Ivan Vdovin
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Anxiety is a mild form of fear before an action that is important to you, for example, taking an exam or passing your license at the traffic police, where there is a chance of not showing your best side to others. Often this “virtual” wall stands between you and achieving your goals. Many people always and everywhere ask how to stop worrying about trifles. So how can you get rid of anxiety and find peace and confidence in your soul?
The nature of excitement is to preserve life in the set to which you are accustomed. For example, a person has an income of 50,000-100,000 conventional money, and you want to double your income. You start looking for a new job, opening a business, and so on, naturally the body begins to resist (worry) what if it doesn’t work out, what if we lose everything we had and it tries to return you to normal.
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The same thing happens, for example, during public speaking; the body’s reaction in excitement is the fear that the audience will not accept it and there will be disappointment in itself. And if you dig back to the Stone Age, then it’s more interesting that a person is afraid not of public speaking, but of not being accepted into the pack, of being expelled from it.
This is understandable, but we live at 21, and fears remain, so how can we live in the modern world in order to be confident in ourselves, attract other people and have charisma and, as an additional bonus, earn more than others?
Switch
As a rule, during anxiety a person is very concentrated on what worries him. The world is literally converging on one point. We need to try to expand our horizons.
Close your eyes, open them and look out the window. If there is a wall in front of you, keep your eyes distracted and don’t concentrate on anything. Look as if through a wall. Then, after 1-2 minutes, on the contrary, focus on any insignificant object: a pencil, a button, a thumb. Examine the item in detail. Close your eyes and try to see it exactly.
To make the effect of the exercise stronger, close your eyes as you exhale, and as you inhale, look at the object again. Do the exercise for at least one minute.
So how can you stop worrying if you are worried?
To stop worrying you only need 10 minutes and for this you need to work a little on yourself, there are a lot of ways and I will describe a few of them.
Through breathing
Correct breathing knocks down the running process of excitement and releases internal clamps, so try breathing like this: INHALE 2-5 seconds, BREATH HOLD 2-5 seconds, EXHALE 2-5 seconds, BREATH HOLD 2-5 seconds. It turns out to be a cycle and it needs to be done for 10-15 minutes; with training, this time is reduced by 2 times.
Now think about what worried you, imagine in detail the action that you have to take. If the exercise is done correctly, ease and self-confidence should appear.
Another way is the same, but the breathing will consist of three cycles. INHALE 2-5 seconds, EXHALE 2-5 seconds, HOLD YOUR BREATH 2-5 seconds, and you can hold your breath both after inhalation and after exhalation, it doesn’t really matter.
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And one more way
Inhale for 2 seconds, then PAUSE for 8 seconds and EXHALE for 4 seconds and do this in a circle.
Breathing is really very important in our body, there are special exercises for working through deeper blocks, I will describe this in other articles. Exercise more often, at first do it while sitting or lying down, then you can do the exercise while moving.
Abstract yourself from the situation
Before going on stage or before doing something you're worried about, imagine the situation from a 3rd person perspective. Start the process from here and now and skip your film further, further, look at yourself from the outside, what you are doing, how others around you react to you, how you feel in that situation.
Read more: How to find a purpose in life?
You get a certain video, scroll through it again from beginning to end. Now scroll it again, but 3 times faster. Then scroll 3 times faster, but it is black and white, then scroll the video from the end to the beginning.
With this exercise, we train neural connections to act differently and the usual excitement goes to another plane, and we see that we don’t have to worry.
The most terrible way
Just first admit to yourself that you are worried, describe and tell yourself what you are afraid of, what terrible things might happen, what you are trying to escape from. Now describe in more detail what you can get if you do something that makes you feel excited. We usually get a lot more
Now let's get to the point. If you want to stop always worrying in some situation, for example, when speaking in public or when meeting someone on the street, then you just need to talk about your fear, admit what you are afraid of to others.
If you are waiting for condemnation, then in vain, believe me, most likely, the public will treat you warmly and, most importantly, with understanding, because they are just as worried, they have the same fears, and they will see strength in you, since they dared to admit their illness.
Exercise from a pick-up artist
There is such a positive exercise, one famous pick-up artist told me about it about 10 years ago, in order to overcome the fear of approaching a girl when meeting her. It consists in the fact that we smile with our stomachs.
So you sit or stand and feel your stomach and start smiling at it, it’s just that a huge smiley lives in your stomach. If you constantly concentrate on this, you will train yourself to have a positive attitude towards everything.
The main thing is not to forget, to do this and not to expect quick results, our psyche is not able to adapt in minutes, it needs time to adapt.
✅Guide to changing yourself .pdf
Is Putin behind you?
This is a very cool exercise, it carries enormous strength and resources within itself. I became familiar with this exercise 10 years ago, when a conflict arose on the street with football fans.
It’s easy to do, imagine that you have the support of influential people behind you, for example, the president, the minister of defense, and so on, and if something happens, they will “harness” for you. It boosts your self-confidence very well when you feel support behind you.
I recommend using people who are not scumbags, but simply influential people; it will be better for karma. If you are worried before a performance or exams, then imagine that people from your field of activity are standing behind you; if you are an artist, then there are great directors or actors behind you. If you are a seller, then the “Wolf of Wall Street” is behind you; the main thing here is to experiment and find a suitable option for yourself.
Read more: How to find a job you like?
There is a similar exercise that involves walking down the street and imagining how the people you meet along the way stand behind you and follow you. A big, powerful crowd, they support you.
Knowing that there is such powerful support, it will be difficult to worry, and there will be more than enough strength and internal energy. The main thing is to try and test, and then look at the results to see whether this exercise suits you or not.
Why is drinking alcohol not a good idea?
Alcohol dulls the sensitivity of neurons and, accordingly, our emotions weaken. But rather than dulling emotions, it would be better to experience them, and then it will be easier to say goodbye to them and reprogram yourself to confidence and strength.
Alcohol is only good if you are already comfortable, i.e. alcohol enhances the current internal state. Of course, you shouldn’t get drunk, otherwise you might regret it in the morning. And fumes from the mouth will also interfere with communication with other people, if your anxiety is related to this.
Fizkult-hello
When a person is worried, tension occurs in the body. Once you release muscle tension, your mind will calm down.
If possible, do some exercises. Actively stretch, make rotational movements with your neck, jump and squat.
In the event that you are limited in movement, tense and relax your gluteal muscles, actively clench and unclench your fingers and toes.
Immediately before an exciting event, be sure to go to the toilet and hold your hands alternately in cold and warm (almost hot) water.
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Breath! Do not breath
During anxiety, people breathe quickly and shallowly. When we are in a calm environment and feel confident, breathing becomes deep and slow. So make your breathing measured - deceive the body, let it think that there is no reason for alarm.
Imagine that you have a small ping pong ball in your groin area. You inhale and the ball rises to the solar plexus area. You exhale and the ball drops back to the groin area. The ball should move smoothly, without jerking; for this you need to breathe deeply and calmly.
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Here and now
During excitement, a real mental dump forms in the head. A person manages to simultaneously think about the past, present and future. He remembers mistakes, worries, and is horrified by the prospects. It is very important to stop and fixate yourself in the current moment.
Out loud or silently, start saying what you see. It's important not to repeat yourself. For example, you say: “I am standing in front of the window. I’m wearing a gray suit and red shoes...” Talk about simple surrounding things. The main thing is to capture the feeling of the current moment. Return yourself from worries about the future to the real present, understandable, conscious and non-frightening.
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Indirect signs of excitement
Some people have adapted to mask or control their own emotions.
Inattention. The person misspoke and cannot immediately remember the previous phrase. Because of this, the essence of the story is lost. It is impossible to finish the topic because its beginning has been forgotten.
A person is able to suppress some excitement. He holds himself straight, stands in one place, but at the same time his running fingers give him away. They touch each other and lying objects. Some begin to “crunch” them, others sort through their hair, and others scratch parts of their body.
Uncontrolled banging of fingers on the table also gives away. This harmless gesture can convey excitement.
Handling a cup of coffee or a glass of water will also tell you a lot. In excitement, a person will drink greedily or in small sips, but often. In a relaxed position, drink the cup slowly.
Just like shifty eyes, an unblinking gaze is a sure sign of excitement. Trying to hide it, a person tenses, which is why his gaze becomes detached.
If you know that a person rarely smokes, frequent smoking tells about the experience. While smoking, your nerves calm down, and your hands are busy with work.
The lighter does not work immediately and the person splashes out his emotions.
Feigned indifference or harsh ones speak of excitement. A person can laugh uncontrollably and this is explained by physiological processes. Muscles involuntarily contract, forcing a person to express emotions unusual for that moment.
With all his might, trying to hide signs of excitement, a person puts on a mask of indifference and irony. Sharp comments and sarcastic remarks are fully consistent with the state of excitement.
In moments of danger, people activate defensive reactions. A person becomes aggressive, which means he worries about his own life or the fate of loved ones.
Increased sweating. At the moment of excitement, all systems begin to work faster. Therefore, you can tell about anxiety both by rapid breathing and by beads of sweat on your forehead, hands or upper lip.
Pose of Confidence
Even if you feel out of place, at least visually try to look confident. Take a relaxed position.
If you have a few minutes to spare, sit down. Spread your legs a little, lower your arms down, and stretch the top of your head up to the sky, and be sure to smile. The body itself will try to bring you out of the anxious state.
When you don't have time to relax, take a hero's pose. The shoulders are straightened, the chin is slightly raised, the gaze is slightly down, the lips are stretched in a half-smile. Now it is not the brain, but the body that sends a signal that the situation has returned to normal, you have become the master of the situation.
All in all…
It turns out that anxiety is simply a defensive reaction associated with the importance of the choice, otherwise, if it were not important, anxiety would not manifest itself like that. But there are people who worry about any reason, here we need to train self-confidence and increase self-esteem, we’ll talk about this in other articles.
An interesting observation is that emotions live in the body; if the pressure is not felt in the body, then the emotion does not manifest itself. You need to remove such clamps; there are special techniques for working with yourself and improving your internal state.
The more a person gets rid of clamps, the more successful, richer, more self-confident he becomes, and shows all his positive qualities. It allows you to be yourself and find peace of mind with the meaning of life, and you don’t even have to go to church.
An example would be me, who had a complex until the age of 28, was afraid of a lot of things, fear of being judged and naturally worried about all sorts of trifles, but I am grateful to the path I have gone through and where I am now. I hope I answered the question of how to stop worrying about trifles.
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