Why are some people chronically unlucky, while others shamelessly enjoy life and don’t give a damn? The answer is simple: the first, no matter how they hide it, are pessimists, and the second, don’t care. Pessimists watch football matches on TV, fight in a meaningless fight for their rights and constantly create problems out of nothing, and not only for themselves. Those who don’t give a damn play this football, know all their rights and make history. The line between healthy indifference and outright selfishness is very thin, and happy is the one who managed to feel this golden mean.
How to spot a non-groomer in a crowd? Characteristics of a person who doesn't care
Sleeps a lot, eats, drinks, dreams, travels, falls in love, relaxes, etc.;- Lives for his own pleasure ;
- Wakes up with a smile on his lips;
- Follows the motto : “If you can’t change the situation, change your attitude towards it”;
- never complains because everything is always fine with him;
- Magnetically attracts money, health and friends to itself, thanks to its optimism ;
- The time that a pessimist spends on meaningless struggle with himself or suffering, a person who doesn’t give a damn, in love with life , spends on self-improvement.
It’s easy to conclude that healthy indifference is quite appropriate and even useful.
AND FURTHER …
Don't jump to conclusions
. This habit can make life difficult in two ways. First, we assume we know what will happen, so we turn off our attention and act on that assumption. People are lousy prophets. Most of their assumptions are wrong, and therefore their actions are wrong. The second side of this habit is that we imagine that we can read minds, and seem to know why other people do, what they do, or what they think. Again wrong, and fundamentally wrong. It is this stupidity that destroys relationships like no other.
Don't be dramatic.
Many make deadly disasters out of minor failures, and react accordingly. The habit of making mountains out of molehills creates anxiety that either does not exist or is so small that there is nothing to worry about. Why do they do this? Who knows? Maybe to look and feel more important. Either way, it's as stupid as it is harmful.
Avoid stereotypes and labels.
The words you use can set you up. The language of negativity and criticism breeds the same kind of thinking. By trying to squeeze things into certain categories, you stop seeing their real meaning, thereby limiting your thinking to the point of complete uselessness. Look what's there. Don't label. You will be surprised by what you see.
Don't be a perfectionist
. Life is not just “black or white” or “all or nothing”. In most cases, “enough” means just that: enough. If you look for the perfect job, you will most likely never find it. At the same time, all other jobs will seem worse to you than they really are. You will be looking for the perfect relationship, and you will probably spend your whole life alone. Perfectionism is a mental illness that will not allow you to enjoy, but will send you every time in search of what is not there.
Don't generalize
. One or two failures are not a sign of permanent failure. And an occasional triumph does not turn you into a genius. A single event—good or bad—or even two or three events is not always a sign of a long-term trend. As a rule, things are what they are and nothing more.
Don't trust your emotions.
What you feel is not always a good indicator of what is actually happening. Just because you feel it doesn't mean it's true. Sometimes the source of emotions can be fatigue, hunger, irritation, or just a runny nose. Whether you feel good or bad, the future will not change. Feelings may be true, but they are not truth.
Don't give in to apathy.
Practice being an optimist. If you expect bad things in life and at work, you will find them. A negative attitude is the same as looking at the world through distorted, dirty glasses. You will notice only the shortcomings, not paying attention or not noticing everything else. It's amazing how you can see something that isn't there if you just start looking. And of course, if you start looking for positive things, you will find them too.
Don't live in the past.
This advice is the most important of all: forget and move on with your life. Most of the anger, frustration, unhappiness and despair in this world comes from people holding on to past hurts and problems. The more you replay them in your mind, the larger they will seem to you, and the worse you will feel. Don't fight misfortune. Forget and move on with your life. Do this, and thereby deprive him of the power to hurt you.
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How to learn to approach life more simply?
Is it possible to change your pessimistic attitude? First of all, you need to clearly distinguish banal primitive indifference from healthy. Banal indifference is free drift with the flow, selfishness and ineradicable laziness. Healthy indifference is the talent to change the direction of the flow at the right moment, breadth of soul and ease of rise.
The first steps to healthy not giving a fuck:
– this is the time that no one will return. Life itself depends on the fulfillment of life: positive results in positive results, negative results in progressively negative results. By filling life with positive emotions and relaxation with favorite activities, we give our consciousness the right creative attitude.
Rest (leisure)- Whining and complaints about life are taboo . Even among family.
“Pitiful little people”, “vile saleswoman”, “traffic cop”... We change the setting . You can see the good in every person. You just need to want it.- “I will never earn money for an apartment (car, microwave, ficus...).” A rolling stone gathers no moss. To get something, you need to make an effort.
And with a smile on his lips and the attitude “I can handle anything.” First - the goal, then a step-by-step plan, then - confident pursuit of the goal. Even if it takes several years to get there. Do you want to become a great photographer? So, stop drooling over the works of professionals, and grab a camera and go to the courses. Dreaming of the laurels of a writer? Find your genre and learn to burn people’s hearts with your verb.
“Nothing depends on me anyway,” “I still can’t do it”... The eyes are afraid, but the hands are doing! Expecting failure, a person attracts it. “Order” only positive things for yourself. The attitude is “I can do it”, “I can do it”, “I can handle it”. And remember the truth - “if you peer into an abyss for a long time, the abyss begins to peer into you.”
There are never too many of them. It’s just that one doesn’t have enough for bread, and the other doesn’t have enough for diamond caviar or a fifth yacht. Here you will have to decide. If you’re just happy with a debt-free life, then it’s time to stop complaining about the lack of money and start enjoying fishing, picnics and intimate meetings with friends over a glass of tea. If ambitions are torn from within, then you should forget about everything written above and change your lifestyle, focusing on the road leading to enrichment.
Money.
Who wants to become a don't care
Probably the fact is that precisely those people who don’t give a damn about real high-quality indifference, like the moon, want to become people who don’t give a damn; on the contrary, they are overly emotional people who react sharply to the emotional outbursts of others, to their own grievances and disappointments, to problems.
They do not know how to cope with stress, they worry with complete dedication, they mull over the difficult situation that has arisen in their minds for a long time, endlessly turning it over and coming up with options for a way out.
Those who want to become non-givers are those who are not satisfied with their life, with their emotional reaction to difficulties, which supposedly should strengthen them, but they “safely” cause depression and suicidal thoughts. Such people, if they don’t do anything about themselves, ruin the lives of those around them with their eternally sour face, poor health, pessimism and irritation with everyone and everything. Particularly advanced people come to fatalism and passive humility.
But... Humility, especially without inner work, is not the indifference that they so crave.
How to attract money. Don't care technique
First of all, you need to decide - how much do you actually need? Have you decided? Write down the amount in a notepad and read on. The presence of at least one of the listed points is your obstacle on the path to wealth:
- Self-pity;
- Habit of borrowing;
Habit of spending more than earnings;- Greed, stinginess;
- Measuring any life values exclusively in money;
- Ignoring the benefits of long, meticulous work in favor of immediate gains;
Exhausting yourself with hated work;- Constant comparison of your own and other people's achievements;
- Complaints about life in every grateful ear;
- Exaltation of one’s own person over “second-class” people and other circles.
None of the points fit? Then feel free to decide on your occupation for the next few years, compare the amount written in your notebook with the chosen occupation and go ahead. Does not work? Re-read the points again.
We attract health - the philosophy of a don’t care
The truth - laughter prolongs life is known even to children. Positive thoughts can work wonders. The scheme is simple.- the attitude “everything is bad, depression, stress, inaction, negative thinking” with “positive, constructive, decisive, result-oriented .
- The attitude – “noodles from packets, a joke with him, with caries, and eight hours of sleep is a luxury” – is changed to “healthy eating, good sleep, timely treatment.”
You can’t buy health – it’s not for nothing that they say so. And all great earnings are dust compared to health and its role in life. First we work to spend money on pleasure. Having earned money, we understand that these pleasures are already contraindicated for us due to health reasons. Only by really working on yourself can you achieve results.
Features of healthy indifference
A person who doesn't care is to a large extent a fatalist. For example, you have to fly on an airplane. You know they fall sometimes and that makes you afraid. You are afraid to fly, the road to the airport reminds you of the path to the scaffold, and the flight itself becomes a serious test for your psyche.
What about the indifference? Not only is he completely relaxed, but he also enjoys the flight. His logic is simple - why worry if nothing depends on you in this case anyway? It is better to enjoy the journey, throwing stupid thoughts out of your mind.
This is healthy indifference that preserves nerves and mental health. At the same time, it is worth noting a very interesting point: in practice, people who don’t give a damn rarely get into accidents and other unpleasant situations. There is a completely logical explanation for this: without worrying about trifles, such a person does not waste mental energy on difficult thoughts. Which, in turn, significantly increases his intuition.
That is why it is easier for someone who doesn’t give a damn to avoid a plane crash than for someone who is terrified of flying. He simply will not board a plane that is destined to crash - something will definitely happen that will prevent him from flying on this flight. This is how a high level of personal power, accumulated as a result of the absence of empty experiences, manifests itself.
