Parent meeting “How to instill respect in children for their parents” methodological development

Possible reasons

Too frequent prohibitions can lead to disrespect.
If a child does not respect his mother or father, then some factors influenced this. Often, the very behavior of parents provokes the child to disrespect. Let's look at what situations are most common in the formation of such an attitude.

1. Dry rules. When there is no love in the family, there is no emotional connection, but there are only rules that the child must follow. No wonder disrespect is born.
2. Lack of consistency. Very often, parents themselves break some rules, change them, or the opinions of the father and mother do not coincide on some issue. In such cases, the baby does not understand how to behave correctly. Parents cease to be an authority.
3. Too frequent bans. When a child is constantly told “no” to any of his requests, his opinion is not listened to. Parents must understand that they cannot just prohibit, they must encourage the child for his achievements. It is important that “no” is no more than “yes”.
4. Angry remarks. Parents should be involved in upbringing, but it is unacceptable to take it out on the child, yell at him, or fill your relationship with negative emotions. Therefore, parents must learn to control their anger.
5. Excessive demands. When too high demands are placed on a child, they expect from him what he is not capable of achieving.
6. Strictly biased attitude. Parents who do not forgive their child for mistakes do not give a chance for redemption.
7. Comparing your child with others. It is unacceptable to point out to your baby that he is “not like the neighbor’s toddler” or to force him to imitate someone.
8. Inability to admit that you are wrong. The older the baby gets, the more aware he will be of his parents' shortcomings. If mom or dad cannot accept their own mistakes, they will significantly reduce the baby's trust in themselves as a person. Parents need to admit to their child, especially their teenager, that they are not perfect, no one is.
9. Hypocrisy. A situation when parents prohibit doing something, but they themselves violate this prohibition. For example, when mom doesn’t allow you to talk on the phone while crossing the road, but she does it herself.
10. The child does not have the right to vote. A situation when a child’s opinion is simply ignored, he is not listened to, his desires and needs are not taken into account, and he is provoked to stop respecting his parents.

Why doesn't a child respect his parents?

Without a doubt, we can say that for every child, his mother and father are the best in the world. It doesn’t matter to him what you look like, what apartment you live in or how much you earn, his love for you has no boundaries and conditions. And the task of parents is to maintain and strengthen this attitude on the part of their child.

Unfortunately, most parents themselves make mistakes that can lead to a loss of self-respect. If you begin to notice that the child’s behavior has changed, and he began to move away from you and behave without the usual reverence, then think about whether you behaved correctly.

When it comes to factors that can lead to a child ceasing to respect his parents, it is worth paying attention to the following situations:

• Rules and excessive demands. If a family cannot boast of having a strong emotional connection between its members, and interaction is based solely on compliance with the rules, then you should not expect a warm attitude from the child towards himself. Often in such families, parents are characterized by excessive demands on their children.
• Lack of consistency. Quite often you can see how parents break their own rules, and without being embarrassed by the presence of their child. If a child sees that parents do not adhere to their own requirements for the established order in the family, then they cease to be an authority for him, which leads to the formation of disrespect.
• Prohibitions and parental anger. Some parents often go overboard with prohibitions, believing that in this way they will raise a strong personality in their child. But what exactly is the benefit when you say a firm “no” to all your children’s requests? You cannot constantly demand success and achievement from your child without encouraging him. Many mothers and fathers justify their behavior with the words “you yourself must understand, this is what you need, not me!” Such statements will not lead to gratitude on the part of the child for worries about his future; he will only be convinced once again that you personally do not care about his successes. Among other things, you should not forget about the emotional connotation of your statements. There are parents who do not consider it necessary to restrain their anger when they learn about their child’s next prank or bad grade at school. Well, shout louder, you can even stoop to insults, only then don’t be surprised by the contempt in the look of your son or daughter.
• Attitude bias. Not all parents are ready to forgive children's mistakes or give them a chance to correct them. Such an attitude also does not contribute to the development of warm feelings on the part of the child.
• Comparison with other children. Parents who begin to compare their child with other people's children and use them as an example, themselves push their child away. Statements of this kind are very offensive for children, they begin to feel their own worthlessness, lose self-confidence and each time they become more and more convinced that mom and dad don’t love them.
• Reluctance to admit your mistakes. The older your child is, the more clearly he sees your mistakes and shortcomings. If you do not know how to admit your mistakes and correct them, then do not expect respect and trust from your child.
• Disregard for children's opinions. If a child feels that his parents don’t care about his opinion, that his word means nothing and his wishes are not taken into account, then he simply stops respecting them.

Important

Remember that you can only gain the respect of a child if he feels respected by you.

Characteristic manifestations

The fact that a child does not respect his father or mother can be manifested by various behavioral features:

• refuses to do housework;
• deliberately stains everything;
• steals money;
• invites friends to the house and even throws parties when no adults are present;
• uses profanity when communicating with parents, insults them;
• takes cosmetics and clothes of parents without permission;
• extorts money;
• idle, does not want to do anything;
• does not care for a pet, if any;
• interferes in the personal life of his father and mother.

If you are familiar with such manifestations, then you need to understand that a certain share of the blame lies on your shoulders.

What to do

If you have ever heard the phrase “I don’t respect my mother,” then you probably have a desire to know how to behave in such a situation, how to change this child’s attitude.

1. Set a goal for yourself and follow it. No matter how difficult it may be when communicating with a child, you need to understand that you dream of him being happy. You need to believe that the baby is, in fact, a responsible and good person. Ignore failures and stress. Remember what you want your baby to be. Before saying anything to a child, you need to think carefully and weigh everything, because sometimes it is words that deeply wound the child’s psyche.
2. No matter what, you must have a positive attitude towards your child. Convince yourself that the baby is initially kind and good. When communicating with a child, a parent should not forget about his essence; he can directly talk about how he wants to see him in order to achieve interaction.
3. There must be an understanding that you and your baby have equal rights.
4. There is no need to be afraid of collisions, or worry that sooner or later the child will declare that he feels hatred or wants to run away from home. You must understand that fears materialize. In addition, children often resort to this method to manipulate, force their parents to do what they need, even blackmail. You don’t need to unquestioningly fulfill all the child’s demands, you need to be able to fight back.
5. Learn to trust your baby, entrust him with a responsible task. This will help get rid of unnecessary lies in relationships. However, if you deliberately ask your child unnecessary questions or concentrate your negative attention on him, deception cannot be avoided. For example, you should not ask “have you cleaned up your room?”, it is better to say “I would like to see how beautiful your room has become.”
6. Be on the same page with your son or daughter, treat their desires and hobbies normally, if necessary, remember yourself at their age and don’t say phrases like “I couldn’t afford that at your age.” Look for common topics of conversation, indicate your interest in the child’s problems, and provide support.
7. Respect the baby. Act in his interests, explain your actions, comment on your prohibitions. There is no need to think that he is too small and does not understand anything.

Being afraid means respecting

It is very difficult to get a teenager who does not respect his parents to think differently. After all, he doesn’t know what a respectful attitude is. Some people believe that you can teach respect through fear: they say, being afraid means respecting. Indeed, fear is easy to impose. And this is the shortest way to achieve obedience.

But to educate with fear means to cultivate obedience, not respect.

It is beneficial for people to take shortcuts. We will not take shortcuts, we will establish rules that will help to instill respect, not obedience through fear.

Rule #1. Don't be afraid to show your love

You need to show your love not with words, but with actions. Little children can't read your mind, they can only see your love.

• Firstly, through physical contact: we hug, pity, kiss, caress. This is the most tangible sign of your love for your baby.
• Secondly, don’t forget to tell your baby more often how much you love him.

Each of us, after punishment, has heard the phrase: “Why don’t you love me?” That is, children associate punishment with dislike. Therefore, if your son or daughter has done something wrong, and you need to punish them for it, be sure to focus their attention on the fact that it is not he who is bad, but his action.

Rule No. 2. No one has canceled the norms of etiquette

You cannot force respect for adults and forget about politeness. Of course, we must show by example how to communicate.

• Teach that strangers should only be addressed as “you.”
• Talk about not interrupting the conversation of adults.
• Don't forget about polite words. Moreover, you need to thank and treat politely both cashiers in the store and minibus drivers.
• Teach children to say hello to adults.
• The best treats are offered to parents, not children, as is often the case in modern families.
• We sit on public transport only when there are empty seats.

These and many other elementary rules are aimed at helping the child understand that the world does not revolve around him, but around adults who need to be respected.

Rule No. 3. Hierarchy

Why did children always respect their parents in the past? Because that’s how it was done in the family. The father is the head of the family. He is an authority. Now everything has been turned upside down. The whole world in many families revolves around the younger members of the family. It is very difficult to eradicate this. This has happened over the years.

Situation 1

Do you know many young families where children address their parents as “you”? I am only one. And, believe me, the teenage son in this family is wonderful. Relationships between family members are excellent.

Many will argue that you can address people as “you”, but at the same time not respect adults. Of course it is possible. But now we are talking about the fact that in the modern world the truth has been violated: “Honor your father and your mother.” The family hierarchy is broken. Under no circumstances should the interests of younger family members come first. The interests of adults must be a priority. Only in this situation is gratitude and respect born in the minds of younger family members.

How to teach respect

From childhood, teach your child to show concern for loved ones

1. Teach your child gratitude. This is an important guarantee of respect. The problem is that some children do not appreciate the efforts that parents make in raising them. They take parental care for granted. For example, two situations. The first is a teenage boy running away from home because no skates were bought for him. He believes that his parents do not love him and do nothing for him. This is despite the fact that he has absolutely everything that a teenager needs, and the videos were not purchased largely due to the risk to his health. And another case is a poor family in which a child is growing up. The kid sees how hard his parents have to work, everything so that he can eat normally, sees how they give him the last piece of bread. He is grateful to them for this. Growing up, such a person remembers all his life how his parents took care of him.
2. When your child does not notice at all what you do for him, this is also your fault. When we begin to fulfill every whim of our baby, we deny ourselves many things just to make him feel good, we are simply raising a spoiled person who will not appreciate anything and will believe that this is how it should be. It is unacceptable for parents to put their own interests below the needs of the child. If a mother does not have the opportunity to buy new boots for herself, and she wears ones with holes, then she should not think that she can spend another winter in them, just to buy her son a new console. Another situation is when parents shower their child with things and gifts in order to compensate for their absence when they spend a lot of time at work. You just need to understand that material objects cannot replace true love. Don’t be surprised if the child starts making trouble, lying, hysterical, or doing anything just to get attention. It is not the best situation when parents are absolutely indifferent to their child. The child grows up with a feeling of uselessness and uselessness.
3. We teach the child to care. You probably won’t be surprised by the situation when a teenager’s mother gets sick, and he is unable to give her a glass of water. Or a small child, being next to a sick parent, demands that he get up and play with him. The task of parents from early childhood is to accustom their baby to care. Let him help with the housework, help cook, spoon feed his mother. There is no need to be afraid that there will be a revolution in the kitchen or that you will be forced to spend too much of your time in order to monitor the process of preparing food with your child’s hands. Instilling care from the cradle will have a positive impact on the process of growing up and becoming a person. And there is no need to scold the baby if he spilled half the tea while bringing it to you, otherwise the desire to show care will very quickly disappear. Let the baby become responsible from childhood, and let you be calm about his mistakes, because he is still just learning.
4. We instill in the child a love of work. The mother should arrange the process in such a way that during cleaning the child helps her at least a little around the house, for example, wiping off the dust or helping to wash a few dishes. Show your child that before you can relax and sit down to watch a cartoon, you need to work hard. Explain to your child that in order to keep the house clean and comfortable, you need to make an effort and this should not be done only by the mother. You can also distribute areas of responsibility between the children, for example, assign someone to water the flowers, someone to wipe the dust, someone to wash the dishes after the cat.
5. Parental example. You need to understand that your child will not develop respect for you if you yourself are disrespectful to other people. Remember that children adopt our behavior model; they copy our actions. You can’t demand from a child not to spit from the window if dad does this, you can’t scold your daughter for walking around the house in dirty clothes if mom behaves the same way. After this, it will not be surprising if you hear the phrase “I don’t respect my father and mother” from my child. Remember that children copy not only the positive aspects of their parents, but also everything they see. Don't forget that they are your mirror image. Understand that a child may behave disrespectfully if he does not see a worthy example of behavior. Learn to maintain your authority and be worthy of respect. It is also important that there is mutual respect between parents, otherwise they will fall in the eyes of the child.

Now you know what to do if your daughter or son does not respect you. Remember that the characteristics of upbringing are of great importance in the development of such an attitude. We must not forget that parents themselves set an example for their child. Spend time with your child, teach him to take care of loved ones and help others.