Give it your all!
There is a huge temptation to finally tell your boss everything you think about him. Or do something nasty: hide the necessary data, take away the phone numbers of important clients, paralyzing the work of the once dear company for some time.
Do not do that! Firstly, the professional circle is very narrow, and when your new boss calls your ex, he is unlikely to find at least a couple of kind words addressed to you. Secondly, if you want your boss to truly regret your dismissal, you need to act in exactly the opposite way. Gather your will and on the last day say a warm goodbye to him, saying the kindest words. Maybe he won’t call you back (which, by the way, is possible), but he will certainly give you an excellent reference. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship you had before this minute. As you know, the first and last words are remembered most.
Dismissal of a pensioner
How can a pensioner survive dismissal? After all, people of this age are more vulnerable in such a situation. Often retirees devote a lot of effort to the enterprise and are attached to it with all their hearts. For them, work has long become an integral and very important part of life. Therefore, it is much more difficult for them to cope with depression.
Were you fired from your job after retirement? What to do? Typically, retirees still have many friends from their service. Don't forget about them and shut yourself off. Support from loved ones can help. Remember that retirement is an excellent opportunity to live for your own pleasure. You have a lot of time that you can spend on yourself and your hobbies - take walks more often, find yourself a hobby.
Risk group
Losing a job often undermines a person's self-esteem. He develops a feeling of resentment and a feeling of loss of control over life: “Why was I fired?”, “Am I really the worst employee?”, “I don’t decide anything in this life.” If such thoughts come to you, you need to tell yourself: “Stop! Life is not only work. In such a difficult situation, it is much more constructive to ask another question - why did fate give you such a test, what lessons can be learned from this?
Practice shows that most often people who have two opposing psychological attitudes lose their jobs. First of all, these are those who, unnoticed by themselves, began to live by inertia, for whom work has not brought either moral or material satisfaction for a long time. But the poor guy doesn’t have the courage to put the application on the table himself. And every morning he goes to work, as if to hard labor. So fate throws him an unexpected solution to the problem - in the form of staff reductions or rotations leading to dismissal.
Oddly enough, people with a different attitude are also at risk of losing their jobs - workaholics who identify their life with work, putting it in first place in the scale of life values. Fate often punishes for such one-sidedness. In addition, an overly zealous employee often irritates his superiors: what if he turns out to be more professional than his management?
How to cope with depression after losing your job
Seek help from a professional
Situational depression may look like classic depression, and a person prone to its clinical variant runs the risk of experiencing a depressive episode. Symptoms of clinical depression include insomnia, loss of appetite, difficulty finding pleasure, lack of energy, and suicidal thoughts. If they exist, you should immediately seek help from a specialist.
Psychotherapists are typically expensive, but affordable options can be found at local hospitals, crisis centers, or educational institutions that provide psychological support to students under the supervision of teachers. In addition, you can ask if there are psychotherapists with a special price list for laid-off employees. Another option is to find a hotline number for people in dire straits.
Keep in touch with friends
People who have lost their jobs sometimes want to stop all communication, because being fired seems like a shameful fact to them. Nelsen says you shouldn't do this - it's at times like these that it's very important not to lose contact with other people.
“We are social creatures, we need connection to develop and survive,” she emphasized. Find a group of like-minded people, do something non-work related, take a class, or just call an old friend.
Change your perspective on events
According to Nelsen, identifying with work is not always a bad thing. But identifying yourself only with work is definitely bad. Remember who you are outside of the office and change your perspective on events.
Sometimes people think of themselves like this: “I am a failure. Nobody wants to hire me." Instead, it is better to get used to the thought: “I have an education. I have significant work experience. I have valuable skills."
Vicious circle
Having lost his job, a person has a huge amount of free time at his disposal. Perhaps at first it’s even pleasing: you’ll finally be able to relax! But, as a rule, it is impossible to truly relax. And the unemployed person begins to experience the emptiness that has suddenly formed in his life. According to the observations of psychologists, such a situation is a breeding ground for the emergence of neurosis.
A kind of vicious circle arises: due to the fact that there is no job, you feel depressed, and this, in turn, makes it impossible to find a job. If this condition lasts long enough, it can lead not only to depression, but also to severe physical illness. Psychiatrists often observe this effect of “psychophysical wear and tear” not only among those who have lost their jobs, but also among those who have retired: an intensively working person suddenly begins to rapidly age, and all sorts of sores begin to stick to him.
To avoid this, experts advise that you should start looking for a new job on the same day you were informed of your dismissal. The more time passes after losing a job, the more difficult it will be to find one. Treat dismissal as a test of strength, as an exam, passing which you will come to success.
I can’t find a job: depression, what to do
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Losing your job in the modern world can actually be like death. Finding a new one, and even with the same conditions, a decent salary, a comfortable office and a friendly, understanding boss, is not at all easy. Then an unpleasant aftertaste arises, expressed in one single thought: “I can’t find a job, I’m depressed!” But you should understand that there are no hopeless situations, and in order to move to a new level, you sometimes have to go down one floor, which can be confirmed by fans of computer games.
Important
For someone who has lost their job, depression is a completely normal protective reaction of the body to an extreme situation. First, there comes a shock at how unfair and wrong they have acted, when a person still does not quite understand that getting up at seven is no longer necessary. Then comes the final realization, stress and ultimately depression. Only after time, with the right approach and a healthy attitude, will there be a logical way out of the situation - reconciliation with what happened and with oneself, which will allow you to move to a new level, get involved in life again, and find another place to apply your own abilities and capabilities.
Therefore, in order to get out of this psychological swamp, which is pulling you deeper and deeper with the sticky tentacles of hopelessness and fear, you need to figure out what depression is and how exactly it “works.” Firstly, this capricious “lady” cannot tolerate inattention and ignorance, and from active actions she generally begins to turn pale and recede into the background until she gets lost somewhere out there, against the backdrop of falling autumn leaves and the lingering November rain on a Saturday evening.
If you want to whine, “I can’t find a job,” “I’m overcome by depression,” “everything is bad,” and sit with a bunch of handkerchiefs, then this is a direct path to nowhere. Let's figure out how to properly cope with the blues, how to get out of depression, what specific steps should be taken, and what should not be done under any circumstances.
Horsemen of the Apocalypse: emissaries of depression due to lack of work
Depression, as a direct consequence of severe shock and stressful situations, never comes alone. Hand in hand with her go her faithful companions - laziness, fear and pride, which are definitely not going to let you out of their tenacious clutches.
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- At the first moment you feel fear, for example, of the future, lack of financial means for subsistence, horror of the impossibility of finding a new job. Fear may relate to instability and problems in the family, especially when loved ones are not able to correctly respond to what happened and support the person in difficult times.
- Laziness is a great engine of progress, it is thanks to it that various mechanisms and devices, gadgets and devices appeared, but in our case it is a destructive force, not a creative one. When there is no longer a need to jump up at half past seven, you want to lie down until eleven, because there is still no new work, and if there is one, it will somehow wait. I want to sit on the sofa all day in front of the TV and click the remote control, and not run around the city “in a daze”, looking for a new place.
- The third “rider” – pride and two “friends” literally fade against its background, it can be so huge and overshadow everything around with its radiant radiance. It does not allow you to think and behave flexibly, does not allow you to make concessions, even in a dispute with yourself, thereby depriving you of new opportunities and real chances that would lead you out of the crisis much easier and faster.
Thus, finding ourselves in an extreme situation for us, when there is no work, depression turns out to be a powerful restraining force that does not allow us to take further steps. Fear seems to tell you that nothing will work out and that there is nothing else in sight other than the vacancy of a loader, although they won’t take you there, given your physical training. Laziness suggests lying on the couch and watching a TV series, and pride tells you that you didn’t spend five years at the university to accept the position of junior manager. The circle closes, and depression celebrates victory.
What you definitely can’t do: I can’t work because of depression
When the mechanisms and principles of the action of depression have become more clear, you should begin to figure out how to deal with it and, first of all, you need to understand exactly what to do, which is highly recommended. Some of your steps may be crowned with success, but others will lead to a dead end. To avoid falling into it, you should be reasonable and think sensibly.
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- It’s bad not to make plans and let everything take its course, since passivity never leads to anything good. Don’t be passive, decide, try, run through interviews, even five times a day, plan and dream.
- You can't give up and stop. A person by nature must develop, otherwise the brain begins to degrade, this is a well-known fact. Never stop studying, learning new things, improving your skills, reading.
- When you are fired from a job, resentment kicks in, because it will be difficult for the boss to find such an employee, after all, you were a reaper, a Swiss, and a player of the pipe. This is wrong, you should never think that you are irreplaceable, this is a slippery slope, illuminated by pride, it will not lead to good.
- A person definitely needs the support of loved ones and relatives, but surrounding oneself with sycophants and flatterers is unacceptable. These people are able to convince you even of something that is not in reality, because you yourself subconsciously think this way. Get rid of the sycophants, and “order” your loved ones to always objectively assess the situation and tell you the truth.
- Never recognizing the achievements of other people is also wrong, and if you see how someone has achieved success where you failed, you really want to prick them harder! But you can’t do this, since your subconscious will definitely mark all this with a big fat “tick”.
Under no circumstances should you belittle your merits and achievements for the sake of someone or something. If you want to get the coveted good position, you must be worthy of it and it is most difficult to believe in it yourself. Tell about your work achievements and successes, plans for the future and ideas, first of all to yourself and do not forget to advertise yourself, this is very important.
The more actions, the greater the impact
And so that during the time “from work to work” you do not destroy yourself, and at the same time your relationships with friends and loved ones, try to develop a clear strategy:
● Maintain the same rhythm and routine of life. Get up, have breakfast, lunch and dinner at the same time as before. If you are a man, be sure to shave every morning. If you are a woman, comb your hair and wear light makeup.
● Do something every day to look for a job: surf the Internet, send out resumes, study job magazines, go on interviews. A pattern has been noticed: if today you called not five, but ten companies, then tomorrow you will receive twice as many calls as in previous days.
● Use your free time to take care of your health. Don't watch TV late, get enough sleep, don't drink coffee or strong tea, and be sure to go outside every day. Visit a dentist, other doctors, undergo treatment if necessary. Do all the boring but necessary household chores that you never got around to doing before.
New job search process
Make an action plan and move forward with confidence
It’s not enough just to cope with depression due to being fired, you need to find the courage to start looking for a new job. It is difficult for an unemployed person to decide to have an interview or send out a resume. Causes of increased anxiety:
- doubts in one's own abilities;
- fear of failure;
- fear of the unknown.
Before looking for a new job, a person should understand himself and understand in which direction to move next. If your previous position was promising, but did not bring any pleasure, it is worth considering the option of changing your field of activity. Such changes will encounter even more resistance: defensive reactions of the psyche can increase fear.
There is no need to be afraid to take on a new business; to improve self-esteem, take advanced training courses. Training will reveal the true potential of an individual and make her look at herself differently.
The right plan
Control and its lack is at the core of depression. In order to muffle anxiety, before looking for a new job, a plan of further actions is drawn up. Such a plan only helps to move on, but is not a reason for a new fixation. If what happens deviates from the plan, there is no need to become hysterical or panic. You should learn to accept life in which surprises happen.
The plan needs to think through the main stages to achieve the goal - a new position. An unemployed person chooses a specific place of work, position or area in which he wants to realize himself. The further plan is built around the goal: the stages of an interview, advanced training courses or additional training programs are included. Detailed steps allow you to avoid focusing on a global goal that causes panic.
The higher the step towards the goal, the easier it is to plan daily activities and deadlines before receiving a new position. The plan can change, be adjusted and take into account unforeseen circumstances. By accustoming himself to act gradually, the unemployed loses anxiety and internal tension.
Preparing for an interview
By writing a resume, an unemployed person declares the qualities and skills that he offers to the company. The first interview after dismissal will show how self-confident and presentable the person is in the chosen field. The best solution would be a standard resume, without unnecessary lyrical introductions. For employers, what is important is the employee’s qualifications, not his oratory skills.
Before the interview, you need to be in the right mood: take care of the appearance and presentation of your skills. Do not neglect a neat appearance. An employee is greeted by his clothes and seen off by his abilities. At a meeting with a recruiter (a company representative who conducts an interview), you should be collected and calm, answer questions clearly and briefly.
The results of the interview should not affect the person’s well-being and self-perception. In case of refusal, the general plan changes, but not the goal. You just need to lower your demands and demands on yourself.
Don't isolate yourself
Unfortunately, often during a period of forced inactivity, a person’s relationships with loved ones deteriorate. At first they sympathize with him, but as he withdraws and becomes depressed, this begins to irritate those around him. ● Try not to be excluded from family life: take on some responsibilities that were previously performed by others, share your thoughts, discuss household problems.
● If friends invite you to visit, do not refuse, citing a bad mood. Maybe that's where you'll meet someone who can help you find a job. Despite progress in the field of employment (Internet, recruiting agencies), they prefer to hire us, as before, “by acquaintance.”
● Don't neglect a temporary job offer while continuing to look for a permanent one. If you prove yourself well, it can become permanent.
Take a cue from The Martian
A good example of the correct approach and productive behavior in a difficult situation is the hero of the novel “The Martian” by the American writer Andy Weir. Most people know this plot from the film of the same name by Ridley Scott.
Being in the maximum self-isolation possible (on Mars!), the character concentrates on practical matters. And if something doesn’t work out, he simply tries to fix everything or calmly starts again.
He is focused on creating the most effective plan available—and consistently implementing it. From a psychological perspective, this is a great strategy because having a plan can actually reduce anxiety.
In case of dismissal, you can start with an “inventory”. How many weeks or months will the available money last? Who can I ask for help or borrow from? What skills and projects will help you stand out from other applicants?
Then you can move on to drawing up a plan for finding a job: in what formats, on what platforms, does it make sense to search through friends?
Even if the plan fails to be implemented, the very fact of drawing it up calms and switches the brain from the mode of an emotional storm to the mode of reflection and analysis.
Interesting
● No one is immune from dramatic turns of fate. Even geniuses. The example of one of the players of the Real Madrid football club is widely known. A freak car accident confined him to a wheelchair for a whole year. In the end, he managed to get back on his feet, but had to say goodbye to his brilliant football career. “What to do? After all, I don’t know how to do anything besides football!” – the former football player was tormented. Friends advised him to try himself in... the singing genre. And they were right. This is how the brilliant Julio Iglesias appeared to the world.
● The story of another famous person is no less significant. Before becoming famous in the literary field, he was... an accountant. Everything changed when the unknown Mr. Porter was accused of embezzlement and went to prison. Out of melancholy and hopelessness, he began to write stories. He emerged from prison as a popular short story writer known under the pseudonym O'Henry.
How to restore self-confidence
A toxic boss has likely drained your sense of self-worth and self-confidence. If you don't restore these feelings, it may affect your next job.
Think about your career achievements. How confident were you when you were working on them? Chances are you knew you were doing something special. You need to get that feeling back. Here are two ways to do this.
Explore your strengths
Choose one of your strengths and do the following:
- Think about a specific time in your personal life when you used this strength and got a positive result.
- Think about a time at work where you used your strengths and achieved positive results.
- Think about your new job. How can you use your strengths there? Why would a new company value this quality of yours?
Then choose your next strength. Write down all your thoughts on this matter and re-read the resulting text. Each time your confidence in your abilities will increase.
Train your strengths
Look for opportunities where you can express yourself and help others. Reread your list of strengths and think about things you enjoy doing that might be helpful to other people.
You should give others a chance to tell you that you did something well or simply thank you. Situations like these will help restore your self-confidence.
Here are some examples.
Let's say you're a good cook. Invite your friends over and cook dinner for them. It’s better if you invite friends who don’t know how to cook - such people will especially praise and thank you. If you are good at writing, offer to help a friend or family member write an essay. Offer to help proofread your corporate magazine. Contact the editors and suggest an article
After publication, show it to your friends, post it on social networks and enjoy the attention.
You will say that all these methods only inflate the ego. But there's nothing wrong with that. After everything you've been through, you can do anything (as long as it's legal) to regain your confidence.
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Bad advice
7 Sure Ways to Lose Your Job
1. Have no plans.
2. Fail to maintain and update your skills and abilities.
3. Do not provide any results.
4. Believing that you are indispensable.
5. Surround yourself with sycophants.
6. Forgetting to give credit to others.
7. Do not “advertise” your work achievements.
Making good use of your free time
The free time before starting a new work activity can be spent pleasantly and even benefited from it.
Physical activity
There's no point in lying on the couch and being sad. Be sure to do exercises, go for walks, you can join the gym or start running in the morning. This will improve your health and fill you with energy.
Healthy eating
Office workers often eat irregularly and not very healthy. At home, you can adjust your diet and learn how to cook new healthy dishes.
Trips
If you have such an opportunity, give yourself a good rest. This could be hiking or just visiting other countries. Unity with nature, new impressions, bright positive emotions - all this will benefit you.
Putting order in your home and life
Perhaps lately you have accumulated a lot of unfinished tasks that you didn’t have enough time for due to work. Fix what's broken, get rid of unnecessary things, complete the renovation.
Education, hobby
If time permits, take a refresher course or learn something new. This could be acquiring skills useful for future work (for example, computer courses, learning languages) or some kind of activity for the soul.
Looking for a new job
It's not worth taking a vacation longer than a month. The fact is that any skills are lost over time. In addition, employers are reluctant to hire those who have been inactive for a long time. And the very desire to work may disappear. A person gets used to sitting at home and relaxing, and his enthusiasm for work decreases.
Having calmed down and gathered your strength, you should start looking for a new job. Think about whether you want to stay in the same field or do something new. If you choose the second option, you should soberly assess your capabilities, knowledge, and level of training. Think about what your desired position requires and decide what gaps need to be filled.
Part time job
When looking for a new job, don't ignore any opportunity. If the financial issue is acute, you can take on a temporary part-time job for a couple of hours a day. This will help you stay afloat and will not interfere with serious interviews.
By the way
Stress caused by dismissal is more pronounced in men. Women are more resilient to the blows of fate and react flexibly to stressful situations. People of retirement age, as well as those who cross the “dangerous” age limits, experience the loss of work very painfully: the so-called age of first adulthood (33-35/35-37 years) and mature age – 46-48/52-54.
The level of stress experienced also depends on the psychological type to which a person belongs. Temperamental, sociable people, although they take the news of dismissal hard, overcome the stressful situation relatively quickly. As a rule, two weeks are enough for them to be free from stress. Another thing is that people are phlegmatic and withdrawn. Their stress develops progressively and lasts for a long period.
Don't be afraid to ask for help
Motivational speaker Jim Rohn said that on average we have five people around us with whom we spend most of our time. Seek support and connect with five people who have a positive outlook, are highly motivated, and are currently feeling good about themselves. The Law of Averages predicts that you'll feel the same way, giving you the much-needed confidence to consider job prospects.
Seek support and connect with five people who have a positive outlook
By asking for help in this way, you can receive information from another person that takes you beyond your own knowledge, allowing you to see things from a different perspective. These people can model a new way of being that allows you to see opportunities to do things differently, consider new options, and strive to do things better.
