and discomfort. On the other hand, being inside our comfort zone, we do not develop and do not learn new things. Development occurs when we are on the edge and partially leave our comfort zone, gradually increasing the number of situations and places that are safe for our perception. Decision making is also outside our comfort zone, but the wider our comfort zone, the easier it is for us to cope with the task of decision making.
4. Take a proactive step forward.
If you feel like you are about to give up on making a decision and retreat, take a step forward. Do it against your will, despite the fear and doubt you experience, believe me, it will make you stronger. Stop the endless whining of your inner critic, if now you have to learn courage in making decisions, it means that in the past your critic did nothing but prevent you from achieving success, which means you should not listen to him in everything and always. If you don't take the risk, you will probably regret it all your life, thinking about how this decision could have brought you happiness. So, if you have doubts, take a step forward and you will see that it is not as scary as you thought at first!
5. Act immediately.
If you are faced with a task that could lead you to success if only you could muster the strength to make a decision, do it immediately. Don't procrastinate because every time you put off the task, you become accustomed to it remaining undone, you become less determined to do it, and you lose interest in the task. But such a strategy is tantamount to refusing to complete the task. Instead, make a decision and act immediately - as soon as a task appears in front of you that requires completion, this is especially true for those tasks that you will have to do anyway.
6. Compete boldly.
Competition in our world is a natural form of relationship between representatives of the human and animal worlds, expressed in rivalry or struggle for a place in the sun. Don’t be afraid of this, develop an interest in competition, because at the current level of human development, we cannot escape competition. You will always have to develop, become stronger, smarter, faster than someone else, otherwise someone else will take your place. Perhaps this scares you, but look at the situation differently: if you do not develop, you degrade and lose interest in life. Healthy competition might be necessary even in a world of absolutely equal people. But never, ever compare yourself to other people - the only person you can be better than is yourself, engage in self-development and strive for success.
7. Turn to faith.
For many people, faith is a means of consolation during loss, strengthening in the face of difficulties, inspiration for heroic deeds, healing in illness and calm in moments of anxiety. By turning to God, a person can strengthen his heart and soul in order to boldly walk along the road of life, in which we have to experience joy, sadness, pain and doubt. But through prayer, a person can rid himself of doubts and fears and boldly begin to make decisions. Fear is common to all living things, but it should not be so much that it prevents you from achieving success and happiness in life. Therefore, if you are a believer, use your faith to get rid of your fear of making life-changing decisions, even if they may turn out to be wrong.
The ability to quickly make a decision and act, even if you are not entirely sure that you are making the right decision, is one of the key decisions for achieving success in life. No one has ever achieved success without taking a single action or making a single decision. And this is just one of the benefits of bold decision-making that you will experience when you let go of your irrational fears and begin to take action and create the world around you that you want it to be. Good luck to you and see you soon on the pages of our metodorf website. ru. Soon you will find here even more interesting and useful articles for your self-development.
Manifestation of decidophobia
A person suffering from this anxiety disorder experiences strong emotional stress directly when it is necessary to make a decision or when thinking that the moment will come when it is necessary to make a choice. However, a decidophobe can be completely calm when thinking about approaches to a problem and when considering various options for the development of events.
Most people suffering from decidophobia do not worry when they have to make minor everyday choices (for example, which store to go to). Decidophobes often focus the attention of others on this “ability” to make decisions.
However, severe cases of the disorder are known, in which, due to pathological fear, people are unable to independently solve basic everyday problems . In such circumstances, the patient needs a permanent guardian.
In most cases, decidophobes adapt well to life in society.
People suffering from the disorder prefer positions where decisions are made by superiors or proactive colleagues. In family life, decidophobes voluntarily become dependent on their partner. Phobiaphobic men may prefer strong, older women. Representatives of the fairer sex, who do not know how to make decisions, choose caring, enterprising and strong-willed men as life partners.
About decidophobia
In severe forms of decidophobia, it is extremely difficult for a person to make decisions even in small everyday issues
Decidophobia is much more common than is commonly believed. This disorder is often viewed as a form of infantilism, because an adult with such a disorder refuses to make any decision on his own. In mild forms, this phobia manifests itself as fear of making vital decisions that can really affect a person’s fate. In general, such a reaction is not surprising, and is often present in naturally indecisive people.
However, in severe forms, the phobia becomes a real problem, as the person experiences difficulties in making any decisions, even small and insignificant ones. As a result, it is easier for him to shift responsibility to another person, a close relative or spouse, and trust him completely.
Interestingly, this phobia is very common in mild forms. It mainly affects young people who are just starting to live on their own. Decidophobia in this case is more of an age-related feature and goes away as one gets older, but sometimes it stays with a person for life, changing his character and lifestyle.
Specifics of the disease
It is generally accepted that the phobia applies only to making important decisions. For example, a person cannot understand what to do in life, and shifts the choice of educational institution to his parents. Many do not even realize that they have become a victim of a mental disorder, convincing themselves that their parents will be able to better determine their future fate.
However, in severe forms, the phobia can make itself felt in any everyday situations. The fear of making decisions in such cases manifests itself in any situation in which a person is faced with a choice. This can reach the point of absurdity, causing a person to panic when he does not know what task to take on first - washing the dishes or the floor. Of course, this is an exaggerated example, but more severe cases are known in psychiatric practice.
In general, this phobia is manifested by the following symptoms:
- feeling of panic when making a decision;
- strong fear of consequences for making the wrong choice;
- emotional experiences;
- obsessive fear.
The person is in constant anxiety that he will do something wrong
Interestingly, the responsibility of making a decision can become an obsessive thought. Thus, the patient may feel that he made the wrong choice, and this choice will torment him for a long time, depriving him of sleep and exhausting the nervous system.
Patients with such a phobia are quite infantile, lack self-confidence, and often lack initiative. However, decidophobia is very insidious, and gradually changes a person’s personality in such a way that the patient himself begins to accept this disorder as a character trait. As a result, among adult men there are so-called “henpecked” men who completely trust their spouse to make any important decisions, and apathetic wives who do everything their husband says.
Decidophobia kills all a person’s ambitions, preventing them from climbing the career ladder.
This seemingly mild phobia has the greatest impact on work activities. A person who cannot make decisions and take responsibility for them will never make a good career and will forever remain in the position of a subordinate or handyman. Such people need clear instructions in the work sphere, since they cannot make a choice on their own due to an unstable mental state.
Reasons for development
Decidophobia has its roots in deep childhood. The main reason for this violation lies in upbringing. This is the kind of phobia faced by children of powerful, authoritarian parents who have always said that only they know what will be best for the child.
A fairly common educational practice is to interrupt any endeavors and destroy the child’s ideas, based on one’s own experience. From parents you can often hear the phrase “you don’t know how to do it” and “you’ll still do it wrong.” These phrases, harmless for an adult, are serious anchors in raising children, which remain deeply in a person’s subconscious and can influence his entire future life.
Overprotection on the part of parents makes the child indecisive and lacking initiative. The child does not want and cannot do something on his own, because any of his actions will be perceived negatively, and he is not ready for criticism. The inability to accept criticism is another character trait of decidophobes.
Another reason for the development of a phobia is a wrong decision made in the past. Usually we are talking about some situations that entailed tragic and psychologically traumatic consequences for the child. As a result, a person programs himself in advance to make a mistake, and therefore prefers not to make a decision. Very often this phobia is accompanied by a fear of making a mistake or doing the wrong thing, which is part of the symptom complex of social phobia.
Consequences of a phobia
Such people often become regulars in religious groups
The fear of making decisions transforms into a hidden phobia, which is invisible at first glance. People with such psychopathology quite often manage to build a life taking into account their fear. They make good employees, provided that the boss makes all the decisions and tells in detail what needs to be done and how. Men often make excellent husbands for authoritarian women, and women with such a phobia are perceived by men as individuals with a fine mental organization.
Decidophobes are regular clients of fortune tellers, psychics and astrologers. A person with such a disorder can find solace in religion, so patients often become members of fanatical sects, in which it is customary to adhere to a strict set of rules.
Thus, this phobia can even destroy a person’s life, so it is necessary to fight it both on your own and with the help of a psychotherapist.
Consequences of decidophobia
With decidophobia, a person prefers to “go with the flow” and chooses a strategy of waiting it out. People who are susceptible to fear hope that the problem that has arisen will be resolved on its own or with the help of an outsider. This is what makes decidophobes turn to psychics, magicians and fortune tellers for help.
Phobia makes a person an easy prey for religious propagandists and sects.
The manifestation of decidophobia turns into a completely driven personality; the phobia does not allow development and self-realization. In some cases, this causes a feeling of worthlessness. Self-confidence is completely lost.
What does it represent?
In principle, every person has ever experienced uncertainty, confusion, anxiety and even horror before having to decide what to do next.
Especially if an extremely important issue had to be resolved. Let’s say you choose a profession, change your place of residence, job, or even tie the knot.
And it is quite natural that at such moments doubts arise about whether I will make the right choice?
After all, this will affect the rest of your life, changing it radically. And it is impossible to predict in which direction, better or worse.
But a person who has no history of mental illness will somehow try to cope with the situation.
If he is internally mature and decisive, he will listen to his desires, try to assess the likely problems and finally make a choice.
Anyone who is accustomed to avoiding responsibility and simply going with the flow will wait for the moment when everything will be resolved by itself. Or he will try to shift this work onto the shoulders of loved ones.
But a decidophobe can lose consciousness from fright. It seems that actions that are familiar to us, in terms of making decisions, cause him to have a panic attack.
And they force you to run without looking back in search of a safe place. Where you don’t have to think, weigh the pros and cons, and so on.
Treatment of decidophobia
Decidophobia can be treated, but getting rid of this disorder is a long process. Often psychologists begin to work with a patient only if the decision about treatment was made by the patient himself . Such a step can be very difficult for a patient, so he needs constant support from relatives.
When treating the disease, the following are used:
- therapeutic methods,
- hypnosis,
- relaxation methods,
- methods that teach emotion management skills,
- medications (if it is necessary to stop intense attacks of fear)
As an independent work, you can take active actions:
- Imagine only the best scenarios for the development of events, think positively about the future.
- Communicate more with brave, strong and energetic people.
- If the issue is successfully resolved, praise yourself.
- Try not to exaggerate the significance of the problem.
- Overcoming yourself, participate in situations that cause discomfort.
- Stay active even if you make a mistake.
Learn to recognize common cognitive biases
They are very deeply rooted, and you can’t just overcome them. And it’s difficult to learn everything by heart; there are more than a hundred thinking traps. But you can start by studying the most common ones; we described them in our book. Return to the description from time to time, so you will gradually remember the signs of various cognitive distortions and learn to recognize them in your thoughts.
Try to track which traps you fall into most often. And before you make a decision or make a judgment about a situation, ask yourself if your brain has lured you into one of them.
Making decisions using the Cartesian square
If there is an urgent need to decide on a goal, and there is no reliable adviser nearby, then the “Descartes Square” decision-making . This technique allows you to consider an exciting issue from four sides, see the best option and hear yourself.
Descartes square looks like this:
A doubtful person needs to answer the questions posed in detail point by point. Recording the positive and negative consequences of an action (or inaction) will help you see which scenario is the most
Fear of making mistakes
This fear is directly related to the search for the “ideal solution”, which does not exist.
As a result, any option seems erroneous and leads to unfavorable consequences. However, if you give up the ideal and learn to separate the important from the paramount, you will be able to overcome fear. Indecisiveness can be caused by anxiety. Some people are held back by the fear of making the wrong decision and suffering the consequences or remorse. Worry about error and feelings of guilt, omission, exposure, or ignorance are common. Sometimes people are paralyzed by the fear of hurting or alienating others.
The first thing to do if you are having trouble making decisions is to see if you are depressed. Helplessness, hopelessness, anhedonia (lack of pleasure), fatigue or apathy can distort your perception and prevent you from acting or seeing clearly.
Identifying the root of the problem leads to the right solution. Optimism, motivation and energy to take action rise to the surface when problems are clear to us.
Carrie Baron Psychotherapist, MD
The wrong way out of the situation is to avoid decision-making situations
To avoid emotional stress and physical discomfort, the patient chooses destructive tactics: avoids situations that require him to make decisions.
One way to escape is to find people who will make decisions instead of a person. At best, these could be marriage partners, parents, “experienced” friends, or “more qualified” colleagues. A much worse option is for a person to fall into a religious sect or trust fortune tellers and psychics to make life-changing decisions.
Avoidance, asking for help, and even delegating authority are subtle psychological traps through which the patient temporarily achieves a sense of relief and immerses himself in the illusion of safety. However, when you find yourself in a situation where there is no one to make a choice but the person himself, the fear of error returns, and all the unpleasant symptoms of the disease are experienced with a vengeance.
Consequences of hypengiophobia
The result of this behavior is broken obligations, dissatisfaction with management up to and including dismissal, an unsettled personal life, prolonged stress, and psychosomatic illnesses. Sometimes this state is experienced by top managers of successful companies, realizing that they are responsible for the financial well-being of the entire company.
Regularly postponing decisions and sitting in a corner, a person tries to reduce the likelihood of errors, but in reality he methodically destroys his life. Problems with your personal life, difficulties in building a career, loss of respect from colleagues and acquaintances - this is an incomplete list of the destructive consequences of such a life strategy.
By the way! Psychobiological scientists from Harvard University (USA) discovered that sensitivity to stress is influenced by hereditary factors. About 20% of infants are born with neurochemical characteristics of the psyche, which in adulthood will contribute to the development of hypongiophobia. Such people experience hyper-reactivity in the part of the brain that is responsible for fear.
Decidophobia: methods of overcoming
If decidophobia is accompanied by panic attacks, they resort to short-term medication. After taking control of the physical symptoms of the disease, it is recommended to begin a course of psychotherapy, which includes skills to manage your emotional state, cognitive therapy and mastering muscle relaxation techniques.
Fear fantasy technique
The patient retires for 30 minutes a day and deliberately conjures up the most frightening pictures. Paradoxically, the exercise is not accompanied by the expected overwhelming feeling of fear and accompanying physical reactions. Having perfected the technique for some time, the patient is recommended to use it as needed in real life.
Cinema technology
The patient needs to imagine himself as a spectator in a cinema, where they are showing a black and white film about an event that frightens him: from the moment where everything is still good to the moment when everything will be fine again. As soon as the film ends and everything is fine again, you need to mentally jump into the film and enter the situation. And then, having converted the picture to color, rewind the film to the beginning. The procedure is repeated several times. Mentally, you can occupy any comfortable place in the auditorium - from the projectionist’s booth to the first row in the auditorium.
Relaxation according to Jacobson
It is necessary to alternately strain, slowly counting to five, and sharply relax the muscles. You need to start with the hands and arms, gradually moving to the forearms and back, then to the stomach and legs, and lastly, engage the face and neck. This exercise is useful to use every time you feel the approach of another anxiety attack.
Factors that provoke the emergence of a fear of decision-making can be many psychological reasons. But modern psychology has studied them all sufficiently. You don’t need to fight the disease alone - don’t be afraid to seek qualified help from a doctor.
Causes of metathesisphobia
A successful person reaps the laurels of fame, everyone applauds him, respects him, he has a certain authority over others and a high status in society.
Perhaps many people have this idea of success. But everything is not as wonderful as it seems: success puts significant pressure on a person. With every victory, with every achievement, the demands on oneself grow, and expectations from the outside also grow.
- How long can you withstand such pressure and remain honest and fair?
- Or maybe there will be negative sides?
Often, for the sake of success, you have to give up many habits dear to your heart, devote little time to family and loved ones, forget about rest and entertainment. How do you like this side of the coin?
