How to get rid of fear and anxiety - psychology tips

Just before the door I shuddered, as if I had been hit by a machine gun fire. Sticky sweat streamed down her face so that the collar of her blouse could be twisted. As luck would have it, cold, shaking hands groped in the bag for anything except napkins. Lord, how to overcome fear and calm down, huh? Keys, wallet, documents... Where are the napkins, damn them?!

The door swung open, and an overweight woman with a stern face flew out: “Girl, are you going for an interview? Do you have your resume?"

Having difficulty connecting the words, I mumbled that I was in the wrong office and started running down the stairs. The heels made a drumbeat, and tears streamed down his face. Washing off the makeup I spent the whole morning on. And at the same time, all the hopes that this time I will be able to cope with the feelings of anxiety and fear.

I could not. I couldn't cope. My dream job will go to someone else again. And my life will remain a complete hell, where I am afraid of my own shadow. Why am I being punished like this?

What is fear?

How to overcome fear in yourself? This is a question faced by many people around the world. First you need to understand what fear is. This feeling is necessary for a person. Thanks to him, we are able to survive and protect ourselves from dangerous situations. Fear is an important emotion that warns us, preventing us from making a mistake. We feel fear of impending danger.

A fearless person will simply not notice the threat. He will not be able to react to the situation in time to protect himself. However, fear can also paralyze and hinder movement. A person cannot do anything to protect himself. Panic leads to multiple casualties. In a moment of intense fear, a person feels the desire to run away, without thinking about the consequences. This is a very strong emotion.

Overcoming fear may be necessary if a person feels devastated by this emotion. Experts say that one should distinguish between feelings of fear and anxiety. These are slightly different emotions. Fear appears in a specific situation. For example, when an emergency arises.

It is worth understanding that anxiety is a non-specific emotion. It occurs in uncertain situations. For example, a person is afraid of criticism, talking to his boss about a promotion, etc. Anxiety often causes a decrease in quality of life. A person sleeps poorly and cannot enjoy every day. Often people realize that in order to be successful they need to take certain actions. For example, it is necessary to overcome the fear of speaking, communicating, etc.

Anxiety is a reaction to a psychological threat. However, there may be no real danger. This situation requires control. Because in such cases a person can torment and exhaust himself over a trifle. Fear is an emotion that can have very different intensities. Sometimes it is completely absent. But in some cases the emotion intensifies. The maximum level of fear is complete, all-consuming panic. This emotion can become a real nightmare for a person.

Main Causes of Anxiety

In this condition, a person experiences an internal conflict that gradually grows and makes him feel bad. Certain factors contribute to this. Let's look at the causes of fear and anxiety:

• psychological trauma in the past,
• irritating actions,
• suspiciousness of character, when a person is not sure of anything,
• psychological trauma in childhood, when parents put too much pressure on the child, made excessive demands on him,
• sedentary lifestyle, unhealthy diet,
• the beginning of life in a new place, previously unfamiliar to a person,
• negative events in the past,
• character traits when a pessimistic attitude towards life becomes a lifestyle,
• disorders in the body that destroy the endocrine system and cause hormonal imbalance.

Fear or phobia?

When looking for ways to overcome fears, a person must understand what kind of emotion he is dealing with. Perhaps such a feeling is completely natural and normal. For example, if someone threatens a person, he may actually be afraid. This is a natural, healthy reaction to the current situation. A person should be afraid of real situations that threaten his physical or mental state.

If fear becomes excessive, it develops into a phobia. This emotion is classified as a psychological disorder. The most common phobias are fears:

• heights;
• grow old;
• spiders, mice, snakes, rats, other insects;
• of death;
• confined space;
• other.

Such fears negatively affect a person’s life. Some people are so afraid of certain things that they are afraid to even go outside. In this case, overcoming the fear of death, insects, and other similar things is carried out under the supervision of a specialist. You need to fight phobias in order for life to be fulfilling.

It is worth noting, however, that it is not necessary for fear to reach the size of a phobia for a person’s quality of life to noticeably decrease. Any psychological disorders that prevent a person from performing everyday activities and responsibilities should not be ignored. Regardless of the degree of intensity of the emotion and the reason for its occurrence, there are ways to overcome anxiety and fears.

We can experience fear of something at any age. Sometimes it's even a pleasant emotion. For example, everyone experiences fear when riding a steep roller coaster. Millions of people around the world spend huge amounts of money to experience the extreme thrill of jumping with a safety net from a tall building or from an airplane with a parachute. The release of adrenaline into the blood leads to a whole range of vivid emotions. However, the uncontrolled fear that a person experiences day after day does not bring positive emotions. It takes away strength, not allowing you to lead your usual lifestyle. In this case, you need to fight your fears. It is quite possible.

Childhood fears

At a young age, the imagination is sometimes so vivid that fictitious images can seem real to the child. Each baby's character is different. Some children fearlessly climb the tallest tree, while others are afraid to even ride a bike. Extremes are always bad. A fearless child is bound to get injured, sometimes quite seriously. Therefore, parents must explain to the child how dangerous the consequences of his actions can be.

However, unreasonable fears, such as the dark, scary monsters in the closet or under the bed, can prevent a child from sleeping well. This is unacceptable, because a growing body needs proper rest. Therefore, psychology identifies children's fears and ways to overcome them as a separate category.

You should not take such fears seriously. The example of parents can greatly influence the behavior of the child. If mom and dad start playing along that they believe in a monster under the bed, it becomes even more real for the child. Therefore, you need to smile and simply say that how can you believe in such fables. Moreover, it’s worth looking under the bed or in the closet with your child.

It is also worth talking to your child about fear. It is necessary to explain that this is a normal human reaction that helps him survive and quickly respond to a dangerous situation. Monster, night ghosts and monsters are a figment of the imagination. Sometimes a parent's cheerful look and humor can achieve significant results. For example, we can say that the scariest ghost is our cat Murzik (or dog).

Psychologists say that overcoming children's fears often needs to begin with working with parents. Some fears are instilled in children by mothers or grandmothers. During the day they talk about the various dangers that await the child around every corner. As a result, the baby begins to feel fear, which manifests itself in nightmares. During the daytime, you need to pay attention to outdoor games. Overcoming obstacles and climbing to heights are especially useful. The child feels confident. This is how you overcome your fears.

At night, it is worth turning on a small night light that can illuminate the room. This gives children confidence. Some kids ask not to close their room. This request should also be fulfilled so that the child gets used to the idea that nothing threatens him.

How to stop being afraid of dogs

This fear may be innate or triggered by the following:

• Since childhood, my parents forbade me to touch animals, even domestic ones. Arguing this is that they can bite. It has become ingrained in your subconscious that absolutely all dogs are dangerous.
• You have been the victim or witness of an animal attack.
• A panic attack is not triggered by fear of the dog itself, but by fear of contracting rabies or other dangerous diseases.
• Attendance at dog fights. They show how aggressive these animals can be and the damage they can cause.
• Watching a scary movie or report about a dog attack.

It is normal to be afraid of these animals, especially large breeds or barn dogs. However, when fear arises even at the sight of pocket dogs or puppies, you need to fight it. Useful tips to help with this:

• Watch the dogs behave from the window. Make sure that they are not attacking anyone and that your fears are unfounded.
• Go to dog walking areas. Communication with their owners will be beneficial. Listen to funny stories about pets. After this, you won't be so scared to be around.
• If your living conditions allow, get yourself a puppy. Preferably a Labrador and a German Shepherd (these are the most obedient and friendly dogs).
• If you meet a dog on the road, there is no need to run away or freeze in place. Continue to move forward calmly. The dog will not touch you if you do not show aggression. The most she will do is bark to intimidate.
• If there are a lot of street dogs in your area, buy a stun gun. This will make you feel calmer and your fear will be lessened.

Adult fears

Sometimes children's fears are no different from adult horrors. Kids may be afraid of performing on stage, of being abandoned, of not being good enough. They may be afraid to express their opinion when it is required, etc. Similar fears are also inherent in adults. It is important to understand what exactly a person is afraid of, what worries him. Only after this can a child or adult take targeted actions to overcome fear.

There is a whole spectrum of anxiety conditions. They can appear periodically or be present in life permanently. The most common fears of people are:

• to be rejected or abandoned;
• fail;
• loss of property, status, security;
• seeming not good enough for others;
• maintain close relationships;
• other.

Fear can take away courage. A person does nothing because he is unable to dare to act. As a result, he loses one opportunity after another. Such fears are no less dangerous than phobias.

Adults are afraid that they will not be good enough, that their shortcomings will be ridiculed. Failures are sometimes not perceived correctly. Having stumbled once, a person no longer dares to act. He goes with the flow, not trying to achieve what he wants.

One of the ways to overcome fears is to realize your imperfection. Besides, all people are imperfect. Even the most successful among us are afraid. They may not show it. But there were situations in their lives when they needed to take responsibility and decide to act. They became successful through a series of similar actions. To get rid of such fears, you need to look at the situation globally.

There are many techniques that help get rid of a variety of fears. They are worth considering in more detail.

Awareness of your fear

The technique of overcoming fear is based on careful planning. Only by knowing how to act when anxiety, phobias and other negative manifestations arise can you move on. In addition, a person must understand that fighting one’s own fears is work. It will take a lot of effort to defeat yourself. And this is quite difficult.

One must also understand that learning to coexist with such an emotion is a vital task for a person. Absolute fearlessness leads to death. Therefore, you need to treat fear with respect. This is an important emotion that has gone through a long evolution along with humanity.

It is necessary to begin the fight against negative manifestations of fear with introspection. This will increase the level of personal comfort. You need to look at yourself from the outside. For example, overcoming the fear of public speaking begins with studying the reasons that cause it. A person must understand exactly what situations scare him. He is afraid of seeming stupid in the eyes of the audience, uninteresting, his opinion will not be heard, etc. We also need to understand what we should be like for the situation to become favorable.

This approach allows you to develop a behavior strategy. There are a number of fears that need to be consciously confronted.

An important point in the process of creating a strategy is awareness of your fear. It needs to be recognized. You should understand that experiencing fear does not make you worse or weaker. Every person experiences similar emotions. This absolutely does not mean that you are weak or less respected. There are many people who experience exactly the same fear. If you ignore it, this does not mean that negative emotions will disappear. They are likely to get worse. Recognizing your fear is the first step towards controlling it.

Rationalization, observation

Overcoming the fear of death, fire, water, lack of money, etc. must begin with the process of rationalization. It is worth looking at the situation correctly. Of course, every person is afraid of dying. This is facilitated by our survival instinct. Such fear is understandable. But being afraid of dying every time you go out is illogical. In such cases, you need to remember the likelihood with which such an event can occur. If there is no war outside the window, no stones fall from the sky, the probability of dying is small. Especially if a person looks around and avoids obviously dangerous situations (for example, crossing the road at a red light).

You should definitely look at your fears rationally. This allows you to gain control over them.

Overcoming the fear of speaking should begin by observing other people. Don't think that you are alone in your feelings. A huge number of people are afraid of this. The difference can only be in the degree of intensity of the atypical emotion. However, all people are nervous before going on stage. Especially if you need to perform alone, without a group. Watching how other people deal with similar unpleasant feelings can help you overcome your own fear.

Increased self-esteem

Another effective technique for overcoming fear is to consciously increase self-esteem. If a person has a fear of communication, he may catch himself thinking certain negative thoughts about himself. Having failed to overcome the barrier and approach a person to start a conversation, we tend to reproach ourselves, saying phrases in our heads, for example, “I’m a loser,” “I’m a weakling,” “no one needs a weak person like me.” Such thoughts have an extremely negative impact on our perception of ourselves.

You should encourage yourself. You need to mentally say: “Even though it’s hard for me to overcome this barrier now, to start a conversation, I can do it. I am an interesting conversationalist. People want to communicate with me." Even if you can’t decide to have a conversation the first time, over time a person will be able to overcome his fear. This feeling is like jumping off a diving board. Looking down into the water, the man is afraid to jump. However, in flight, he already forgets about his fear. The same thing happens with other fears. The fear is much greater until the moment a person decides to take action.

Relaxation techniques and challenging yourself

There are special exercises to overcome fears. A person must learn to accept negative emotions. She needs to face it. If a person is afraid to even think about his fear, he makes the situation worse. You can't run from him. You have to accept that there are certain situations that are scary. For example, this could be flying on an airplane. This will not allow you to travel to other countries. A person loses certain opportunities. You need to come to terms with the idea that sooner or later you will have to fly on an airplane.

A good exercise in this case is the relaxation technique. If a wave of anxiety or panic comes over you, you need to calm down by focusing on your breathing. It should be measured and even. A few minutes after breathing exercises, mental balance is restored. A person will be able to think soberly, taking control of the situation. You can also count in your head. The numbers are spoken slowly. Simple exercises can help you get rid of fear.

Another technique that allows you to overcome fears is challenging yourself. A person must understand what he is afraid of. By visualizing your fear, you can challenge it, start fighting it as if it were your worst enemy. If you are afraid of some action, you need to perform it. It will be quite difficult. However, over time, a person will be able to completely overcome the unpleasant feeling. For example, if you have a fear of spiders, you need to start small. First you just need to go into the room in which this insect is. When a person is able to enter the room, he has already partially overcome his fear.

Then, after a while, you need to pull yourself together and approach the spider. You can consider it. This procedure is carried out until the fear goes away completely. After this comes the most difficult thing - you need to take the spider in your hand. To do this, you can ask your loved ones to help in such a matter. The person is blindfolded, and someone close to him holds a model of a spider in his hand. At the same time, a person should imagine how he approaches the spider and then takes it in his hand. After such training, you can approach a real spider. After this, you will be able to cope with fear.

How to stop being afraid of flying on an airplane

The fear of flying on airplanes (aerophobia) is closely intertwined with thanatophobia. In most cases, a person experiences fear because he is afraid of becoming a victim of a plane crash. As in the previous case, rational reasoning will help, what is the probability of crashing. According to statistics, the plane is considered the safest transport. Although there is a risk of a plane crash, it is negligible.

If self-conviction doesn't help, and you still feel panicked when boarding a plane, try meditation. This technique helps overcome excessive anxiety and obsessive thoughts. In just 15 minutes you will stabilize your emotional state, fear will dull.

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There is nothing difficult about meditation. You just need to sit comfortably, relax and close your eyes in the airplane seat. Begin to take deep and even breaths. At first, bad thoughts will continue to creep into your head, but you shouldn’t stress yourself out even more, but you shouldn’t suppress them either. Be neutral about them and continue to breathe deeply.

When you begin to control your thoughts and emotions, your brain will begin to think rationally. You will understand that flying on airplanes is not so scary, the likelihood of a plane crash is minimal. To distract yourself, listen to an interesting audiobook.

Fight fear gradually

Experts say that methods of overcoming fear are based on a gradual solution to the problem. In other words, if a person is afraid of drowning, you cannot push him off a boat into the river and expect the fear to go away. It will only get worse and become more intense. You need to move towards your goal gradually, stage by stage.

You need to understand what result a person is trying to achieve. For example, in hot countries, contact with a spider can be really dangerous. Therefore, you should not touch the insect with your hands. But in order to drive the uninvited guest out of your home, without waiting for outside help (which may not be available at the moment), you need to force yourself to get closer to the insect. Next, it is covered with a glass jar. Cardboard is inserted under its neck. In this state, the spider can be taken outside.

To perform such actions a person must train. We need to start small. If you are afraid of swimming in open water, you should first spend some time on the shore. When such an action does not cause fear, you can proceed to subsequent actions. They take off their shoes and walk barefoot along the surf line. Then you can swim in shallow water. Gradually the rhinestone recedes. Over time, a person will be able to swim a little further, where his legs do not reach the bottom.

Examples from life

Anxiety can also be thought of as thoughts that unreasonably run ahead. That is, a person imagines himself in a place where he is not currently present.

For example, students during a lesson fall into this state when the teacher wants to start a survey and looks at the magazine.

The only question in this situation is “why?” Because the teacher is still in thought and doesn’t know who to ask. There are many options for the outcome of this situation. If you think logically, then such a phenomenon as anxiety is completely inappropriate in this case.

But you were unlucky, and it so happened that the teacher’s gaze fell on you on the list. A person who gets ahead of himself may become constrained and, in the worst case scenario, reach the point of loss of consciousness. But in fact, nothing has happened yet. The teacher didn't even ask the question. Again, “why?”

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It is important to always ask yourself the sobering question “why?”

The teacher raised the student, but until he asked a question, there was no cause for alarm.

The teacher asked a question - there is no reason for alarm. In this case, you can try to answer it.

You didn’t answer, the teacher gave you a negative grade - there is no reason to worry. You need to think about how to correct an unsatisfactory grade. Because you can’t remove a bad mark from the journal, but you can get several positive points.

Let's consider another situation that everyone has been in - waiting for a bus. In addition, if you are late, then waiting becomes an unbearably draining task. But your worry will not speed up the bus, which is quite logical. Then why worry?

Motivation

When studying ways to overcome fear, it is worth paying attention to such an important issue as motivation. You need to imagine how life will change for the better when you manage to cope with your emotions. For example, a person is afraid to drive a car. He must imagine how he can go on an exciting journey in his own car if he overcomes his fear.

Otherwise, a person will live with his phobia, because he will not understand why he should fight it at all. We need to clearly realize that such fears limit us by setting certain boundaries. We are forced to obey them. You can find freedom only by overcoming fear.

By considering approaches and techniques for overcoming fear, you can significantly improve the quality of your life. Anxieties and phobias will remain in the past, no longer disturbing the person.

Vein pulsation

Is it possible to overcome the feeling of fear in a few minutes and help yourself, relatives, friends and even a child? Yes, you can. Take a closer look at this very simple technique.

How to overcome fear:

1. Place your palm around either thumb.
2. Close your eyes and try to calm your breathing.
3. Feel the pulsation in your thumb.
4. Slowly count from 10 to 1.
5. If you need to repeat, then repeat the count.
6. Within a few minutes the fear will disappear.