I think too much, no one understands

Thoughts are noise in your head. Many people fail to achieve their goals because they have too many thoughts in their heads. They constantly go through different thoughts and look at the situation from different positions, but forget to act. Of course, this is understandable because the thinking process takes much less mental and physical energy.

That’s why you can so often see a similar scenario: a person has a great idea and has already calculated all the possible risks several times, but has never taken action. To act, a person needs to stop the train of thought. The thought process is a useful thing, but only if used correctly. After all, long thinking drags a person into a swamp of thoughts from which it is difficult to get out.

Reasons for the abundance of thoughts in the head

Nothing comes out of nowhere. Everything has its own reason. The fact that an endless stream of thoughts rushes through your head indicates some difficulties in your life.

Problems at work. What will the boss think? Why didn't your colleague invite you to lunch? Again, your salary is being delayed... You spend a lot of time at work, so you are constantly thinking about work problems or relationships in the team.
Financial difficulties. No matter what anyone says, we are dependent on money. The fewer there are, the greater the anxiety. How can you force yourself not to think about anything if the loan repayment deadlines are running out?
Health problems. When you have a disease, your body's functioning becomes disrupted. You are worried about your health. Hypochondriacs who like to give themselves imaginary ailments especially suffer.
Failures in your personal life. Relationships (or lack thereof) also cause a flood of experiences. You are wondering how to arrange your personal life. Or you worry about them because of a quarrel with your loved one.
Weather. The environment often has a negative impact on overall well-being. For example, if there is dampness and slush outside the window, the general emotional state may be disturbed, a person becomes immersed in gray thoughts and cannot relax.
Intense mental load. If your work involves a lot of mental stress, then you can even go over work matters in your head at home. Often your body is in your bed, but your mind is still at work. The same applies to students during the session. They constantly think about exams and can drive themselves to mental exhaustion.

There are other reasons why different thoughts pop into your head. Often the reason may be some event that stirred your soul.

How to remove unnecessary thoughts and calm down? Use a few tips to help you not think about problems, calm down as quickly as possible and clear your mind of caustic thoughts.

How to stop thinking too much?

In the last article we started talking about thinking by inertia. Let me remind you what we are talking about. Suppose you are an accountant, and now you are in a period of intense work. You must submit annual reports. Eight hours a day you engage in intense mental work. When the working day finally ends and you come home, you find that numbers continue to flash in your head, and by inertia you continue to calculate something. You should have stopped and switched gears, but that was not the case! The brain begins to live its own life and continues to work even when it was not asked to do so.

Are you not an accountant? This situation may still be familiar to you if there are periods in your life when you have to think a lot and intensely. Its meaning is this: if you have been thinking about something for a long time and painfully, then you may not be able to simply stop and stop thinking. The law of inertia will apply.

There are people for whom thinking and reflecting turns into a bad habit. They are involved in mental activity not only when it is really necessary for the task. They have a thousand thoughts on any occasion. They spend their mental energy analyzing everything that comes their way. And then a problem may arise, very precisely shown in the picture:

What happens during meditation to a person who is used to thinking a lot? Most often he is overwhelmed by an uncontrollable stream of thoughts. He can't just stop and stop thinking. The law of inertia applies to it. Thoughts during meditation are a voluminous topic. You can read about how to properly respond to your own thoughts during meditation and, ultimately, learn to control the flow of thoughts here and here.

The purpose of this article is to show how to stop, turn yourself off from the race of thoughts without using meditation techniques. The methods I recommend do not relate to meditation, but you can use them to improve the quality of your practice.

The main point of all methods of turning off excessive mental activity is to redirect mental energy to something else.

Imagine that somewhere inside us there is a large reservoir of energy. And this reservoir is a container of three interconnected vessels. One vessel contains the energy spent on mental activity. In another - on emotions. And in the third - on physical activity. Let me remind you that the vessels communicate with each other. Therefore, it is possible to make sure that all the energy accumulates in only one of the vessels.

Think a little, how is energy distributed in your vessels? Approximately equally, or is there a skew somewhere? When a person constantly thinks too much, the bulk of the energy accumulates in the corresponding vessel. And this happens at the expense of two other vessels.

I hope you understand that this is only a metaphor. But the metaphor is very clear. In order to reduce the amount of energy in one vessel, you need to pay attention to the other two vessels. Therefore, to reduce the flow of thoughts, follow two tips:

1 Give your body exercise. Take a walk, run, do exercises, dance or do yoga - any type of physical activity perfectly switches from mental activity and stops the uncontrollable flow of thoughts. 2 Find some type of activity that evokes bright positive emotions in you. Play with your child, build a snowman, watch your favorite movie, chat with friends. Intense emotions inhibit mental activity.

Ideally, you need to rearrange your life in such a way that energy is distributed evenly between three vessels. In the case of excessive mental activity, energy chronically accumulates in the corresponding vessel, and temporary measures will lead to temporary results.

Distribute what is important and what is not

Very often, a person who thinks about everything in a row stresses himself out over things that are not important to him at all. You have watched the news, which contains negativity from all over the world, and are already worried about a bus that overturned somewhere in Bolivia. Distribute what is really important to you and what is not worth worrying about. Whenever a negative thought enters your head, ask yourself how it applies to you. Introduce some kind of censorship and filter out unnecessary garbage that does not concern you in any way.

Replacing negativity with positivity

How not to think about anything bad? Just replace the negative with something good. For example, you made mistakes in a report and received a reprimand from your boss. Instead of exaggerating the situation and beating yourself up, come up with a new positive scenario. Imagine handing in a revised report and receiving praise from your superiors for your accurate work. Bring this replacement of negative to positive to automaticity. If negativity pops into your head, your brain will automatically correct it to something positive.

We replay events that happened in the past.

It is as if someone has given us the idea that the more we think about a particular incident in which we were involved, the clearer the situation will become. As if running the same picture in our thoughts, we will be able to remember important moments that can explain everything to us.

But unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. On the contrary, this process is similar to quicksand - the longer we are in these thoughts, the deeper they absorb us. And instead of getting new answers, we get a new portion of embarrassment, misunderstanding, each time mentally reliving that moment.

Help from loved ones

If you have obsessive thoughts running through your head, you need to share them with someone. Not everyone can trust a psychologist. Yes, and this is not always necessary. Sometimes it’s enough just to talk to a loved one and voice your feelings. When you don't hush up your fears, but talk about them openly, you take an important step. You get rid of anxiety and mental stress. Having spoken out, you may notice that all your fears were far-fetched and there is actually nothing catastrophic. If you find yourself in a situation where you have no one to share your aspirations with, you can take a piece of paper and put all your fears in writing.

The influence of thoughts on fate

What do you think about your destiny?

Listen, no matter what you think about her, she will be the way you imagine her in your thoughts.

Are you afraid of repeating the fate of your older relatives? As long as you are afraid, you choose the negative option.

Afraid of getting = thinking about what you DON'T want.

My father was an alcoholic, which means I have these genes too. I can become like that too...I don’t want to. I'm scared.

These thoughts are very dangerous, if this happens to you, replace them with new ones:

I have good genes. My father was very smart, read a lot, despite his problem, was a respected man.
I will take only his most positive qualities, and my destiny will be wonderful.

There is only one way to overcome a negative scenario: stop thinking about it and start thinking about a new desired scenario.

Replace unwanted thoughts with desirable ones.

How to do it? How not to think about bad things?

If you know for sure that your bad negative thoughts affect your life, you will never be able to calmly think about bad things “for your own pleasure.”

We are used to thinking about bad things, we do it out of habit. Because everyone around me thinks it's normal. Complaining, making claims, being afraid, judging in your mind - all this is the norm.

No one told us since childhood how this has a detrimental effect on our lives.

Materials are just beginning to appear, books about the power of thought are being published, articles are being written, videos are being made about the need to think only about what you want.

Today, today, look at what is “bad” in your life.

Remember all the thoughts that often visit your head regarding this “bad”. Become aware of these negative thoughts. Start recognizing them when they appear in your head.

Give yourself new replacement thoughts.

Think only about what you want.

Remember, the influence of thoughts on your life is enormous. And if you are interested in how I materialize what I want, come to my master class>>>

Take your mind off your problems

How can you not think about anything at all when you are locked within four walls alone with yourself? If you sit at home all day, then it’s no wonder that all sorts of nonsense pops into your head. Why not unwind? How about making an appointment with an old friend? Get yourself out into the street, immerse yourself in a crowd, meet someone you can tell about all your experiences. It is quite possible that your friend’s opinion will have a sobering effect on you. And being outside the house will help you take your mind off oppressive thoughts.

Water to the rescue

It has long been believed that contact with water puts thoughts in order. If you want to not think about anything, going to the pool will help you the best. Swimming relaxes the body and distracts from obsessive thoughts. If you don't want to go to the pool, just soak in the bath. After a hard day, give yourself some real relaxation, lie down in warm water. You can add flavored salt or essential oils. A contrast shower also helps. Believe me, after this procedure, bad thoughts will disappear without a trace. The easiest option (if you are at work) is to wash your face with cool water or simply apply a moistened napkin to your temples.

How our thoughts affect our body

Our thoughts directly affect our body.

I have noticed from my own experience that if you constantly think that extra dessert will have a bad effect on your figure, then it will be so.

You will gain weight by leaps and bounds.

And these standard thoughts will be to blame for everything.

But you can think differently...

The French, whose culture is quite supportive of wine, smoking, cakes (total saxap!) and savory sauces (total cholesterol!), consume all this and live to a ripe old age, remaining healthy and slim.

Many studies have been carried out in an attempt to understand their “secret”, because, according to modern theories, a person needs to have a coronary bypass installed almost after every visit to a candy store.

However, there is no secret. It's all about the mood. The French eat with pleasure and without guilt.

You can make it a rule: every time you eat something sweet, tell yourself:

I am becoming slimmer and more beautiful every day.
I can eat whatever I want, I'm still getting thinner.
I have a very fast metabolism.
A hearty dinner is digested very quickly and goes towards building muscles.

Everything depends on you.

Throw out of your head all the thoughts and opinions that society instills in you.

Think only about what you want. You have the right to do so.

If you want to have a beautiful body, tell yourself this when looking in the mirror:

I have a gorgeous beautiful body.

Let it seem to you at first that this is a cruel lie.

After some time, reality will change and you will see in the mirror what you thought about every day.

Meditation practice

Even a short meditation will lead your thoughts in a constructive direction. Of course, meditation still needs to be learned. But believe me, this practice will do some spring cleaning in your brain. If you don’t really want to meditate, you can simply do breathing practices. For example, before going to bed, when negative thoughts keep you awake, take a few deep breaths. Let them be slow and measured. To avoid thinking about anything, concentrate on your breathing as intensely as possible.

Let's grab the weights

Sport is also a great way to distract from obsessive thoughts. Are you scrolling through the events of the past day? Do twenty squats. Did not help? Make twenty more. Make it a rule not to sit still, but to move. When a person feels danger, he freezes. You do the opposite. Move your body, pump your muscles and drive your thoughts away. Carry weights, do exercises with a skipping rope. Jogging also copes well with a bad mood. Trouble at work? Grab your sneakers and run outside. But you don’t need to sit on the couch and dwell on negativity in your head.

Get organized

If you don't know how to learn not to think about anything, start cleaning up your home. The point is that your environment reflects your thoughts. If they are not in order, then there will be a mess around you. Make sure that every item in your home has its own place so that you can always find the thing you need. It is often said that thoughts need to be sorted into shelves. So, do the easier task first. Put things on shelves. The environment greatly influences your psycho-emotional state. Therefore, try to be surrounded by aesthetics everywhere. Pay special attention to your bag and desk. They should always be in perfect order.

QUESTION on the forum “Psychology in a different way”:

Hello! I’m very glad that I found this site, I hope at least they will help me here)) I have a very complicated life situation, but this not only worries me, but also interests and intrigues me. and I simply cannot describe everything at once. My main problems: I constantly think and analyze, draw logical chains, try to think objectively, and be realistic. At the same time, I subconsciously strive for idealism, which is paradoxical in itself. I am as honest as possible with myself and other people, I am open, and I am myself as much as possible without overstepping boundaries, of course. I don’t pretend that I like a person - if this is not the case, I just keep an official/neutral tone with him, if I think someone is wrong - I don’t shout that he is a fool, but I always look for a soft approach, but I can remain silent if necessary... and etc. I have good external and mental characteristics. I do creativity in all its manifestations and I succeed. I graduated from university, work in science. I’m 23 years old, married for 3 years. My psychological state interferes with relationships with loved ones to some extent, especially with my husband (he clearly has noticeable mental deviations, which I also have a lot of questions about). When communicating with people, I notice their background, “insides,” lies, their complexes, problems, and I can help them in many ways - and I helped some a lot - my thoughts and arguments are not groundless. I can explain 90% of everything I say, write, think, draw, and so on - which also confuses many people when communicating with me; there are only a few who talk to me on the same level - it’s difficult. If I I don’t understand something - and of course there is a lot of this, then I am interested in it, I don’t pretend that I know, etc. I, it seems to me, am the most adequate person - if we apply the concept of adequacy specifically. but, as is clear, an absolutely adequate or absolutely normal person cannot exist, because everyone is unique and uniqueness is the norm... This is my main problem, I don’t know how to live like this. why does everyone lie, wear masks, don’t try to improve their lives, don’t want to see the truth, don’t want to help themselves... why do people do idiotic things, while possessing sufficient data to be successful in life and self-sufficient??? So what do I need? prevents you from realizing your potential in everything? I have a chaotic set of long and straight logical chains in my head - I understand everything, but I can’t find a way out. According to the logic of everything, it turns out that: lying to others, and MAINLY to yourself, is the norm, and this is what helps other people live normally , there’s a collapse in my head! And my husband, oooh, he’s just a mystery, I’m losing my brain in him, I’ll write about it later. I really need help figuring out how to figure all this out. there is more than one question, but I think my situation may seem interesting. Thanks a lot for your attention))

ROITMAN ANSWERS:

The question is actually simple, if, of course, I understood its essence correctly. If translated into simple and understandable language for me, not a young man (and indeed a man) with convolutions no longer than 1.5 cm, it generally sounds like this: If you don’t mind, in a nutshell, quickly explain to me the structure of this world.1. Why isn't everyone rich?2. Why is not everyone healthy?3. Why isn't everyone happy?4. And why am I not everything? Each of these questions looks much simpler than the entire text you wrote, and this is reassuring. But the answer to each of the four points also looks ambiguous for me. Once about 25 years ago I had a very good friend, an advertising genius, a very unusual person, and at the same time a schizophrenic. He was divorced and for a long time he was tormented by the question of how to answer his son to various difficult questions like “why did you split up with your mother.” One day he called me at 4 o’clock in the morning, I didn’t even immediately understand what he was talking about. He excitedly tried to wake me up and put my brain in order, so that God forbid I would miss the importance of what happened to him. And the importance was that he found a short, understandable and obvious answer to all the questions of his 7-year-old child. This answer sounded like this: “THIS IS HOW THE WORLD IS”

P.S. I've been thinking about this answer for 25 years now. Does it seem simple and obvious to me too? Am I ready, am I allowing myself to accept the full depth of this answer? I have repeatedly wanted to give this answer to one of the questions that seem to me to lie on the border between graphomania, cheap philosophizing, and between the pain of not understanding what is going on with this world and why I feel lost in it. Where is the “I” in it? Where is the norm in it? Who is more normal - me or them? What to base your perspective and planning on? Where is my life, my path? When answering such borderline questions, I always take a risk - on the one hand, to participate in a discussion of topics that are not binding on anyone, that I am bored. On the other hand, try in a short text to try to give hope for a solution to issues - the solution to which is life.

***

FROM ADMINISTRATION:

We often receive questions from readers, Roitman used to answer everything, but lately there have been so many questions that he started answering only those that were interesting to answer, we apologize in advance! Lately, the Institute's trainers have been involved in the answers, but don't put your finger in their mouth :) In short, an idea arose: to publish the most interesting questions and answers. This is what we are doing on behalf of the Administration, so as not to expose names. We also change some data just in case. You can write your questions in a personal message, just please indicate whether your question can be published. We write the answers with the name of the coach who answered.

Discussion of the topic on FB

Live in the present tense

Often we are haunted by ghosts from the past. We think that in that situation twenty years ago we should have acted differently. Stop beating yourself up for past mistakes. Live in the present tense. You probably have an interesting life that you really need to worry about, so stop chasing ghosts that don't exist. If you don't have enough impressions, keep yourself busy with something. At least start traveling. Let your old experiences be replaced by new positive emotions.

Take these simple recommendations into account. But remember that your success depends only on a sincere desire to get rid of negative thoughts. Stop reveling in negativity and live on the bright side of life.

The influence of thoughts on family relationships

I want to dedicate the following example of the influence of thoughts on relationships to people who are already in strong relationships.

Often we are angry with our significant other or believe that our partner is very bad in something.

In the head of a married lady ironing her husband’s shirts at lunchtime on Sunday, you can hear the following thoughts:

He didn't nail this shelf again yesterday. He is an absolute lazy person, he can't do anything. I'm so tired of constantly reminding him. Why did I get such a husband? And these shirts can be thrown away within a month after purchase. How can you treat things like that? He comes and throws him on the floor. Slob!

As we see, this is a standard “complaint” about life, which we often hear in our heads.

Who is complaining about what?

But the essence is the same: we think about what we DO NOT want to see in our lives.

How not to think about bad things?

Just remember that every day you think should be ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.

And then this lady’s thoughts should change to the following:

My husband is certainly not perfect, but overall he is very caring.
I love it when he sometimes cooks dinner himself.
I also like how carefully he drives the car. He provides for us and this is worth appreciating. In general, if you look at it, my husband is real gold.

And so, the more positive a woman finds in her husband, the more good qualities will appear in him.

And you can not only look for the positive, you can shape it.

For example: