30.06.2018
The emotion of anger involves deliberately causing harm to the source of anger. If the reasons for aggression towards such a source are known, the behavior of the aggressor becomes understandable to us, and if manifestations of anger are unprovoked and arise out of the blue, then they are regarded as strange. From childhood, we learn to control our anger and address it exclusively to the provocateur of such an emotion. Depending on this, we have character traits such as restraint or hot temper.
Reasons for anger
Anger is a basic human emotion that was originally necessary for the individual to survive. However, due to the development of society, the need to express one’s negative emotions has gradually decreased, and humanity has not been able to completely get rid of anger. Unfortunately, in the modern world, people still continue to create artificial troubles for themselves, which encourage them to express this kind of discontent.
The cause of strong anger is often aggression, which accumulates due to various circumstances. Even a simple trifle, or fear, which can also be the cause of this emotion, can often lead to this negative emotion.
Anger is a state of both physiological and psychological. In principle, its manifestation is attributed to the normal reaction of the individual’s psyche to an external stimulus. It is accompanied by increased heart rate, pallor or redness of the skin due to the body producing a huge amount of energy that needs to be put somewhere.
There are no people who never experience negative emotions and are always in a balanced state. Anything can throw you off balance: traffic jams, an unfair boss, children's pranks, bad weather, etc.
Anger and anger often pass without serious destructive consequences for the individual and his environment, but if during unexpected attacks of anger a person causes suffering or pain to those around him, then this indicates an inability to control his emotional outbursts and manifestations of aggression.
One of the main causes of anger is frustration, which is caused by interference and numerous obstacles that prevent a person from moving towards a goal. The obstacle that causes frustration can be either another individual or external circumstances.
In a fit of anger, the individual's actions are often aimed at removing the obstacle through verbal or physical attack. Also, the reason for this behavior of a person may be a clear physical threat to him.
Another cause of anger can be someone’s statements or actions that make a person feel morally affected.
Refusal, insult, demonstration of disrespect for feelings - all this can cause indignation and negative emotions in an individual. Moreover, the stronger the emotional attachment to the person causing moral discomfort, the more painful the experience and the brighter the anger from such actions.
A person's anger will be most intense if he is brought to the point of nervous exhaustion.
Manifestation of the emotion of anger in the eyebrows, eyelids and eyes
If an emotion is not read in all three areas of the face, then it cannot be identified. The eyebrows expressing anger are lowered and drawn together. Their line with such an emotion can be characterized by either a break at an upward angle or its absence when the line goes down.
Wrinkles, characteristic of the emotion of anger, are formed between the eyebrows by bringing their inner corners together. It is worth noting that wrinkles in the forehead, so common for fear or surprise, never form in an angry person. Only permanent wrinkles may be visible on the forehead.
Angry eyebrows are complemented by angry eyes and mouth, but if the eyebrows alone speak of anger on the face, then such an expression can be regarded as:
- the desire to cope with the emotions bursting through a person, strict self-control;
- mild irritation, initial manifestation of anger;
- serious state of mind;
- concentration and concentration;
- desire to make an emphasis during a conversation.
The eyelids of an angry man are tense. His gaze is fixed and conveys harshness to the addressee. If the lower eyelids are tense from tension, then the upper ones are somewhat lowered due to angry eyebrows, so the upper part of the eye seems limited.
The alliance of angry eyebrows and eyes without the participation of an angry mouth, as mentioned above, is not clearly interpreted as the emotion of anger. Such a face can express both increasing irritation and extreme concentration.
Anger management
A negative emotion arises when a situation develops in such a way that something does not suit a person and there is a feeling that it can be dealt with.
Anger grows up to a certain point, after which there is either a decline until it calms down, or a sharp jump upward, manifested in the form of attacks of rage. There is such a stable expression - “choked with anger.” This condition is characterized by compression of the nerves and shortness of breath. Negative emotional outbursts during this state are always marked by a desire for physical activity: to destroy, fight, run, jump, clench your hands into fists, break. At a moment of strong anger, a bursting wave of indignation in a person, caused by an emotional outburst of dissatisfaction, rises from the pelvis upward, reaching the chest. This condition will be characterized by a hoarse, choked voice, a feeling of constriction in the chest, and coughing.
People treat the occurrence of instant anger, which is beyond a person’s control, naturally and not reprehensibly, but actions that are committed under the influence of this emotion are already condemned.
Managing anger in moments of aggression can be almost impossible, since a person, being in a state of passion, often does not understand what he is doing. At this time, it will be better if there is no one next to such an individual, since a person in aggression with a clouded mind poses a danger and can harm and even cripple the people around him.
Anger and aggression often do not last long and are short-lived. An individual in such a state quickly “boils” and also quickly “fades away.”
It is believed that if the emotion of anger is caused by a sense of justice at the time of a criminal act, then this is commendable. In other cases, negative emotion is condemned and people are advised to be more restrained and be patient.
There are interesting facts about this emotion. Male anger is perceived as a manifestation of strength, and female similar behavior is treated as irrationality and weakness.
Anger and rage are among the most dangerous emotional outbursts. When a person experiences these emotions, he often deliberately causes harm to other people, often losing control over himself, so skillfully managing anger and rage should be the primary task of individuals when negative emotions arise.
Adult personalities are often characterized by how they are able to cope with their resentment and are given the following definitions: hot, restrained, explosive, cold-blooded, hot-tempered.
Manifestations of anger are marked by specific facial expressions:
- bare teeth, open mouth in height when inhaling;
- knitted, lowered eyebrows;
- widened eyes and focused attention on the object of aggression;
- horizontal folds on the bridge of the nose;
- expansion of the wings of the nose.
Aggression (anger, anger, rage) through the eyes of a psychoanalyst.
Although, probably, a more correct title for this article would be: “Anger, anger and fury. What is the difference?"
Often in ordinary life, people consider these words to be synonyms and do not see any significant difference between them, although there is, of course, a difference. And sometimes it turns out to be quite significant. In fact, the psychological meaning of anger and rage turns out to be almost the opposite.
Let's see why this is so:
Aggression is an integral part of human nature. It helps us adapt to the surrounding reality.
I think it’s not worth saying that without aggression, both an individual person and all of humanity as a whole would not have survived.
In general psychology, aggression is understood as behavior, a form of communication, “actions” that cause various harm to oneself or others.
Psychologists distinguish many types of aggression: verbal and nonverbal, indirect and direct, open and suppressed, passive and active, constructive and destructive. It is important to understand that approaching a person on the street and asking how long it is is also aggression, albeit constructive. We can receive hidden verbal aggression from her: “You need to have your own watch!” Or passive: Silence, ignoring or other behavior, a contemptuous look, for example. And all this will be a different form of aggression.
But, as we know, the motor for our behavior is feelings. The main feelings behind aggression and are its parts are anger, rage, rage and hatred.
Now let's look at the nature of these feelings and try to understand the difference.
At its core, anger is suppressed displaced anger (or rage). Anger can either boil inside a person, and then we can only observe coldness, detachment, ignoring, arrogance, contempt and disregard for others, or it can pour out in the form of abuse, screaming, breaking dishes, accusations and squabbles.
Anger releases mental tension and provides quick but temporary relief if expressed openly. If this does not happen, anger accumulates as a heavy load of resentment, develops into psychosomatics, deforms character, and remains in a depressed state.
The only thing that is important to note is that the emotions of anger and all other passive aggressive feelings lead nowhere, do not change anything in a person’s life, except that they worsen his health and quality of life.
Anger can be compared to an engine idling at high speed. The engine roars, but the car stands still. To make this metaphor more understandable, I will give a couple of examples. One from everyday life, and the other from clinical practice.
Example A.
A woman gets to work in the city on a crowded bus, swears at the work of public transport, and almost every day comes into conflict with other passengers. It almost comes to fights. She is filled with anger and splashes it over the edge every day. But he continues to ride the same bus every day. Nothing in life changes.
If she could allow herself to get really angry, she would be able to think about why she was putting herself in this situation and find a way out of it. Angry, she could start working better, move up the career ladder, buy herself a car, or cooperate with neighbors who commute into the city to work.
When aggression ceases to be passive, it helps us begin to think and act. But the question still remains: why anger? Why does this woman put herself in this situation every day? Let’s say she has an elderly mother sitting at home, who gets on her nerves, “forbids” her to arrange her personal life, demands and controls.
This, of course, is exhausting and causes anger, but it turns out to be impossible to be angry with her sick elderly mother, who is the central figure of her inner world. Then the anger is suppressed and shifted to another object (people on the bus), turning into righteous anger, which makes it possible to relieve excess tension and not change anything in your situation.
If this woman were not so emotionally dependent on her mother, who was more mature and had support within herself, she could allow herself to be angry with her. Anger could, for example, be expressed in one calmly spoken phrase: “I am looking after you as best I can, and I will build my personal life, and if this does not suit you, you can move to a nursing home.”
Anger in this situation is a more mature feeling, suggesting an internal readiness for action and change, aimed at protecting oneself. Perhaps, in this situation, things would not have come to a real separation, and the relationship would have had a chance to change, to let a third person into the house - a man.
Example B.
A 42-year-old woman came to therapy for an unfavorable family situation. And during psychotherapy, she was constantly late, often tried to forget to pay for the session, and could miss the session without warning.
This was her passive aggression towards me (as a father figure who sets the rules). She was not aware of this aggression. She sometimes found therapy completely useless, but as in the family situation, feeling dependent and helpless, she held on to it.
Over time, she was able to understand her anger, and most importantly, its reasons (envy and hatred of her father, the need for control), and gradually began to express her aggression towards me in words. This happened when unconscious trust became more stable.
Anger turned to anger. She was able to openly talk about how she was annoyed by the rules of therapy and was annoyed by my appearance (reminiscent of my father’s appearance). After that, her lateness and absences stopped. The therapeutic relationship became more open and trusting. It allowed her to see herself in a different light. Thanks to the open expression of feelings, family relationships began to gradually improve.
So. We have come to the point that when futile anger, which maintains a dependent position, turns into anger, as a readiness to act, the situation begins to change.
It is important to say that anger and hatred, paradoxically, lie at the basis of love.
If hatred does not lead to destruction, this strong emotional charge helps people understand each other and get closer, find common points of contact, and feel mutual penetration into each other’s emotional world.
It’s not for nothing that people say: “Former enemies can become best friends.”
Anger, if kept within acceptable limits, brings people together and changes the situation.
“I’m angry with you - that means I’m not indifferent to you.”
Anger, as a rule, implies an aspect of dissatisfaction with oneself, a willingness to change oneself. In essence, anger is a readiness for internal actions and decisions.
In the Soviet education system, anger was considered a bad feeling. She was not accepted. “You can’t be angry with your parents. If you are angry, we will not love you." This forced the child to endure, to suppress his anger, turning it into helpless anger, destroying himself, and latently spoiling all relationships.
A psychologically healthy child has the opportunity to say: “Mom, I hate you.” And receive a smile from your mother in response, and the words: “Yes, you’re angry with me for this and that...”
Anger is the feeling that promotes separation - psychological separation, which is necessary for the development of an independent mature personality.
One of the main tasks of psychoanalytic therapy is the integration of aggression in relation, the transformation of anger into anger.
Anger is accepted and tolerated by the analyst until the trust is formed to express one’s aggression towards him in words. This helps to understand the unconscious causes of anger and gain a new, more favorable experience of expressing aggression.
There is a rule in psychoanalysis: “All feelings should be expressed in words, and not reacted in actions.”
If the anger is reacted to in action (cutting off therapy: Why am I going to pay money, waste time being angry? Or get a divorce instead of making an effort to improve the relationship, being prepared for any outcome) then the anger becomes impossible to integrate into the relationship. This is approximately the same as releasing all the steam from a locomotive through a whistle, which this locomotive should begin to move.
In this article we must pay special attention to the affect of rage.
Rage is an extremely powerful feeling. Its psychological meaning is that the baby can remove obstacles in his path. The furious cry of a baby is difficult to bear; it forces the mother to change her behavior towards the child.
In essence, rage is a defense against feelings of despair and helplessness. The manifestation of rage leads to the satisfaction of vital needs (with rage we are always talking about the frustration of vital needs), and the rage weakens and turns into constructive anger.
If the obstacle turns out to be insurmountable, then the feeling of despair and powerlessness turns the aggressive impulse into passive, helpless anger.
It is important to note that in the course of psychotherapy we make the reverse path: from anger through rage to anger. In psychoanalysis, we call the manifestation of rage an “affective storm.”
The best thing we can do for a person is to endure it. As a rule, after rage, anger no longer seems so dangerous and can be integrated into the relationship.
Author of the article: Dmitry Basov
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