In coaching, at the end of each session, together with the client, we determine the actions that need to be done over the next 2 weeks. We both understand that this action will bring money. He writes a receipt that he will do it.
However, when at the next coaching session it comes to checking the receipt, it turns out that the action was not done .
I start to find out the reason - but there is simply none. The entrepreneur cannot explain why he didn't do it. And when I dig deeper , it turns out that at the root of the unfulfilled receipt is fear of action.
Here is an example of fear of action from my friend Alexey. He is an entrepreneur, he has a store in the market and sells a lot of goods in retail chains.
We haven’t seen him for a long time - and this is not surprising . He spent almost all his time at work.
For over a year I recommended that he hire a salesperson, but he always brushed it off. This time it was the same. But then my sense of “demons” and I felt that Alexey had a clear fear of action.
I walked him through the process that I will give you at the end of the post, it dawned on him, and as a result he hired a salesman, handed over all the routine to him and moved on to a new real estate project.
Fear is a strong state that paralyzes and prevents action. fear is actually . The idea that something might happen to you.
And it is precisely this idea that frightens you, stops you, and keeps you from action.
An example of fear of action:
- I'm afraid of heights = I'm afraid of falling and getting killed
- I'm afraid of water = I'm afraid of drowning
- I'm afraid of riding my bike along the edge of a ravine = I'm afraid of falling off the edge and breaking something.
It's normal to feel this kind of fear before taking action. Especially if the fear is rational.
Causes of fear
Fear of a new job is a natural state. No matter how oppressed we are by our previous service, no matter how offended we are by our boss or outraged by low earnings - all this is a comfort zone that has set teeth on edge. Even if you say: “What kind of comfort is this?” - This is true. The comfort is that you know what awaits you. There is no unknown for you: yes, a small salary, yes, a harmful director, yes, the work is primitive - but there are no surprises. This is comfort.
Fear when changing jobs arises precisely from not knowing what to expect. After all, employment affects several factors at once: job responsibilities, interaction with people (boss, employees, clients), working conditions, wages. Dissatisfaction with any of these points can lead to the fact that the job becomes hell and ends in dismissal.
Fear of a new job can be caused by a combination of reasons. Most often it overtakes people experiencing general self-doubt. A person with low self-esteem tends to experience great anxiety about what others will think of him. A new place means a new experience, and it’s not a fact that it will be successful.
Such a person is especially let down by his fear of asking a question again, so as not to seem incompetent. And in a new position, a lot of questions always arise, the lack of answers to which increases anxiety even more, and the circle closes.
An important reason may be previous negative experiences. A person tends to transfer his past experiences to a new place and provoke the same problems with his behavior. If your relationship with management did not work out at your previous job, you will perceive any new boss with particular suspicion and anxiety. However, it is worth noting that the manager can also change at the old job. But this is not perceived so acutely, because everything else is familiar.
Causes of the disorder
Fear of a new job never arises out of nowhere. Any psychological disorder requires a push for it to manifest itself fully. Here we are not talking about a reluctance to learn something new, because there are people who are quite comfortable in their old place, where everything is familiar and has long become familiar. Even if the salary is not entirely satisfactory, and the team is not very good, it is simply too lazy to move and look for something new.
As soon as a person realizes that he will have to go for an interview and get acquainted with a new activity and team, he panics. This condition is most often caused by:
Bad experience . Perhaps he had already found himself in a similar situation before and not everything went smoothly. For example, the transfer to another school was overshadowed by the opprobrium of new classmates. Or, in a previous job search, he was ridiculed for his mistake or was rejected. Everything is stored in memory and manifests itself over time.- Unstable self-esteem . Sometimes troubles happen to people, things don’t always work out the way you wanted. Some people know how to abstract themselves from past failures and boldly move on. Others begin to punish themselves and look for reasons within. This state of affairs often leads to a decrease in love for the outside world and, what is much worse, for oneself.
- Self-examination . Every event that occurs in the life of an ergophobe is subjected to rigorous analysis and the conclusions are most often far from positive. And since self-esteem is already reduced, a person continues to blame himself for everything, even if the circumstances have developed in such a way that there simply could not have been another outcome.
- Lack of support and criticism from parents . Patients tolerate criticism very poorly, and if for every offense they receive only negative emotions, then this turns into a desire to be better in order to finally receive praise. But it often happens that a person’s successes are ignored, and he tries harder and harder, and the slightest offense is perceived very poorly by himself.
All psychological problems are related to a person's past. Sometimes changes are not noticeable at first, but over time they grow like a snowball. With this development of events, problems cannot be avoided in the future.
What kind of people are afraid of a new job?
A special fear of a new place is typical for people of a certain type, and here we are talking not only about self-esteem. Problems with communication skills are acutely manifested in situations of a new team. Introverts often experience increased anxiety when changing jobs. Their psyche is structured in such a way that establishing social contacts occurs slowly and in some positions this is a problem. Getting to know new responsibilities and colleagues moves slowly and is not always met with understanding. Introverts know this about themselves and begin to worry in advance.
Temperament also plays a big role. Choleric and melancholic people are not able to remain balanced in stressful situations, and a new job is definitely stressful. Questions and misunderstandings that arise unsettle them, the level of anxiety rises, and emotions take over.
The worst thing is that after this they begin to feel guilty, to work themselves up even more, although in fact, it is quite likely that no one from the environment attached much importance to their behavior. And again the circle of anxiety closes. It is for such people that this notorious exit from the comfort zone is a big problem. They are terribly afraid of both a new job and moving.
The situation often gets worse when it comes to a woman on maternity leave, or a person who suffers at her real job, does not develop and feels an urgent need to change something.
Causes of neophobia ↑
Irrational fear and an extremely anxious state that covers the entire mental essence of a person and his behavior in connection with the unknown, unusual and unknown is called neophobia or fear of the new.
When dwelling on the causes of neophobia, one should focus on individual factors that naturally determine it. They are divided into:
- External – these include everything that is not related to the individual, but relates to the environment and objective circumstances.
- Internal – include personal and characterological characteristics depending on the person himself.
External factors that trigger fear of novelty include:
- economic environment (instability of financial situation, financial conditions, which makes a person worry about unfavorable developments of future events);
- social component (a well-established assessment of one’s social status and negative expectations of the possibilities of changing it for the better in the future);
- political inconsistency (uncertainty due to low culture and a negative forecast for the development of political relations in society).
Internal causes of phobia about new things include:
- Features of the individual’s nervous system, its rigidity (low flexibility): manifested in confusion in front of everything new.
- Excessive suspicion , suspiciousness: in the course of possible changes and innovations, worries arise too easily, even for minor reasons.
- Conservatism of thinking and approaches to life: makes a person “grab” at everything familiar and hold on to it, fear the new and possible changes.
- Situational and/or personal anxiety : a predisposition to the emergence of negative emotions and negative experiences when encountering new circumstances, events, people.
- Lack or low degree of faith in one’s capabilities: changes and surprises make one give in to them, doubt oneself, create a fear of not being able to cope with a task and getting bogged down in problems.
- The existence of a “comfort zone” - stable and familiar conditions of existence (you don’t want to leave them): fear of losing what you have acquired and achieved due to expected or probable changes (“even though not everything is good, it’s stable!”).
- The individual’s need for achievement is low expressed or absent: fear of raising the bar of achievement higher - “suddenly I can’t cope,” or lack of need to achieve anything at all.
- Increased responsibility for the results of activities: novelty and renewal of approaches to work can reduce results and their effectiveness, which causes irrational fear and excessive frightening.
Do buzzing fauna fill children with awe? Read how to get rid of the fear of insects. Read about fears during pregnancy here.
Signs and manifestations of fear
The fear can be so strong that it prevents you from deciding to leave your previous position. A person may be well aware that he has outgrown it, that the salary is not satisfactory, that there are better options in every sense, but acute fear prevents him from taking this step. When a person overcomes himself and decides to change jobs, the body treacherously turns on.
Before an interview or even before the first day of work, amazing metamorphoses begin. A previously calm and cool person begins to run to the toilet, choke, and feel dizzy. These offensive symptoms further increase anxiety: “What if I disgrace myself there, at work? What will they think of me? And everything starts with a vengeance.
The autonomic nervous system responds to stress. Nausea occurs, your legs give way, your heart just jumps out of your chest, your face turns red or pale, your mouth becomes dry, your armpits sweat, your voice breaks. Particularly suspicious people begin to experience problems long before the event. They have nightmares or completely lose sleep, their appetite disappears, and chronic illnesses worsen.
How to overcome fear of a new job
Pathological fear can be caused by serious mental disorders, so if fear leads you to panic attacks, it is better to consult a psychotherapist or at least a consulting psychologist. A specialist will help you figure out what exactly you are afraid of, what your fear is based on, and how you can work with it.
There are often cases when such irrational fear has deep roots and this is only one of the possible manifestations. Nowadays, turning to a psychologist is not something shameful.
Until recently, people had the idea that mentally ill people or those who have a lot of money and free time go to a psychologist. Fortunately, people are gradually beginning to realize that a psychologist is the same specialist as the hairdresser whose services you resort to. After all, doesn’t it seem strange to you that someone who has been specially trained can do your hair better than you yourself? That is why with some problems in your head you should come to a professional, and not suffer yourself or pester your girlfriends and relatives.
However, quite often a person is able to independently overcome the fear of a new job. In order for fear to decrease, you need to admit to yourself that it exists. Honest dialogue with yourself is an important part of the awareness process. Next, “therapy” yourself: what are you afraid of? Who are you afraid of? Follow your thoughts, no matter how absurd they may seem to you.
Try to get to the bottom of the truth. In fact, you have all the answers to your questions in your head. For example, you are afraid of not joining the team. What does this mean to you? Do you want to find friends there? Maybe. What if you don't find it? Yes, you have friends outside of work. After all, you can maintain a formal relationship with your colleagues without getting too close, and this will not harm your reputation in the least.
Do you want to please everyone? What for? What happens if not everyone likes you? If such questions lead you to the conclusion that your opinion of yourself depends on what those around you think about yourself, then you need to work on self-sufficiency. Concentrating on your strengths and positive qualities helps you overcome fear. Yes, you don’t yet know how successfully you will cope with your new job, however, you have a lot of positive examples in which you achieved good results.
Are you afraid of your boss? And why? What makes you think that he is some kind of evil, or a tyrant, or a stupid person? Why do you think he won't like you? What is it about you that should push him away? Conversely, you may be afraid that he will like you so much that he will begin to behave indecently towards you? What is this fear associated with? Have you had any negative experiences? Why do you think that you cannot defend your boundaries? The answers to all these questions will help you understand your fear thoroughly and, therefore, cope with it.
You may be frightened by seemingly ridiculous questions: what should you call your junior colleagues, “You” or “you”? If it's "you" - won't they consider me too distant, and if it's "you" - I might give the impression of an ill-mannered person. How do you eat here? Carry lunch with you, or go to a cafe? Is there a buffet here? Is it possible to drink coffee during working hours? Will my workplace be comfortable? All this is really important, you just need to make yourself understand that it will take time to adapt and there is nothing terrible about it.
And most importantly, during a dialogue with yourself, answer the question: “what if everything is bad? Nothing is working out, the employees are bastards, the boss is a tyrant, the conditions are unsatisfactory.” Nothing! Just quit and look for something that suits you.
There is nothing wrong with this, you are not signing a contract with the devil, you will not be obliged to work at this new job for the rest of your life. This thought often helps overcome fear before starting a new work activity. You just try, and suddenly it’s “yours” and that’s it.
Treatment of fear of new things
People who suffer from neophobia are often very aware of what is happening to them. True, they cannot cope with attacks of fear on their own. If you are afraid of everything new, it is recommended to contact an experienced specialist, for example, psychologist-hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin.
Neophobia can be treated with medications, but the medication method does not bring positive results. The reasons for the fear of the new, of all kinds of changes lie in the depths of the human subconscious. Psychotherapeutic treatment and hypnosis help to cope with the problem.
A psychologist identifies the causes of fear, helps a person understand the problem and cope with it. The specialist conducts training on personality development, teaches how to control one’s well-being and cope with panic attacks.
Psychotherapeutic treatment is based on a confidential conversation, during which the specialist identifies what specifically led to the mental disorder. A psychologist helps change a person’s attitude towards a frightening situation and overcome internal fears. The client develops a positive attitude towards innovations, he ceases to be afraid of change.
If it is not possible to cope with neophobia through conversation, it is necessary to put the person into a state of hypnotic trance. Under the influence of hypnosis, the specialist manages to instill positive thoughts in the client and transform a destructive state of mind into a positive attitude.
Expert advice
Some useful tips to help you feel more confident when applying for a new job:
- first of all , be friendly, smile and don't try to pretend to be something.
- secondly , don't be afraid to ask questions. People love to talk about themselves and show their competence in something. However, don't go too far; your questions shouldn't be too personal or intrusive.
- thirdly , the well-known saying about someone else's monastery is very correct. First, observe how the employees of the new team behave. Gradually you will integrate into it, and if you earn authority, then you will be able to correct some aspects that seem inappropriate to you.
- fourthly , do not let us push through your boundaries, and at the same time do not flaunt them. And finally, if you can’t calm down your excitement and anxiety, think about how you react to new people in the team? Would you pay attention to everything that is bothering you now? Do you change your attitude towards a person depending on how he is dressed, or how quickly he has mastered his new job? Don't overestimate others and value yourself.
Life and business coach Larisa Kislova discusses how you can overcome your fear of a new job in the following video:
How to overcome fear: advice from a psychologist ↑
By limiting a person’s capabilities and desires, neophobia dulls an adequate perception of life. Prejudice forces you to discard any constructive thoughts and actions.
A few tips will help you overcome the distortions of perception that have arisen:
- Awareness and understanding that the occurrence of difficulties is an everyday occurrence. It appears as an inevitability, it is not an obstacle that cannot be overcome, but a bridge between what was and what will be. In the process of overcoming difficulties, valuable experience is gained.
- Avoiding inaction and passivity - it is fear that makes a person sit back and just worry. Practical and thoughtful actions will give you confidence.
- Analysis of specific manifestations of fear of the new at the initial stage of the fight against it. One should not leave “for later” clear ideas about what exactly frightens and worries a person. By dealing with the problem of fear in advance (at the initial stage), you can avoid surprises and surprises in the future.
- Incentives . Positive reinforcement of your (even small) achievements in overcoming fear helps you feel and appreciate the taste of victory and move on.
- A negative result is a learning experience . Something may not work out, but stopping attempts to overcome a phobia is not constructive. If there is a goal, it must be achieved, and corrections for errors are one of the necessary and mandatory actions.
Neophobia reflects the fact of a person’s perception of changes and changes in life - they are scary simply by their possibility of occurrence and prospects, even without confirming negative life circumstances.
Awareness, rational assessment and opposition to these prejudices will help the individual overcome the fear of the new.
conclusions
The fear of a new job is familiar to almost all of us to one degree or another. Some people are able to overcome it on their own, while others need to consult a psychologist. This is not surprising, because for many people work is a second home, and they really want it to be pleasant or at least comfortable to go there. Before starting a new job, try to accept the idea that this anxiety is temporary and gradually you will become familiar with all the nuances and feel good. And if not, then to hell with it, you’ll find a new one!
