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For everything important in life you have to pay not with money, but with emotions, nerves and part of the soul. But at one point you may discover that there are no more emotions, your nerves are frayed and there is emptiness in your soul. What to do when you have lost your true course and are lost in life?
“It just seems like they pay for everything with money. For everything that is really important, they pay with pieces of the soul.” Dmitry Yemets
Feeling empty in your soul, heaviness in your heart, confusion in your head, but everything is bad in life? There are hard times when everything gets boring. Life burns everything inside, giving rise to depression, apathy, suicidal tendencies and indifference. At such a moment, you want to howl like a wolf, give up and float limply with the flow.
But this is a bad thought. It gets even worse, and depression and anger at the whole world progresses. You can't give up when you feel bad. You can't tolerate it when something doesn't suit you. You cannot betray yourself and your future.
What is the soul?
The concept of soul hides a certain immaterial essence of higher matters. It determines our sensations, thoughts, desires, feelings, psychology. In ancient times, the soul was divided into several parts: mind, vision, hearing, smell, touch, taste, voice, and the ability to reproduce.
Now every religion connects a person’s soul with God, and the soul of every person is immortal. Someday, every person's soul will find eternal peace in a distant place, but while he lives, this does not happen. His soul is tossing and searching for itself.
In life, every person experiences mental turmoil and wounds. They say that the soul weighs 21 grams. But sometimes there is such a heaviness in the soul that it cannot be expressed in words. You feel terribly alone and with an empty soul. Alone in the whole world. No one needs it.
Causes of emptiness in the soul
Often, some life issues cannot be resolved and develop into protracted problems. These difficulties stop a person and do not allow him to realize himself fully. What are the main causes of mental suffering?
- Lack of love and good relationships
- Life is too ordinary and boring
- Not enough money to lead the desired lifestyle
- Lack of friends, like-minded people and the right social circle
- Planned goals cannot be achieved
- Unfulfillment in career and business
- Various defeats, difficulties and troubles
- Lack of rest and tranquility
As a result of problems in one area, a person begins to have troubles everywhere. One problem gives rise to others. Adversity, like a snowball, sweeps away a person. As a result, he becomes lost, sad, and an empty space appears in his soul. It becomes very difficult, and indifference and anger bind you.
Realize the cause of the emptiness in your soul and solve it. No girlfriend? Find a girlfriend. Not happy with your job? Replace the old one with a new one. Don't like the appearance? Take care of yourself, change your wardrobe and get involved in sports. Fight problems, don't feel sorry for yourself.
Here are the most common causes of this condition:
Fatigue. Moral exhaustion from routine or eternal bustle. Imperceptibly, but slowly and surely it contributes to the exhaustion of mental strength.- Stress. The consequences of stress from any loss, sudden changes in life.
- Shock. Similar to stress, but I would still like to highlight it separately. This is betrayal and other similar things, after which the fragile structure cannot withstand and collapses overnight.
- Losing goals. The realized goals were not replaced by others (for example, after the completion of a major project), their place remained vacant.
The acute period will be survived. But now inside you hear a frightening echo of emptiness.
Symptoms of emptiness in the soul
“A person has a hole in his soul the size of God, and everyone fills it as best they can.” Jean-Paul Sartre
The lost state does not appear and is recognized immediately. It is important to recognize these complexities and problems early on. A hole in the soul reveals itself with the following signs. The presence of several matches indicates voids.
- It is impossible to meet the expectations of parents, relatives, acquaintances
- Feelings of futility and inability to achieve goals
- Trying to please others and be nice to everyone
- Thoughts of the meaninglessness of life and one’s own uselessness appear
- You find other people and circumstances to blame for all your troubles
- You want to be perfect in everything and don’t give yourself the right to make the slightest mistake.
- Phobias, fears and obsessive thoughts constrain all actions
- You feel like you are wearing someone else’s mask, playing someone else’s role and living someone else’s life.
- Blame yourself for past troubles and engage in self-flagellation
- You feel like a victim and constantly complain to everyone around you
- Withdrawing from the flow of life and trying to stay away from it
Meet Diana.
What happened to her is like thunder in the middle of a prosperous life, capable of knocking the ground out from under one’s feet and taking away the desire to love from anyone. Diana had the opportunity to listen in time to Yuri Burlan’s training instead of standard advice from a psychologist, understand how to cope with mental pain, and find a way out. Recovery was quick and least painful.
The laws of the psyche are universal and work in any situation. It happens that a person thinks that he will never, ever love anyone again.
And even more often it happens that a person does not know that one can feel more deeply and love more strongly. Then acquaintance with his hidden inner properties opens up a new world for him.
Habitual emptiness
“When I was little, my parents did not often hug me or show me affection. They were of strict order. Mom said: “Be strong.” And I learned to endure all obstacles. I never ask anyone for help, I don’t whine or complain. I don't want to bother anyone with my problems. I’m doing well, but I have no friends or loved one.”
People learn to express their feelings, feel their diversity in themselves and direct them to others from childhood. The role of the environment is dominant here. The visual vector gives a person the greatest emotional range and potential to feel - properties that require development.
A visual child is naturally emotional, impressionable, and tearful. But each time he encounters condemnation of the expression of feelings, a ban on crying or a painful experience, he increasingly limits the expression of emotions outward. And this is what in adult life can lead to the habit of living without feelings or showing them in the wrong way.
But the need to feel remains. There is a lack that accumulates over the years and causes a feeling of spiritual emptiness. In addition, the unexpressed feeling remains in the soul in the form of fear. This further complicates the situation. It’s scary to approach, it’s scary to trust, it’s scary what they’ll think of you.
How to relearn how to feel love for someone, how to give your feelings, how to realize the desires given by nature in the visual vector?
If the property is given by nature and there is a desire, it means that there is also the strength to fulfill this desire.
You need to start with the deepest possible acquaintance with the visual vector, its properties, and desires. This will help you understand what is happening in your soul. And at the same time, get rid of false attitudes that imperceptibly control your life and interfere with your path to yourself. At the training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan, all this elaboration will happen unnoticed by you. And then it’s a matter of practice.
Wrong ways to solve spiritual emptiness
"My Soul Hurts. If you start treating, your liver will start to hurt.” Semyon Altov
What does a person begin to do when he chooses the wrong strategy for dealing with difficulties? He does not solve his problems, but avoids them. For a moment it gets better, but then a relapse occurs. What wrong solutions are there?
Distance yourself from life. A person avoids problems behind rose-colored glasses. He finds a different reality. These are the Internet, TV, social networks, shopping, computer and gambling. A person becomes more and more confused, not seeing the roots of all troubles.
Look for substitutes for happiness. Consumption of sweets, alcohol, drugs and other substances distracting from real life. This clouds the pain of the soul, but only for a short time. Each time you need an ever-increasing dose of the happiness substitute.
Behave inappropriately. When there are a lot of problems, a person begins to rush from side to side. Under the influence of emotions, he makes erroneous decisions and judgments. As a result, he makes even more mistakes, behaving extremely inappropriately.
Look for those to blame. When there are many problems, a person begins to blame everyone around him, the government, society, country, time. But shifting responsibility for your life onto others is extremely unproductive. This threatens a complete loss of control over events.
How to get rid of the feeling of emptiness in your soul?
We turned to psychologists to give advice on finding ourselves and getting rid of problems.
Do what you love
“The soul can only be raped up to a certain point. Then it just breaks like a leg bone.” Janusz Leon Wisniewski
Often we do not what we want, but what we need. As a result, the soul hurts, and we cannot find a place for ourselves. The best way to add color to your life and fill the emptiness of your soul is to do the things you love. What do you like to do? What hobbies and passions are you interested in?
Do what interests, excites and pleases you. Doing what you love lifts your mood, positive thoughts appear, and you are filled with optimistic emotions and happiness. Give some time to your passions. This will be an outlet from gray everyday life and routine. Gradually you will be able to concentrate on the right things and goals.
Give up unattainable goals and unpromising projects
Under the influence of television and the Internet, modern people have very high expectations from reality. The future life was imagined at the level of the film “The Great Gatsby” and flights on a private jet. But there are not as many millionaires and stars in this harsh world as it seems.
From youth, such unrealistic standards and goals are set that are impossible to achieve. High aspirations give rise to high disappointments, deep depressions, long binges and emptiness in the soul. Cruel reality breaks rose-colored glasses with the lenses inward. A feeling of emptiness appears in the soul and the person is paralyzed by apathy.
Some of your ideas, projects, plans and goals have no prospects. Forget about unrealistic and unattainable goals. It is often better to quit something on time to save effort, time and money. It could be a bad job, the wrong major, an unpromising relationship, or the wrong course in life.
Don’t go to the bottom with a sinking, doomed ship that has long been rotten through and through and has an incurable leak. No matter how much you scoop up the water and try, everything is already predetermined. Save yourself in a boat, even if you lose something important. Better to save yourself so you can start again somewhere else.
You will find other goals and dreams if you are able to recognize in time the futility of some endeavors. Give up unattainable goals and unpromising projects. Save yourself and your soul.
Think, dream, meditate
If you don’t think and rush forward thoughtlessly, you can end up where you least wanted. Try dreaming, thinking, meditating and other spiritual exercises. In a calm environment, think about your life, desires, dreams, feelings, aspirations, goals and dreams.
Direct the flow of life towards issues of interest. Why is there emptiness in your soul and how can you fill it? Why do you live, where are you going and what do you want? What is the meaning of your existence, what is your purpose and what is your life mission? Believe in God and the emptiness of life without him. Trust your life and heart to your soul.
Set goals and challenge yourself
“The soul grows stronger through trials.” Sergey Bodrov
Problems in life, in relationships, at work and elsewhere. Depression, loss of strength and emptiness of the soul appear when we have not won for a long time, but only suffered defeats and troubles. I want to throw up my hands and send everything to hell.
But at this moment you cannot give up. Think about what you want. What do you dream about? Set new goals and challenge yourself. Run a marathon, learn a foreign language, master a new specialty, make your body athletic, change your job, move to another city, find new friends, arrange your personal life. Set yourself new goals for which you are ready to live and fight.
Hang out with the right people
Avoid people who criticize, blame, condemn and teach you how to live. Toxic people destroy self-esteem, health and psyche. They burn out the soul with napalm, leaving it a soulless, empty and lifeless desert.
Communicate only with those good people who motivate, help and support. With whom we share common goals, views on life, thoughts and dreams. Positive people will help you achieve what you want and keep you company along the way.
Learn and develop
Often we are attacked by apathy and our souls are empty when we have hit some kind of ceiling. It may be invisible and unconscious, but it is quite real. It can be a dead end in your career, relationships, friendships and life, when you don’t know where to move.
At this moment, it is important not to indulge in depression and sadness, but to start digging the earth more actively. Read, study, educate yourself and try new things as much as possible. Make more attempts, tests, tests. Seize new chances, create opportunities and take reasonable risks.
You need to expand your boundaries, and for this you need to learn and develop. You either progress or fall into regression.
Take care of yourself and nourish your soul
In the pursuit of happiness, we are often unhappy. We are too fussy and in a hurry to live that we do not see life itself. Fatigue, stress, depression, irritation and emptiness in the soul are growing. The whole point is that we do not feel sorry for ourselves.
We ignore sleep, rest, illness, proper nutrition, sports, and appearance care. All this gives rise to self-loathing, punches a hole in the soul and gives rise to self-pity. How to calm your soul and love yourself?
- Update your wardrobe and dress beautifully
- Take care of your appearance
- Don't ignore your needs and desires
- Watch your health
- Give yourself time to sleep
- Eat right, don't skimp on food
- Get more rest, not just work
- Make yourself happy with little things
- Play sports
Take care of yourself beloved. No one will take care of you if you don't do it yourself.
Don't give up in defeat
Often we are incapacitated by one problem or several. This happens when the expected happy future collides with harsh reality. We feel shocked, angry and fearful for the future. Dreams fade like a guiding star, and we find ourselves in the dark.
It is important not to give up at this moment. If you give up, it won't get easier, it will only get worse. Accept defeat and move on. If one road leads to a dead end, you can always find another. Persevere. Those who don't give up don't lose.
Add love and happiness to life
The cause of emptiness in the soul can be excessive severity towards oneself and life. We do only the right and necessary things, but we forget about what we want. What does your soul want? What is she thinking and dreaming about? Give yourself rest, joy and entertainment. Have fun and follow the impulses of your soul.
The emptiness and hole in the soul can only be filled with happiness and love. Enjoy life every moment. Enjoy your weekdays, weekends, nights and mornings. Life is too short to sit around with a boring face and wait for a miracle. Create your own opportunities and your own positive mood. Smile more often, have fun, relax and have fun. Don't be sad, but be optimistic. Fill everything around with happiness and love.
Get to know yourself.
A bottomless and echoing emptiness settles in the souls of those who ignore their real selves. From childhood, everyone is taught to care about others, to give in to them, to compromise, to help. Why don’t schools teach that loving, understanding, and knowing yourself is also important? Why doesn’t anyone say that a person who does not respect or value himself is rarely able to show good behavior towards others?
What does it mean to “get to know yourself”? This is an opportunity to easily answer even minor questions about your own tastes, interests, and desires. For example:
- which Olivier salad tastes better - with meat or sausage;
- what music is more pleasant - blues, Latin, rap, classical or rock;
- where is it better to go on vacation - to a quiet house on the edge of the forest or to a noisy metropolis with a lot of entertainment;
- which female and male names seem more beautiful, and which are already outdated;
- What is more interesting - reading a book or watching its film adaptation;
- which smell is more fragrant - floral, citrus, woody or oriental;
- does the bride's dress have to be white?
- what is the ideal number of children in a family with average income.
These are just a few rough questions to help you get to know yourself better. However, it is not enough to give an unambiguous answer to them, consisting of one or three words. It is also important to learn to understand and explain why the choice was made in favor of a particular option.
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