How he infuriates me!
He did everything wrong again. As if to spite me on purpose. I would kill you!
And I hit him. I hit him with all my might, backhanded, with an iron hanger from the closet. What do I want to tell him? That I hate him? Oh yeah! At this moment I really hate him. And my desire is to teach me a lesson, to punish me, for everything that he caused me. For all the troubles, difficulties and misfortunes that arose with his birth.
I am evil. I take out a huge, all-hating evil on him. I hit him.
And then I give up. I regain my sight and see my little defenseless boy who accepted everything and put up with the blows. He no longer cries, but lies silently, completely agreeing with the execution for nothing. I cry over him, trying to hug him. But he pushes me away.
He does not want to be hugged by the executioner, who at that moment killed all his feelings. Every single one of them. And somewhere deep inside I feel how the invisible future tells me: “You will still cry for this, you will cry and you will pay. But it will be too late."
This was the last time I hit my son, but not the first. And once upon a time I swore to myself, crying into my pillow with resentment, that I would never raise my children the way my mother did. Unfortunately, violence against children in the family, moral or physical, is sometimes “inherited.”
Online impersonation
Impersonation is a situation where a person uses the name or identity of another person without their permission with the intent to harm, deceive, intimidate or threaten. Impersonation is very common on the Internet in the form of fake accounts on social networks, when the owner of such an account claims to be the person he claims to be.
Online impersonation has also become common in the form of phishing. Phishing schemes involve hackers impersonating another person or business by sending an email purporting to be from them in order to obtain sensitive information (such as passwords). The number of phishing incidents increased by 65% in 2020, and the average global cost for businesses affected by phishing was $1.6 million.
Does online impersonation break laws?
Online impersonation may be considered a violation of human rights. In the criminal law of many countries around the world, a violator can be held criminally liable if his actions seriously damaged the reputation of the victim and caused material and moral damage.
How to Prevent and Report Online Impersonation
- Use adequate privacy protection on your devices.
- Report the impostor's account to the moderator of the social network (forum), its editor or site administrator.
- To prevent phishing scams, use a secure network, delete any suspicious emails, and only send sensitive information in encrypted emails or password-protected archives.
- If the actions of the offender have harmed your reputation, then contact a lawyer who will help you protect your rights in court.
Consequences inevitably come
My son is 20. I have long since stopped needing anything that was important 20 years ago. I want only one thing - my son’s love, connection with him. To be a witness to his life, a participant and a loved one. But in front of me are cold eyes and someone else's gaze.
He does not feel what a child feels towards his mother. He might be happy, but he can’t. He no longer has that “organ” with which he feels. In his short life he saw everything. Scandals, hysterics, father's bullying of mother, divorce, mother's attempts to improve her personal life.
He got hit for everything, and I didn’t even notice when he stopped responding to my hysterical screams. Remembering our past life, I don’t see a single bright day, a good memory that my son could cling to and want to communicate with me and live happily.
What to do now? I don't know. Help…
Support.
Even brave children do not always dare to openly stand up for the victim and put an end to bullying. But if the opportunity is missed, all is not lost. If for one reason or another you did not intervene in a timely manner, show kindness and empathy later.
The child can talk to the bullied peer the next day. Invite him to chat in the cafeteria or sit next to him in the gym, send him a friendly text message or write encouraging words on social networks.
Is there protection from violence?
Who beats women and children? Why? System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan reveals that physical violence in the family is used by men and women with a special mental structure. Those who are born to be ideal parents, husbands, wives. These are people in whose psyche there is an anal vector.
Potentially, these are the best people in society, guarantors of family values. Oddly enough, it is precisely such metamorphoses that happen to the best people in society if they were raised incorrectly in childhood, and in adulthood they did not have the opportunity to realize themselves.
It is possible to get out of such states. By studying the hidden unconscious processes that control us, by opening them, we get the opportunity to change our destiny for the better. You can’t wave a magic wand and change everything at once. But it is possible to stop the chain of consequences of such cruel treatment. And we need to be in time.
The meaning of the word "mockery"
- MOCKERY, -and, kind. pl. - shek, dat. - shkam, w. An offensive joke about someone or something. Be ridiculed. Shower with ridicule. □ My ridicule of the originals passing by was angry to the point of fury. Lermontov, Princess Mary. After an unsuccessful escape to the front, he went to school as if it were torture. It seemed that the guys would greet them with ridicule: oh, you bungler, they say! A. Ivanov, Eternal call.
Source (printed version): Dictionary of the Russian language: In 4 volumes / RAS, Institute of Linguistics. research; Ed. A. P. Evgenieva. — 4th ed., erased. - M.: Rus. language; Polygraph resources, 1999; (electronic version): Fundamental electronic library
Are there levers in society that protect against violence?
Education with a stick, the use of physical force against the most defenseless creature has long been unspokenly accepted in many families. A husband beats his wife, a mother beats her children, the cycle of physical violence in the family cannot be stopped without new, radical measures.
Current laws only slightly condemn violence against children and women, but do not solve this problem. Mother and child protection centers, guardianship and trusteeship authorities, rehabilitation and psychological centers will not accommodate and heal all these wounded and crippled souls. Today, children and women know where to turn when they find themselves in such a situation, but they don’t go. Social service specialists, psychologists and lawyers who work in such centers will provide support and advise on how to protect yourself in the event of a physical threat to life and health. But what will this change?
Systemic vector psychology teaches how to recognize a tyrant capable of physical violence in the family.
But why do women do this? How does it happen that an ideal mother begins to beat her child with some kind of monstrous gusto? Women and men with the anal vector are the same in their negative manifestations. And as in the case of a tyrant husband, so in this case, the causes of violence against children are a consequence of grievances and the unrealization of the properties of the anal vector.
A terrible tension inside pushes us to beat and discipline us with a fist or a stick. Yes to everything that comes to hand. And from this action you get “perverted” pleasure - because the tension subsides for a while. Resentment and lack of fulfillment, loss of security and safety, sexual dissatisfaction push a woman, ideally the best mother, to commit physical violence against her own child.
Is bullying at work normal?
Perhaps the tactics of bullying and its motives are already different, but the fact remains a fact. Adults bully their colleagues and employees on a regular basis. And there are even specific numbers: a large-scale survey was conducted under the leadership of Dr. Judy Blundo from the University of Phoenix. It was found that 75% of respondents had been victims of bullying from a colleague or supervisor during their lifetime.
Therefore, at the beginning of the article, I want to tell you: intimidation, bullying in the workplace is a common problem not only in the United States, but also in Russia. You are not alone if you have been a victim of bullying at work. I ask you not to ignore this problem if it affects you, your colleague or subordinate. Let's take a look at psychologists' advice on countering bullying.
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What trace does physical abuse of children leave?
My son has anal, visual and sound vectors. He was a kind and easy-going boy who loved hugs. I remember his big open eyes with fluffy long eyelashes, a clean and trusting look.
This look is now my judge. My evil writhes from the mere memory of those children's pure eyes. Now in this place there is callousness and indifference. His anal vector expresses itself in toilet language and disrespect for women, rancor and resentment. The excellent memory inherent in people with the anal vector now only works to accumulate and remember grievances.
His sound vector, shielded from my screams and insults, has long since drowned on the Internet. That's all. There is nothing more. He closed in on himself.
Once upon a time, he could excitedly talk about the structure of the universe, black holes, time, space and other wonders of the universe. This was his passion. And I was tormented by depression, lack of meaning in life, which even maternal instinct could not overcome, loneliness and fear of tomorrow. I refused to accept that reality, and my son grew up in it alone.
Requests for help Write your story I don’t know who to share with, I can’t cope with my life on my own anymore. I can no longer stand the constant bullying and humiliation of my husband! About two weeks ago he beat me again, I didn’t complain because he was in the military and there would be problems at work and then he would actually kill me. I fear him and hate him with all my soul. And last week he came up with new ways of bullying, knowing that I spent my entire salary on groceries, paying for the apartment and my daughter’s kindergarten, he said that he decided not to give me money from his salary, because... didn't deserve it. I have 200 rubles, which I have to stretch out until my next salary. At the same time, he constantly tells me to get out of his apartment, although the apartment was bought together on credit and registered in the name of both parents. I can’t live like this anymore, I’m tired of hearing that no one needs me, that I’m stupid, and that I don’t do anything around the house. I have nowhere to go. I cannot carry this anger and aggression within me. I go to sleep with hatred and wake up with the same feeling. When he once again begins to insult me, I lose control of myself, but I cannot harm him. My aggression is directed at myself. I don't want to live anymore. At all. Neither this way nor any other way. I want to die and disappear. I’m no longer here anyway, I have no friends, except for one friend from college, with whom I can’t communicate, so all contacts with her are in code. My husband constantly looks at my phone, my email, and what sites he surfed on the Internet. I'm afraid to do something or say something so as not to provoke it. It is unbearable. This is not life Support the site:
Belka, age: 27/04/23/2014
Responses:
Hello. Tell me honestly, why are you with him? because of your daughter or because of money? But by agreeing to this, you lose so much. This person is wasting your nerves, your life. Is this worth any money? And if because of the child, then it will all affect her. He will break her psyche from childhood and she will then look for a husband in the likeness of her father. Run away from him. It is better to live alone and with not very much money, but calm, healthy, free...
Lilu, age: 27 / 04/23/2014
Hello. You, like everyone else, have a choice - to endure further, or to write a statement to the police about the beatings, there is no need to feel sorry for him, a man should protect his chosen one, and not mock her, he clearly has some kind of psychological problems. The fact that he is a military man does not remove his male obligations, but rather adds, I repeat, there is no need to feel sorry. Also, if there are relatives or friends who could stand up for you, this could “sober him”; if not, then do you need such a “family” at all? Sincerely.
Alexander, age: 24 / 04/23/2014
To be honest, I don't find a reasonable answer to this question. But, in general, although my salary is not bad by the standards of our city, I can’t afford to rent an apartment, so I have nowhere to go. I have no friends, my relatives are far away. If I file for divorce or file a police report, I will most likely end up in the hospital that same evening. He might, I've been through this before. Going outside with a child? I understand that many will say that if it were completely unbearable, they would find somewhere to go, that the lack of living space is an excuse. But this is a fact. I have nowhere to go.
Belka, age: 27/04/23/2014
Hello! Of course, you feel bad now, but this is not a reason to die - this is a reason to start acting and change something in your life. I think - you need to get a divorce - go to a lawyer and get advice on what to do with a shared apartment. And you will be able to improve your future life - you can rent a house, and your husband will still have to pay alimony for his daughter. Over time, you will meet a man who will truly love you. And turn to God - He will always help - just ask!
Mikhail, age: 44 / 04/23/2014
Hello. When we talk about another person, we must understand that he will most likely never change, he is the way he is. (Unless he is a believer who works on his shortcomings, goes to church regularly, asks God for help and really wants to change). By staying with him, you are exposing yourself and your child to unnecessary risk. At any moment you and your child can be beaten, maimed, who knows what. But, unfortunately, no one will change your destiny for you. Pull yourself together. It turns out that you are afraid that if you leave he will beat you and you will end up in the hospital, but he will beat you at home anyway and you will end up in the hospital. Most likely, your husband is mentally ill. Normal people have no need to take out aggression on loved ones, but he cannot control his emotions and not even be ashamed of it. Not understanding that he is sick is very dangerous. You yourself are responsible for your life, and not your husband, who turns out to be a mentally ill person.
Margarita, age: 29/04/23/2014
Belka, there are no hopeless situations. There are usually several options for solving problems. Try to look at them. I don’t know what city you live in, whether there are crisis centers for women, free lawyers, what status your husband has, etc. If you fear for your life, then it makes sense to consider a plan to return to your city, where you have family and friends who can support you at first. And from there begin the divorce and division of property. Slowly start saving money for the trip. Or borrow money from relatives. My grandmother once left with a one-year-old child in her arms from her first husband, a fighter. He came home from work in the evening, and it was empty. He followed her to her parents’ house in another city, yelled a little and then only reminded her of himself with alimony. It is impossible to live in the atmosphere you described. Save yourself and your child. I won’t write anything about your husband, and everything is clear. Tyrant, evil and narrow-minded. There is definitely a way out. Well done to you for not breaking down, for not accepting this painful situation. Everything will work out for you and your daughter, just come up with a good plan and ask for God’s help.
Lena, age: 30 / 04/23/2014
Hello, Belka! Your situation reminded me of the movie “In Bed with the Enemy.” Did not watch? I think we need to come up with an escape plan. Where to run? To relatives. Call them from a payphone, or ask a passerby for the phone and give them money for the call. Try to somehow save money, 200 rubles until the next salary...eventually take a credit card, a loan and run away with your daughter. Watch this film, where the heroine carefully thought out her escape. It seems to me that such a critical situation, on the contrary, should spur you to come up with something, you are not alone, you have a beloved daughter! And God is with you! He is always on the side of the weak, on the side of the offended. I wish you strength and determination! WITH GOD BLESSING!!!
Masha, age: 24 / 04/23/2014
Belka, I agree with Mikhail - you need to pray very fervently and firmly. And I really believe that prayer will help. Pray to the Lord, the Mother of God, and St. Nicholas. In your own words, as best you can. If possible, go to church. For God, everything is possible, there is no need to doubt it. For us, the situation may seem hopeless, but the Lord will definitely show you a way out. He led the Apostle Peter out of prison when the heavy locked doors opened by themselves. So it is here. The husband, apparently, has some kind of mental breakdown, or because of permissiveness and impunity he behaves this way. But God can change the heart and thoughts of any person, including your husband. You are asking for protection, for help. And believe that you will definitely receive it. And there is no need to think about suicide. I understand you very much, but don’t be afraid, just believe.
Nastya, age: 40 / 04/23/2014
Hello Belka! I understand you very much, I grew up in a similar family, my advice is to run, run away from this man while you are young. and more or less healthy, later, when your girl grows up, she will understand your actions, my mother had two of us, she was afraid of difficulties, and as a result, a lost life, humiliation, bullying, beatings, and the result was that my mother died at 60 years old, and so without living peacefully in love and harmony. And dad, dad now lives for his own pleasure and continues to throw mud at her, dear, fight for yourself, there is no one more dear to your girl than you, and now, as an adult, I miss my mother, I feel sorry for her ruined youth and life, and nothing else can't be fixed. Not everything is so scary, the main thing is that you have family, but maybe they won’t be happy about it, but they will understand, everything can be fixed, the main thing is to do something, and everything can be resolved with the apartment, there are all kinds of consultations, collect the necessary documents, passports, certificates, find the strength within yourself and change your life, there is no one else to fight for it except you.
Svetlana, age: 30 / 04/23/2014
Christ is Risen! girl, haven’t you realized yet that life is a chance to become a kind, strong, bright person or an evil, stupid person who suppresses everyone and everything. if in fact everything is exactly as you write, RUN FROM HIM. you will continue to live with him, the child will then accuse you of a terrible childhood, and you will, in any case, adapt, begin to degrade. Take full responsibility for your future and your child. It will be difficult in the first moments, but then you will get used to it. but your child will not remain an orphan - one, you will become independent - two. The main thing is not to reach for material goods now, to learn to be content with little. My neighbor raised three children herself. These were the dashing nineties: no salaries, nothing to heat with, we slept dressed, fed from the garden. but now everyone as one takes care of their mother. Forgive me again, but now the main thing for you is not to be afraid and I am writing again - TAKE ALL RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FUTURE AND THE FUTURE OF YOUR DAUGHTER. with love to you.
Larisa, age: 50 / 04/23/2014
I fully support Lena's advice. You need to save yourself and your child. Crisis centers for women exist almost everywhere. They also happen at churches. Well, it’s better, of course, to go to relatives. Just don’t be afraid. Your husband feels his power over you, and his impunity. What you said is not normal and you don’t need to put up with it and endure it. Think about how you can leave with your daughter and act. If you decide to leave, don’t even think about feeling sorry for him, much less coming back. He won't be good anymore.
Antonina, age: 29/04/24/2014
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But it could have been different
He could become an intelligent, honest and decent family man, the head of the family. The anal vector gives birth to golden people for whom family values are above all. Professionalism, quality, analytical mind, powerful memory give such a person every opportunity to become respected and in demand in society.
He could remain a loving son. And also a caring husband and father. The visual vector gives a person a kind, loving heart, capable of great spiritual dedication.
He could find himself in science, explore new facets of the universe and find his meaning. The sound vector, endowing a person with abstract intelligence, helps to find answers to the most profound questions about the meaning of human life on earth. Such people go into science, literature, compose music, and invent new technologies.
But I did everything so that my son would spend days on the Internet, swear dirty words in chat rooms, close the door in front of me and remain silent in response. I did this with my own hands.
This is what physical abuse does to our children. And this is far from the limit of the terrible consequences.
Doxxing
Doxxing is a situation where someone's personal information is posted online with an invitation to other people to harass/abuse/bully the victim. This personal information may include the victim's address, telephone number, place of work, email address, logins, banking information or information about family members.
An example of doxxing is the Gamergate incident in 2014. Video game developer and American programmer Zoe Quinn has been publicly accused of sleeping with journalists to get positive reviews for a game she developed. Fans of a rival game attacked Zoe with daily threats on Twitter and the publication of her address.
Is doxxing a crime?
If the collection of information is carried out in a legal way, for example, from public accounts on social networks, then doxxing is not considered a crime. If a person broke the law to obtain this information (for example, hacked an email account), then doxxing is a crime. Additionally, if you can prove that the doxxing attempt was carried out for the purpose of threat or harassment, then such actions will also be considered illegal.
How to prevent doxxing
To prevent doxxing, you need to take steps to ensure that your data and personal information is safe.
- Look in search engines to see what information is available about you.
- Make all your online profiles private (closed).
- To be on the safe side, delete your data from various data broker sites.
- Use a VPN to protect your online connections.
Children do not deserve violence, even if the whole world collapses. This is your choice
Do you still think that you are right to raise your children with physical strength and screaming? You have no idea where this road leads you. Whatever the reasons for your poor condition, children do not deserve violence.
What does our current pain mean compared to the pain that we drive into our children with the help of physical force? All these troubles, ruined plans, disorder in your personal life, loss of respect, fear of what people will say, everyday and financial problems - all this is worth nothing. Nothing is worth the ruined soul of a child and the lost connection with him forever.
Beaten and humiliated children will never love you back. Moreover, life itself will not answer them with love, luck, or happiness. Physical and mental violence never goes away without leaving a trace.
Save yourself and save your children! While the child has not yet completed puberty, he is connected with his mother. This means that you have a chance to save your child and yourself too. Save the future, which is getting further away every day and will disappear completely if you do not stop in your madness.
By being aware of your mental states, you can fix everything; you gain calm, confidence and understanding of what is happening. And the most important thing is understanding your child, his nature and innate properties. You become a real person, and not a lump of grievances or a shapeless scrap of anxiety and fear. And your child feels this, his internal states also return to normal. Hundreds of people who once came to a training session on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan write about real changes in their relationships with children. They made it!
Give system-vector psychology a chance to change your attitude towards life, yourself, children, people, finally. To everything that moves you and gnaws at you, that does not allow you to sleep peacefully and live happily. Hurry up not to be late, so that you don’t have the bitterness of looking into the cold eyes of your child and waiting for a forgotten old age in an elderly home. Be people, become people and raise happy children.
How to behave correctly during office terror? Stop bullying immediately
The first and most effective recipe for beginners
At the first sign of bullying at work, bullying attempts should be stopped immediately and firmly. Failure to do this means becoming a constant target for shots.
Other universal rules that should be taken into account
1. Unlearn the habit of bragging. In this way, retaliatory envy can be stopped. You shouldn’t remember your trips abroad, your rich admirer, etc.
2. Immediately adopt the laws by which the team lived before your arrival.
3. Enlist the support of the team leader. We are not talking about flattery and the like here. Show wisdom!
4. Learn to keep your mouth shut.
5. Do not show your negative reaction in case of a comment.
6. Don't be unrequited and weak by nature.
Attention! In case of an unfounded remark or open bullying, do not remain silent under any circumstances. It's worth asking the question directly:
What do you want from me? Didn't you like me? What, may I ask?
The goal is to show that you are not going to tolerate this situation.
What should those who didn’t have time do?
The knowledge of system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan helps to comprehend life anew, taking responsibility and doing everything possible to understand and realize what is happening to the fullest. When a person is aware of himself in relationships with others, understands the cause-and-effect relationships of what is happening, he has a chance to correct the situation.
Whatever mistakes we make, we must make every effort to ensure that our children are held accountable for them as little as possible in life. This is only possible with knowledge of system-vector psychology. One day children will follow your example. For now, let your result be an example.
Register for the free online training using this link
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Author of the publication: Oksana Shevchenko, social worker
The article was written based on materials from the training “System-vector psychology”
Who is more likely to be a victim of bullying?
Of course, the cases are very different, but a certain character of the victims also plays a role. It could be:
✔ Tendency to complain about a hard life, whining. ✔ Complexity, often unconscious. ✔ On the contrary, a conscious desire to stand out at any cost, to become a black sheep. ✔ Natural gloominess, unsociability. ✔ Strange behavior from the point of view of an ordinary person.
Such character traits often cause irritation among both superiors and work colleagues. The result is the desire to humiliate, to crush under oneself.
