How can a guy get out of the friend zone and not fall into this circle anymore?

Talking about how I love her, and she says that she loves her, but as a brother, has long become commonplace. True, back then there was no such fashionable word as friend zone, which defines such a situation. For some reason, people are more concerned not with how to avoid getting into it, but with how to get out of the friend zone. To answer this question, you need to understand how they get there and what mistakes should be avoided.

Friendzone - who is she?_8212

And yet, what is the friend zone? There is no friendship between the sexes. There are common interests and equality of relationships, but over time someone will begin to feel something more than friendly warmth. Most often this happens to men. Friendship and communication are born.

Then sympathy appears, the young man shows all signs of attention. The girl also understands that he is not indifferent to her and begins to take advantage of this state of affairs. As a result, the young man fully courtes the girl, and in return she only gives a drop of hope for something more.

Zone types

An obvious friend zone is when a girl immediately decided to dot all the i’s and, out of respect, explained to her “friend” that he cannot count on anything more than he already has. But still she does not stop taking advantage of her “friend’s” reliability. This can happen after admitting feelings or making any attempts to express them.

The hidden friend zone is dangerous because you can spend a lot of time there, wasting it. During this time, you can build a healthy and mutual relationship with another person, and not pray for your unrequited chosen one.

Why does this happen?2

The main reason for the emergence of friend zones for men is the different goals for developing relationships between men and women. The main goal of all relationships is reproduction. Natural attraction to the opposite sex is inherent in us by nature. There's no getting around this.

The goal of a relationship for men is to leave as many offspring as possible. A man is not guided by any mental abilities, logic or experience of previous relationships. For him, the main thing is the maximum attractiveness of the object. Here, of course, everyone has their own criteria for attractiveness; a man’s possibilities in the assigned task are limitless.

The greater the trace of genetic code he leaves in women, the greater his chances of fulfilling his duty to nature. Of course, now this instinct is being pushed into the framework of modern society. But, nevertheless, the selection process remained at the disposal of genes and Mother Nature. If you like it, you will be mine.

The goal of a woman’s relationship is the highest quality of the offspring born. Since she is limited by the number of children she can bear, it is important for her to choose a male suitable for this purpose. The easiest way is to surround yourself with potential partners and choose the best one by elimination.

A woman’s task is to seduce everyone from whom she is going to choose. This is where the danger lies; those who do not pass the selection end up in the friend zone. Unlike men, women have to think and use as much ingenuity as possible to achieve what they want. Having a woman like you (as in the case of a man) outwardly is not considered a victory.

How to get out of the friend zone if you are already there:

1. Downplay its importance to yourself.
2. Take care of yourself.
3. Change and upgrade the man in you.
4. Start living a vibrant life.
5. Come back and seduce her from start to finish.

Downplay its importance to yourself.

You can completely forget about her, disappear for a couple of months, let her suffer.

She shouldn't be the center of the universe for you. Let him understand that everything is cool with you even without her. You lead an interesting lifestyle.

Take care of yourself.

Start going to the gym, take care of yourself, change your style. Take care of your health, dress in a way that makes you feel more confident and sexier.

Take on some new project, be more active at work - do everything so that not a trace remains of the guy she knew at the beginning.

Change and upgrade the man in you.

This is one of the most important rules. She must understand that there is a man next to her. And she should feel like a woman. And this is much more important.

If you can give her this feeling, then you can forget about the phrase “we are just friends.”

To do this, pump up your inner state, temper your masculine core. Set goals and achieve them, stop at nothing, fight your fears and just move forward!

Develop the habit of achieving, conquering and prevailing. Get used to being responsible, build up your self-confidence, bend this world to your liking.

Start living a vibrant life.

You don’t need to come home after work and lie on the couch, watch yet another crap on TV and wash it all down with beer.

Find yourself interesting hobbies, activities, surround yourself with other girls - let her feel the competition.

How to get caught 3

Most often, people who end up in the friend zone are those who understand that they do not have reciprocal feelings for them, but they warm themselves with the hope that their chosen one has just a little time left to see how wonderful, kind and sympathetic he is. He tries with all his might to be good and runs at the first call to the object of his dreams. Such people are stupidly taken advantage of. It's comfortable. They will never be appreciated.

Women choose men according to three main criteria:

1. Reliability,
2. Force,
3. Courage.

If a man wants to show how kind, caring, attentive and charming he is, he finds himself in the exclusion zone. When choosing a mate, women associate these qualities with defenselessness and willingness to submit. And she must obey, she is a woman. This choice is made more at the subconscious level. Because women always include “kind” and “charming” in their list of ideal men.

What is the friend zone for girls, read in our article further on the link.

Tips for girls

Most often, guys end up in the friend zone. It is much easier for them to overcome the problem. If a girl is included in the number of “friends”, it is difficult to get out of addiction. Psychologists recommend doing the following:

1. Start dating another guy, or at least pretend to. You need to make your “friend” jealous. If this feeling appears, you can hope for changes in the relationship in the right direction.
2. Stop listening to your chosen one’s problems and ignore conversations about his love affairs. The main task is to make the guy change his mind. We need to make sure that he understands that this is a girl in front of him, and not a bosom friend.
3. Do not allow or refuse “sex for friendship.” Some girls think that they can win their partner's heart through sexual intimacy. Sometimes intimacy really makes a man look at a girl differently. But it also happens that the guy continues to behave as before. It's even worse if he repeatedly emphasizes that sex doesn't mean anything.
4. We need to change. There are no standard rules. You just need to make the guy notice the changes. A good move is a new hairstyle, makeup, clothing style. Along with external changes, internal ones must occur. Now you shouldn’t run to your beloved friend at the first call, answer calls instantly, or carry on long correspondence at night. As soon as the guy realizes that the light doesn’t converge on him like a wedge, his girlfriend is getting out of control, he will start to get nervous. Then the connection will either be interrupted completely, or the relationship will move to another stage.
5. Disappear from sight. A temporary separation will benefit both partners. In a different environment, the girl begins to feel differently. In such a situation, she can understand whether she wants to continue the “friendly” relationship. The guy, when separated, realizes how dear his “girlfriend” is to him.

READ
What is jealousy and how normal is it in a relationship?

Another option is to tell the truth about your feelings and that you are not satisfied with the friendship. Something needs to change: either break up or meet as a couple in love. Of course, you should give the man time to think about the situation. Three days is enough. Then you need to make a final decision.

Pull yourself out4

A man who is determined and wants to create strong mutual relationships out of the friend zone must first stop feeling sorry for himself. He needs to stop thinking that she will finally see who he really is. She has already seen and appreciated it. That's why he is where he is. How to get out of the friend zone - log out and log in again.

First of all, you need to understand what criteria the young man does not meet with his chosen one. There are few general criteria; they are divided into two types. The most important criteria for assessing a woman’s worthy chosen one are Social ones, that is, those that will be looked at not only by her, but also by all relatives and friends. Thus, this assessment will add points to her as well. So, social values:

• Financial condition. Yes, now, of course, you can start demagoguery about how mercantile all women are. But we are talking about serious adult relationships. And for serious adult relationships, the next step is family. And family is a wedding, it’s housing, it’s children. All this requires financial costs. Therefore, in the long term, the financial condition of the future man is important.
• Social status. This means even the most ordinary self-confidence. It is not necessary to be the owner of a large holding company or a factory for sewing silk panties. Social status can be expressed in the ability to make independent decisions and bear responsibility for these decisions.

• Impudence. Oddly enough, but yes - women love arrogant men, sometimes rude (but not in relation to the women themselves). Arrogance must be manifested by the ability to put one’s interests first.
• Take what he needs first. The concept of “like behind a stone wall” follows from arrogance; a woman is sure that a man is tearing to shreds everything in his path for his family.
• Intelligence. It’s clear - a man shouldn’t be stupid.
• Originality of thinking. The ability to find solutions to “hopeless” problems. In general, when a man solves problems in a woman’s life, she puts a tick on her list that he is suitable.
• It’s not for nothing that there are cases when women call in the middle of the night, frightened and in tears asking to come and fix an iron, kettle or socket that has begun to smell burnt. They already then decide to check him for the last point.

Personal qualities that a real man should have, according to statistics:

• Athletic body,
• Reliability,
• Integrity,
• Good manners,
• Coquetry.

All women are different and the mandatory presence of all these qualities cannot guarantee a choice in favor of a man. But, according to statistics, men who score 9-10 points are not considered as potential partners and husbands. Holders of 10 points are fairy-tale characters and not all women can meet the same criteria.

The golden mean of this list is 6-8 points. It is these men that women consider as ideal candidates in a relationship. If a man counts less than five points, then he should not have a question about how he ended up in the friend zone. It turns out he's not that good.

There is a way out5

There is always a way out of any situation. The most ideal thing is to pump yourself up. You should not wait for the girl to change, when she sees and realizes his super-ness. We need to show her that a man is capable of changing, that he has become different. This takes time and effort.

Ideal pumping plan:

1. Reduce communication or stop it altogether. Depending on the relationship, you should choose the one that is most suitable for the specific situation. If it is possible to completely stop seeing the object of desire, that’s good. If not, we reduce it to the minimum, without showing any initiative on our part.
2. They stopped seeing each other, but did not stop making themselves known. You should surprise your chosen one and show that you are not fixated on her and have not stopped. You need to make new acquaintances with girls and actively post photos on social networks from your vacation.
3. It will be great to acquire new interests and hobbies. It is desirable that it be an active holiday, extreme, with a lot of impressions. This will give both the young man the opportunity to unwind and the girl to see what she is losing.
4. Engage in self-development. Invest in yourself. Go in for sports, develop your hobby into a business.

Such changes in a man will 100% add a sexual brand to him. And the woman will pay attention to him herself. If this does not happen, the man must prove himself to be a real male. Make a date and show a new side of yourself. But you need to behave with a girl no longer as a friend, but as a chosen one. There is no need to remember your previous relationship during a date. She will definitely appreciate this upgrade.

It is important to understand that the man ended up in the friend zone not because he is so good, but she does not understand anything. It’s just the opposite - he doesn’t understand what she wants to see in a man. If the friendship has been for a long time, then it would be possible to study the tastes of your chosen one and acquire these qualities.

If the “friendship” did not last long, any changes for the better will make you pay attention and surprise you with positive dynamics. In any case, it is necessary to show the maximum number of “manly” qualities so that the girl appreciates not a friend, but a full-fledged partner.

Reasons for getting into the friend zone:

1. Fear of losing her.
2. No sexual activity.
3. No male display.
4. No flirting or seduction.
5. Reliability.
6. You fell in love with her before sex.
7. Rag.

Fear of losing her.

You tremble over her, agree on everything. And you think to yourself how incredibly lucky you are that such a cool girl chose you out of all the guys.

You're just idealizing her. This is the side of your fear. Look at it with an unclouded eye, evaluate the perspective, weigh the pros and cons.

Is she really that great or have you convinced yourself that she is? The dull fear of losing her leads you to insecurity. And if you are insecure, she stops being interested in you.

Do you want to communicate with a girl in the same language? Do you want to understand her? Do you want to conquer her?

Get 3 video lessons from the closed course “How to turn a feminine NO into a feminine YES”

Lesson 1: Reasons why you have difficulties with a girl; Lesson 2: The Mindset of a Successful Man; Lesson 3: 7 critical mistakes you make when communicating with a girl.

from which you will learn:

1. The reasons for your problems with the girl; 2. Limiting beliefs that prevent you from conquering her; 3. How to win over a girl you really like.

Get 3 free video lessons - https://bit.ly/2NcKccs

No sexual activity.

You are afraid to take her hand, you immediately apologize if you accidentally touched her. And in general, tactile contact is not about you.

You don't talk about sex and don't show desire in any way. Shall I tell you why? Because you have a million stereotypes in your head. Something like girls don't want sex or you're too nice a guy to openly demonstrate your sexual desires.

No male display.

She doesn't realize that there is a man next to her.

If you act like a friend to her, then what do you expect in return?

There is no flirting or seduction process.

You just chat, have dinner together, walk around the city, go to the movies, and so on.

But isn't that what friends do? Of course they do. The whole problem is that you don’t understand the process of seduction itself, how to behave correctly and what goes behind what.

You are frozen in the stage of good acquaintances and are unlikely to be able to get out of there.

Reliability.

Arrive at 3 am and bring her chocolate? Certainly! Take her second cousin to a village 150 km from the city on Saturday at 7 am? Yeah why not?

And this is your biggest mistake. You spend almost all your free time on her, you are ready to do anything for her sake and you treat her like a small child.

You fell in love with her before sex.

In fact, you haven’t had anything yet that could speak of any kind of relationship. But at some point you thought she was special and you were in love.

This is an elementary weakness, for which you will pay with the friend zone.

Rag.

If you are still wondering how to stop being a friend to her, there is only one answer - don’t be a doormat!

She shouldn't have to decide everything for the two of you. So you cease to be a man for her, but become one of those whose opinion can be ignored.