Assess the situation soberly
The first thing you need to do is put your emotions aside and assess the situation. Is she really that hopeless? Perhaps there are some advantages to it after all? How to proceed?
It's best to do this in writing so you don't miss anything. Write down all possible scenarios and their possible consequences.
You can ask someone you know to help you. The less this situation concerns him, the better. A fresh, unbiased look will be very helpful.
If you are faced with a serious life-changing choice, for example, where to go after school or where to go to work, read our article “How to develop intuition.” It will help you reach your subconscious and get an answer.
What to do when you're bored at work?
At work, the most tiring task is waiting; at such moments, boredom can overcome anyone. At first glance, you might think that there is no busier and more enthusiastic person than the one who is at work. However, practice shows that at work you often have to wait in the wings. For example:
- end of the working day (when everything is done and there is extra time left);
- waiting for materials or goods;
- lunch break;
- waiting for clients.
Of course, there are other times when you are bored at work, but the options listed above are the most common. Let's look at what to do when you're bored in your free time.
1. Organize the numbers - if you have a free hour, then it will be useful and interesting to deal with the contacts in your phone. As a rule, many people have a very poor contact menu. Incomprehensible “olbukhuch”, it is better to sign it correctly, and some contacts can be deleted.
2. Crossword – when going to work, you can grab a magazine with a crossword or scanword puzzle. It will not require much space, and in your free time it will allow you to kill time and practice your erudition.
3. Call your friends - calling a friend or acquaintance will help pass the wait, and can also lift your spirits. In this case, you shouldn’t spend a long time choosing who to call. It will be much more interesting if you choose a random contact. And then you can say that the number was dialed by chance and try to start a conversation. As a rule, such calls often restore lost connections with loved ones.
4. Maps - suitable for people who work with a team in limited places. For example, at a construction site, at a factory, etc. Bringing a deck with you will make your lunch break a great time spent in company.
5. Games on your phone are a great way to pass the time when you’re bored. Just don’t be lazy if there is no Internet at work. At home, in advance, you can download several games to your phone, and one of them will definitely help you overcome boredom at work.
6. Music is another way, in your free time from work, to have fun instead of languishing. It is worth noting that a well-chosen playlist that suits your taste copes with boredom even better than games.
7. Pranking a colleague is one of the most common ways to have fun at work and it works flawlessly. The main thing is not to overdo it with jokes, otherwise you can ruin the relationship. And other colleagues will be happy to suggest an idea for a draw.
8. Tell jokes - boring waiting will turn into fun gatherings if you stock up on a couple of jokes on different topics. It often happens that after the story, the next member of the team takes up the initiative. And so on until the stock of knowledge of colleagues on the chosen topic is exhausted. An anecdote from another series would be appropriate here.
9. Do a warm-up - this way to pass the time is relevant when certain tasks are set before performing the warm-up. For example, 20 squats, 20 push-ups, 10 pull-ups, etc. And if free minutes appear every day and at a certain time, then such an activity will not only relieve boredom, but also help you gain a great physique.
10. Master an interesting skill - with just a few minutes, you can learn how to masterfully twirl a pen between your fingers, a lighter, a pencil or another object. Focusing on movements distracts attention and develops motor skills.
Don't cut from the shoulder
Never make impulsive decisions. In a shattered, unstable state, there is a high probability of making a mistake, which will be very difficult to correct later. Sometimes it is useful to suspend the situation for a while, perhaps everything will resolve itself. If you don’t know what to do, and you can’t postpone making a decision, choose the path with the least risks.
Sometimes to solve a problem you just need to take a break. Or, as some American psychologists say, “go out onto the balcony” - breathe fresh air there, and then, already rested, return to the problem.
Pause does not mean “sit and do nothing.” You just need to distract yourself with something. For example, you can train your brain on simulators from Vikium, which I recommend to readers in all my articles and which I myself use three times a day. They are free, exciting, and besides, there are already a hundred of them now and new ones are constantly appearing.
Another option is to read a book. Not necessarily fiction - you can read authors such as Napoleon Hill, Robert Kiyosaki, Jim Rohn, Randy Gage, etc.
Take care of yourself.
Negative emotions, stress, and constant worries only aggravate the difficult situation. In order to find solutions and understand how to live further, you need to have not only psychological, but also physical health. A habitual daily routine, adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and a daily walk in the fresh air help improve the general condition of the body. And the better a person feels, the higher the likelihood that he will cope with any problems.
Take the test: Self-Esteem Scale
Reconsider your approach to the problem
Draw a random scale on paper. You can take an ordinary centimeter ruler as a sample. This will be a scale for objective assessment of your problem. At one end, let there be a state of maximum comfort and carefreeness, and at the other, absolute hopelessness, leading to inevitable death. Mark several intermediate divisions between the two extremes. Now find the place on the scale that adequately reflects the position of your problem in this coordinate system.
If you are not terminally ill, your house did not burn down in a fire, you did not lose all your close relatives overnight, then your situation will be somewhere in the middle. You are still very far from the extreme point of despair, but you worry as if the worst has already happened.
Remember what good things you have in your life and thank fate for it. Millions of people don't have even a hundredth part of what you have.
What's next?
Energy will be felt inside, most often “negative”. We must learn to use this for creativity. For example, when I feel good, I write an article, and don’t go and waste energy on people.
It's important to do what you have at hand. We begin to pour all the freed up time and energy into what we like the most. Not in “I like it perfectly”, not in the meaning of life, but at least take what infuriates minimally and try to find interesting components in it.
Whatever we like to do, we take it and do it. What we don’t like, we change so that we like it.
Example. I was fucked, I took the direct message. He just didn't piss me off. Then I was able to hear my sincere desire - not to depend on someone, not to work like plankton, to be free and not have a low ceiling.
When something is stressful, I twist and turn my attitude towards the matter until it changes into a component that is pleasant for me. It’s stressful for me to talk to clients, I’m learning to understand them. Lets go.
Don't blame yourself
We are not gods to foresee and control everything - our sphere of influence is very limited. If you are used to blaming yourself for all the failures that happen to you, then you are a hyper-responsible person.
Hyper-responsibility often leads to self-destruction - this is the main psychological cause of cardiovascular diseases. Therefore, you need to get rid of the tendency to self-flagellation. As soon as the next time your brain starts a chain of painful thoughts, about how you should have done it this way and not that way, that you are so and so bad, tell it STOP and with an effort of will, switch your attention to some important things.
Psychologist Sergei Klyuchnikov
cantrium.com | MySuomi.com | HELSINKI | TourMANN.com
The wise ancient philosopher Seneca once said: “What are you waiting for? Fulfillment of all desires? Such a time will not come! Such is the chain of desires: one thing will give birth to another.”
But it’s not only that a person wants something all the time, the point is also that he wants it very much, while realizing that giving in to desire is fraught with big problems.
The article will talk about acute situations when desire literally grabs us by the throat and we need to cope with this desire right now.
Such acute situations include:
-circumstances when we need to very quickly apply a responsible but risky decision,
- a situation of conflict conversation, when we are overwhelmed with very strong emotions,
- desires for revenge, revenge,
-various types of temptations fraught with great life losses,
-provoking a breakdown in people suffering from various kinds of addictions and who are “in the grip” (smoking, alcohol, drugs, computer addiction, gambling addiction, etc.),
-temptations of a criminal and financial nature (offering a bribe to an official).
The topic of this article and the question itself is “ what to do if you really want to, but you can’t ”?
This was suggested to me by a visitor to my website and social media pages.
He suggested that I collect all the effective methods of immediate self-help in situations where we are overwhelmed by a variety of unnecessary or destructive desires, advising me to talk about the methods that I use in my life.
I decided to follow his advice and tell him what methods of quickly influencing myself exist, which ones I use in my life and what I teach my clients and training participants.
Before posting this article on the website, and then on social networks, I showed it to two of my psychologist friends.
One said that the article was of exceptional value because he had never seen a work where all the methods of working with one’s destructive desires were described in such detail and collected in one place.
But another colleague of mine showed skepticism, saying that people would not read, much less apply, these tips and exercises, since no one wants to limit their desires.
I agreed with him, but only partially, because I remembered several dozen cases from my consulting work, where I was able to either convince clients to give up fulfilling their desires, sometimes simply terrible, or work with them to extinguish negative desires and images.
Although not all of them agreed immediately.
I remember a client who came for a consultation on the advice of his wife on the topic of conflicts in family life (he cheated on his wife, without even hiding it) reacted to my proposal to learn methods of controlling his desires like this: “Do you want me to control my desire to go to the left? I will never".
True, when she got tired of constant cheating, she finally filed for divorce, he was ready for any lessons and efforts, but unfortunately it was too late.
I think that for those who want to work using this method, you can find enough methods in the article.
I created these methods over many years, both working with my own poorly managed desires (before, especially in my youth, there were many such desires and they were difficult to manage), and trying to help my clients, conducting a variety of sessions with him, and trying teach them to manage themselves independently.
Can I use them myself? Will you be able to use these tips and methods yourself in situations where you really want to, but you can’t?
Of course, yes, it is possible and necessary (this article was written to help people in such situations), but not always!
However, in those cases when you realize that you cannot cope with them yourself, it is still better to contact a specialist.
Speaking about desires, I do not want to reduce them to purely biological drives.
We are talking about desires of a psychological nature.
When a desire for great power arises and you feel that you cannot cope with it, this means that an uncontrollable part has appeared inside the person, separate from the personality as a whole.
You feel the pressure of desire, but you know that for some reason you cannot give in to desire.
The success of your attempt will depend on how often you have defeated yourself in the past and were able to resist destructive desires in the past.
If you have always given in to yourself, and, for example, became an alcoholic, you may at some point want to refuse friends who invite you for a drink.
But it will be much more difficult to do this than twenty years ago, when you were just embarking on this disastrous path.
Now, if you have gained experience in successfully overcoming such a harmful desire in a variety of situations, you will be able to rely on it and it, this experience, will help you not only make the right decision, but also keep it.
Another important factor in victory is the state of your consciousness, the degree of wakefulness, awareness and presence of your “I” in a situation of temptation, when you experience a strong desire to do something situationally pleasant now, but harmful in the future.
If you are collected, aware of yourself in a given situation and consciously maintain your state of consciousness, it will be much easier for you to cope with any desire that comes over you.
If you are spiritually and psychologically asleep, if you are in a distracted and relaxed state, if you do not understand what awareness, presence and concentration are, any strong desire is likely to take possession of you, even before you understand its harm.
So what to do if you really want to, but you can’t?
There are very specific methods that allow a person to stop his destructive impulse, shake off the darkness that envelops his consciousness and contain, dissolve, even transform the energy of negative desire.
I counted ten such methods that very specifically tell a person what to do if he really wants to, but can’t?
The success of using these methods depends on whether a person remembers himself in life or not, whether he leads a conscious life or is in a state of half-asleep, whether he has the experience of self-overcoming or whether the experience of yielding to his desires predominates.
If we are dreaming in reality, then most likely an acute destructive desire will take over the decision-making center in this half-asleep state and we will surrender to the negative.
Only that person whose will is at least to some extent trained and is in a collected state is able to truly successfully apply the methods proposed below.
1. Conscious pause method.
You caught yourself wanting to do something enticing, although you understand that such an act could cause you harm after some time, that it is not certain, that is, there are risks and there may be undesirable consequences.
Stop, hold yourself for at least a few seconds, and if possible even minutes, before you do something.
The longer this pause is, the better: an acute obsessive desire may weaken, and your will and ability to self-control, on the contrary, will become stronger.
What to do with yourself during a break?
You can observe desire from the outside, studying its characteristics, or your own breathing.
The main thing is to prevent purely reflexive consent to immediately do what this tempting desire dictates.
By pausing, you stop and stop the unnecessary turn of energy that has already begun to occur in you.
Of course, when you pause, you must maintain adequacy in the life situation when you communicate, talk, walk, work, and therefore your actions should not look ridiculous.
Taking a pause does not mean being an inadequate brake when communicating with people.
We are talking primarily about an internal pause, when you stop feelings, thoughts, decisions, desires that are about to be translated into a risky action.
If it is better for you to be alone to take this pause, then you can even take a walk or, citing the need to make a confidential call, leave the room, walk down the street, and interrupt the conversation for a while.
Practice shows that if during communication you did not answer immediately, but managed to pause, during which you took several breaths and exhalations, your answer will be completely different from what you would have answered in a normal conflict manner.
2. Shaking awakening method.
Desire is like a dream: it puts you to sleep.
If you feel yourself being hypnotized by desire, try shaking yourself.
You can make some gestures, movements, snap your fingers, literally shake your head, go wash with cold water, if possible at the moment.
Even a subtle movement where you try to pinch yourself or press on some part of your body to cause mild pain will be helpful.
It is important to transfer the center of your sense of self to the physical body: it will help you throw off destructive attractions, just like throwing off excess clothes or weights.
By acting in this way, you will at least for some moment interrupt your desire.
Record the moment of awakening using some verbal formula: “Stop!” I am awakening and in complete control of myself!”
Repeat this formula from several times to several dozen times until you feel that you have shaken off this unnecessary hypnosis.
3. Method of looking into the future.
The very fact that you paused means that you at least for a short moment looked into the future and were convinced that the fulfillment of your strong desire would not bring you anything good.
If pausing doesn't help you overcome the desire, then look into the future more closely.
You can calculate this future logically, or you can simply imagine more vividly what awaits you if you succumb to a destructive impulse.
If you manage to pause, try to look into the future, which will come in some near or distant time, if you do take your risky step.
Imagine that some time after the action is taken, legal retribution will occur. How unpleasant and painful it can be!
Compare a short moment of pleasure from fulfilling a desire and a long, very unpleasant hangover. This should stop you.
4. Method of discarding desire.
Try to mentally discard your desire like an unnecessary object, shake it off your soul like crumbs from a table.
For this method to work effectively, you need to gather your desire into some kind of unity.
Imagine as clearly as possible that you are collecting desire that has spread throughout your body like a liquid (in Christianity there is even a special term for this state of consciousness - “spill”).
Mentally collect this desire into a compact image, into a paper ball, and then mentally throw this ball out of the boundaries of your body and consciousness.
5. Method of volitional self-restraint.
If the desire continues to put pressure on you and push you in an undesirable direction, then you need to decide to resist this desire for some time.
Resistance in this case is the inclusion of a force pushing you in the opposite direction.
Such strength, supported by the internal decision “No pasaran!” acts in the opposite direction.
This force can act as a rock or dam blocking the flow of water.
The method is strong, but limited in time - if you only use this method, you will quickly exhaust all your strength.
And even if you choose this method, there must be soft firmness - determination and perseverance in circumstances without internal suppression of yourself using a rigid will. If you resort to self-abuse, it will backfire: some part of you will rebel and you will snap.
Therefore, exhaust the power of negative desire gradually.
6. Verbal formula method.
At the moment of a strong and poorly controlled desire, you can reinforce your volitional retention with a verbal formula.
Repeat to yourself 30, 50, 100 times some verbal formula that reinforces your efforts.
It is only important that this formula does not have the nature of a negative statement, for example: “I will not do this.”
It’s better to repeat something like: “I am a strong, integrated person and I have complete control over all my desires.”
Repeat this formula consciously and with pleasure until it creates within you a feeling of inner strength and power over yourself.
7. Method of prayer.
In this case, your verbal formula will not be addressed to yourself, but to a higher part of yourself, to the Almighty, God, the higher Self.
You can turn to a higher principle in yourself and above yourself with a request approximately as follows: “Lord, give me the strength to defeat (dissolve, let go, overcome, etc.) this desire and do something...”
Here you need to name the action within yourself that replaces the negative action that a destructive desire pushes you to commit (for example, you go to a fitness center, not a beer bar).
Sincere, conscious and focused appeal to that which is higher and stronger than you and your desire, as a rule, helps you cope with obsession.
Sometimes even prayer helps, and the image is a higher image that you introduce into your consciousness.
A famous Indian parable, called “The Desire to Drink,” tells about this:
The famous mystic Ramakrishna Paramahamsa lived in Bengal and he was very popular among the Bengalis. One day a famous playwright came to him, who violated all the principles of faith: he ate meat and drank wine. He came to him and said:
- Swamiji, what should I do? How can I give it all up? I like to drink, I like to eat meat - that's who I am.
Ramakrishna looked at him and said:
- Okay, if you like to drink, you can drink, I give you permission!
He was delighted:
- Now I will have authority, I can drink!
But Ramakrishna added:
“There is one rule: next time you drink, first take the wine and offer it to Lord Thakur.”
Because all Hindus have the Lord at home. He replied:
- Okay, fine, let's drink prasad!
Still, he was a Hindu, a man of culture, he had an understanding of what was possible, what was not, what was good and what was bad. The next time he felt thirsty, he took the wine and thought: “We must offer it, I promised. I'm a man of my word." He took the wine and was about to put it before the Lord, but it became impossible for him to feel ashamed. He thought: “Well, how am I going to offer this crap to Him?” He could not.
One day passed without wine. The next day, again this same desire tears him apart from within, he again goes with this wine, puts the glass down with trembling hands, pours it - and cannot offer it!
Three days later he came to Paramahamsa Ramakrishna and said:
- What have you done to me? I can't drink anymore! I promised you that I would offer, but I can’t offer!
Ramakrishna replied:
- Which is what needed to be proven.
Such methods work better for believers, for whom it is unthinkable to offer God a drink of wine.
You won’t get our alcoholics down with this; they’ll offer a drink to the Almighty and won’t blush.
Twice when I was counseling heavy drinkers, I told them this parable, after finding out whether they considered themselves believers or not and asking the question if they could propose a drink to the Creator.
What do you think they responded?
One said: “For my dear soul,” and the other: “If only I had enough booze for myself.” So why not offer it.”
What is the moral of this fable for us?
The fact is that the higher image to which you turn with such a prayer must be alive and real for you and that in its presence you begin to behave differently, better than before.
Check your desires and their possible consequences with a higher spiritual image, standard, example, and this will give you additional strength that will help you move away from the edge of the abyss in time.
8. Method of memories.
At a difficult moment, when you make a choice between a strong desire and a temptation that can ultimately destroy you, remember your loved ones, friends, those for whom your concession to a negative decision will result in losses and troubles.
This could be a husband, wife, children, parents, close relatives, friends.
It is not a fact that these people are the focus of power like some saints or spiritual masters, remembering whom even an ordinary person who does not have special subtlety of perception can unexpectedly feel a surge of power.
But images of your loved ones, who may be weaker than you, can awaken in us self-confidence and hidden mental resources, the conviction that we can and should protect them and we have no time for our petty selfish desires.
9. The method of observing desire with its subsequent transformation and replacement with the exact opposite.
If you feel that a destructive desire that is harmful to you has awakened inside you, sometimes it is better to immediately take some action that is beneficial for you and directly opposite.
For example, a person wants to go with friends to a restaurant, where there will certainly be serious alcoholic libations.
At this moment he can go somewhere to a fitness class, a swimming pool, or pick up a book that has been put off for a long time.
Before doing this, it is useful to do a few important things internally:
a) observe your desire from the outside, mentally see where it leads and internally disagree with it (with mental training, such mental methods can be very fast),
b) imagine within yourself that you are doing the exact opposite, positive action, that you want to do it,
c) stand up and perform this action.
A similar triad of observing a negative desire, deciding on a positive action through mental action, turning the decision into action will quickly weaken the power of your destructive desire.
But the main thing to remember is that he who knows how to conquer himself in general conquers himself in particular. You need to cultivate the habit of going through life through an upward path, when in each case you choose a positive path and make the right choice.
It is important not just to force yourself to do something opposite, but to transform the energy of desire itself.
Such transformation is achieved by close observation of one's desire.
You must learn to see your desire as energy.
This is not just about visualization, although imagining desire in images to control it is very useful: you simply replace one negative image with another, more positive one.
We are talking about understanding the energetic nature of desires.
Close observation of the play of desires changes their dynamics and brings forces of calm into the turbulent flow of energies and forces.
If you are very attentive, you will feel that observation is the control of the process: the chaos in desires decreases; they become calmer and more reasonable.
Conscious observation of a desire can completely dissolve it: in this case, all the power of the weakening and fading desire passes into the energy of the observer, strengthening the power of consciousness, which becomes more powerful and energetic.
We can talk about victory over desire when its trace has disappeared from the sensations of the body and when the obsessive mental images that attract the energy of desire have disappeared.
But all these are very subtle processes, essentially the alchemy of internal work, and it is not easy to learn this practice just like that.
The vast majority of psychologists are extremely far from this knowledge and skills, and in their practice they simply serve the wishes of clients, although this often destroys a person.
However, to those clients who wanted to master these methods, I tried to convey all the subtleties and nuances of the science of desire management.
Thoughtfulness and regularity of exercise works wonders: many clients have admitted that the obsessive demons of destructive desires have left them, but if they unexpectedly return, it will be easier to cope with them in life situations.
10. Repeated effort method.
Many people who have experienced a strong attraction to something harmful and cannot resist their capitulation to this attraction usually go to the end.
If a person breaks down in drinking, he goes on a binge; if he can’t resist and lights up, he again becomes a full-fledged smoker; if he gives free rein to his emotions in a conflict, he splashes out everything he thinks about his opponent and becomes his full-fledged enemy.
And so in everything, this is probably a feature of our national character.
But if you still want to overcome your destructive desires, try to get up immediately as soon as you fall.
Don't go down, stay at your level, and then start going up.
Learn not to crawl for pleasure and free yourself from harmful desires quickly.
The cultivated habit of immediately renewing efforts to free yourself from the power of desires will always be your friend and savior.
For situations when you really want to, but you can’t , these methods will be very useful, but they need to be remembered and worked through.
In order not to be tormented by the question of what to do when you really want to, but you can’t , you need to prepare for such situations in advance, train psychologically, learn to observe yourself, carry out some kind of preventative measures for your life, and think about the future.
If you don't work on your calm, you will find it difficult to implement any of the methods listed.
You can compare human life and such a factor as the speed of life with driving a car.
Control over desires, various kinds of psychological methods that we have considered - all these are ways to reduce your life speed.
Slowing down or staying calm allows you to turn and avoid a dangerous situation in time.
Start practicing conscious self-observation, you will become calmer in general and will be much less likely to find yourself in situations that provoke the emergence of strong uncontrollable situations.
Let's return once again to the topic of motivation for a person to work with his desires.
What is more pleasant - to satisfy your desires or to curb them in some way?
The question is unnecessary, especially since people prefer to get pleasure now rather than delay rewards until later.
They hope to avoid retribution and somehow get out.
In principle, this is the psychology of a criminal, and if we indulge our desires, we are all criminals, because we violate the laws of morality and harmony.
But still, why work on your desires?
Then, by following the most dangerous of them, we doom ourselves to pain and suffering, which significantly exceeds temporary joys both in intensity and duration.
Then, by conquering ourselves and training our will, we learn to experience more and more pleasure and joy, which are stronger than the pleasures of a sloth or a criminal (in the broad sense of the word).
Indeed, for athletes or climbers, the joy from overcoming efforts is much higher than the pleasures they receive from temptations and laziness.
Therefore, working on desires, defeating them (but in a smart way, without suppression, which is fraught with various breakdowns and explosions) is more useful and, by and large, more pleasant than becoming their slave.
Social Like
Mobilize all your resources
A difficult situation is not the time to relax and give up. On the contrary, you need to use all your hidden and dormant reserves. If, for example, you are suddenly faced with an acute shortage of money, you need to take an inventory of your skills and abilities for their potential profitability.
Are you fluent in English? Great, you can earn extra money by tutoring. Do you know how to fix computers? Why not do it for money.
It’s also not a sin to use external resources. These include useful acquaintances and connections.
Enlist the support of loved ones
As you know, friends are known in trouble. Now more than ever you need their support and participation.
“Sometimes the presence of another person, even silently, helps to cope with despair” (Marc Levy).
I absolutely agree with the author of the quote. Tell us about your problem and you will feel better. Most likely, your loved ones will offer to provide you with all possible help. Don't refuse, but don't take too much either. Don't forget to thank them warmly and, if possible, do something good for them in return.
20 more ideas on what to do if you're bored
It also happens when nothing comes to mind. There is no need to worry about this. In a world where the flight of information is calculated in gigabits, every second person faces similar difficulties. It’s better to just choose one of the twenty proposed options on how to get rid of boredom.
1. Getting to know each other is not difficult when you have the Internet. You can browse the most popular dating sites or even visit chatroulette, where there is no need to wait for a written response.
2. Going to the gym is an excellent solution for those who have no complexes about their physique. In the gym, you can also find new acquaintances.
3. Finding an interesting book is a great opportunity to exercise your imagination. Reading books is characterized by the speed of perception of the information received, and therefore the brain has the opportunity to form lasting impressions.
4. Learning how to make cocktails can be not only an interesting activity, but also useful when guests come to the house.
5. Inviting guests is a good opportunity to strengthen your connections with friends, unwind and get rid of boredom.
6. Create a page on a social network - this activity can last for several hours, but you won’t be bored.
7. Creating a slideshow or collage is one way to kill two birds with one stone: make your photo album presentable and immerse yourself in nostalgia.
8. Starting a video diary is convenient, useful, and most importantly, a video diary will convey your mood better than a notebook sheet.
9. Attend an online dance school lesson - learn new moves and help you stay popular on the dance floor. In addition, the learning process itself is quite a fun activity.
10. Going to nature is sometimes not just interesting, but also useful. Breathe the air freshly produced by the trees, admire the scenery and enjoy unity with the world.
11. Making a family tree is a very interesting activity. At such moments, a person understands how rich he is in loved ones and how important communication with them is.
12. Study the online notice board of your city - sometimes it’s interesting to find an expensive thing for little money. Often, a walk through such a site ends with a profitable purchase.
13. Watch something from the classic genre - it can make you admire the performance of great actors. However, it all depends on how far one goes into the classics. The very first works can boast only historical backgrounds.
14. Find a new hobby - it’s always interesting to learn something new. In this case, you definitely won’t be bored.
15. Reading palmistry may be interesting for people who believe that their fate is predetermined.
16. Paying attention to the house - sometimes, cleaning the house is not only useful, but also exciting, because when sorting out the trash, you often find forgotten, but favorite things. This will not only kill boredom, but also, in principle, a useful thing.
17. Keeping a notebook with the dates of birth of loved ones is very interesting, since in order to restore forgotten birthdays, you may need someone’s help. This means that boredom will have to be pushed into the background.
18. Clean your computer – tidying up your computer desktop is first of all useful, but the fun begins later when, while cleaning the desk, your attention turns to long-forgotten files.
19. Visit neighbors - in some cases, the hospitality of neighbors develops into pleasant gatherings over a cup of tea, so the company will not be superfluous when you are bored.
20. Having pets – well, it depends on the taste and color. If you want to drive silence out of the house, then you can get a parrot. When the soul is in the mood for affection, then a cat will do, and if a person is temperamental by nature, then there is no animal better than a dog. One thing is certain: it won’t be boring.
Take up meditation
In any unclear situation, meditate. This is truly a universal recommendation for all occasions. Meditation harmonizes the body and mind, trains attention and imaginative thinking, helps to take control of your emotions and put chaotic thoughts in order.
I offer you a ready-made meditation session on video - you can start with it.
If you are a religious person, you can combine meditation with prayer. Pray when you don’t know the answer to a question that worries you, when the situation seems hopeless.
Set a goal.
An important step in finding the answer to the question of how to live next is setting goals. They should not be abstract, visionary or vague. Memories of dreams that have been shelved for an indefinite period of time can help to identify and formulate them. It is dreams that at a turning point can become specific and real goals that need to be achieved here and now, and not in the distant future.
It is important to write down goals on a piece of paper, determining the priority, as well as the approximate time frame for achievement. The “last letter” technique will help you gather your thoughts. Its meaning is for a person to imagine that he will die tomorrow, and write in the last letter everything that he so wanted to accomplish before the fateful moment. This helps you concentrate, abstracting from pressure factors.
Take the self-esteem test
Don't let yourself go
Unfortunately, many people cannot withstand the onslaught of problems, give up and plunge into the abyss of despair. Against this background, motivation and the desire to take care of oneself disappear; a person may stop washing, cooking, or keeping order in the house.
If your condition is close to critical, and you are periodically visited by thoughts of death, read our article “What to do if you don’t want to live.”
Under no circumstances allow yourself such indulgences, even for a short time! On the contrary, now you need to show maximum care for the most important and dear person - yourself.
Think about what you would like that would help you take your mind off your painful thoughts at least a little. Sometimes even a bar of chocolate is enough to lift your spirits.
Throw away your pity
Self-pity is a destructive feeling that takes a lot of energy. In addition, it is fraught with a certain danger - a person can get used to being pitiful and even begin to receive certain benefits from it.
For example, many people live for years as unemployed on meager benefits from the state, without even trying to look for work. But it’s disrespect for yourself to admit that you’re good for nothing and are ready to be content with crumbs from someone else’s table.
No matter how difficult the situation may be, you must preserve the image of a strong person, first of all, for yourself.
When is an ambulance needed?
What to do when ribs are broken? Seek qualified medical help as soon as possible. Of course, in the case of a fracture of 1-2 ribs, the victim’s condition does not pose a threat to his life. However, it is impossible for a layman to determine whether the fracture has affected internal vital organs.
You should be alarmed by the following condition of the victim:
- Signs of suffocation gradually appear: it becomes increasingly difficult for a person to inhale and exhale air, the skin of his face and lips gradually take on a bluish tint.
- The victim notices extreme thirst, begins to complain of dizziness, or even loses consciousness.
- When he breathes or coughs, blood flows from his mouth.
In these cases, you should try to call an ambulance as soon as possible. The victim's life is in danger.
Take an example from the strong
If you don't know what to do in a particular situation, try to find a guideline. Surely there are people in your circle who command your respect and admiration. Ask what they would do if they were in your place. If there are none, remember famous personalities or movie characters whose fortitude excites the imagination. Maybe as a child you dreamed of becoming someone - Superman, Spider-Man, RoboCop? Try to imagine what they would do in a similar situation, how they would behave.
I advise you to watch motivational films whose main characters have faced serious life difficulties:
- "The Shawshank Redemption";
- "Men";
- "The Pursuit of Happyness";
- “Three colors: white”;
- “Deaf span.”
Take a trip back in time
I borrowed this exercise from the arsenal of NLP practices. The first thing you need to do is go back in time. Remember some difficult situation that happened to you several years ago. Let it not be inferior to the current one in terms of the intensity of emotions and the degree of despair. Try to relive all the feelings that you experienced then.
Now return to the present. How do you feel about that problem now? There is not a trace left of the former bright negative emotions, is there?
Now it's time to move into the future. Imagine yourself a year from now. Turn on your imagination to the maximum - the image should be alive and realistic. From this image, look back at your current problem, which by then will have already been resolved. Surely now it doesn’t seem so global to you. Gradually return to the “here and now” state, trying to maintain that “cold”, slightly distant look.
To not give up.
A person learns the ability to lose and start over throughout his life. When mastering this craft, it is important to remember that you can always give up, and struggle is the choice of the strong. You need to look at the current situation from the other side, critically assessing your actions, actions and decisions. Such an analysis will prevent wrong steps in the future. Every attempt is an opportunity to improve. Stopping means giving up success.
If you follow the advice given, the answer to the question of how to continue to live will appear on its own. You just need to realize that any finish is always a start and there are no hopeless situations. And every turning point is a test of strength and readiness to meet well-deserved happiness. Having passed it, each person is an undoubted winner.
Take a depression test
Take action
Let the mental part end here; it’s time to get down to business. If you don’t know what to do, you need to start doing at least something - do a general cleaning of the house, dig up the garden, prepare food. Only with the help of active actions can you distract yourself from painful thoughts and experiences that consume energy.
“If you feel discouraged, seek healing in work” (Abraham Lincoln).
If you have no desire to do something, you need to force yourself to work through willpower. Usually the hardest thing is to start, but then you get hooked and don’t want to stop.
Do you also feel sad in the evenings and even experience depression?
21+ I'm looking for 5 people with constant bouts of depression who want to live happily
You are constantly sad, especially in the evenings, there’s just a terrible melancholy in your soul...
You have constant states of depression, just like I had for 7 years...
You think that in order to live, you need to be sad, it turns out to be “masochism”
If you recognize yourself, follow the link and I’ll send you the details!
Get detailed information
Ice cream
Where would we be without ice cream? Even in foreign films they show when people are sad they eat ice cream with spoons straight from the cans. The method is good, but it greatly affects the figure. Therefore, you can eat a couple of glasses, but you shouldn’t abuse them.
Movie
Favorite movie. You can be sad, or you can be happy. In any case, it will play a positive benefit for you. A positive film will lead to a positive state, and a sad film will lead to even greater sadness, and then the psyche will independently enter a neutral state, from where it will be easier to become positive through an effort of will.
What to do to avoid driving yourself into sadness?
To make yourself sad, delete Instagram and don’t look at your VK feed. All these photos that are posted from resorts, with expensive cars, from fitness centers are not always reliable. The less you look at other people's photos and achievements, the less sadness you feel. Really, delete Instagram. Compare yourself only to yourself.
Read more: What is intuition and how to develop it
Go to the store
For girls, go to the store, buy a few clothes, that's enough. You don’t have to change your entire wardrobe, you won’t have enough money.
For men, going to the store is also suitable, buying something for a car, or for moonshine. And in general, you can always buy a moonshine still or a brewery, get started in the new year and there will be no time to be sad.
Go to the cinema
This is the usual advice: go to the cinema; suddenly they are showing something interesting today. For example, I haven’t been to the cinema for a long time, I’m probably not sad about life much, although sometimes it happens. You can choose any film, they look different in the cinema, be it good or bad. Even if the film is bad, you still won’t want to go home halfway through the film. Although who am I kidding, this also happens.
Play games.
Nowadays there is a lot of entertainment, just download a game on your smartphone and you will be happy. Just enough to distract yourself from sadness and everything will be fine. You can download an old game to your computer, such as SIMS 3 and so on. To be nostalgic
Meditations
In every article I write about meditation, since they are a real, practical way to achieve any level of state that is necessary. If you need to be positive, there will be positive, if you need to be negative, there will be negative and that’s it. What is meditation and how to meditate correctly.
Get some sleep
Good and proper sleep is the main key to success for people who want to always be energetic, earn good money and be in good shape. During sleep, our energy is restored, our muscles and brain rest. If you sleep well and correctly, then you will be sad very rarely.
✅Guide to changing yourself .pdf
