A child’s personality is formed in the family where he grows and develops in the first months of his life. Parents become the main ones in his upbringing. As the baby grows, he begins to learn about the world and himself, all this helps in his development. And communication is a consolidating factor that is accepted in society.
An adult is a product of upbringing who acquired his first personal qualities and skills in the family of his parents. Only then do the people around you, educators and teachers, friends and society as a whole, join the process. Undoubtedly, the child changes under the influence of the people around him. But the foundation for it is laid by the parents, whom the child considers all-knowing and correct.
At first, parents are concerned only with the growth of the baby, who gradually begins to remember, study and learn them. Then awareness arises when the child begins to control not only his body, but also his thoughts. When the child becomes aware, the parents move on to educate him. However, it is upbringing, according to the online magazine psytheater.com, that can become destructive in the development of a child’s personality.
What do parents do when they have children? They raise them, look after their health, feed them, and clothe them. But that is not all. Parents, in addition to satisfying all physiological needs, are involved in education. The same applies to training, when knowledge is given. Education and training develop different areas of a child’s personality, but are aimed at the same thing.
What is education? This is human programming. In other words, parents are simply programming the child for the life he will later live.
Mom and dad practically deprive the child of the right to decide for himself what kind of person he should be, what to do, what to do in a given situation, what to do with himself, with whom to communicate, etc. Adults continually tell their children what not to do. and what is possible, what is good, what is wrong. All this is programming: what to be and what actions to perform in a given situation. And this is called the beautiful word “education.”
The same thing is done by training, which gives specific, clear and unambiguous knowledge to people, unspokenly saying: “It can only be this way and no other way!” Anything that contradicts this knowledge is absurd!” People get into violent arguments when their knowledge and opinions do not coincide. Each of them considers their knowledge to be the only correct one. And none of them sees that perhaps they are all right.
Education deals with programming each person for a certain way of life. While the child is small, he does not question everything that is told to him. He obeys and trusts his parents completely. But mothers and fathers themselves do not always understand what they are trying to program in their children and how it will later affect their lives when they grow up.
Fears, complexes, internal prohibitions, beliefs, direction of thinking, behavior patterns, etc. - everything is brought up in children by parents. That is why it is already customary to say that absolutely all children are crippled by their parents, who themselves are notorious, insecure, fearful, uptight people who do not know everything.
What is the formation of a child’s personality?
The family plays an important role in shaping a child's personality. What it is? This is an impact on the baby that will contribute to his socialization, self-development, and formation as a person. It is worth noting that all people grow up differently, which means that parents resort to different methods of education.
One of the development techniques is imitation. The child simply copies the behavior and character traits and thoughts of his parents. There are various methods of raising children. And they are all attractive and effective in achieving certain results. However, there are universal methods that function regardless of the wishes and aspirations of the parents.
One of these methods is called imitation. Notice how in nature, adult animals teach their children the art of survival. The mother goes out hunting with her cubs and herself demonstrates how to catch prey, eat this or that grass, lick their lips, etc. The mother, by her own example, shows what her children need to do in order to survive. The same principle applies among people, but not everyone remembers it. The child carefully watches his parents and repeats everything they do. At the same time, he does not analyze their actions, because he believes that since his parents do this, it means it is useful in order to survive.
For example, young mothers let their children play in the sandbox, while they themselves smoke and drink on benches, discussing some topics. Children look at all this and remember. Should we then wonder why, over time, these same children begin to smoke and drink? As parents behave, so will their children.
The only way to teach children, as well as other people, is by example. Children should not be raised. Nurture in yourself what you want to instill in your child. He will look at you and copy your behavior.
Stages of raising a child:
- A parent has his own character.
- The child begins to respect his parents.
- Respecting, the child imitates his parents.
- The child asks some questions.
- Parents give advice unobtrusively.
In order for your child to listen to your opinion not only in preschool age, but also after, you should instill in him an inner feeling of respect. Once this feeling is achieved, your child will begin not only to imitate you, copying your actions and character, but also to listen to your opinion. It is very important to allow your baby to retain in his heart the feeling of love and respect that he feels for his parents, so that later he can influence his character development and regulate his behavior.
During the development process, the baby is not able to evaluate his actions and words, so he performs certain actions, paying attention to how his parents react to them. Depending on their reaction and the educational measures that will be applied to him after each committed act, the child develops certain habitual patterns of behavior.
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Definition
The phenomenon of family is studied by philosophers, historians, psychologists, and writers. There are dozens of definitions of this concept; the most succinct one calls the family the cell of society in which the birth, formation and development of a person takes place. The psychology and behavior of the person living there, as well as success in life, depend on how harmonious the relationship is and how comfortable the home is.
It would not be an exaggeration to say that the role of the family in the development of personality is fateful. It is primarily through the efforts of parents (or spouses who founded the unit of society), and secondarily through other relatives, that the education system is laid out and implemented. What it will be like (including its effectiveness) depends on the way of life of past generations, on the emotional and physical health of parents and children themselves, financial and social situation, place of residence and many other factors. It is fair to say that a person is educated by absolutely everything that surrounds him.
If the educational measures chosen by the parents are correct, then this very quickly begins to manifest itself: first in the child’s preschool and school age, then in work and social activity. Also, the wrongly chosen vector in raising children becomes visible already when the child begins to attend preschool educational institutions.
The spiritual culture of a person is also developing, and a social orientation is being formed. Since their small team represents a micromodel of the whole society for children, at home they learn to interact with other people, form life attitudes and make plans for the future.
A person learns to get to know others, starting with his closest people. Ideally, people living under the same roof build warm relationships with each other and become a small team in which everyone has their own role. Through this role, a person enriches himself and enriches the lives of his loved ones, giving them every chance for self-realization.
Nowadays, when society and the media are doing everything to destroy the integrity of the individual, the family is that stronghold of love, purity and comfort where a person finds himself and shows his best qualities that will help him fulfill his mission in life.
Formation of a child’s personality in the family
What is personality? This is the result of cultural, social and educational influences on a person. No one is born an individual. However, as one acquires knowledge, experience, develops character traits and skills, a person becomes an individual, a personality.
There are two aspects to the issue of child formation:
- The child's awareness of his place in the world. How to recognize that he has reached his development?
- The child understands the pronoun “I” and uses it.
- The child is able to control himself.
- The child is able to separate things into “good” and “bad”.
- A child can talk about himself: appearance, character, abilities, internal thoughts, sensations, experiences.
- Development of feelings and volitional sphere in order to develop certain qualities and behavior patterns.
A child becomes a person no earlier than 2 years of age, since until this time he is primarily concerned with his physical development. Self-awareness comes from the age of 3. And by the age of 5, the child stands out from the rest of the children, which makes him an individual.
Neighbors, friends, school, advertising, society as a whole undoubtedly have their influence on a person who is gradually changing. However, these changes will be minor. The foundation is laid in the child by his parents, who surround him in the first years of life. He takes their example, imitates, copies them. That is why, over time, it becomes noticeable that the child behaves in the same way as his parents.
The family is an intermediary between society and the child. Parents themselves succumb to the influence of society, absorbing moral, ethical, cultural and other foundations. Then they pass them on to the child. But still, upbringing in each family differs for the reason that each parent has not learned everything, but only certain principles of society.
- In the first year of life, parents are only concerned with the physical development of the child.
- In the second year of life, you can introduce the child to social principles.
- After reaching 2 years of age, it is necessary to instill moral principles in the child.
- After 3 years it is necessary to insist on their observance.
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Child development
D. Winnicott, studying the family and human development in it, noted, speaking about raising children: “Feeding for a child is the least of all feeding.” Any processes that are aimed at satisfying the simplest, basic needs, in fact also satisfy emotional needs. And this is especially important in relation to children.
From the moment of birth, a child is a social being. In the family, he learns to correctly build social roles and find his own among them. Human social behavior is also formed in childhood and under the influence of the behavior patterns of parents in relation to each other.
If the emotional function is correctly implemented at home, then the child learns attachment. This means that he is trained to build relationships with loved ones and take them to the next level. Very often this - the ability to be attached, to love and care for others - is not present in children who grew up outside the family or with marginal, dysfunctional parents.
But with the birth of a baby, the educational function of the family is carried out not only in relation to him. All those who surround him – parents and relatives – also develop. They discover and cultivate new qualities in themselves - the ability for selfless love, boundless tenderness, and care. People learn to create and maintain a good psychological climate at home and become an example of wisdom and love.
Education and formation of a child’s personality
The family is the first environment in which the child’s personality is formed and nurtured. Parenting differs in every family because it is based on the beliefs, fears, character traits and behavior that the parents themselves possess. Don't forget that all people are different. So it turns out that two (or one person, if there is no second parent) individuals with their own unique set of all psychological qualities create an environment for the baby in which he will grow and develop.
The environments are created different, therefore the personalities are raised different. The main tenet that parents should adhere to should be love. And the fact that a child goes through a system of rewards and punishments is a natural process of education.
It is worth noting that parents themselves are not ideal people. Therefore, they are unlikely to be able to raise an ideal child who will always do everything right. In the process of parenting, parents often make mistakes that they may not even be aware of.
With the advent of such concepts as success and leadership, scientists have seriously taken up the issue of eliminating the causes that make a person unhappy and poor. As it turns out, a lot depends on the upbringing that absolutely all people go through. Old methods cultivate in children those habits and qualities that their ancestors previously possessed. But they did not live richly and happily. It turns out that parents instill immaturity, sacrifice and a sense of self-doubt in their children. This makes it difficult to achieve success in a modern world that welcomes human leaders.
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Parenting styles
Improving cognitive abilities begins much earlier than parents think: the mother smiles at her newborn baby, takes care of him, answers questions, reads books, watches educational TV shows with the child. Even ordinary communication teaches the baby something new. These simple activities help the child realize how big the world is outside the family.
But parental upbringing does not always bring positive results and has a good effect on personality development. Sometimes relationships with them can be traumatic . After several years, this experience is defined as sad. Much depends on the style of upbringing in the family. Teachers and child psychologists distinguish three parenting styles:
- Democratic.
- Dictatorial.
- Liberal.
The democratic style is the best. Parents who adhere to it are attentive to their child, listen to his opinion, and respect the choice of the preschooler. This attitude develops independence and responsibility in the baby. With such communication, parents listen to the preschooler and try to help him in solving current problems with a kind word or advice.
Children of such parents know that they will receive participation and support in their father’s house. This understanding stays with them after they grow up. Such families promote competent sex education. Here, children of different sexes are raised differently. Using the example of parents, a preschooler observes a harmonious family union. The dictatorial style is characterized by the following criteria:
- The role of the family in nurturing the child’s personality in this case is strict.
- Any demands of the parents must be fulfilled immediately, and the child is extremely rarely allowed to have his own opinion.
- Such parents achieve obedience through coercion, threats and orders, but such behavior has a destructive effect on the individual.
The dictatorship of parents leads to internal protest or suppression of the child’s personality. In the first case, the child changes for the worse; he exhibits hypocrisy, deceit, rudeness in communication and aggression. The second case leads to passivity and apathy.
What 7 parenting mistakes do scientists identify?
- Parents do not allow their children to take risks.
Lack of risk leads to ignorance of the realities of life. The world is not simple and not nice. If parents constantly look after and care for their baby, giving 24-hour protection from any troubles, then they develop arrogance and low self-esteem in him.
The child must fall and kick his leg in order to understand what follows his actions. A teenager must endure the suffering of his first failed love in order to mature emotionally. By taking risks, trying, getting into different situations, he learns about real life.
- Parents rush too quickly to help their child.
Trying to help every time, in the very first second to begin to correct mistakes and solve all the consequences of the child’s actions, mothers and fathers develop helplessness in him. Firstly, the child begins to think that in case of failure, someone will always solve his problems. Someone will definitely clear up the unpleasant consequences. In ordinary life, no one is going to help an adult. If a child does not learn to solve difficult situations on his own, then he will be unadapted to real life.
- Excessive enthusiasm.
If parents admire their son/daughter for any reason, this leads to increased self-esteem. This direction has become encouraged in recent years. However, research shows that children begin to lie, cheat and exaggerate when they realize that only their parents admire them and others do not see anything special about them. The inability to face difficulties and perceive themselves adequately forces children to look for other ways to obtain familiar and pleasant delight.
- Encourage everyone without exception.
The inability to show children the realities of life leads to the fact that they inadequately evaluate their own actions and words. Parents often want to praise their child who has done a good deed, but not deprive other children of praise who have done nothing to achieve success. Children stop seeing the need to make efforts and work, even if they are praised even in the absence of achievements. The understanding of cause-and-effect relationships is lost when in the real world a person achieves success only after doing something for his sake, taking action, limiting his desires and straining if necessary. Parents should learn to say “no” and “not now.” Praise only for the fact that your son/daughter has achieved some (even small) success.
- The desire to edify and teach, and not to discuss mistakes.
Adolescence becomes an important moment in everyone’s life, when there is a desire to leave the care of parents and start living in real life. Mistakes, bumps, wrong actions and unpleasant consequences are inevitable here. It is important not to teach, not to force a child to give up committing bad actions, not to protect the child from real life, but to allow him to “get into trouble” while discussing the events that are happening. Parents can share their own experiences when they themselves first encountered similar difficulties to those faced by their child. But it is important not to force the child to obey, but to listen and decide for himself what to do next. He may not listen to parental instructions - that is his right. He should be allowed to make mistakes, learn from the lessons of life and understand that mom and dad are passing on their experience and conclusions, and not edifying.
- Intelligence is not related to the ability to live independently.
Parents often confuse concepts such as intelligence and the ability to be independent. A person can know a lot, but be absolutely inept in real life conditions. People are often talented in their field, but are absolutely careless in communicating with others, unable to predict the consequences of their actions. A child can be smart, but completely unadapted to real life. This indicates an erroneous upbringing, when he is given knowledge, but does not develop the skills of independent living.
- Don't live by the rules that children should live by.
What children are taught, parents must adhere to themselves. While a child is small, his parents are examples of leaders. How do they live? How are they behaving? What do you do in different situations? He learns leadership from their example. It is difficult to convince a child otherwise, that parents did wrong and they are not leaders in life. If you want your own child to succeed, then you yourself must become successful leaders in the real world. He will copy this and reach the heights of success himself when he becomes an adult.
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What functions are implemented
Each family performs social tasks, which consist of two things: meeting the needs of society (improving demographic indicators) and meeting the needs of its members (providing all family members with shelter, food, love, etc.).
The implementation of these two social tasks is facilitated by the functions of the family:
- Reproductive. The social need for the reproduction of the population of the country or the entire planet as a whole is being realized. Another role of this function is to satisfy people’s need for children who will not only inherit their genes, but also become support, support and loved ones.
- Educational. It is wrong to think that a family raises only children. In a full-fledged family with a good psychological climate, everyone, including adults, has the opportunity to develop and grow above themselves, reaching new heights. This happens because home is the rear, where they will always support, advise and guide. But the development of children is also very important. Parents and other close relatives pass on their experience to them, monitor their physical and psychological development, teach them independence and a correct understanding of good and evil. Growing children also influence their parents, encouraging them to self-education and self-development.
- Economic and economic. Thanks to this function, at all stages of the life of family members, they are provided with food, a roof over their heads and everything necessary for a normal life. Its members who are minors or disabled are supported by others.
- Restorative. This function is especially important in the matter of human development through the family, because it presupposes the presence of all conditions for the restoration and strengthening of spiritual, emotional and physical strength. At home, where they are welcomed and loved, a person relaxes, gains strength and receives motivation to work and improve himself.
- Regulatory. This function is to exercise primary control to ensure that all members of such a cell of society comply with the laws and do not violate the norms of public life. Children are taught correct behavior and the foundations of patriotism and spirituality are laid in them. By personal example, family members show each other how to behave correctly in various situations.
- Social. Through family, people socialize, that is, they learn to communicate with others. A child who grows up in a family is included in social connections from birth and learns to create them himself throughout his life.
- Communicative. Despite the fact that today social networks and forums on the Internet are very common, and offices are growing ever larger and sometimes accommodate dozens of people working together, the problem of loneliness in a crowd is becoming more and more acute. In the West, more and more often people living in megacities resort to the help of psychologists or psychoanalysts. While ideally this function is performed by household members. A person comes home when he feels bad and needs to talk it out, because here they will always understand and help. We draw vitality and inspiration from our family.
- Leisure. Organizing quality leisure time is much easier if there are people ready to support our hobbies. A family where people love each other is a universal team of cheerleaders who are not only always there, but will also support the idea of a joint holiday and make it much more vivid and memorable.
- Social status. Each family member has his own social status in relation to its other members. Due to this, children and adults learn to communicate correctly with each other and build social structures.
- Emotional. At home, everyone receives help, psychological support and protection, thanks to which the emotional stability of the people in the family is maintained. This is a special type of psychological therapy.
- Spiritual. In a family, children and adults are truly enriched spiritually. If the family is prosperous, then all its members continuously develop due to spiritual mutual enrichment.
- Sexy. A person fulfills not only spiritual, but also physical needs with his spouse. The sexual function of the family is aimed at this.
One of the most important roles a person plays in life is the family role. And the impact that this role will have on all other areas of life depends on how warm and trusting the relationship is at home.
Results of education
No matter how right or wrong the upbringing may be, in the end a person still appears with his own unique set of qualities, beliefs, feelings and habits. Upbringing still shapes personality, but how well it will be adapted to society is another question.
We should not forget that education and development occur most quickly in the process of activity, interaction, and communication. It is not through words, but through actions that certain qualities, thoughts, and feelings arise in a person. Therefore, children should be actively involved in various activities, which will contribute to their rapid development as individuals.
What influences personality development
The needs and interests of the individual, his spiritual wealth, and abilities depend on the conditions in which the child is formed. The factors that have a major influence on human development are the following:
Socialization of personality and educational process
Heredity
The starting condition, the parental program, which becomes a prerequisite for the development of positive qualities. The downside of heredity are hereditary diseases and physical defects that can limit a person’s development.
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It refers to living conditions, the biological environment (light, food, air), as well as the social environment (family, friends, society, religious and national traditions, the situation in politics, economics, science).
The environment can be specially organized, developmental, or spontaneous in nature, pedagogically uncontrollable, which leads to difficulties during the period of growing up.
Education, training
They carry a positive charge and are aimed at the formation of moral guidelines, the transfer of knowledge and experience. The process begins from the moment the baby is born, changing forms and methods, focusing on age and individual characteristics.
Independence, activity
Education is more productive if the child himself strives for something, shows interest in various aspects of activity, and is interested in play, study, and work. The educated person, becoming a subject, consciously changes himself.
