How to carry on a conversation if you have no idea what you're talking about

Short answer:

This situation can occur both at the beginning of a relationship between a young couple and among spouses who have lived together for more than one year. When this happens at the first stage of a relationship, it can be explained by the fact that people simply being together simply enjoy the silence. They quietly enjoy each other. But things are not always so rosy. Sometimes it happens that a couple is silent because both are embarrassed to say something wrong. If you don't know what to talk about with your boyfriend, try to do something together, for example, you can go to the cinema; after watching the film, you will definitely have something to talk about.

How to become a good conversationalist?

If your interlocutors have something to talk about, that’s great. But to make communication pleasant and effective, choosing a topic alone is not enough. You should follow the rules of conversation:

• Don't be bombarded with questions. The next question can be asked after the person has fully answered the previous one.
• Do not interrupt, even if you want to express your gratitude.
• Do not use swear words or vulgarisms. Avoid filler words, slang and dialectisms.
• Monitor facial expressions, gestures and other manifestations of nonverbal speech.
• Avoid ambiguous statements.
• Before broaching the topic, think about what you can talk about in this society and what it is better not to touch upon.
• Show respect for the interlocutor and his opinion, even if the views do not coincide.
• Give free rein only to positive emotions. Whining, resentment, insults only repel.
• When starting a dialogue, do not use monosyllabic answers “yes”, “no”, “I don’t know”. If people ask a question, it means they want to get a detailed answer to it, to hear a comment.
• Do not enter the territory of your interlocutor. That is, do not touch him, do not push him as a joke, and so on.
• Be sincere. People always sense deceit and honesty.

By adopting several of the topics we offer, you will be able to confidently control the flow of the conversation, maintain a conversation during the feast, and also avoid awkward pauses in dialogue with unfamiliar people. Save the article for yourself so that the tips are always at hand.

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What to talk about on a first date

There are completely easy and relaxed topics for conversation that will help you diversify your evening. Let's look at the topics that can be discussed and which should not be discussed. So, what can we talk about:

• Hobby
• Movie
• Trips
• Studies
• Job
• Books
• Sport

These are topics that you can communicate about without any problems, and this will also allow you not only to get to know the young man better, but also, perhaps, to identify the presence of any common tastes and interests. Now the topics that are best not touched upon:

• Ex-boyfriends
• Don't ask about the past
• A topic about which you understand nothing and is only interesting to your companion

It’s better not to touch on these topics, at least at the first stage of dating, because your relationship is just beginning to revive, and with inappropriate questions, you can discourage the guy from getting to know you further.

What can we talk about?

With a stranger

On the one hand, talking to a stranger is difficult, since the range of his interests is a secret to you .

But on the other hand, if you managed to enter into a dialogue, then you don’t have to worry about choosing topics. After all, you can find out from a stranger:

• where he studies (which university, what specialty, whether he has completed his studies or is a student, what he can say about the teachers and student life, etc.);
• where he works (how he got into the profession, what are his career plans, was it easy to make friends with the team, etc.);
• what he is interested in (does the person have hobbies and hobbies, what is the choice based on and what successes have been achieved in this direction);
• what kind of music he prefers.

In other words, you can study the interlocutor and his range of interests directly during the conversation. With such valuable knowledge, you can easily support the dialogue next time.

Don't forget how sensitive people are to their opinions.

Does the conversation format not involve personal questions? Then ask your interlocutor to recommend a place where you can drink coffee.

You can ask for an assessment of the situation , or you can turn to a person so that he can help with the choice (when buying clothes, looking at the menu in a restaurant, etc.).

In company

Being in company, you don’t have to worry about awkward pauses.

It is enough to suggest a topic. People will pick it up and begin to actively develop it, changing the vector of the conversation as they go.

List of possible topics:

• family (a story about one’s family or questions about someone else’s family usually turns into an exchange of funny stories of an everyday nature);
• career (profession is the most universal topic for people of all ages);
• rest (this category includes both large-scale events such as flying to hot countries, and home leisure in the form of reading books or watching films);
• indignation (friendship against someone else is always relevant, so discussing difficult situations, an evil boss and increased travel costs will unite people, allow them to speak out, and get rid of the negativity);
• memories (funny stories from student, school or professional life in the company always support, willingly remembering bygone times).

With sister or brother

A brother/sister is a person with whom you share common memories and are also well versed in the character and preferences of this person.

But it also happens that when talking with a brother or sister, awkwardness and long pauses (after a long separation, when spending a long time together in a limited space, etc.). In such situations, you can discuss

1. News, if any . Perhaps a brother or sister went to study in another city. Naturally, during the holidays, a loved one will bring a wealth of knowledge and impressions.
2. Future plans and dreams. A loved one will be able to keep the secret and will not judge you, so you can safely trust your innermost desires.
3. Domestic issues . This is a good option for those who have exhausted all topics during a long journey. You can discuss buying a new computer, decide on dinner, plan rearrangements in the room, etc.
4. Childhood . At what point in your life were you closest to your brother or sister? For most people, this period is filled with pranks, games and pleasant memories, the discussion of which causes pleasure and nostalgia.
5. Mutual friends and relatives. Sisters and brothers love to gossip.
   You don’t have to worry about being judged, because your loved one understands and shares your feelings, and is not guided by the rules of decency and behavior in society.

Where is the best place to start?

Start with the simplest thing, find out how the young man’s day went, this is a win-win question. Try to find out how he is doing at work or school. Be sure to tell us about your business. Find out what he likes to do in his free time, what kind of relaxation he prefers. Also tell us what you love, perhaps your interests will intersect somewhere, and you will be able to spend time together in the future. You can also talk about new movies, just talk about the movie that you have already seen, because if you have not yet had time to familiarize yourself with the plot of the movie, and the guy has already watched it, you risk getting into an awkward situation. If you have tried all the topics, and your date does not show interest in any of them, in this case, it will be better to leave him alone. Maybe he has some problems at work or something else. Having dealt with them, I think he will then explain to you the reason for this behavior.

Nothing to talk about with a girl

Ivan, good afternoon!

Everything in the Universe develops according to its own laws, everything is transitory. Man (as part of the Universe) is a creature that needs to develop. There is nothing in the world that is not subject to change.

Various metamorphoses constantly occur in a person, especially at a young age. The boy and girl who were there 5 years ago are no longer there. Your values, attachments, and lifestyle change. The only thing that remains is the feeling of love. But love also requires development.

To keep love in your life, a person needs to improve his feelings, thoughts, attitudes towards the object of love and the world around him. Otherwise, love relationships (like friendships, any partnerships) will turn into a swamp from which you want to run away. And, of course, the feeling of love should be built on the basis of mutual respect (feelings, choice of a partner).

Perhaps, Ivan, your relationship with the girl has exhausted itself. They were based more on the interest of communication (exchange of thoughts, points of view). Maybe there wasn't enough action in them? Girls mature much earlier than guys, and your partner really needs effective love (not necessarily sexual!). In actions, in actions, did you show your love sufficiently (gave flowers, walked in the park, went together to events that were interesting for both of you, did you confess your love to her)? If this was not the case, then the girl simply lacks the manifestation of your masculinity - care, support, attention (once again, I draw attention to the fact that in masculinity, women do not always put sex first!).

Your girlfriend has grown out of a relationship that is based on conversations. She needs to see, feel, be in love, feel security and reliability on the part of a man! Therefore, I advise you, Ivan, at the appropriate time and place to confess your love to your chosen one and show your readiness to support her like an adult man (that is, bear responsibility for her happiness and the development of your relationship). Be sure to be prepared to receive a sincere answer from the girl whether she wants to maintain a relationship with you and whether she loves you. If she needs time to think, give her that time, but ask for a specific deadline (answer in 3 days).

If the girl refuses, be prepared to behave with dignity, without hysterics and manipulation on your part. Be grateful to her for her sincerity and try to let her out of your life without offense. The ability to accept your partner’s choice, even if it is not in your favor, is a sign of a real man and true love!!!

If it is difficult for you to come to terms with the loss of your girlfriend, be sure to consult a psychotherapist. Resentment, hatred - destructive feelings that will prevent you from bringing harmony into your life, can block your meeting with the only one who will truly love you. A psychologist will help you transform your grievances into a positive state that will attract abundance, love, and happiness into your life!

Good luck to you, Ivan, in demonstrating your true masculinity (responsibility, honesty, creativity) in your relationship with a girl and to all people and events in your life!

Nothing to talk about with your loved one (5 answers)

Sincerely, Marina Romanova, psychologist, Zhitomir
Good answer4 Bad answer2

Let your interlocutor talk about himself by asking the right questions

People generally love to talk about themselves. Not because they are selfish, but because it is a safe topic and they are obviously good at it. So, if you don't know what to say, just ask the right questions.

Questions show a level of personal interest and the other person feels like they care. To achieve this, you need to observe the person and find clues. For example, if they look very tired, ask what they did yesterday. If they have an accessory, tell them you were looking for something similar and ask where they bought it or if they can recommend where to find it.

The secret is to ask detailed questions and get them talking, rather than questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no. This gives the person the opportunity to talk more, keep the conversation going, and helps you find clues to their personality.

Excessive addition of information

Of course, you should only answer the questions that are put to you. A question the answer. Do not give the investigator additional information; you should not tell him that your hobby is hunting, that you have a lodge somewhere in the forest, fully equipped, that you know how to survive in the forest, that you can navigate without a compass, and so on.

No one knows what role the investigator has prepared for you, and even if he is very attentive and calm with you, having received this information, if your status as a witness is changed to a suspect, with a very high probability the investigator will petition for your arrest as a preventive measure, since you have special skills and the ability to hide from investigation.

Share small facts about yourself

Sharing information about yourself may feel unnatural for some people—especially introverts. But talking about little things, no matter how small, will not only show the other person that you want them to know you, but it's also a good way to fill in gaps in the conversation.

As mentioned earlier, people don't actually remember what was said in a conversation. A person is much more likely to remember the feeling of uncomfortable silence with you than a seemingly insignificant conversation about what you ate yesterday or what new gadget you bought.

The point is to be confident when speaking on any topic. If you feel uncomfortable, the other person will be more than grateful for your efforts in keeping the conversation going, so don't worry too much about your choice of words.

Talk about food

The point here is to find a universal theme. Not everyone knows about the latest tech or fashion, but you know that everyone loves food, or at least has an opinion about it.

If you're eating together, it's easy to start a conversation by simply commenting on the food. Or develop a conversation by talking about different cuisines and dishes you've tried. If you're going to eat later, asking what they'll choose or suggesting a dish is always a successful theme.

It's all about finding common ground, and food is a fairly simple and universal topic of conversation.