How to approach different people on a team

All people are different in character. It is formed throughout a person’s life: in the process of education, socialization, and the formation of a stable value system. It is based on an innate personality trait – temperament. In psychology, there are 4 types of temperament: choleric, phlegmatic, sanguine, melancholic. The character of a melancholic person is the most contradictory and ambiguous.

What does a melancholic person look like?

On the division into character types

Let's start the article with all sorts of facts and terms. Well, what can you do – that’s psychology. But at the end there will be a lot of personal experience.

In medicine, it is customary to divide everyone, based on behavior and character, into 4 types of people: melancholic, sanguine, choleric and phlegmatic. Although everything is far from so simple, there are also many subtleties. Traits of several characters can be simultaneously present in one person. This is usually called a mixed type of temperament. This is studied in detail in psychology. Knowledge makes it easier to work with patients and helps develop correct behavior with such people.

4 types of temperament

general characteristics

Let's look into the details of what kind of melancholic he is.

A melancholic person is a person who does not splash out negativity on others and does not start quarrels, preferring to accumulate all grievances and experiences within himself. Such individuals are prone to soul-searching and introspection, but at the same time these same emotions make them very creative individuals.

People with this type of character are characterized by a tendency to constantly worry. They experience vivid emotions that can appear in bursts and then fade away. But unlike the choleric person, the melancholic person does not show them, outwardly remaining unperturbed.

The description of this type (as well as others) was formulated by the ancient Greek healer and philosopher Hippocrates, giving it the name in honor of black bile - melaina chole. It was this illness, in his opinion, that best characterized his character. Just like black bile, negative experiences poison the body. In the modern world, its interpretation continues to be used, only supplementing it with the results of new research.

Distinctive features of the melancholic temperament

Types of human temperament and their brief characteristics

You can recognize a person with this type of mental organization by the following simple signs:

• Such an individual worries about any failures and gets upset easily, but it is unusual for him to throw out negative feelings on others;
• In the team he is considered withdrawn, as he strives for loneliness;
• Such people are very impressionable and vulnerable;
• They are characterized by innate shyness;
• They are prone to constant introspection (at the same time they are very self-critical);
• These are slow, inert people, since their nervous system is weak;
• With a finely organized psyche, such people often have highly developed aesthetic taste and creative abilities;
• They are well versed in art;
• They have the ability to empathize, their empathy is sincere;
• They avoid taking responsibility for a common cause, working in a team; they prefer to be not a leader, but a performer;
• Touchy, but at the same time easy-going (this helps them maintain friendly relations with a narrow circle of people).

Attention! You should not think that all melancholic people are the same, that their main characteristics are sadness, depression, despondency, a tendency to complain about life and suffer for real or fictitious reasons.

How to identify a melancholic person by character traits

It is enough to spend some time with a person to find out his type. Knowing the characteristics of a melancholic person’s character will make it clear how to communicate with him correctly so as not to feel awkward. Briefly about the main signs of behavior of this personality type:

• Excessive touchiness. With a melancholic person, you will have to carefully watch what you say and how you say it. A harsh word or inappropriate tone can cause offense in such a person. But it’s not a fact that you can recognize it by external signs.
• Closedness. Melancholic people are often not very sociable. They don’t like noisy companies (they are simply uncomfortable in someone else’s company), and if you have to be among people, you will rarely hear more than 1 or 2 phrases from them.
• Tact. A melancholic person will not ask you when you will get married or have a child. This doesn't mean he's not interested. Just based on personal experience, he will not “get into your soul.”
• Creativity. Often these people are representatives of creative professions. Internal emotional outbursts allow you to direct your energy in the right direction. Therefore, you can often hear that creative individuals are “on their own” or capricious, although this characteristic is erroneous. This is simply a cost of temperament.

Melancholic artist
There is information that people of this type of character can be identified based on appearance. Melancholic people have a supposedly fragile physique, their limbs may be slightly elongated, and their skin is pale. But this is very controversial, since absolutely anyone can look like this.

But body language can sometimes, on the contrary, reveal the melancholic side of your interlocutor. Some tightness in posture, tightly pressed knees, often crossed arms and in general the feeling from such a person that he is trying to become more compact.

Advantages and disadvantages

People with a melancholic character can easily succeed and stand out among the team. Like all personality types, they also have good and bad sides. Positive character traits:

• Faithful. If a melancholic person has become attached to you, then most likely it will last for life. Their affection is always sincere, such a person is a very good friend.
• Monogamy. A person with a melancholy character is a monogamous person and prefers to build long-term relationships. This is true in most cases, but not always.
• Very sensual. Due to increased emotionality, melancholic people are prone to romanticism. In love, they are very gentle and sensitive, taking care of their couple.
• Creative. Creativity for melancholic people is a way of self-expression. And the richer the emotional range, the more creativity they produce.
• Good analysts. The usual state of a melancholic person is observing others. Thanks to this, they have a well-developed ability to analyze and anticipate events and people's behavior.
• Perfectionists. Possessing perseverance, they do their work thoughtfully, achieving high-quality results. Unfortunately, speed suffers.

As usual, the most striking advantages also result in negative aspects of character. Melancholic people experience separation or betrayal very hard. Sometimes it may take them more than one year to move away from a long-term relationship.

Excessive emotionality can have a bad effect on the state of the nervous system and ultimately result in unpleasant illnesses. Because of the love of analyzing everything (especially oneself), an endless internal dialogue occurs. This soul-searching and constant replaying of situations in a circle often interferes with moving forward and slows down personal growth.

The most striking disadvantages of melancholic people:

• pessimism;
• low stress resistance;
• poor self-esteem;
• inertia;
• communication problems;
• excessive slowness.

Music has a great influence on the mood of a melancholic person. She can drive him into depression or, conversely, give him strength.

Melancholic introvert

Melancholic people are characterized as closed people, weakly responsive to the external environment, with restrained speech. But one of their most important qualities is the increased sensitivity of the nervous system. This quality allows such people to succeed in the creative field. But it also makes the melancholic vulnerable to society.

A person with this type of character often experiences events too much, and this can affect not only psychological health, but also physical health: pressure changes, nervous tics, headaches.

In addition to the division into character types, people also have different personality types: introvert (closed) and extrovert (open). So, a melancholic person is an introvert.

Can a melancholic person be an extrovert?

You will never meet a melancholic extrovert, since this type of temperament and psychotype are incompatible by definition. A melancholic person will never love a noisy company and will not be in the center of it, since he does not need it. To protect his inner world, he will prefer to hide from prying eyes.

Melancholy Melancholic

-...What makes you melancholic? - Stupid habit of looking back at the past. My parents kept saying that the good old days were behind us and that we would never regain our former greatness. According to them, the past was wonderful, magnificent. I think their parents told them the same thing.

Victoria Holt. Melisande

Melancholicity as a personality quality is a tendency to often be in a depressed, depressed and sad state, unmotivated or insufficiently motivated by external circumstances; show thoughtful melancholy, melancholy, quiet despair, elegance and minor key.

A melancholy doctor-psychotherapist is sitting in his office. A patient enters the office: - Hello, doctor. - Come on in. - Doctor, it seems to me that I am a complete nonentity. - Yes it is. — Recently, I began to notice that my life is absolutely meaningless. - Totally agree with you. “Perhaps I should commit suicide.” “I think this will be the absolutely right decision.” The patient opens the window and jumps down. Doctor, melancholic: - Smack.

The sergeant noticed that the recruit was sad: “How are you feeling, private?” “I have melancholy, Comrade Sergeant.” “You’re in the army now, and here melancholy should be fun!”

One of the artists of the 18th century. wrote melancholy as a woman rather young and somewhat plump, but without freshness; she is surrounded by scattered books, overturned globes on the table and mathematical instruments lying in disarray; she thinks deeply over the skull while holding it in her hands.

Melancholicity with its sensitive, vulnerable soul, rich imagination, subtle style and excellent taste gives the world many creative personalities. A gallery of owners of this personality quality is capable of impressing even the most biased opinion. Here are some of them: Tchaikovsky, Chopin, Newton, Gogol, Darwin, Descartes, Yesenin, Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, Akhmatova. Aristotle even argued that all famous and outstanding people were melancholic. The great representatives of melancholicity were able to use the rich advantages of their character to create masterpieces: the high sensitivity of the nervous system, a subtle reaction to the slightest shades of feelings, deep emotional experiences, characterized by great stability.

Melancholy communicates very quietly, slowly and reluctantly; you can’t make Cicero, Kerensky or Trotsky out of it. Isaac Newton, as you know, was a member of the House of Lords. Newton attended meetings of the House of Lords most regularly. However, for many years Newton did not say a word about them. Everyone froze when, finally, the great man suddenly asked to speak. Everyone expected a grandiose and intelligent speech from a recognized genius. And what? Newton, in deathly silence, quietly and slowly said: “Gentlemen, I ask you to close the window, otherwise I might catch a cold!” These were his only words in parliament.

The azimuth of melancholicity is always directed towards sadness. Sadness, like a magnet, attracts her compassionate heart. Satisfying the desires of her mind, she still paints them in sad tones. Tchaikovsky laughed extremely contagiously and often for the most inappropriate reasons. One day he comes to visit and happily announces that he has moved to a new apartment. - Are you so pleased, Pyotr Ilyich, the apartment is very good? “Yes,” Tchaikovsky became even more animated, “simply wonderful, so cozy, so small, low, dark, you can’t see anything, so lovely!” - and burst out laughing.

Melancholy’s own suffering seems endless and unbearable. Chopin, in order to improve his difficult financial situation, took a trip to London at the invitation of English friends. But the damp climate of England is not the best refuge for melancholy. A hectic life, full of secular, often empty and meaningless entertainment, began to tire him. Chopin's letters from London reflect his gloomy mood, and often suffering. “I am no longer able to worry or rejoice - I have completely stopped feeling anything - I am just vegetating and waiting for this to end as soon as possible,” he wrote to one of his friends.

Melancholicity is a slave to external circumstances. In contrast to an active, energetic personality, striving with the power of his mind to change his destiny for the better, melancholicity passively and inhibitedly surrenders to chance. She lives in her inner world, so she is passive towards outside demands, especially if they are not interesting to her.

Once the famous artist Volkov was asked how he began his career. Volkov answered irritably that for his daily bread he had to serve in the department, and one for two, since next to him a whistler was wiping his pants, who could not do anything, did not want anything, but just sat and whistled all day long... - Probably this did the whistler come to a bad end? - Yes, of course! He did not record incoming data, he did not mark outgoing papers... When vacancies were reduced, we were the first to be kicked out of the service. He entered the conservatory, and I became an artist,” the narrator finished with a sigh. — And his last name was Tchaikovsky. Relatives of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky were extremely upset that the young man turned out to be completely incapable of serving and, having left the Ministry of Justice, entered the St. Petersburg Conservatory. The uncle of the future great composer indignantly reprimanded the “idiot” Petya: “Oh, Petya, Petya, what a shame!” Traded jurisprudence for the pipe!

Melancholicity is excessively fearful, restless and anxious. When faced with life's difficulties, she shows timidity and self-doubt. Melancholy is wary of changes; the sprouts of the new frighten her with their unknown. The melancholic philosopher Schopenhauer was forced to leave Naples by the fear of smallpox, from Verona by the fear that he had sniffed poisoned tobacco, from Berlin by the fear of cholera, and most importantly, by the fear of uprising. At the slightest noise on the street, he grabbed his sword and trembled with horror at the sight of every person; the receipt of each letter made him fear some kind of misfortune; he did not allow himself to shave his beard, but burned it. He always lived on the lower floor, so that it would be more convenient to escape in case of fire, he was afraid to receive letters, to pick up a razor, he never drank from someone else’s glass, for fear of contracting some kind of disease, he wrote his business notes in Greek and Latin, then in Sanskrit and hid them in his books out of absurd fear that someone would use them, whereas this goal was much easier to achieve by locking the papers in a drawer.

Melancholic people are, as a rule, unusually shy. Gogol was embarrassed by his nose. In all the portraits, his nose looks different - so, with the help of artists, the writer tried to confuse future biographers. Seven years before his death, the writer warned in his will: “I bequeath my body not to be buried until obvious signs of decomposition appear.” They did not listen to Gogol, and when the remains were reburied in 1931, a skeleton with a skull turned to one side was found in the coffin. According to other data, the skull was completely absent. According to rumors, Gogol died a virgin. In any case, it is not known about any of his connections with women.

The subtle mental organization does not leave melancholy until the very last minute of life. When Gogol was little, his grandmother, Tatyana Semyonovna, told him about the divine staircase: angels lowered it from heaven, giving their hand to the soul of the deceased. Gogol’s last words were: “Stairs! Hurry up and give me the stairs!”

Melancholic people usually have severely low self-esteem. What happened in Gogol’s apartment on the night of February 12, 1852 is not known for certain. Biographers, through joint titanic efforts, tried literally minute by minute to reconstruct the events of that night, but what is absolutely certain is that until three o’clock in the morning Gogol prayed fervently. Then he took his briefcase, took out some sheets of paper from it, and ordered everything that was left in it to be immediately burned. After which he crossed himself and, returning to bed, sobbed uncontrollably until the morning. It is traditionally believed that that night Gogol burned the second volume of Dead Souls.

Melancholy devoted husband and friend. Even in an unsuccessful marriage, she is tolerant of her husband’s shortcomings and is reluctant to break off the relationship. In friendship and love, she does not try to lead, voluntarily giving the initiative to her partner. It is well known that Tchaikovsky’s marriage was extremely unsuccessful. To questions about how he managed to get married, Tchaikovsky, thinking about Tatyana from his opera “Eugene Onegin,” invariably answered: “It’s very simple, I confused my wife with my Tatyana.”

Looking at a melancholic person superficially, you might think that he leads a quiet, measured life, calm, like a boa constrictor and peaceful, like Mahatma Gandhi. In fact, when the rich inner world of melancholicity breaks out as a fountain of emotions, the full depth of her feelings and experiences becomes clear to those around her.

Melancholy Anna Akhmatova did not go into exile after the revolution of 1917; she understood the depth of change, their inevitability and their tragedy, and stayed with the people.

I had a voice. He called comfortingly, He said: “Come here, Leave your deaf and sinful land, Leave Russia forever. I will wash the blood from your hands, I will take the black shame out of my heart, I will cover the pain of defeats and insults with a new name.” But indifferently and calmly I covered my ears with my hands, so that the sorrowful spirit would not be defiled by this unworthy speech.

How could she leave the land where “the gaze of calm tanned women” sunk into her soul:

You know, I languish in captivity, praying for the death of the Lord, But the meager land of Tver is painfully memorable to me. A crane at an old well, Above it there are clouds like boiling water, In the fields there are creaky gates, And the smell of bread, and melancholy. And those dim expanses, Where even the voice of the wind is weak, And the condemning glances of Calm tanned women.

Petr Kovalev Other articles by the author: https://www.podskazki.info/karta-statej/

Features of a melancholic woman

A girl of this character is a very modest, often complex person who avoids large and noisy companies. From the outside, she may seem a little slow. Outwardly, she shows practically no emotions, although a storm can occur inside. Typically, melancholic women are very creative; they like to decorate their homes, doing things with their own hands, sewing or knitting clothes for their loved ones.

Melancholic woman

How to raise a melancholic child

From early childhood, a melancholic child loves logic toys, willingly learns about the world around him, and is inquisitive. But he may often not make contact with his peers. The child studies well at school and has good behavior, but rarely responds on his own initiative in class. At the same time, such a child may completely lose interest in the subject if the teacher offended or insulted him.

Parents of a melancholic child need to carefully filter the information coming to the child. Thanks to their well-developed imagination and heightened sensitivity, such children have a hard time coping with cruel scenes from films or even fairy tales.

A melancholic teenager needs the support of his environment and relatives, gets tired quickly, and is very worried about the distribution of forces in the class. Boys have a hard time with failure and can become interested in collecting and sports. The girls are quiet and willing to carry out their teachers’ instructions. They often become teachers' favorites, regardless of their academic performance.

Relationships and compatibility with other temperament types

To find common ground, it is important to have common interests. But sometimes this may not be enough. It would seem that there is a common cause or hobby, something to discuss, but different characters do not allow them to get closer. It turns out that temperament also plays an important role in successful communication. Let's figure out how a melancholic person feels next to people of a different type of temperament, and who is suitable for him.

With a choleric person

Choleric is considered the most “mental” type of temperament. These are people with an explosive character who can shout if something doesn’t go according to plan. They are constantly nervous, even over small things, and take it out on others. But they also think very quickly and in critical situations make decisions faster than others.

Of all the types of temperament, a melancholic person combines worst of all in a relationship with a choleric person. He may simply be “crushed” by the latter’s irrepressible energy and strength of character. A choleric person can often communicate in a raised tone and cannot hold back harsh words, while melancholic people are, as a rule, quite touchy people.

With a sanguine person

People of this type are considered the most sociable and positive. Often such people are portrayed as cheerful and always laughing. A sanguine person belongs to the extroverted psychotype.

He is an optimist, a good listener and a pleasant conversationalist. A sanguine person easily finds a common language with a melancholic person, being an inspiration for him. It charges you with energy, helps you overcome internal pressures and move towards your goal. An ideal combination, since it is a sanguine person who can stir up a melancholic person.

With a phlegmatic person

Phlegmatic people are deservedly considered the calmest people. It’s hard to piss them off, but if this person gets angry, then this is comparable to a disaster, since the slower he starts, the slower he cools down. Phlegmatic and melancholic get along well with each other. This will be an even relationship or friendship without strong emotional outbursts.

With a melancholic person

This may seem like the perfect combination. After all, who can better understand a melancholic person if not exactly the same? Yes, such a union will be idyll. And it will be a measured and stable relationship. No “Italian” quarrels with showdowns, breaking dishes, and so on. But if a melancholic person needs a person who can inspire him to move forward, then it is better to take a closer look at a representative of a different type.

To learn how to get along with people, you can undergo special training.

The online intensive “Effective Communication” is suitable for:

1. Entrepreneurs, executives, top managers.
2. For those who work with clients, middle managers, and freelancers.
3. To everyone who is involved in raising children.
4. Anyone who wants to improve their communication with others.

The author of the course is Oleg Kalinichev, an expert in nonverbal behavior, emotional intelligence and lie detection. Accredited trainer Paul Ekman International. Managing Director of Paul Ekman International in Russia (PEI Russia).

You will learn:

1. Communicate with closed people.
2. Coping with daily problems involving other people.
3. Influence your environment and much more.

The course lasts 1 month and contains 33 video lectures, 26 exercises, 6 tests + webinars with emotional intelligence experts.

The training consists of 4 blocks:

1. Emotions. Basics.
2. Emotional stability and emotional flexibility.
3. Social efficiency.
4. Building harmonious relationships.

How it goes:

1. You are watching video lectures.
2. Then you complete independent tasks to reinforce the material.
3. Participate in webinars and discuss difficult issues.
4. Take tests on the material you have studied.
5. You complete the intensive course and receive a certificate.

The cost of completing it independently is 1,040 rubles, with a curator – 2,370 rubles.

They will refund your money if you decide within 7 days that the course is not suitable for you.

Characteristics of a melancholic person

Determining that a melancholic person is in front of you is quite simple. He is usually distinguished by a quiet voice, inexpressive and weak facial expressions and gestures. Such people do not particularly like to talk with others; they are often immersed in their own thoughts. Despite their very high sensitivity and vulnerability, melancholic people rarely show their emotions in public.

If a melancholic person is having a conversation with someone, then he really likes to argue, showing stubbornness. However, his arguments are valid. This is not surprising, since they, like phlegmatic people, are characterized by a tendency to analysis and detailed study of the subject; They also tend to plan their actions in advance. The melancholic person strives to take into account all the nuances in his future actions in order to avoid any surprises. Abrupt changes in the situation, unexpected turns of events confuse them, so they try to avoid it. Unpredictability can make them feel anxious and even lead to panic.

Melancholic people are not very fond of active actions; they get tired of them faster and more often than those with other temperaments. Instead of walking, attending noisy gatherings, parties, they prefer to spend time reading books or on the computer, or creative activities.

If a man is melancholic, then he usually has good manners, carefully monitors his appearance, and behaves politely with the opposite sex. He is ready to guard and protect his beloved from any adversity. Such a man likes to plan his affairs and be sure to implement what he has planned. If he gave his word, he will certainly fulfill it. A melancholic man has an enviable constancy of character and is not inclined to change his mood abruptly.

At the same time, such men are characterized by anxiety and pessimistic attitudes. He often has severely low self-esteem, although you can’t tell by his appearance. Such men are often lonely because they have a very subtle mental organization that many women are unable to understand. The best partner for him will be a refined nature who is able to understand his character and accept him for who he is.

Much of what has been said is also true for a melancholic woman. She is prone to contemplation and thoughtfulness, and can sit idle for hours. Such a woman cannot stand arguments, scandals, conflicts; even a small disagreement can put her in a sad mood.

A melancholic woman does not often go to parties. And just as rarely does she make new friends; In general, she has few friends and acquaintances. At the same time, she maintains very warm relationships with old friends that will be permanent or at least very long. This reflects her penchant for constancy in her relationships with others.

Such a woman suffers from self-doubt, she seems unattractive to herself, and goes too deep into introspection. Even if feelings overwhelm her, she cannot talk about them so easily. Manifestations of emotions, including positive ones, take too much energy from such a woman, and soon they want to relax and retire.

A melancholic woman tends to be idealistic, including in relation to men. She wants to receive only the most ideal from life; and a real man in her mind must be brave, decisive, strong. If she does not find such an ideal in life, then she may become completely disappointed in men and for a long time after that not think about relationships at all. As a rule, such a woman likes it when a man is the head of the family. Such women have a serious attitude towards family and marriage, they are good housewives and faithful wives. Like men of the same temperament, such women prefer creative work.

Professions such as poet, artist, musician, analyst, and psychologist are more common for melancholic people.

A child with a melancholic temperament is quiet and kind. He prefers to spend time with his family and close friends whom he can completely trust. If such a child meets a stranger, he may get scared, cry, run away, and treat strangers with distrust, although there may be no reason for this.

Such a child is very impressionable and at the same time obedient. He easily obeys adults or older peers, which can lead to him becoming dependent on others in the future.

A melancholic child does not like to enter into conflicts; he avoids all kinds of disagreements; Therefore, he doesn't really like to play or do anything else in a company, he prefers to do things alone. He most likes creative activities - drawing, music, reading, etc.

You need to talk to such a child calmly and kindly, carefully explain to him what he did wrong, and in no case should you scold him, blame him, or speak to him in a raised voice. In a calm environment, he will understand well what is being said to him, otherwise he may not understand anything at all.

Ideal job for a melancholic person

For a person of a melancholic nature, it is better to choose professions that minimize interaction with people and require attention to detail. For example, the work of a manager or advertising agent will not suit them, since this type of activity involves constant contact with a large number of strangers.

You can choose monotonous activities that require periodic use of thinking. List of suitable professions for a melancholic person in which he can succeed:

• analyst;
• literary editor;
• programmer;
• designer;
• advertising developer;
• writer;
• psychologist (subject to non-group practice), etc.

Although a melancholic person prefers to work alone, if the team is small and close-knit, with a homely atmosphere, so to speak, then these conditions are quite comfortable for him.

Professions for melancholic people

There are no restrictions in determining the professional sphere of a melancholic person. The main thing is that the melancholic person has frequent breaks for short rest. In other words, a schedule that works best for them is two to three hours of work followed by a 20 to 30 minute break. During a break, it is useful for them to simply take a break from work, drink tea or take a walk outside.

It is best if they work in a well-coordinated and friendly team.

Professions more suitable for a melancholic person:

• librarians,

nannies,

• nurses,
• and other employees who are not required to carry out important assignments in a short time.

Famous melancholic personalities

There are a lot of examples where famous people who achieved success had a melancholy character. It is noteworthy that their activities were mainly related to creativity in one form or another.

Famous melancholic people:

• Keanu Reeves;
• Johnny Depp;
• Michael Jackson;
• Megan Fox:
• Charles Robert Darwin;
• Fedor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky;
• Sergei Alexandrovich Yesenin;
• Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol;
• Pavel Sergeevich Butor (coming soon!);
• Isaac Newton and others

Melancholic Johnny Depp

What to do if I'm melancholic - my personal opinion

How can a melancholic person live in modern society without breaking out of the general rhythm? To be honest, I wanted to write a separate article on this topic, but decided to limit myself to a short text within the framework of this article.

Friends, I myself am melancholic and an introvert, and everything described above is about me. This is considered to be the weakest type of temperament. But to be honest, I don’t care about this judgment. I have my own opinion on this matter, and the facts from my life confirm it.

Yes, sometimes this makes it difficult. Yes, sometimes I can get carried away over trifles, I can be offended by a person, it would seem, because of a trifle. By the way, I learned to deal with this. How exactly - read my article.

Constant internal dialogue, analysis of my past actions, anxiety that comes from out of nowhere, fatigue from long-term communication (especially uninteresting), physical fatigue, sometimes slowness and the like - all this is present in me, and no matter how hard I try to change it, nothing works. Therefore, you need to turn everything into “plus”.

The most important thing is to accept yourself, stop comparing yourself to other people and start enjoying yourself and your capabilities. Now I’ll tell you how I do it (the process, of course, is still far from complete, but a start has been made).

You need to clearly understand your trump cards. And a melancholic person has a lot of them!

Responsibility. For example, I know for sure that if a matter is interesting to me, then I will approach it with great responsibility. Especially if someone asked me to help and I agreed. I will carry it out meticulously. Yes, speed suffers, but until the quality, in my opinion, reaches the ideal, I will not finish the work. To turn this feature into a “plus”, I just needed to choose the right activity.

Analytical thinking. I'm just in awe of this! Not to say that I develop this side greatly, but even the basic skills given to me by nature are enough to stand out from the crowd and think differently: think ahead, analyze the actions of other people, etc. This is truly a strength and it is inherent melancholic people!

A sense of beauty and the ability to feel people. This is a characteristic of absolutely any melancholic person. Yes, because of this we can sometimes seem too sentimental, but this can also be corrected. For example, when I communicate with a person, I can immediately determine approximately who he is and what kind of energy he carries. True, friends, and this is cool! If you correctly combine analytical thinking and the ability to feel people, then we will turn out to be the best psychologist in the world. And if you are a good practicing psychologist, then you can easily control those around you.

Leadership. It is believed that a melancholic person cannot be a leader. And I'll tell you that this is nonsense. It's just that the leadership format is different. You will not lead the crowd into battle by shouting slogans, but you will calmly control both the captain and the crowd. You can easily gain leadership in any team and do it without anyone even noticing. How – I described in detail in the previous article. That's right, it's not that difficult, because you feel every person perfectly. You just need to know certain tricks, that's all!

Relationships “man - woman”. Again, for some reason, everyone around me thinks that a melancholic man has a hard time with women and vice versa. And I can say with confidence that this is nonsense, but not entirely! For example, it was really hard for me before. And rightly so, girls love obvious leaders (choleric people), cheerful people (sanguine people), guys who don’t whine. And this is all true. But guys! Those abilities that are already inherent in us by nature can be applied to women in such a way that everyone else will be no match for us! Don't believe me?

We feel a woman very well - this is a huge plus for guys. After all, all women are very emotional, and knowing the reason for their actions, plus analytical abilities to develop certain strategies, we can always control the situation. You just need to know certain tricks and that’s it. And for this, friends, you need to study seduction. “Romantic” style - who can be a romantic better than a melancholic person?

We are shy, but it can be cured with practice. We don’t like noisy companies - it’s unlikely to be cured - which means we shouldn’t go to noisy places, but go where it’s comfortable.

In general, friends, a melancholic person has a lot of advantages. Just to understand them and learn how to use them correctly, you need:

1. Accept yourself and understand what you can and want to change, and what you cannot or do not want.
2. Eliminate what is unacceptable to you.
3. Constantly work on yourself.
4. Compare “I am now” with “I was then”, and in no case with other people.

Don't like your job, are you very tired of it? So, maybe it's because she's not right for you at all? Quit, just do it wisely.

I understand your situation and since you are reading this article, I have an effective solution for you. Get training. For example, you are shy and your communication skills suffer, unlike a sanguine person, for example - take communication training.

Also download your advantages. For example, by nature, as a melancholic person, you are endowed with a unique ability to feel people’s emotions. But it’s not clear how to work with all this, right? This means you need to improve your emotional intelligence. I recommend you the “Emotional Intelligence” training, which is conducted by the famous trainer Oleg Kalinichev, a famous consultant, director of Paul Ekman International.

Vikium offers a 7-day money back guarantee.

This investment in yourself will pay off very quickly, and you will become much more productive. Completing the course will allow you to understand your own emotions and the emotions of other people, determine when you are being lied to, understand people's facial expressions and resolve conflicts. The course is aimed at developing the skill of remaining calm in any situation, and the main value of the training is increasing self-esteem and self-confidence.

You can also find other training options on the Vikium website. Try it, it's free. In any case, there is a guarantee that you will improve yourself in the field of communication and relationships with people. There is a review article on our blog, read:

• Brain simulators and courses Vikium - the most detailed and honest review of the online learning platform + reviews

That's it, friends. Whether we are melancholic or sanguine, introverted or extroverted - all this is not as critical as it seems at first glance. Let's not give up, but start working on ourselves!

Who is a melancholic person?

Melancholic is one of the four types of temperament, as defined by Hippocrates.
In ancient science it was believed that in people with this temperament the predominant fluid in the body is black bile - “melaina chole”, hence the name. In this classification , melancholic

- This is a type of personality that can be described as deeply worried even about minor failures, easily wounded, although outwardly reacting sluggishly to what is happening.

Such people have a very high sensitivity of the nervous system, so they are able to react even to small changes in the surrounding reality. This is a very important trait because it can develop creative activity. Indeed, many great people were precisely melancholic; most often these are people of creative professions - writers, artists and especially composers. Franz Liszt, Pyotr Tchaikovsky, Rene Descartes, Charles Darwin, Nikolai Gogol and many other celebrities had this temperament. And Aristotle even assumed that all outstanding personalities were necessarily melancholic. History shows that it is difficult to agree with this, but this type of temperament is indeed one of the most common in the creative environment. It should be added to this that the owners of this temperament are relatively unsociable and often strive for loneliness, which is also one of the hallmarks of a creative nature.

The mentioned outstanding individuals managed to overcome the shortcomings of their temperament and use its advantages. They were able to convey to humanity their deepest emotional experiences. Compared to them, owners of other character types can often seem callous and insensitive. It turns out that melancholic people help humanity become more humane, and this, of course, leads to social progress.

In favorable conditions, familiar to a melancholic person, he is able to successfully cope with all his tasks. Difficulties arise in difficult situations for which a person has not had time to prepare. In such conditions, he may show excessive vulnerability, aloofness and isolation.

Melancholic people are also distinguished by a rich imagination. This allows them to predict tragic (and other) events long before they happen. The event may not even happen at all, but the owner of such a temperament still becomes sad, becomes despondent, and sympathizes with non-existent victims. Seeing problems long before they appear is undoubtedly a valuable character trait that can save humanity from big mistakes and crimes.

But the strong imagination of melancholic people also has another side. Sometimes it is impossible to understand what brought a person into a depressed mood, since outwardly there was no reason for this. It’s just that the owner of this temperament lives more in his inner world than in the surrounding reality.