Housekeeping
Do men only care about beauty and intelligence? If a beautiful woman does not even basicly clean up after herself or keep the house clean, she may not expect any respect for herself. And here it is worth remembering reasonable limits.
A woman does not have to become a house slave; it is enough to do basic housework and distribute responsibilities correctly.
No man will tolerate a woman next to him who is not even familiar with the basic standards of maintaining cleanliness and order.
What You Need to Know About Men and Masculinity
After some thought, everyone added that it is very important that a man loves, that he is gentle and caring with a woman.
In fact, this is the essence of a real man, the core of his psyche. These are tenderness, flexibility, caring, gentleness and the ability to provide support. Who wouldn't want a man like that? In life, everything happens exactly the opposite: as a rule, the man in the family is tough, often aggressive. Although at work he can show his most wonderful qualities: responsiveness, attentiveness, desire to help and ability to support. I can say from experience that the tougher a man is in the family, the weaker he is in life. You can't judge a person based on just one area of her life. The more manifestations, the better you can see him: what kind of husband, father or son he is, what a professional he is.
The topic of masculinity is interesting because by analyzing it, we can talk about how to properly interact between men and women, how to raise boys, how to better develop our masculinity and what is the true driving force for men. We can get many answers to such questions by analyzing what is the core of masculinity.
True masculinity sprouts only from the feminine principle
According to the theory of Carl Gustav Jung, the human psyche is based on the so-called anima and animus - unconscious images of the feminine principle in a man and the masculine principle in a woman. I propose to take a closer look at the male psyche.
Anima, in other words, the feminine principle in the psyche, is responsible for the manifestation of precisely feminine qualities - care, tenderness, love and kindness. And it is precisely this beginning in a man that women like so much. Ask any woman what kind of man she would like and how she would like him to care for her. Indeed, they often say: coffee in bed, so that you cook, say great words, so that you are gentle and attentive. And note that all women, when talking about their beloved man, repeat exactly the same epithets that, at first glance, would be more appropriate to talk about their mother.
In fact, if this feminine principle is manifested in a man, then on this soil all the seeds of masculinity sprout in the form of chivalry, strength, pressure, energy, achievements and wealth.
The more fertile the soil, the stronger the sprouts
If this soil is not available at all or the soil is weak and ineffective, then the fruits will be unviable, with frail sprouts. Such a man will not delight a woman. The weakest man is the one whose field with the feminine principle is small and weak. When a man is tough, he deliberately demonstrates his masculine qualities, but in fact he does not have them inside. This is because masculine qualities are implanted externally. If a man does not have that fertile field in the form of manifested anima, there is always a feeling that he is artificial, weak, that as soon as the wind blows stronger, the man’s pomposity will go away somewhere. And if it really sprouted, then we see how unbending this force is, how capable a man is of loving, being faithful, very strong and courageous. It's very attractive.
Where are all the real men?
From childhood, the core of our psyche in the form of masculinity or femininity was destroyed in us. How do they do this with boys? When they say: “You are a boy, don’t cry! You are a boy! You can't be so tender and sensitive! You couldn’t fight back, you couldn’t do this and that—who are you after that?” From childhood, men had to endure such humiliation. Of course they have to defend themselves. Of course, uncertainty arises. Of course, they become dependent on the amount of money. How much money, so much self-respect. They have to force people to respect themselves, at least through money.
You cannot destroy men, especially at such a young, childish, fragile age. When a boy’s entire masculinity is just revealed through his ability to love, through his tenderness, touchingness, purity, sensitivity, ability to empathize, pity, ability to show tenderness, understanding, admiration for female beauty and love. If this does not happen, then we will destroy the true knight. And we will walk around the world with an outstretched hand in the hope that someday on our way we will meet a real knight, a real man who will protect, warm and become a life partner, with whom nothing will be impossible for you.
How to form the feminine principle of the psyche in a child?
Boys are more sensitive and vulnerable in childhood. Under no circumstances should you tell them: “Don’t cry, you’re a boy.” If he cries, hug him and give him a chance to cry. You will say: “But then he will not develop into a man!” This is how real men are formed. This has been tested on more than one generation of men.
When you see that a boy is in pain, hug him, ask him what worries him, talk to him. He should not feel that he is bad, that he is to blame, that he will make a bad man. On the contrary, the more feminine manifestations in this period - tenderness, softness, warmth, even weakness - over time, a magnificent man can emerge from him. If you don't break it.
Somewhere you need to give a hint, somewhere you need to ask: “What do you think should be done?” Ask questions, and the child himself will slowly form. You only need to understand and help him once, and you will see that over time the child will cry less. It’s worth supporting once - this support gives enormous strength. And if you constantly scold, the child will cry more often. At the same time, there is no need to say: “How strong and brave you are.” How strong is he if he's crying now? He understands that he is not strong.
Let him be weak, just love him. Give him a chance to cry, just ask. And when he calms down a little, let him tell you this situation. He will tell you, share with you and immediately perk up, become active and automatically display masculine qualities. The most important thing during this period is not to sow in boys the seed of guilt, inferiority, in the form of the fact that he does not deserve love. He must be confident in your love. And love for a child is, first of all, understanding.
Don’t say the phrases: “You must, you must!” Ask instead: “Can you help me?” This is how you form the beginnings of his knightly qualities, which with age will develop into such benefits for you. Raise your child now - and then as a mother you will be the most joyful and happy. If you do this, you will see. Some children's behavior changes within two days. Try it, it works.
In order to raise children correctly, you need to clearly understand who you want as an adult, what fate you want for your child.
Stop rejecting your natural warmth
Men often reject their warmth, softness and tenderness. It creeps in and is perceived as “unmasculine.” When a man is left alone with life and difficult times overtake him, he becomes defenseless. Masculinity disappears. Often when a man finds himself in trouble, you can see that he has no masculinity at all. This happens to almost all men. Rare men are not ashamed of this. And how does a man try to make up for this? Through money. But this cannot be made up for, and the man begins to run after earnings and ends up in the rat race. As we know, this will sooner or later lead to a dead end.
Therefore, in order to strengthen your masculinity, become internally stronger and more confident, we suggest starting with the most basic things. Of course, everything is very individual, but all the men I worked with said that they could not express everything that had accumulated inside them. Therefore, step by step you need to start activating your feminine side. What does it mean? Start showing tenderness, gentleness and love with your loved ones. This is the field in which your true masculinity then grows. At home, in the family, it is important for a man to be able to show feelings: to be warm and fuzzy, to talk about his worries and worries, as well as his love for his family. Outside the home and at work, he can be very tough, and that's normal. He knows how true he must be in his family and how true he must be at work.
Only by accepting and strengthening his natural feminine principle can a man become stronger. Get to know yourself, accept and reveal everything that is inherent in us from birth, this will help you discover your true selves and be surprised at how much more wonderful there is in you.
Best regards, Liliya Kim
Be yourself
What's so hard about just being yourself? Many women are often influenced, try to appear different, or show attempts to be better than others. But men always feel deceived. Therefore, if a woman knows how to remain herself in any situation, she always receives respect for her person.
And if there are certain shortcomings, they can be carefully hidden. There is no point in playing a perfect role or being better than others. Only by remaining yourself in any situation can you feel happy and confident.
Photo: Pixabay
2.5.4 Social behavior of a man, restraint and correct behavior
If a young man, as a teenager, did not show an active interest in girls and did not enjoy attention from them, then, as a rule, a socially oriented dominant behavior began to prevail in him. Such a young man, in a sense, is forced to assert himself through achievements that can raise the bar of his self-esteem.
Such achievements, for example, can be good studies, active social work, ranks in sports, etc. On the way to their achievements, young men with a socially oriented dominant behavior develop self-discipline, restraint, perseverance and patience. They become good boys by trying to meet the criteria of correct and good behavior. Of course, the criteria are different in different layers of society, but this does not change the essence.
A good boy is subject to rules and regulations in order to demonstrate and prove his superiority to everyone around him. Good boys, of course, can only be good outwardly and, deep down in their souls, hate those who are more free and liberated, as well as painfully envy those to whom girls pay more attention. However, it is the good boys who can climb the career ladder very high.
Many of them can be corrupted by their high position in society, great powers and permissiveness that they acquire at the top. But among them there are also many who strive to be truly noble and worthy people until the end of their days. In itself, the social dominance of behavior implies a person’s desire to be not just an integral part of society, but also to play some noticeable and important role.
Good boys are restrained and will not allow their inner impulses to plunge them into the frenzy of strong desires and drives. As a result, they become restrained and proper men. On the other hand, a restrained and correct man constantly suppresses something in himself and becomes demanding of himself and the people around him.
These qualities partially reduce his sexual attractiveness, since sexuality implies an outburst of passion. And yet, a restrained and correct man, despite his tempting impulses, tries to correspond to his personal ideas of dignity. This applies not only to the sexual side of human existence, but also to relationships with other people in society.
As a rule, you can rely on a restrained and correct man due to his predictability and sense of duty. However, some of the restrained and correct men are boring people with whom it is difficult to plunge into the whirlpool of uncontrollable desires. Excessive self-control can lead a person to increased internal conflicts, irritability and nervousness.
Restrained and correct men can suffer from neuroses and lose their temper over trifles, and then feel guilty and try to somehow make up for their involuntary breakdowns. If breakdowns become frequent, then such a person begins to look for excuses for himself and accuses everyone around him of all kinds of sins. This is definitely the worst case scenario. A reserved and correct man is careful, responsible and can make a very good impression.
However, it is important to understand that inside a reserved person there are necessarily hidden some personal interests and desires that he does not allow to appear openly. Perhaps he will never allow them to manifest themselves, but it may also happen that he simply cannot contain the internal pressure and a completely different inside of him will burst out.
If a well-mannered, discreet and correct man does what he loves and gets pleasure and satisfaction from his activities, then most likely he will be a worthy and wonderful person throughout his life. Every man has both the share of a male male and the share of a restrained and correct person. Some share always prevails, subordinating the other.
