According to statistics, women are much less likely to experience orgasm than men. Approximately 35% do not find anything attractive in sexual relationships at all and agree to them only because their partner requires them.
Female frigidity is a common problem that can persist throughout life and, unlike male impotence, is not the result of any disease. If it would be almost impossible for a male representative to disguise the lack of sexual desire, then women can skillfully feign an orgasm or create the appearance of arousal.
General information
Sexual dysfunction is a condition that negatively affects a person’s quality of life and psychological state. At the same time, according to experts, such disorders are recorded much more often among representatives of the fair sex. If erectile dysfunction in men is the problem with which they most often seek help, then women, as a rule, hide the presence of such disorders.
The result is sexual dissatisfaction, leading to psychological and physiological problems. Speaking about frigidity in women - what it is, it should be noted that this term indicates a decrease in libido and interest in sex. The meaning of the word (derived from the Latin word “cold”) explains the essence of this term: frigidity is sexual coldness in girls and women. Even in the most frank moments, such women may not experience arousal. As a result, the lack of sexual desire in women leads to pain during and after sexual intercourse. When describing this condition, experts also use the terms hypolibidemia and anaphrodisia .
More information about what such a disorder means, how to overcome this problem, and also about whether it is advisable to talk about frigidity in men will be discussed in this article.
Reviews
Valentin, 29 years old
What to do if your wife is frigid? I asked myself this question a few years ago, when my wife, after giving birth, began to avoid intimate relationships. I started asking her what was causing the lack of desire, she didn’t say anything for a long time, but then she said that she stopped feeling attractive. I took her to specialists who prescribed her suitable treatment. After 6 months, our intimate life improved.
Kirill, 42 years old
How to deal with female frigidity if the spouse does not see any problem in the lack of sexual desire? I admit honestly, I even had thoughts about taking a mistress, but I quickly drove them away. I sent my wife for a consultation with a gynecologist, then for tests. She was prescribed drug therapy, and the problem itself was caused by hormonal disorders.
Arina, 36 years old
A year after giving birth, I began to notice that I no longer wanted a husband. At first I tolerated his caresses, but then I snapped and said that I didn’t need intimacy. I remember that there was a big scandal then and my husband didn’t talk to me for a long time. About six months after this incident, I sought medical help, the treatment was long-term. In my case, the lack of desire was due to postpartum depression.
Inga, 52 years old
In postmenopause, I lost my desire for sexual relations. At first I chalked it all up to age, but then I realized that it was a psychological thing; at that moment we were having problems with my husband. I talked to him and explained the whole situation. The husband promised to improve. Additionally, at this time I visited a psychotherapist. I think all these comprehensive activities ultimately helped me enjoy intimacy again.
Frigidity is a type of sexual disorder that, if promptly sought medical help, can be successfully treated. The main thing is to understand that enjoying intimacy is a completely natural feeling that you should not be afraid of.
Pathogenesis
In some cases, sexual coldness is caused physically, in others it is a sexual disorder. In this case, the body's reactions may be different. an orgasm during sexual intercourse , although they experience pleasant sensations. This condition is usually associated with delayed psychosexual development. Another part is indifferent to sexual intercourse and does not experience pleasant feelings. Such manifestations can be caused by overwork, mental illness, alcohol abuse, etc. The third category of women has aversion and hostility to sexual contact. In this case we are talking about the inhibition of sexual functions by psychological factors.
Percentage of frigid women in the world
Intimacy causes disgust or, at best, indifference in 15% of women around the world. Every tenth woman who is sexually active has never experienced an orgasm. Such data are provided by psychologists and sexologists around the world.
Studies conducted with married couples yielded an unexpected result: out of 100 couples, only 38 were able to accurately name each other’s erogenous zones. Based on this, it can be argued that one of the main reasons for female frigidity is the indifference of her partner.
Classification
As noted above, there are three degrees of manifestation of frigidity.
- First , during sexual intercourse, arousal is noted, but orgasm does not occur.
- The second is complete indifference to sexual contact.
- Third , there is a pronounced hostility and even aversion to sexual contact.
There are also several types of this condition depending on the reasons for its origin:
- Constitutional frigidity - sexual coldness is associated with the characteristics of a woman’s anatomy.
- Withdrawal – decreased libido is associated with prolonged abstinence from sexual intercourse.
- Symptomatic – a consequence of chronic somatic diseases, in particular diabetes mellitus , cardiovascular disorders, etc.
- Postpartum is a consequence of physiological and anatomical changes in the female body after the birth of a child, as well as psycho-emotional exhaustion.
- Retardation is a consequence of the immaturity of the reproductive system. It is observed when the hormonal background is unformed, as well as in the absence of sexual experience.
- Emotional – associated with a negative emotional background. As a rule, it is situational.
- Psychogenic - develops after severe shocks, while a woman, as a rule, has a pronounced aversion to sex. Most often it occurs in women who have suffered sexual violence or aggression from a partner.
- Nymphomaniac is a condition in which desire and fantasies persist, but a woman cannot achieve orgasm during sex.
Primary and secondary frigidity are also distinguished
- Primary – develops as a result of physical and emotional unpreparedness for sexual intercourse. Often observed in young girls. When having sexual intercourse “out of curiosity,” expectations often do not coincide with reality. As a result, attitudes towards sex may become distorted.
- Secondary - this condition can be associated with sexual diseases, mental and endocrine disorders, neoplasms, brain diseases, etc.
How to effectively cure frigidity in a woman
Only true frigidity is incurable. As a rule, it does not cause any physical discomfort, but can put pressure on a woman psychologically.
In this case, a course of psychotherapeutic treatment is prescribed - rational and suggestive psychotherapy, aimed at eliminating the feeling of one’s own inferiority.
The goal of such treatment is to restore a woman’s sense of harmony and happiness with her partner, to shift the emphasis of the relationship from sexual intimacy to spiritual and emotional intimacy. Before curing frigidity in a woman, it is necessary to eliminate its probable cause.
Imaginary frigidity is curable in the vast majority of cases. In order to prescribe effective treatment for frigidity in women, it is necessary to establish the cause (or set of causes) that led to its development.
In addition, half of the success is ensured by the desire of the woman herself to get rid of sexual coldness. It is also very important that the partner actively participates in therapy if the woman has a stable couple.
Hormonal treatment.
It is prescribed to women with hormonal frigidity. Hormonal treatment of frigidity in women with tablets is justified in all cases of the same type, except for temporary coldness associated with pregnancy and childbirth - it goes away spontaneously.
A course of hormonal treatment should be prescribed by an endocrinologist after a thorough examination. Under no circumstances should you self-medicate.
As a rule, such treatment includes taking androgenic drugs that increase desire, and accompanying physiotherapeutic procedures: gynecological massage, vaginal tampons, vaginal douching with a special composition, and some hydrotherapy procedures. These measures are aimed at increasing vaginal sensitivity.
Stimulating treatment.
This type of treatment is most effective for withdrawal symptoms and prolonged retardation frigidity. In addition, it is prescribed as a supplement in the treatment of psychogenic frigidity.
Stimulant treatment involves taking medications that stimulate the central nervous system and increase libido.
Such preparations include vitamin complexes, an oil solution of vitamin E, a solution of retinol acetate, pantocrine, as well as various herbal stimulants - tinctures of lemongrass, eleutherococcus, ginseng.
In addition to drug stimulant treatment, physiotherapy procedures described above are usually prescribed.
Psychotherapy.
This is the main method of treating psychogenic frigidity. The following types of psychotherapy are distinguished:
- Rational therapy - conversations with a woman, during which a specialist explains the causes and origins of her sexual disorder, talks about the psychological and physiological nature of sexuality, and fills in the gaps in sex education, if any.
- Hypnosuggestive therapy is the correction of psychological conditions that inhibit a woman’s sexuality, carried out in a state of hypnotic sleep (elimination of fears, dulling of unpleasant memories, relieving emotional stress associated with intimacy, etc.)
- Autogenic training is a set of psychological exercises that a specialist recommends for a woman to perform independently (for example, vividly imagine situations in which a woman experiences physical pleasure - how she basks in the sun, splashes in warm water, walks barefoot on soft grass, etc. pair therapy
This type of treatment is recommended when secondary frigidity occurs in a woman who has a stable couple.
If the development of coldness arises due to any problems with a partner (his inability to give a woman sexual pleasure or neglect of her desires, dulling of a woman’s sexuality due to the routine of living together, etc.), then it is necessary to begin therapy with the man.
The specialist, in a delicate manner, gives the partner advice that can help him increase the woman’s sensuality.
These can be recommendations both on sex techniques (use additional stimulation of the partner’s erogenous zones, try new sex positions, etc.), and concerning the emotional and psychological background of their intimacy - change the decor in the house, go on a romantic trip together, send while the children go to grandma or to summer camp and live “for their own pleasure,” etc.
There are also some special trainings for married couples aimed at better understanding each other in the area of sensuality and increasing libido in both partners. They are not a specific treatment for frigidity, but can be a very effective addition to couples therapy.
Causes of frigidity
When discussing the reasons for the lack of sexual desire in women, it should be noted that they are all divided into two categories - psychological and physiological .
The following factors are classified as psychological:
- Prolonged stress, constant fatigue and overload.
- An episode of sexual violence that has occurred one or more times. This is especially noticeable on libido if violence accompanied the first sexual experience.
- Fear of unplanned pregnancy - this feeling does not allow a woman to relax.
- Negative attitude or disgust shown by a partner.
- Coldness and lack of emotions in the family in which the girl grew up.
- Depressive state , increased anxiety .
A number of physiological factors that provoke frigidity are also determined:
- Injuries to the genital organs that lead to damage to nerve endings.
- Injuries to the vaginal walls after childbirth , which leads to lack of desire. Also, during the period after the birth of a baby and lactation, there is a natural decrease in libido. However, this is a reversible condition and in most cases everything returns to normal after a few months.
- Pathologies in the development of the genital organs.
- Physical pathologies - multiple sclerosis , headaches, arthritis , etc.
- Taking certain medications: antidepressants, antihistamines, some drugs against hypertension chemotherapy drugs , etc.
- Hormonal imbalance during menopause . At this time, due to a decrease in estrogen , the elasticity of the vagina deteriorates, pain appears during sexual intercourse, which becomes an obstacle to achieving orgasm.
Causes of sexual dysfunction
The appearance of sexual indifference may depend on several reasons.
Sex therapists and gynecologists divide them into the following groups:
| Causes | Description |
| Hormonal imbalance |
|
| Existing diseases |
|
| Medicines | Long-term use of the following drugs:
|
| Bad habits | Alcohol and drug use. |
| Diseases of the uterus and its appendages | Decreased libido due to pain in the genital area with:
|
| Disturbances in the formation of the reproductive system |
|
| Psychological problems | Reaction to:
|
Symptoms
True frigidity is characterized by a complete lack of interest in sexual life. Therefore, a temporary lack of interest in sexual activity, associated with the influence of certain factors, does not indicate complete frigidity. Very often, it is enough for a woman to consult with a qualified specialist who will help her understand everything and correct the problems.
It is noteworthy that signs of frigidity may remain invisible to a woman, and they are often initially noticed by a partner. The following signs are typical for this condition:
- Sexual desire either disappears completely or appears very rarely. Even if there is attraction to a person, there is no arousal.
- Sexual contact is perceived as an unpleasant duty, and the partner’s desire to talk about this topic provokes irritation.
- If sexual contact does occur, then the body does not react to the process physically - lubricant is not released, arousal does not occur. There are also no emotions and no orgasm.
- Before, during and after sexual intercourse, pain may be experienced in the genital area and anus.
- After sexual intercourse, irritation, disappointment and other unpleasant feelings are noted.
Myths and truth about female frigidity2
Nowadays, where liberation and free conversations on sexual topics reign, many do not realize what problems some women face. Many men even consider such girls inferior, and some come up with all sorts of myths about frigidity. Here are some of them:
- Men are to blame for everything. Most women, without delving into the essence of the problem, begin to blame the man who is nearby for frigidity. In their opinion, they experience sexual aversion because their partner pays little attention, is not attractive enough, does not feel women’s needs, or is generally bad in bed. But the problem lies much deeper - in perception. And here the psychological component is important, which influenced the reasons for such female perception.
- This is a terrible disease. Indeed, sometimes the problem lies precisely in women’s health and psychological state. But, also, the cause of frigidity can be a woman’s strict upbringing, which at a young age discouraged any desire for contact with men. Such problems can arise in girls from religious families or in girls who were raised by conservative adults.
- Frigid women are flawed. But if you look from the other side, these girls are even more complete than the non-frigid ones. Girls who do not have “animal” needs are much more likely to achieve success in life, since they are not distracted by unnecessary worries and are ready to devote themselves to the work of their whole lives.
- This disease is incurable. This condition is treatable, and sometimes women cope with the disease on their own when a caring and attractive partner appears nearby. Sometimes, you need to see a psychologist or a women's doctor. But the bottom line is the same: you shouldn’t give up on yourself if you feel frigid.
- Frigid women cannot have children. Doctors have proven the opposite. Considering that these women do not have a lot of sexual intercourse, and accordingly, they have less risk of having diseases of the genitourinary system. According to statistics, frigid women who decided to have a child carried the baby without problems and easily survived the birth process. Many girls noticed that after giving birth, they practically stopped being frigid and began to experience sexual arousal towards their partner.
Tests and diagnostics
When conducting a diagnosis, the doctor asks the patient in detail about her feelings, both physiological and emotional. If there is pain and discomfort in the genital area, the woman must be examined by a gynecologist, who determines the presence or absence of physiological pathologies. If necessary, the necessary studies may be prescribed.
A series of conversations with a sexologist or psychologist will help identify psychological problems. It is very important that an experienced specialist not only confirm the diagnosis, but also determine the cause of this condition.
Ways to combat female frigidity6
Treatment methods directly depend on the causes of frigidity. For example, in case of psychological disorders, you should contact a female psychologist, with whom you can understand in detail the causes of such an illness and together develop a treatment regimen. This process can take a long time, since not all women are ready to share their problem and talk about it. However, only a professional can help get your sex life back on track.
In addition, there are many other methods, for example:
- Treatment with traditional methods. Various tinctures of calendula, golden root, pink currant radiola, black currant, sea buckthorn, oregano, lemon balm, motherwort, ginseng, chamomile, nettle, St. John's wort, rose hips and so on will have the best effect on women's health. Frigidity is not only a modern disease. After all, it’s not in vain that our grandmothers compiled folk recipes to combat this disease.
- Therapeutic exercise and massages. This will not only have a positive effect on the woman’s overall health, but will also improve her mood. And as you know, good sex largely depends on a positive attitude.
- Aromatherapy. Essential oils are known to help treat many problems. The best help is sage, bergamot, mint, geranium - in addition to the positive effect on the body, these aromatic oils relieve stress.
- Appointment with an experienced gynecologist. Only visiting an experienced doctor will help completely eradicate the problem.
Treatment with folk remedies
Some folk remedies are also used to increase sexual desire. However, such methods are auxiliary, and it is advisable to use them only after the approval of a doctor.
- Medicinal tea . It is necessary to mix dry chamomile, nettle and rose hips in equal proportions. 2 tbsp. l. Pour 300 ml of water into this mixture and boil for several minutes. Strain and drink throughout the day.
- Drink with spices . Add 4 cloves, a little chili pepper and nutmeg to 200 ml of milk. Boil, strain, add a little honey and drink throughout the day. Take every day for at least two weeks.
- Anise tincture . Pour 50 g of anise seeds into 200 ml of cognac and leave for two weeks. Drink 1 tbsp. l. a day before meals. The course of treatment is at least 3 months.
- Dried fruits . Mix figs, prunes, dried apricots, dates, walnuts, almonds in equal proportions, chop everything and add a little honey. Take 1 tbsp twice a day. l.
- Tea with ginger . Grind 50 ml of ginger, pour 1 liter of boiling water and leave in a thermos for several hours. It is recommended to consume this drink with honeycombs. In this case, the wax should be chewed for a long time, but not consumed orally.
- Cinnamon . It is recommended to add it to your morning coffee. This coffee should be drunk with dark chocolate.
- Massage with aromatic oils . Patchouli, ylang-ylang, and sandalwood oils are suitable for massage. It is advisable that such a massage be performed by a loved one - this way the woman can relax as much as possible.
- Oriental dances and yoga . These activities provide an opportunity to relax and explore sexuality.
How to treat frigidity? — Medicines and psychology
Everything can be changed!
It is not always possible to successfully treat frigidity in women. The matter is sometimes complicated by the fact that they may not see a doctor for a long time, considering the lack of desire as a pathology. But if a visit to a sex therapist takes place and a diagnosis is made, then its correction is carried out by three methods: psycho-emotional therapy, neurosurgical intervention and drug treatment. Traditional therapy methods are also used.
Psycho-emotional therapy is the main way to eliminate sexual coldness. Lack of sufficient desire or complete aversion to sex is most often a consequence of a traumatic situation. To cope with her feelings, a woman will have to work on herself for a long time together with a psychotherapist and psychologist.
If frigidity is caused by the negative behavior of a partner, then psycho-emotional therapy will not bring the desired effect until the man understands that he needs to reconsider his attitude towards the woman.
In other words, if a woman is being treated by a psychotherapist, but is insulted and humiliated at home, then it is absolutely impossible to cure frigidity in this case, since the main factor in its occurrence has not been eliminated.
Drug therapy is used both in cases where the cause of sexual coldness is a psychotraumatic situation, and in cases where the disease is a consequence of physiological dysfunctions.
- Antidepressants and sedatives - most often prescribed are Persen, motherwort, Afobazol, Tenoten, Fitosed, Alvogen Relax. The goal of such therapy is to reduce nervous and emotional tension and thereby make it easier for the psychotherapist to work with the patient.
- Hormonal therapy - sexual coldness can be a consequence of decreased production of estradiol or testosterone in a woman’s body. To increase their levels, estrogen-containing and androgenic drugs are prescribed. In the first case, these are Proginova, Klimara, Estrofem. In the second case, these are Androcourt, Byzanne, Marvelon.
- Drugs to increase blood flow - are used in cases where it is necessary to get rid of frigidity, which is a consequence of dysfunction of the nerve endings in the clitoris and vagina. The list of vasoactive agents is extensive and will depend on what caused the nerve damage. The most common drugs are Actovegin, Pirocetam, Cortexin.
Neurosurgical intervention - used in cases where it is necessary to restore the sensitivity of the nerve endings in the clitoris, if previous drug therapy did not bring the desired results. For the operation, the woman is admitted to the hospital. Manipulations are performed on the clitoral hood; the neurosurgeon removes scars, adhesions, and excess skin folds so that the sensitivity of this area increases.
Folk remedies for correcting frigidity - the effectiveness of their use will directly depend on the cause of sexual frigidity. If it arose due to a traumatic situation, then in this case the only benefit will be from the work of a psychotherapist. If the disease is the result of dysfunction of nerve endings, then alternative medicine can only help in a number of cases where surgical intervention is not required.
Frigidity is well treated with folk remedies in those women who have problems with low levels of estradiol, testosterone, as well as insufficient blood supply to the pelvic organs. In this case, you can choose herbal therapy:
- Radiola rosea tincture (alcohol) is taken once a day before meals. Mix 15 drops of tincture with a glass of boiled water and drink in small portions within 15 minutes. Treatment should be continued for 1.5 - 2 months.
- Brew blackcurrant leaves as tea and drink at least 3 glasses a day for 3 to 4 months. This remedy not only stimulates blood circulation, but also has a beneficial effect on the immune system, especially in winter.
- Brew a tablespoon of chamomile, nettle and rose hips with a glass of boiling water and leave for 3 hours. Drink the resulting infusion in portions throughout the day. Continue treatment for at least 2 months.
Possible consequences
Contrary to popular belief, sexual coldness does not have negative consequences for the female body. Lack of sexual contact or aversion to it does not cause severe gynecological diseases or hormonal imbalances. Therefore, treatment of frigidity is carried out so that a woman can enjoy sexual intercourse, and not with the aim of preventing serious pathologies.
The only consequence that can result from sexual coldness is depression and nervous breakdowns, caused not by frigidity itself, but by an assessment of a woman’s quality as a sexual partner.
Tags:
women Health
Prevention
To avoid problems with sexual desire, you must adhere to the following recommendations:
- Visit your gynecologist regularly to prevent the development of chronic diseases. Preventive examinations by specialists of other profiles are also important.
- Build the most trusting relationship with your partner, discuss with him your feelings, preferences and problems that have arisen.
- Do not practice sexual contact if it happens “through force”, without desire. If this happens constantly, a woman may eventually develop aversion to sex in general or to a loved one.
- Learn to relax, have a good rest, and avoid stressful situations.
How to overcome your fear of sex
Your partner can help you overcome your fear of sex if he is gentle, sensitive, attentive and affectionate. Talk to him frankly and ask him to treat this situation with understanding and pay more attention to you.
A sexologist will help you choose relaxing techniques, practices, techniques for you and your partner, taking into account your individual characteristics
If you experience dryness and pain during sex, use lubricants.
During pregnancy
So-called temporary frigidity can be observed in a woman during pregnancy and after childbirth. During this period, significant hormonal changes occur in the body of the expectant mother. In addition, she is psychologically tuned specifically to procreation, so sometimes this also affects libido. However, this phenomenon is reversible, and a few months after childbirth, normal sexual desire is gradually restored.
Psychological help
According to statistics, in many cases the causes of frigidity lie in psychogenic factors. In these cases, it is not drug treatment that comes to the fore, but appointments with a psychologist, sexologist, or psychotherapist. The main task is to reveal problems that come from the head.
It is recommended to receive psychological help together with your husband (regular partner), because this:
- helps to identify true problems in the couple’s relationship;
- helps, if necessary, to establish mutual understanding;
- under professional guidance, it allows a woman to express her fears, concerns, complaints, and a man to hear it and react correctly;
- establish a comfortable microclimate in the family.
Individual visits to a specialist will help the patient get rid of phobias, feel important and self-confident. To achieve success, a woman’s attitude and desire to change the situation are required.
Diet
Diet for hormonal imbalance in women
- Efficacy: therapeutic effect after 3 weeks
- Timing: constantly
- Cost of products: 1400-1500 rubles per week
The diet should be varied and rich in all the minerals and elements necessary for women’s health. To enhance sexual desire, nutritionists recommend introducing into the menu some foods and dishes that have aphrodisiac properties. It is recommended to include in the diet more often:
- red meat;
- fish and seafood (oysters, shrimp, etc.);
- eggs;
- spices and herbs;
- bitter chocolate;
- bananas;
- vegetables and herbs (parsley, celery, avocado);
- red wine in small quantities.
Consequences and complications
If sexual life causes discomfort, there is no sexual desire, and everything related to the intimate side of life causes negative emotions, then over time a woman may develop a depressive state. Frigidity can also lead to the development of other psychological problems.
If we are talking about physiological reasons, then this condition can subsequently lead to infertility and diseases of the reproductive system.
Diagnostic techniques
Treatment of various forms of frigidity in women depends on a correct diagnosis.
To do this, a specialized doctor conducts a series of surveys, conversations, and prescribes studies:
- the gynecologist conducts a bimanual examination, examining the condition of the uterus using mirrors to determine the presence of diseases that reduce libido;
- An ultrasound specialist uses ultrasonic waves to confirm or exclude the presence of pathologies in the area of the uterus and its appendages that contribute to the development of frigidity.
Blood test for the presence and ratio of hormones such as:
- progesterone;
- testosterone;
- estadiol;
- hormones of the thyroid gland and adrenal cortex.
If necessary, to detail the diagnosis, specific studies and tests may be prescribed:
- urologist;
- neurologist;
- endocrinologist;
- therapist;
- psychiatrist.
