How puberty begins in boys: the appearance of wet dreams, hair and penis growth, changes in voice and first sperm

Has your sweet child become not himself? Is he trying to show his superiority or, on the contrary, is he withdrawn? At the same time, is he a middle school student? Everything is fine. This is a transitional age. Read on to learn about its characteristics in boys.

For boys, the transitional stage of maturation falls at the ages of 12 (14) – 17 (18) years. The peak of negative reactions is the stage from 14 to 16 years. The negative phase ends with searching for a friend, longing for a friend. The peak of emotional instability occurs at 11-13 years.

Reasons for behavioral changes during puberty

During puberty, the brain produces a hormone called GnRH. It affects the pituitary gland, as a result of which two more hormones begin their work - luteinizing and follicle-stimulating. They affect the girl's ovaries. Estrogen is added to the above hormones and they all affect the girl’s body and prepare her for procreation.

An imbalance of hormones in the body often leads to changes in a girl's behavior. Irritability, depression, rudeness, and mood swings appear. It happens that with such changes, some organs do not have time to grow and develop properly.

Therefore, malaise occurs, loss of consciousness, the teenage girl experiences awkwardness, movements become clumsy, and she quickly gets tired. Each child has his own individual psychological and mental changes. It depends on heredity, environment, method of education, living conditions and social circle.

These factors influence individually and in combination both positively and negatively on a teenager. Nervousness and restlessness are becoming increasingly common. The girl wants to communicate with adults as an equal; she may start smoking, drinking alcohol or drugs, thinking that this will make her appear older.

Therefore, parents should always monitor the slightest changes in the teenager’s behavior and be honest and sincere with the girl, provide support, and, if necessary, contact a child psychologist.

Nutrition during puberty should be complete and varied: rice, dairy products, meat, vegetables, fish, whole grain bread. You should avoid sweets and quick snacks. Sleep duration should be at least 8 hours.

Conversation between mother and daughter

It is important to understand that your daughter is no longer a child. She may not feel like an adult yet, but she knows that her body is changing, and in fact she already wants to perceive herself as a woman. Teenage girls, as a rule, strive to appear even more mature than they are. In addition, an important feature of adolescence in girls is the discrepancy between calendar and biological age. This means that a girl’s biological age may be slightly behind the calendar age or, conversely, ahead of it. In addition, puberty does not begin at the same time for all girls and manifests itself differently. Therefore, a girl may be worried that her breasts have not yet increased as much as those of her classmates, or that she has already started menstruation, although other girls are still waiting for them... All these changes can cause stress or even frighten your daughter.

Three main aspects that are important to convey to a teenage girl:

It happens to all girls - at one time or another. They may not talk about it, but even the most popular girls at school care whether their deodorant works well enough or whether no one will notice the spare sanitary pad in it in their bag. (Believe me, it's true: this bothers all girls!).
All these changes are completely normal! Even if the breasts have become more sensitive and hurt at the slightest touch, even if each menstruation begins with attacks of pain in the lower abdomen, this does not mean that the girl is ill or something is wrong with her body.
It’s easy to “survive” this period - with a little help and support from your mother.

Your task is to find the exact time and opportunity for a frank conversation. The girl needs to discuss everything that worries him with someone - openly, honestly and in an adult way. Teenagers lose close contact with their parents over time, so, apparently, your daughter has no idea how much useful advice her mother can give her when she also went through all these changes. Therefore, your task is to find the exact time and opportunity for a frank conversation. And remember: you can’t laugh at what’s bothering your daughter, even though an adult might find the problems of a teenage girl really funny.

Psychologists advise starting such a conversation in a car, say, on the way to school, when there is no one in the car except you. Talking about uncomfortable things will be much easier by the way, because you won't have to look at each other. The conversation will take on a more trusting tone if you start by talking about your own feelings, fears and complexes in adolescence caused by the physiological changes of puberty.

Let's try to give simple answers to the most common questions that a girl has about the changes in her body associated with puberty.

Unwanted hair

The appearance of hair in unwanted places is another unpleasant but common sign of puberty. Don’t think that a girl’s hair will appear only in the bikini area or in the armpit: hair on the arms and legs will become more noticeable, and sometimes girls also develop hair on the face, in particular above the upper lip. Again, this is the result of “oversaturation” of the body with sex hormones. But for a girl who primarily thinks about beauty and aesthetic appearance, this does not make it any easier...

How to prepare:

To minimize the external signs of unwanted hair, cosmetic products and procedures can be recommended, in particular waxing or hair bleaching. The mother’s task is to make sure that all sanitary and hygienic standards are met during the procedure. That is why it would be more appropriate to help the girl choose a qualified and competent cosmetologist.
A girl can shave her legs, armpits and bikini line, but not her face - this is only for guys!
Make sure she has a safe shaving machine designed specifically for women. She will also need cosmetics: foam or shaving gel, aftershave lotion, etc.
If a girl experiences intense hair growth in unwanted places, painful and irregular menstruation, and severe acne on the skin, you should consult a gynecologist. After all, all these signs can be symptoms of polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). But to establish an accurate diagnosis, special studies will be needed.

If the diagnosis is confirmed, the doctor will help you choose a special course of therapy to control hormone levels and reduce the unpleasant manifestations of the disease.

Later development

Boys with a late onset of puberty generally have long legs and a short torso. The main symptoms are the absence of pubic hair growth at the age of fifteen, and the genitals by the age of thirteen. Delayed maturation can be caused by diseases associated with pathologies in the structure of chromosomes, for example, Klinefelter syndrome. The presence of diabetes mellitus, anemia, renal failure or the effect of tumor processes in the brain also has an impact. A decrease in hormone stimulation affects the timeliness of development. The cause of temporary deviations may be a hereditary factor. If one of the parents had delayed puberty, then the possibility of passing on developmental characteristics increases.

Psychology of Personality

Adolescents during puberty are characterized by certain personality traits. Taking these features into account is important for the prevention of mental disorders and proper education. It should be borne in mind that the severity of certain personality traits varies depending on a person’s gender, age and individual qualities.

Basic personality traits

Inadequate self-esteem. The desire for self-expression, ostentatious adulthood, recognition of one’s own authority and intellectual development contribute to the formation of a teenager’s view of his own position in society. People at this age are characterized by reduced or inadequately high self-esteem. At an older age, this problem usually disappears, but it is possible to form complexes that constantly affect self-esteem.
Impulsive behavior. Pragmatism is not a popular outlook among teenagers due to lack of personal experience and emotional instability.
Lack of experience, “hot mind,” lack of independence and desire to learn new things are the factors that determine a teenager’s gullibility and naivety.
Emotional lability is an unstable mental state that is typical for many adolescents. This personality trait is manifested by constant mood swings, irritability and aggressiveness. The child's mood during the day may alternate with periods of tearfulness and emotional agitation.
Undeveloped emotional-volitional control. This feature can also be associated with emotional instability and suggestibility. Inhibitory processes associated with the functions of the cerebral cortex are still developing during puberty, so young people have difficulty controlling their own impulses. An adult can almost always stop in time due to the instinct of self-preservation or life experience, but such a psychological mechanism may simply not be available to children.

All of these features distinguish a teenager from an adult. Psychologists call the preservation of such personality traits in adults infantilism.

Recommendations for parents

Of all the elements of puberty, the phenomenon of nocturnal ejaculation can cause the greatest indignation (fear, embarrassment, misunderstanding, uncertainty) in boys. It's important to talk to your son about this. It is important for boys, like girls, to know the features of their reproductive system (in advance).
If you can’t talk to a teenager about puberty yourself (by the way, believe me, he experiences no less discomfort), then just give him a good book with accessible information. The boy will decide for himself what exactly and when he wants to learn from it.
Give your teen skin care tips or take them to a dermatologist. Teenagers are very important to their appearance.
Don’t ignore your teenager’s feelings about his appearance, even if you consider your son ideal. It is important to explain that this is temporary and a person’s appearance is formed anatomically before the age of 20, and later can be easily corrected on their own.
Don't make the situation worse by shouting about the insignificance of his problems.
Remember that deviant behavior, which is common in adolescents, is compensation for an inferiority complex. It is important to figure out why a teenager is not confident and help.
Judge the actions, not the teenager.
You definitely love it.
Success largely depends on self-esteem. Self-esteem must be supported from the outside (the task of parents). Believe me, a teenager scolds himself enough and focuses on his shortcomings. Your task, as opposed to noticing only positive aspects. At least focus attention on them.
Communication with peers and hobbies are very important. If it does not harm the child and society, then let him listen to “creepy” music or look “scary”.
In terms of restrictions, we need to present a united front. A teenager should not be able to find a “loophole” in the family.

Thus, the task of the parents of a teenage boy is to teach him to act independently, take responsibility for his actions, choose his social circle and life guidelines. It is important to promote the development of positive character traits and reduce the severity of negative ones (or accentuations). To do this, you can conduct conversations, independently research the personality (questionnaires, surveys).

Self-knowledge and self-determination are the basis of age. For boys, self-determination is more focused on professional activities. Often they even strive to find a part-time job. This is good and should not be prevented. But we need to help set adequate priorities and find a compromise together.

However, there is also the opposite option - passivity. Then you need to help your teenager find a hobby.

When interacting with a teenager, it is important to avoid authoritarianism and cruelty, liberalism (“family idol”), overprotection and hypoprotection. These are destructive parenting styles. They have a destructive impact on the relationship between children and parents and their personalities.

The establishment of a friendly cooperative relationship with a teenager will be facilitated by:

visual and tactile contact (a natural need of all people, often unconscious);
active listening (voicing the child’s feelings: “you’re upset because you can’t do your homework”);
pronouncing your feelings, especially negative ones (but not “you upset me,” but “I’m upset,” that is, use I-statements).

Premature ripening

Early puberty in boys is quite rare. Usually the beginning of the maturation process is included in the standard framework. The earliest period of development is ten years, and the latest is fourteen. Boys have narrower shoulders and a wider pelvis than their peers. Precocious maturation is characterized by strong sexual urges during childhood. There are often cases when, along with this phenomenon, mental retardation is detected. True premature puberty is caused by three reasons: disturbances in the functioning of the hypothalamus, the influence of previous brain diseases, and the idiopathic form. Timely treatment is necessary as children stop growing prematurely.

Signs of adolescence

In boys, adolescence begins with swelling of the testicles, and later the penis and other genital organs enlarge. This occurs on average at 11-15 years of age.
At the same time, hair appears in the genital area.
After a couple of years, hair begins to appear on the face and body.
There is a break in the voice (changes from low to high).
At the very beginning of maturation, a slight enlargement of the mammary glands may be observed, which disappears after a year or two.
Night ejaculations.
Reactions common to both sexes (aggression, inconsistency, fatigue, maximalism).
The desire to demonstrate one's physical strength.

What influences the onset of development

Features of puberty in girls are determined by many factors. The main ones include the following:

Genetic characteristics of each girl. In most cases, puberty begins at approximately the same age as mothers and grandmothers. Individual genes responsible for such changes in the body have not yet been identified. All data is based only on long-term observations.
General maturation of the population . The current generation of girls is characterized by earlier puberty. Acceleration is due to many factors.

Polluted habitat . In the modern world, girls have to develop in conditions of industrial pollution. For example, earlier puberty can be triggered by cosmetics containing estrogens and phthalates (the latter are used in the production of toys and plastic containers).

Also, waste with hormone-active substances may be in the environment - near farms. There are controversial debates about baby food bottles and sporting goods - they contain bisphenol A, which can increase the level of estrogen in the body.

Nutritional features. Adipose tissue is a kind of estrogen depot - here they are partially synthesized. Girls who are somewhat overweight experience an earlier onset of menstruation and other signs of puberty than those who are thin.

Racial affiliations. The role of behavior and living conditions of girls is important. Thus, puberty is observed earlier in the Negroid race, later in Asians and those who live in the highlands.

Psychological problems

Adolescence in boys is necessarily accompanied by changes in character and behavior. It turns out that boys are no less worried about their own appearance than girls. They make an effort and try to take better care of themselves, and are aggressive towards criticism about the created image.

Dissatisfaction with everything is a natural manifestation of adolescence; it causes shyness, isolation and self-doubt.

During the transition period, the boy's character and behavior sometimes changes dramatically. The cause may also be physiological factors: increased sweating, unexpected acne, constantly oily hair. But at this time the boy wants to please girls, his interest awakens!

As a result of dissatisfaction with oneself, increased nervousness and sudden aggression often occur. Adolescence signals itself through rudeness towards parents, older people, and teachers. An outburst of emotions is a feature of the age stage; its reason lies in the rapid restructuring of the body. The hormones responsible for puberty in a child’s body are called androgens.

During adolescence, the boy begins to position himself as an adult man. He wants to prove to others that he is capable of solving his own problems on his own. Considering themselves an adult, adolescents in adolescence often perform “feats” under the influence of emotions, without realizing the possible consequences.

Adults have only one way out - they need to gently help the teenager navigate the situation, give unobtrusive but sensible advice, and suggest how to cope with the problem.