Cheating in numbers - statistics on infidelity in men and women

In recent years, cases of infidelity by one of the spouses in a marriage have become more frequent. Moreover, statistics indicate an increase in infidelity not only among men, but also among women. Sociologists and psychologists conduct population surveys and research to understand the characteristics of female infidelity. They found out how often women cheat, what reasons push them to take this step, and which wives are predisposed to cheat. The data is surprising, but at the same time it helps to take a sober look at modern society.

What percentage of women cheat

According to statistics, it became known that 41% of married women violated the oath of fidelity. 8% of them experienced infidelity only once, and did not repeat it in the future. But most women who cheated once, after a while again found a relationship on the side, often long-term.

How long does the connection last on the side:

• 25% of women surveyed admitted to infidelities that lasted up to six months;
• 60% had an affair with other partners for no more than a month;
• 15% indicated one-time relationships.

Sociologists annually study various aspects of family life, including how often women cheat in marriage depending on their country of residence.

Types of adultery

Dr. Gediminas Navaitis, one of the most famous psychologists, conventionally divided adultery into three types:

1. Casual extramarital contact is associated with a one-time sexual relationship or a short-term relationship. These are the so-called drunken infidelities, unexpected adventures on a business trip or at an alumni meeting.
2. Erotic-sexual adventures . This type of extramarital affairs is caused by the desire to experience novelty in sexual relations
   .
   This type of relationship does not last long and is not dangerous for family relationships, since the priority of the family and the spouse remains paramount. Such connections are terminated in case of danger of exposure
   . As the statistics of female infidelities show, new relationships at the resort give ladies “over 40” unforgettable impressions and a boost of energy for the year ahead.
3. Direct betrayal , which is characterized by the duration of the relationship and the formation of emotional dependence on the partner. Existing statistics on betrayal in marriage indicate that it is precisely this kind of relationship that has a destructive effect on the family.

Statistics on infidelity in Russia

Our country occupies a leading place in the world in the number of divorces due to infidelity. The state is ahead of Belarus, Ukraine, and the Netherlands. Moreover, 90% of marriages break up within the first year after the start of family life.

It is worth noting that the statistics of women’s infidelity in Russia differs from the global one. Research shows that 25% of Russian women cheat on their husbands, and among men this figure is three times higher - 75%.

In Russia, they still consider male infidelity to be the norm, and female infidelity a disgrace.

The indicators depend on the historical aspect, due to which the difference in attitude towards infidelity between men and women is formed. Traditionally, women’s responsibility was to arrange the home and “keep the hearth”, and the man, being the breadwinner, had more freedom, including in the sphere of love.

In other countries

Researchers who conducted surveys in European countries say that women cheat on their spouses more often than their spouses:

• In England, 46% of women cheat, and only 26% of men.
• in Germany, out of 3,000 residents surveyed, 100% cheated at least once during their entire married life. Moreover, 80% of them had vivid love experiences with their lovers. This indicates that the connections were not random, but were of a long-term nature.
• Italian women cheat less than their spouses - 34% versus 55% for men.
• In eastern countries, cheating is treated more strictly, which is why rates of cheating among women are the lowest - only 3%.

How often wives cheat on their husbands is evidenced not only by survey statistics, but also by the frequency of requests to detective agencies with similar questions. The percentages of such requests are similar in the countries of the USA, Europe, and Russia. Although suspicions are not always justified.

Female infidelity cannot be forgiven

Many men cheat on their wives only mentally or in correspondence on social networks, without daring to take such a step in reality. The reason is the reluctance to destroy the usual, established life. This is why, according to statistics, only 3% of men are able to leave their family and start a new family with their mistress.

But women, especially those who are self-sufficient, independent, standing firmly on their own two feet, are more likely to decide on an affair on the side. At the same time, women hide their infidelities better than men. The reason, most likely, is that in most cases, women who have lost interest in their spouses cheat on their husbands.

How to protect your family from adultery The answer to this question is worthy of creating a separate article, it is too complex and voluminous a topic. But the main secrets of a happy marriage are not tricky. To tie her husband to herself, a woman must remain interesting to her husband even after 10, 20 or 50 years of marriage.

What makes you cheat on your husband?

With the help of sociological surveys and honest women, we were able to determine the most common reasons for infidelity among wives:

1. New love – 20% . For women in external relationships, emotional return plays an important role. Falling in love or even falling in love with a new person can turn a lady’s head so much that she forgets about all the rules of decency.
2. Dissatisfaction in bed – 13%. If a woman systematically does not receive pleasure in bed, she will think about finding a lover who will fill this need. Moreover, you need to focus specifically on the quality, and not the quantity, of sexual intercourse.
3. Revenge – 11% . Most often this happens after the husband cheats. Out of emotion, a woman can commit an impulsive and desperate act, which she often regrets later. Interestingly, among men, betrayal for revenge is much less common - only 1%.
4. Long separation from spouse – 10% . We are talking about business trips and shift work, when the wife can live alone for several months.
5. Low self-esteem – 7% . Self-doubt can be innate or develop during marriage. With the help of infidelity, a woman proves to herself that she is still capable of pleasing someone other than her husband.
6. Spontaneous betrayal – 6% . Usually occurs during corporate events, parties and holiday gatherings. Fun, a festive mood and alcohol reduce barriers, and agreeing to a romantic adventure becomes easier. Usually these are one-time infidelities, because of which women often feel shame and guilt.
7. Routine, everyday life, monotony – 6% . The desire to add at least a little variety to the drab everyday life can push you into the arms of a persistent suitor. After all, a romantic story like in a movie will help you feel alive again and take you out of the cycle of household chores. Usually wives who do not have interesting hobbies and outlets in life go for this.

There is one more known fact that can encourage betrayal. During the period of ovulation, girls become emotional and flighty. This occurs due to high levels of estrogen in the blood, which is responsible for procreation. Estrogen pushes representatives of the fair half of humanity to search for a more suitable gene carrier that can help in procreation. If a woman is married, then subconsciously she still tries to find a better candidate than the previous one.

Genetic predisposition

The University of Queensland researched why wives cheat on their husbands. In the course of their work, they discovered that the cause of female infidelity lies in a DNA gene called AVPR1A. The carrier of this gene has a predisposition to love affairs. Moreover, it actively acts in the body of both sexes.

...the cause of female infidelity lies in a gene called AVPR1A.

Australian scientists tested couples who were in long-term relationships. A test for the presence of the gene in the blood and its influence on human behavior showed that wives were more likely to cheat when it was present than when it was absent. Statistics on female infidelity show that within a year, 18% of women with the Avpria gene cheated on their spouses. The percentage of cheating men with this gene is 22%.

Married relationships

As a rule, marriage is concluded for long-term interaction with the creation of a common household and the birth of children. By entering into a union, young people have their own idea of ​​family life

. Often it is copied (consciously or unconsciously) from the relationship between father and mother. The state of falling in love gives idealistic confidence in the inviolability of relationships and the endless brightness of sensations from a partner.

With the emergence of everyday needs and interactions in everyday life, spouses lose part of the attractiveness that once attracted them to each other. A. Chekhov wrote in his satirical stories that a wife is a bride, half erased by censorship.

Adultery occurs due to disharmony in the family, dissatisfaction of one or both spouses with the actions of the other or the personal characteristics of the partners. For this reason, the compatibility of partners is of great importance, which depends on:

• level of education and culture;
• mental and social maturity;
• similarities in value systems;
• similarities in behavioral styles;
• sexual compatibility.

If the spouses do not immediately assume an “open” type of relationship with freedom of sexual relations, then the first crisis of family relationships with “leaving to the left” can occur during the wife’s pregnancy or with the birth of a child.

Which women cheat most often?

Psychologists interviewed representatives of different social status, with different life experiences and character. They were interested in whether women want to cheat on their spouses, why and what pushes them to take this step. Based on their results, they concluded that there are a number of factors that increase the chances of cheating. All of them relate to unmet needs.

A wife may think about extramarital affairs if:

• plays the role of head of the family;
• feelings for your spouse have faded;
• I saw my mother cheating as a child;
• more experienced in bed than her husband;
• is going through a critical period in life;
• does not feel supported by her husband;
• decides to reciprocate a persistent admirer;
• she is a feminist;
• desire for independence from her husband.

But the most common reason for cheating among spouses is coldness in the relationship. If heart-to-heart conversations, joint activities, mutual respect and understanding have disappeared, in such a family they may think about another partner.

Critical age

British scientists conducted a study by studying data from the dating site IllicitEncounters. Among the registered users there were many accounts from married women over 40.

At forty-five - Baba Berry again.

Moreover, an interesting pattern was noticed - an aggravation of the craving for infidelity was noted at 29, 49 and 59 years old. It is precisely at this age that periods of crisis, reflection and revaluation of values ​​fall.

Reasons for men cheating

As the statistics of adultery show, men enter into third-party relationships for the following reasons:

• increased sexual desire;
• long absence of wife;
• random circumstances (cheerful company);
• love for another woman;
• excessive initiative of a woman (it is inconvenient for a man to refuse);
• self-affirmation through numerous contacts;
• revenge for insult or adultery;
• search for adventure and novelty of sensations;
• rewarding yourself for achievements in business.

According to a survey conducted in March 2020, statistics on male infidelity are as follows:

• 58% of men cheat on their wives, while 40% retain their feelings for their spouse;
• 6% cheated on their wives once;
• 12% – 2 times;
• 40% – more than 2 times;
• 40% cheated on girls before marriage;
• 18% - only after the wedding.

As you can see, the statistics of men’s infidelity indicate a fairly common fact of infidelity on the part of the stronger half of humanity. In recent years, the negative trend of destroying established marriages has intensified, when a man, at the point of sexual activity, seeks to marry a young girl with whom he has a short-term relationship.

Who cheats more and more often - men, boys or women, girls: reasons

But each gender has its own reasons for cheating. Yes, each person has a certain “explanation” for such behavior. But one thing can be said - men cheat for the sake of sex, but women cheat because of an emotional connection.

Although there are common reasons for cheating:

• Sexual dissatisfaction or different sexual “indices”. This includes the duration and frequency of sexual intercourse. Even here there are larks and owls who feel attracted at certain times. 9% of men begin to cheat precisely for this reason, but among women this figure rises to 14%.
• The emergence of a new love object. Among women, this aspect covers 20%, but among men – only 7%. Information has already been provided above that in men this love can only become serious by 3%. Among women, a small percentage also breaks up families for the sake of a new hobby. As a rule, this is only a temporary hobby.
• Increasing self-confidence and self-esteem . This indicator also has the other side of the coin - the attitude of the spouse. Often, lack of attention or lack of compliments, or, even worse, humiliation of a partner pushes one to do this. After all, attention and even just flirting with a stranger of the opposite sex gives that missing confidence. 11% of boys and 7% of girls are ready for this.
• Long separation . It doesn't matter whether it's a resort or a business trip. This figure increases if the frequency of such “vacations” becomes more frequent. Although couples do not always immediately run to others for comfort. For some, on the contrary, distances and long stays apart fuel relationships and fuel passion. Let us remind you that 18% of boys and 12% of girls are ready for this.
• The next reason applies more to young couples. Although this is not a purely youth phenomenon. Under the influence of alcohol, many begin to liberate themselves and lose their sense of shame. These are the betrayals that happen only once. Almost all those who cheat (15% of girls and 6% of boys) feel ashamed of their actions, and they regret what happened. By the way, in half of the cases, the initiators of separation in such a situation are the cheaters themselves due to pangs of conscience.

Reasons for cheating

• Vivid sensations push 15% of men and 9% of women to cheat. A calm and good family life is good, but for many such life becomes too monotonous. The cheating person wants to get that dose of adrenaline that is produced at the moment “what if they get caught.”
• A little in tune with the previous reason - the routine of family life . True, only 4% of men and 6% of women are ready to take such a step. This is done not just for the sake of a dose of extreme sports, but to feel desired again. Remember those “butterflies in the stomach” in the first years of marriage. Now go back to the picture of “wife in curlers” and “husband in family shorts,” who don’t even pay any attention to each other. And the desire to get away from problems or add bright colors to your life is what pushes you to cheat.
• Well, this closes such a difficult circle - betrayal for the sake of revenge . 21% of wives and only 1% of men are ready for it. Women are more vindictive in this matter. Although women do not cheat as often as strong representatives, that’s why the number of revenges is higher. This is how you look at it.

Male reasons that require special attention:

• Nature is designed in such a way that males must fertilize as many females as possible. This applies not only to humanity, but to the entire animal world. Therefore, the most common reason is simply sexual desire or sexual need . No emotional attachment!
• Also, many people simply try to get as many sexual victories . After all, such victories greatly boost men’s self-esteem. Usually guys with Don Juan syndrome suffer from this. As a rule, they rarely start serious relationships at all, much less families. And frequent trips to the “left” become a quick cause of breakups.
• Status is important ! This reason is somewhat consonant with the first aspect, or rather complements it. In the eyes of his friends, such a man seems more successful. Especially, the question increases with age. After all, you can walk arm in arm with a young mistress.

A man looks for something in a woman that he did not find in his wife.

• The same status among friends often pushes to “new victories” under the influence of alcohol.

• A special place is given to the initiative of women . Yes, not all available girls take into account the guy’s marital status. And men, because of their nobility, do not want to offend a woman with a refusal. A bit fragile reason. But there are also women who are very persistent and men who are too pliable.
• Very often, the reason for men's betrayal is a quarrel with their beloved . This is an opportunity to relieve stress and tension. The constantly “nagging” wife also falls into this category. So, dear ladies, do not push your men to cheat with strong pressure and annoying monologues, when the shelf in the bathroom is already hung.

IMPORTANT: Note to women - a man finds in his mistress what he does not get at home. All men are by nature “adult children”, so they often express reluctance to face responsibility and everyday problems. After all, with your lover you can just relax, hear kind words and receive intriguing SMS.

• Polygamy does not leave men even during periods of separation from the woman they love. That is, the absence of a partner does not cancel the need for sex. For men, this reason is not the least important.
• Men can also “reward” themselves with a new lover. Especially if he achieves any victories in his career. Such novels are temporary and brief in nature.
• And there is one more slightly unusual reason for a man to cheat - this is a reluctance to take responsibility for the breakdown of a relationship . In this case, the man does not hide his affair. Most often, a man in such a situation chooses a career, destroying his family life.

Divorces

In Ukraine, for every 1000 marriages there are 542 divorces,
in Russia - 829 divorces... That is, more than half.
Among the most common reasons:

• treason;
• sexual incompatibility or problems with intimacy;
• addictions of one of the partners (alcoholism, gambling, drug addiction);
• material and housing problems, moral and psychological against the background of financial ones;
• “stagnation” and alienation in relationships, constant quarrels and showdowns.

The peak of divorce occurs in the first 3 years of marriage (more than 50% of couples). After 5 years, the percentage is much lower (from divorce statistics in Russia 2017). Such disappointing statistics give reason to wonder: what is happening?

Men and women believe that “love will come and everything will be decided.” Nobody wants to work on a relationship and goes with the flow.

Love will not solve or save a marriage. You keep it yourself, building it step by step, consciously. Not following parental scenarios or “however it turns out,” but consciously.

To make a relationship happy, you need to work on it (like on your body - so that it is athletic and fit, it’s simple).

Oaths of allegiance to each other in the registry office, promising to love forever, is anyone lying? Of course not. At that particular moment - he’s not lying.

But after a few years it may turn out that the wife, from a joyful, grateful and sweet girl, has become angry, nervous and throws hysterics at every occasion...

Or the husband lay down on the sofa with beer and the philosophical “I need to find myself.” And while he is depressed or on a drinking binge, there is no money in the family. With such situations, it is difficult to continue to love each other, as if on a honeymoon. Where it leads?

Getting married is a conscious decision. Breaking up is the same as running away - it’s easy. But maintaining, establishing, reviving relationships and building them anew is more difficult.

Single mothers

In Ukraine, the number of single mothers has increased 22 times over 15 years, in Russia - 3 times over the past 20 years.

And according to statistics, their statistics of single mothers continues to grow, unfortunately.

• Sometimes these are the consequences of divorce: a woman is left alone to raise children.
• Sometimes this is a conscious decision: to give birth “for yourself.”
• Often children are born in a civil marriage, and legally the mother is practically single.
• It happens that children are born from other people's husbands - chronically married lovers...

And thousands more different scenarios with one result: a woman raises and raises children on her own.

What to do about it? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and take responsibility for your life. Of course, you can shout at every corner that all men are assholes, that the man has shredded, that he doesn’t want to take responsibility now, and so on.

But if you stop treating life as something that “happens” to you and start “happening” yourself, regardless of the initial data, everything can be corrected.

It’s possible to meet a worthy man with or without a child, or with several children, and start a family with him!

We need to shift the focus of attention from external to internal. On yourself and your development as a woman, for example.

What is all this for?

Moreover, it also pains me to realize the scale of this problem, but everything can be changed. That's why I'm trying to help as many women as possible become happy! Build relationships with worthy men.

And for this, of course, you first need to know who you are and what you want from life, understand yourself, work with your fears and self-esteem and develop as a woman! This is what I urge you to do!

Yaroslav Samoilov and the Growth Phase team.