How to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone: 7 Steps

Comfort zone and how to get out of it

Comfort zone is a living space in which we feel safe. Usually these are not physical, but psychological boundaries, going beyond which is associated with discomfort.

We build our comfort zone from habits, patterns and stereotypes. We feel comfortable living in the predictable world of our own delusions, but the longer we stay in it, the more difficult it becomes to step outside. Any unusual action frightens and upsets. We forget that in the outside world not only troubles await us, but also exciting adventures, discoveries and unknown sensations.

When we live, as they say, “on autopilot,” this is being in the comfort zone. We mechanically repeat habitual actions and know exactly their results. While the hands are working, the personality is dozing, for whom it is dangerous to constantly remain in the vicious circle of habitual work and habitual rest. Our personality is degrading under such an established regime, and we must not allow this!

What is a comfort zone in psychology?

There are boundaries within us within which we feel good and feel safe. It is precisely these internal frameworks that force us to cling to those relationships that have long outlived their usefulness, to positions and jobs that are not only uninteresting to us, but also do not bring normal income.

These internal boundaries create a comfort zone. Let's figure out what it is?

The comfort zone in psychology is an area of our living space that gives us a feeling of security. Usually it is determined by habitual behavior, what is comfortable is what you are used to. It's good in a world where everything is stable, familiar and predictable.

Essentially, this is the state in which we feel comfortable. It would seem, what's wrong with that? Of course, nothing. Besides the fact that this greatly slows down the development of something new and unknown.

To achieve something and do something, you need to get out of your comfort zone. Learning always involves going beyond its boundaries.

Beyond the comfort zone comes the risk zone. A prerequisite for personal development is going beyond the boundaries of comfort.

Typically, young people are more willing to expand their comfort zone. If an ordinary person lingers in it for too long and does not do anything to expand it, then personal development stops there and degradation begins.

This definition makes it clear that if we are interested in development, we will inevitably have to overcome these boundaries.

Boundaries of personal space

The personal space of each person includes two components - physical and psychological. If we are talking about communication at the non-verbal level, then the boundaries of our personal comfort zone will be determined by the degree of familiarity with the person with whom we are communicating and the level of trust in him. Based on this, there are several zones of personal space:

Intimate zone . Approximately 15 to 45 cm (less than arm's length). Designed for communication with the closest people: family, friends. When this zone is violated by a stranger, anxiety and psychological discomfort often arise. Blood pressure may rise and pulse may increase.
Personal zone . It ranges from approximately 50 cm to 1.5 m. Designed for communication with familiar people: colleagues, partners, classmates, friends. Allows communication not only about business and tasks, but also about personal life.
Social zone . It ranges from approximately 1.5 to 4 m. Designed for contacts with strangers, promotes a sense of psychological security. It is not recommended to violate it, because Other people's reaction to this can be very different - from misunderstanding to fear.
Public area . Is more than 4m. Designed for communication with large groups of people and audiences, suitable for business meetings, meetings, seminars, lectures, trainings, etc.

If we are talking about the psychological component of the personal comfort zone, then it is a variable value, and it is influenced by the individual characteristics of each individual person. The following indicators can influence psychological boundaries:

Character type . As you know, there are extroverts and introverts. The first ones are open and can easily share their personal space with others, even with strangers. Due to their character traits, they often violate the comfort zone of those with whom they communicate. Introverts, on the contrary, are more closed and are more comfortable maintaining a distance from people. They do not like it when their personal space is violated, and they themselves do not invade the space of others.
Level of self-confidence . Confident people almost never violate the personal space of other people (they don’t come too close, they don’t check their husbands’ and wives’ SMS and emails, they use tact in their communication, etc.). Insecure people with low self-esteem, on the contrary, are more likely to violate the comfort zone of others, and also allow their own zone to be invaded, being unable to psychologically defend themselves.
Location . People living in big cities and exposed to social stress (pressure from a large number of people) have narrower boundaries of personal space. In other words, in order to feel comfortable, they need more “free” space around them. And people living in small towns, where almost everyone knows each other, have wider boundaries of personal space, and they are more calm when someone is too close to them.
Family . There are families where the concept of personal space is almost completely absent. Growing up in such conditions, people get used to frank communication, as a result of which the boundaries of their personal space are wider. But in a number of cases, people who grew up in such families can carelessly invade the space of others, completely disregarding them. There are families where it is customary to observe etiquette and a sense of tact. Children from such families have narrower boundaries of their personal comfort zone and will never violate the personal space of others “without asking.”
Culture . Cultural and national characteristics also seriously influence the boundaries of personal space. For example, in Eastern and some Asian countries it is acceptable to communicate while being almost close to the interlocutor. In European countries and, for example, in the USA, this will be considered the height of indecency, because... The traditions and cultural features there are completely different.

It is important to note that invasion of personal space does not always indicate that a psychological attack is being made on you. So, a person may be a representative of a different culture or simply have no idea what a personal comfort zone is. But there are also people who violate these boundaries intentionally, pursuing the goal of asserting themselves, suppressing, insulting, spoiling the mood, showing who is the “boss” here, etc.

Violation of personal space can be expressed in different forms. Some get too close or start conversations on inappropriate topics, others calmly take other people's things and litter someone else's workplace, others may grab a sleeve or put a hand on a shoulder, start waving their arms or hovering menacingly over the table. There are many options.

But it doesn’t matter whether someone violates your personal comfort zone out of ignorance or deliberately wants to piss you off or scare you, you must be able to protect yourself and your personal space. Although in most cases you will strive to maintain boundaries subconsciously, there are several effective techniques that will help you do this more successfully.

How to determine the situation of being in your comfort zone for too long?

First, let's figure out how we can understand that we are overly stuck in our comfort zone. You will understand this by your own reaction to some new situation or circumstances. Perhaps you have only just thought about it, but it already causes fear in you. I would like to note that the first reaction can be very different: anxiety, stress, fear, curiosity, interest. However, it is fear that indicates that your comfort zone is comfortable for you - you do not want to leave it.

Further, several options for the development of events are possible: ignore, be indignant, run away and hide, resist, not allowing changes.

However, to expand your zone, you need to accept everything new and adapt to it.

Awareness

Psychologists say that life begins exactly where the comfort zone ends. To get out of it, you need to understand that you have been there for too long, as if suspended in this state. Until we ourselves recognize this fact, we will not be able to move anywhere. The important point is the very acceptance of this thought. There must also be a desire, an understanding that you simply need to break out of this situation.

The comfort zone in psychology covers absolutely all areas of life. This could be a relationship that doesn’t suit us, a business, an unnecessary and unloved job, a house, a city. All this is in our usual zone, but it has not suited us for a long time, however, fearing change, we sit and do nothing to change something in our lives.

My tips

Discomfort is associated with unmet needs, suppressed desires and emotions. You need to understand where you have been suppressing yourself for a long time. You can look into the subconscious through introspection. Identify the negative feeling you are experiencing and start asking yourself questions:

What do I experience at the level of thoughts and body, how do I feel this feeling?
Why do I have this feeling?
What and who is around me when this feeling arises?
How often do I experience this feeling?
How does this feeling help me?
How does this feeling bother me?

Exercises and training

If a person is afraid of something, then he must certainly do it, this is the opinion of many psychologists. Having determined what a comfort zone is and once expanded it, we must develop the habit and ability to correctly exit it in any situation. And to do this, you need to overcome the fear of something new.

There are special exercises for these purposes:

You need to start by changing the usual little things. For example, change your daily schedule, take a different route, shop in a new store, buy unusual products.
Meeting a new person is a great way to get out of a comfortable state.
Next, you can learn something that you couldn’t do before. Embroider, knit, cook a new dish, play the guitar.
Watch a movie or read a book in a genre that is not typical for you.
Go on an unplanned trip, everything should be impromptu, without any preliminary preparations. You will get many new impressions, and expand your comfort zone.
Visit a new place. For example, a new restaurant with cuisine that is unusual for you.
Wear new things, things that you wouldn’t risk wearing before. These can be extraordinary styles and colors.
Then you can start rearranging the furniture. Refresh your room with a new interior.
Take a minibus ride along a previously unfamiliar path.
And finally, come up with your own simulators - situations.

Five steps to liberation

Step one – Statement of the problem

Any path begins with a choice of direction and the first step. We need to decide where we want to come and why. The tasks can be very different. For example, you understand that you have problems with communication, you cannot contact new people and this constrains you. This means that you should get to know each other as often as possible, initiate communication and make it familiar, that is, comfortable.

Step two - What and how much do you want?

The next stage is the specification of the task. Determine the deadline and result. Typically, the result can be measured by numbers, facts, ratings and other clear criteria. This way you can understand how completely you completed the task. You should also outline an action plan.

If you decide that your task is to overcome communication difficulties, you can focus on the state of confidence when making new acquaintances, but it is impossible to measure this result in numbers. Therefore, we suggest setting a certain number of acquaintances per month. You may not immediately feel comfortable with your new lifestyle, but you will definitely see progress. The trick to this technique is that you will switch from experiencing your own state to working on completing the task and gradually develop the desired skill. Any new skill requires effort, so let’s get to work.

Step Three – Work

Perform planned actions systematically without deviating from the plan. It is best to write reports to yourself daily and analyze the results of your work

Step Four – More Work

Yes, working on yourself is not easy. Get ready for the fact that difficulties await you on the way to expanding your comfort zone, and you won’t be able to achieve results with lightning speed. Don't try to jump quickly to the desired level. Sometimes this works, but more often a familiar, persistent feeling of fear arises, driving you back into your comfort zone. Don’t try to bite off too big a piece; move towards the goal slowly, getting comfortable with each new milestone. This will take time, but the result will be sustainable.

New habits are established within 21 days, and it will take us the same amount of time. We need to achieve a feeling of comfort at each new stage, then we will be able to “trample down” for ourselves a large and comfortable field for a balanced existence.

Step five – Development of “new lands”

One day we will definitely understand that yesterday’s risk zone has become a comfort zone, and we can explore new territories. This will be a victory.

Brian Tracy

The name of Brian Tracy is widely known in psychology. He is considered a global expert on success. He developed his own system for achieving it, and did this at the age of twenty-five. Since then, Tracy has written many books on psychology. He continues to work today, conducting trainings and consultations.

What else is Brian Tracy famous for? Comfort zone is one of the themes he has been working on. His book “Get Out of Your Comfort Zone” is entirely devoted to this topic. In it, he talks about twenty-one ways to increase personal effectiveness. Of course, his works deserve attention.

Instead of an afterword

When we talk about a comfort zone, we do not mean those external circumstances that are convenient for a person, but we mean internal life boundaries, existing within which people feel safe. A sofa, massage, coffee give a feeling of comfort to one person, and can take another person who is not used to it out of the zone of calm. All these objects are alien to him.

A state of comfort is not always useful. People tend to get bogged down in unnecessary circumstances and relationships, but out of habit, they feel quite comfortable and do not risk changing anything in their lives, fearing that these changes will not lead to anything good.

Beyond the boundaries of the comfort zone there is a zone of risk, possible trials and dangers. Not everyone is consciously ready to leave their usual comfort and find themselves in unpleasant conditions. However, only in this way can a person develop. He definitely needs to leave his comfort zone from time to time, but he just needs to learn how to do it correctly without harming himself. Gradually expanding the zone for himself, he will certainly be in it. You can't stay in an uncomfortable state all the time. Having learned to adapt, a person more easily masters new areas of activity. Getting out of your comfort zone is useful; it is a kind of shake-up and incentive for further action and development.