Misogynistic call a person who exhibits misogyny, i.e. hatred, hostility, contempt towards women. This term consists of two Greek words: "μῖσος" - hatred and "γυνή" - woman.
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In psychology, misogyny is considered a complex expressed in contempt and hatred for the entire female sex. Initially, this phenomenon was considered in psychoanalysis as a negative Oedipus complex. Psychologists explain this by saying that the misogynist experienced some kind of psychological trauma at an early age associated with a female representative: mother, sister, grandmother, teacher, or any other woman. Men prone to misogyny very often do not realize this, since hostility towards women is rooted deep in their subconscious.
Misogyny can manifest itself in the form of gender discrimination, belittling of women, violence, or sexual objectification (seeing a person solely as an object for one's own sexual gratification). At the same time, a misogynist may not clearly express his feelings, but the presence of this psychological complex can be revealed by the following behavioral features:
- He is distinguished by enviable punctuality when it comes to meetings with men, but easily allows himself to be late on a date with a woman;
- He considers it a matter of honor to keep his word in relations with men, but neglects this rule in relations with women;
- If he occupies a leadership position, then he always gives his male subordinates much more freedom than women, whom he severely criticizes for the slightest missteps;
- Does not allow women to be better than him in some way: a spouse cannot earn more, and a colleague cannot cope with his job responsibilities better;
- He has charm, knows how to please women, and may even be known as a ladies' man. But with closer and longer communication, he begins to show rapid transitions from charm to cruelty and vice versa, from rudeness to charm.
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Misogyny – what is it?
This word is of ancient Greek origin. Misogyny literally translates as “disgust towards women.” A person suffering from this condition hates the entire female gender. Initial searches for the causes of the problem led to the conclusion that it was a consequence of the Oedipus complex. It is formed in early childhood in boys as a response to the threat of castration from the mother.
These findings began to be used in psychoanalysis. Later they came to the conclusion that a hostile attitude towards the weaker sex is revenge for the insults caused. If women show signs of negativity towards men, then this is misandry. They can hate both sexes equally. Misogyny and misandry are conditions of the same plane, which are corrected by similar methods. If women hate members of their own sex, this is internalized misogyny.
How to get along with a misogynist?
Misogynist is a synonym for sadist, tyrant, domestic torturer. Such a person is sociopathic, that is, he does not understand and does not accept public moral norms. Empathy (sympathy, empathy) is alien to a misogynist. Therefore, appealing to prudence and conscience is pointless here. Physical punishment will not change the situation. It is impossible to re-educate or cure such a person. Sooner or later a woman will be convinced of this.
How to live with a misogynist? Extremely difficult. Such a life resembles living on a powder keg. A misogynist does not need reasons for aggression, because hatred of women is his strong personal conviction. Therefore, pleasing and tolerating is the wrong option. The only thing that can help is family cognitive behavioral therapy. In some cases, you may additionally need to take antidepressants. In general, a lot of effort will be needed, especially at the stage of persuasion and requests to see a psychologist.
In conclusion, it is worth reminding women once again that it is his actions, not his words, that speak about a person. The phrase “I hate women” is akin to “all men are assholes.” Neither one nor the other characterizes a person. It could be a simple generalization spoken from the hearts. To recognize a misogynist, you need to look at his attitude and actions towards all the women around him, and also, for comparison, towards men. If there are certain suspicions, you need to ask more knowledgeable women about him, and after making sure that the man is a misogynist, run away as quickly as possible.
Lyudmila, Vladivostok
Misogyny - reasons
Scientists believe that the prerequisites for the occurrence of a hated condition may appear during intrauterine development. Under the influence of hormones, tendencies towards hostile behavior are likely to develop. The following factors aggravate and intensify the pathology:
- poor connection with the mother on a sensory-emotional level;
- cruel treatment of a child by female relatives;
- upbringing in conditions of permissiveness and spoiling;
- copying the father's behavior (internal misogyny in girls);
- imitation of one's idol;
- bullying and ridicule from peers;
- unrequited love or breakup with a girl;
- fiasco in sexual relationships;
- the cult of patriarchy that has developed in society;
- stereotypes about gender inequality.
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Misogyny in women
Some women are ashamed of their gender status. By treating their friends derogatorily, they consider themselves endowed with masculine qualities. Female misogyny has additional causes:
- Feelings of envy towards a friend because of a more successful choice of partner.
- The same emotion in terms of someone else's higher level of well-being.
- Ugliness. The existing “ugly girl” complex can cause hostility towards “beauties”.
- Distortions of cognitive perception of reality. For example, statements like “only a woman can park a car like that.”
- False competition because of the “prince on a white horse.” There is a prejudice in the mind that there are not enough worthy suitors for everyone, so you need to suppress your girlfriends.
Misogyny in women - signs
In most cases, the hated state is in a latent form. It is a rare woman who will dare to openly show her hostility towards representatives of her sex. In women, signs of internal misogyny can manifest themselves in different ways:
- Typical verbal cliches are inherent. For example, “we women don’t understand anything about technology.”
- They evaluate the actions of other women with a “male gaze.”
- With or without reason, the surrounding representatives of the fairer sex are criticized and humiliated.
- Has no girlfriends.
- When choosing between a woman and a man, preference is always given to the latter (for example, when appointed to a position).
Is it possible to get rid of misogyny?
With a hidden form of misogyny, it is very difficult to recognize an obvious sexist.
The situation is further aggravated by the fact that none of the men admits their problem voluntarily. That is why the first stage of treatment will be the awareness of the problem by the man himself. However, not everyone will be able to completely get rid of a psychological disorder, given that the severity of psychosis, as well as the inability to identify its causes, can become an obstacle.
So, to identify the severity of psychosis, as well as its elimination, it is advisable for a man to visit a psychotherapist who will help not only determine the root cause, but also determine treatment methods.
For this type of psychosis, the following measures can be applied:
- drug treatment;
- psychological therapy.
Misogyny in men
It is believed that, to one degree or another, hatred of women is inherent in all representatives of the stronger half of humanity. A simple example shows what misogyny is in men in everyday life. Almost any individual can allow his circle of friends to express contempt for the fair sex (however, like women, they are sometimes inclined to discuss their gentlemen). The stable condition in men manifests itself in two forms:
- Active . A person openly shows a negative attitude towards the opposite sex through statements and behavior. He propagates his views among representatives of the stronger half of humanity.
- Hidden . The man wears a ladies' man mask. The reasons for this behavior may be fear, a sense of revenge or deceit. He tries in every possible way to please women at the first meetings. With closer and longer acquaintance, misogyny manifests itself in full, which leads to a break in the relationship.
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Misogyny in men - signs
The mental state of hatred is closely related to egoism. What is misogyny in men can be recognized by the following signs:
- The behavior reveals hidden and overt manners that insult and humiliate women.
- There is a habit of expressing ourselves in sayings and phrases relating to female dignity.
- There is an attitude in his mind: in all cases, the woman is solely to blame.
- The misogynist is deeply convinced that the weaker sex is created to satisfy the whims of the stronger half.
- In his opinion, he must humiliate himself in order to help a woman.
- In intimate relationships, he cares only about his own satisfaction.
- Patients with misogyny tend to deify a man, considering him the “crown of creation.”
- The negative attitude extends to representatives of the entire weaker sex.
- There is all sorts of belittling and ignoring of the successes and achievements of women.
Why do men become misogynists?
It would probably be more accurate to ask about when men become misogynists. After all, age often plays a key role. Therefore, let's look at the most common examples of how ordinary guys turn into aggressive misogynists:
- Children's images. It's no secret that a person's character and habits develop at an early age. The same rule applies to misogynists. Most misogynists become misogynists because they were exposed to incorrect behavior patterns as children. For example, a mother who beats and humiliates her child becomes the embodiment of his despair and anger. Over the years, this image spreads to all women, which is why a man begins to completely hate them.
- Youthful indignation. Teenagers are very emotional, which increases the chance of psychological trauma at this age. Therefore, often a misogynistic young man is a guy who is disappointed in his love. For example, if the romantic zeal of a young man was cruelly trampled by his chosen one, then there is a possibility that after this he will hate all the girls. After all, they will all frantically remind him of the one who gave him his first mental pain.
- Mature disappointment. Oddly enough, the older a person is, the lower the chance that he will become a misogynist. This is due to the fact that at this age his inner world is already formed. And only a strong emotional shock can destroy it. For example, the reason for this could be treason, betrayal or a major lie on the part of a life partner.
Misogyny - examples
A clear expression of a negative attitude towards women is the typical images and stereotypes of behavior that abound in modern society.
- Misogyny and sexism are manifested in the male image of a rich but aging “daddy” who marries a girl much younger than him. Here the wife's role is that of a prestigious, beautiful appendage to a wealthy man.
- On the contrary, the young gigolo and polygamist despises the one who supports him. At the right moment, he abandons the next victim of deception.
- The Taskmaster Syndrome. The desire to rise above other women in the eyes of men, to take them under one’s “guardianship” is the driving motive for the behavior of such ladies.
- Stereotype of a strong independent woman. In this case, misogyny is the opposition of the feminine essence intended by nature itself. A woman's true strength lies in her apparent weakness.
Signs of misogyny
Despite the fact that society is developing and in our time any manifestation of intolerance is deeply condemned, not everyone manages to get rid of harmful attitudes or restrain their negative impulses. Even if a man tries to hide his negative attitude towards women, there are a number of signs and behavior patterns that can reveal his true attitude. Thus, the following manifestations may be signs of misogyny:
- Hatred that applies to all women, regardless of their social status, achievements and merits;
- Any achievements of the female gender are considered unimportant, insignificant, denied or belittled;
- The image of a man is identified with influence, status and is elevated in every possible way;
- Disrespectful communication, when a man considers it acceptable to use ridicule, rudeness and insults towards women;
- Difficulties in establishing psychological contact with women;
- Refusal to perceive a woman as a full partner, demand from a woman unquestioning submission to a man;
- Shifting the blame onto women for any problem;
It is noteworthy that a misogynist man can be successful, influential and respected, extol successful men and admire their achievements, while secretly despising women.
What are the dangers of misogyny?
The main danger is that the person with the problem is confident in the correctness of his behavior. Where misogyny leads can be traced through the example of family relationships. In the conditions of tyranny that develops in the family of a misogonist, a woman is forced to get used to the image of a victim. The more the sufferer lives in it, the stronger the psychological attachment she becomes to her tormentor. Sometimes you have to gather all your spiritual strength, enlist the support of relatives and call for help from law enforcement agencies in order to get out from under the power of a misogonist.
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